I GOT CABLE ONE DAY AND I WAS TRYING TO FIND SOMETHING TO WATCH AND I
WATCHED MTV FOR ABOUT 2 HOURS THEN I GOT A BOWLING BALL AND THREW IT
THROUGH THE SCREEN AND TOOK THE BOWLING BALL AND BROKE THE CIRCUIT
BOARD AND BROKE THE CABINET. I CALLED MY CABLE COMPANY AND TOLD THEM
THAT I AM CANCELING SERVICE AND THEY ASKED ME WHY I AM CANCELLING AND
I TOLD THEM THAT I HAD BETTER NOT RECEIVE ANOTHER BILL FROM THEM. I
FILLED UP THE SPACE WHERE MY TV ONCE UP WITH OREOS AND TWINKIES.

THEN ONE DAY I WAS RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF A GALLON OF VANILLA ICE
CREAM AND I GOT A KNOCK ON THE DOOR. I OPENED IT AND IT WAS A BUNCH
OF
TEENAGERS. I THOUGHT THAT THEY WERE MORMONS BUT THEY SAID THAT THEY
WERE FROM DISH NETWORK AND THEY WANTED TO OFFER ME SATELLITE TV.

I TOLD THEM TO HOLD ON A MINUTE WHILE I GET MY CHECKBOOK. I SHUT THE
DOOR AND TOOK A sh.t IN MY LEFT HAND AND I OPENED THE DOOR AND
PROPELLED A LOG OF DOOK IN ONE OF THE SALESMAN'S FACES AND I TOLD
THEM
THAT IF THEY CAME BACK I WAS GOING TO KICK THEIR a.ses.