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Cat Forum / General Topics / September 2003UPDATE...re: HELP!! Sitter needed for my two fur babies!
Hi all... It seems now that I need help as much as my kitty boys do. I have called all of the local shelters in Alberta and no one can or will help me. It appears that there are many, many men who are beating up on their wives, and the shelters are all full. How sad... :-( The problem is that because I am in an emotionally rather than physically abusive situation, I don't qualify for their help. I have to accuse my boyfriend of hitting me when he hasn't, and have him charged. This is the Canadian Legislation on abuse. If I don't lie to get help, then there is nothing out there for me. In the meantime, he goes to jail for something he has not done. I couldn't live with myself if I made a false accusation against him just to help myself. I have been hit many times in past relationships and will never tolerate that again, however, I find that the emotional abuse is much worse than anything I ever endured physically. It leaves scars that will never heal. Bruises and broken bones get better in time. So, I guess what I'm saying now is that I too am looking for a room. If anyone in Alberta has a room for my boys and I, for a short period of time, it would be greatly appreciated. I have very little money (only enough to feed myself and my boys), but will be looking for work as soon as I get settled someplace. I will happily pay room and board and maybe even stay on, if things work out and we get along okay. We can help each other. -- Hugs, Lynn sewfinefashions@shawCLOTHES.ca *strip CLOTHES to reply* Homepage: http://members.shaw.ca/sewfinefashions/ See my boys: http://photos.yahoo.com/bc/papavince_29/ Why don't you just leave that loser? :Hi all... : [quoted text clipped - 28 lines] :Homepage: http://members.shaw.ca/sewfinefashions/ :See my boys: http://photos.yahoo.com/bc/papavince_29/ I am trying to leave, but with very little money, no family or friends close by, and no place to run to...where am I supposed to go? I'm at my wits end here trying to figure this all out. I have been at it now for almost 3 months. I exhausted all other options before asking here for help. -- Hugs, Lynn sewfinefashions@shawCLOTHES.ca *strip CLOTHES to reply* Homepage: http://members.shaw.ca/sewfinefashions/ See my boys: http://photos.yahoo.com/bc/papavince_29/ | Why don't you just leave that loser? | [quoted text clipped - 45 lines] | :Homepage: http://members.shaw.ca/sewfinefashions/ | :See my boys: http://photos.yahoo.com/bc/papavince_29/ Hi, perhaps you can get your parents to wire you some money for a hotel? If you stay away for a couple of days, maybe you're spouse will realize the pain hes causing you and come to his senses? The next time he says something emotionally hurtfull, stand up and say "you've better stop this bullshit, or I'm leaving for good!". Even if you don't have enough money to make it on your own at the moment, make him think you can support yourself without him. Emotional leeches put people down that they think are "smaller" than they are to make themselves feel good. What ever happens, I hope the best for you and your kitties! :I am trying to leave, but with very little money, no family or friends close by, and no :place to run to...where am I supposed to go? I'm at my wits end here trying to figure [quoted text clipped - 59 lines] :| :Homepage: http://members.shaw.ca/sewfinefashions/ :| :See my boys: http://photos.yahoo.com/bc/papavince_29/ | Hi, perhaps you can get your parents to wire you some money for a hotel? Another good idea. However, both of my parents are deceased, and my sister is broke with her own bills and can't help me financially. | If you stay away for a couple of days, maybe you're spouse will realize | the pain hes causing you and come to his senses? I tried this already. Nothing changed.... :-( Motel room refuge is the reason that I have no money left to help myself with now. | The next time he says something emotionally hurtfull, stand up and say | "you've better stop this bullshit, or I'm leaving for good!". Tried this too. He just laughed and asked where I was going to go with no money. Even if | you don't have enough money to make it on your own at the moment, make him | think you can support yourself without him. He is fully aware that I have nothing, no one to ask for help and no place to run to. Emotional leeches put people | down that they think are "smaller" than they are to make themselves feel | good. I am painfully knowledgeable in this area. | What ever happens, I hope the best for you and your kitties! Thank you very much for your kind words of encouragement and your ideas. As I said, I have been going over this for almost 3 months now, trying to find an escape. There aren't many ideas that I haven't already tried. That is why I asked here for help. I was hoping that some kind soul would open their heart and their home to me and my boys. I was also looking for any ideas that I hadn't thought of and tried on my own. Again.....thank you for your kindness. xoxo -- Hugs, Lynn sewfinefashions@shawCLOTHES.ca *strip CLOTHES to reply* Homepage: http://members.shaw.ca/sewfinefashions/ See my boys: http://photos.yahoo.com/bc/papavince_29/ > Hi all... Gosh Lynn, I do feel for you. Do you feel safe actually posting what you posted? I do feel for the situation you are in and wish there was some way to help, but we are on opposite ends of the continent, so i'm not sure what I can do from here. If you need an ear to listen or a shoudler to cry on, my inbox is open - just do a reply to and change to hotmail. hi you could try posting on http://www.canadianfreestuff-forum.com/phpBB2/ in the help me find fourm at the very top or the dear abby fourm at the very bottom, someone there may be able to help you. Lauralai > Hi all... > [quoted text clipped - 28 lines] > Homepage: http://members.shaw.ca/sewfinefashions/ > See my boys: http://photos.yahoo.com/bc/papavince_29/ Are you close enough to your sister ( geographically and emotionally) to move in with her on a short term basis? You could stipulate that you will pay for your own stuff and make an agreement with her that you will move out within a set amount of time. Also, have you considered pawning your boyfriend's possessions ( TV, VCR, jewelry...) to get the money you need to get out? I wish I could help but I am 2000+ miles away. Laurn > Hi all... > [quoted text clipped - 28 lines] > Homepage: http://members.shaw.ca/sewfinefashions/ > See my boys: http://photos.yahoo.com/bc/papavince_29/ > Also, have you considered pawning your boyfriend's possessions ( TV, VCR, > jewelry...) to get the money you need to get out? > > Laurn Unless she can prove that these possessions are at least partly hers, you have just set her up for a possible criminal charge with this advice. MaryL | Are you close enough to your sister ( geographically and emotionally) to | move in with her on a short term basis? You could stipulate that you will [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] | | Laurn Hi Laurn, I am close enough to my sister emotionally, but not physically. She is further away than what you are. I have no way to get to her without some cash. As to pawning my BF's things...I could not live with myself if I did that. I have never been a "taker" and am not about to start now just to save myself. I would rather walk away with nothing and no place to go, than steal from him or anyone else. Not to mention the fact that I could end up charged with theft for doing so. -- Hugs, Lynn sewfinefashions@shawCLOTHES.ca *strip CLOTHES to reply* Homepage: http://members.shaw.ca/sewfinefashions/ See my boys: http://photos.yahoo.com/bc/papavince_29/ Try this: http://www.womennet.ca/ It has all kinds of resources...from abuse to jobs etc...perhaps you could get a job and save some cash to get a cheap place? Good luck. > | Are you close enough to your sister ( geographically and emotionally) to > | move in with her on a short term basis? You could stipulate that you will [quoted text clipped - 25 lines] > Homepage: http://members.shaw.ca/sewfinefashions/ > See my boys: http://photos.yahoo.com/bc/papavince_29/ | Try this: | http://www.womennet.ca/ | It has all kinds of resources...from abuse to jobs etc...perhaps you could | get a job and save some cash to get a cheap place? | | Good luck. Hi C.S. and thanks! I just quickly glanced over this site and it looks great. I will investigate it further to see what I can find here. Someone there just may be able to offer some help or suggestions. -- Hugs, Lynn sewfinefashions@shawCLOTHES.ca *strip CLOTHES to reply* Homepage: http://members.shaw.ca/sewfinefashions/ See my boys: http://photos.yahoo.com/bc/papavince_29/ > | Are you close enough to your sister ( geographically and emotionally) to > | move in with her on a short term basis? You could stipulate that you will [quoted text clipped - 25 lines] > Homepage: http://members.shaw.ca/sewfinefashions/ > See my boys: http://photos.yahoo.com/bc/papavince_29/ OK, the pawning thing was a stupid idea. I am sorry, I guess I was feeling vindictive last night. That being said, maybe you have something of your own you can sell? | OK, the pawning thing was a stupid idea. I am sorry, I guess I was feeling | vindictive last night. That being said, maybe you have something of your own | you can sell? Hi Laurn, I know the feeling very well. Anger and vindictiveness can do strange things to our normally rational thought processes. As to selling anything of my own, I would love to do just that. I have a bit of furniture that I'm trying to get rid of so there is less to move. I don't have much, but any little bit of cash at this point will sure be of great help to me. Other than the bit of furnishings that I have purchased, I have nothing to sell. I would only get about $40 for my computer, so that's not even feasible. It would cost much more than that to replace the old dinosaur. I'm still wracking my brain here....and still in limbo..... :-( -- Hugs, Lynn sewfinefashions@shawCLOTHES.ca *strip CLOTHES to reply* Homepage: http://members.shaw.ca/sewfinefashions/ See my boys: http://photos.yahoo.com/bc/papavince_29/ > | Are you close enough to your sister ( geographically and emotionally) to > | move in with her on a short term basis? You could stipulate that you will [quoted text clipped - 25 lines] > Homepage: http://members.shaw.ca/sewfinefashions/ > See my boys: http://photos.yahoo.com/bc/papavince_29/ Lynn, I have another idea, and this one is legal. It looks like you have your own small business. There is a lot of money out their for people with small businesses. Although, a lot of it is loans there are grants available also. You may be able to get money to boost your business and give you the ability to live on your own. Yes, it will take a little time and you will have to write a business plan ( there are a lot of resources for doing this) but ultimately it means you can take care of yourself and your baby boys. There are many resources on the net. Do a Google search on small business grants in Canada and specifically in your area. This is just a thought. Laurn | Lynn, | [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] | | Laurn Hi Laurn, This is a much better idea than your first one. It is something that I can look into. Grants are something I have actually been trying to find out more information on. The unfortunate part of this idea is that it is going to take more time than what I have right now. I have to be out of this house by October 15th. I have already given my landlord my notice to vacate. That's a little over 2 weeks from now. I don't have much time left here and don't know yet where I am going to go. Nothing has been settled for me as of this point in time. I'm in limbo... :-( -- Hugs, Lynn sewfinefashions@shawCLOTHES.ca *strip CLOTHES to reply* Homepage: http://members.shaw.ca/sewfinefashions/ See my boys: http://photos.yahoo.com/bc/papavince_29/ > | Lynn, > | [quoted text clipped - 27 lines] > Homepage: http://members.shaw.ca/sewfinefashions/ > See my boys: http://photos.yahoo.com/bc/papavince_29/ I thought this suggestion of Laurn's really was a good idea. It does take time, of course. In the meantime, I notice that you are a seamstress. Have you thought of contacting some clothing stores in your area to see if you could work up a deal where you would do alterations? That used to be a normal part of buying women's clothing but now is difficult to find. I think many women would be willing to pay a fee to have clothing shortened or minor adjustments made. We even have drycleaners here that provide that service -- anything from sewing on buttons to taking up hems to making repairs. This would not pay a lot, but it would provide some funds to get you started. MaryL (take out the litter to reply) | I thought this suggestion of Laurn's really was a good idea. It does take | time, of course. In the meantime, I notice that you are a seamstress. Have [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] | MaryL | (take out the litter to reply) Hi Mary, Another good idea. I did this when I first moved to this town. Unfortunately there are only 3 small women's wear stores here. They are all giving me any work that comes their way, which amounts to about $100 worth of work per month. Not enough to help, really. By the time I buy a bit of food to eat, I'm broke again. I need to be in a larger town for sure. This is a very small town, with a poplation less than 5,000. There are very few amenities and even less resources for help. I very much appreciate your thoughts and suggestions. Every bit of it helps. :-) -- Hugs, Lynn sewfinefashions@shawCLOTHES.ca *strip CLOTHES to reply* Homepage: http://members.shaw.ca/sewfinefashions/ See my boys: http://photos.yahoo.com/bc/papavince_29/ |
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