Hi Cindy,

Yes, I'm sure it applies to calicos.  There are 3 types of tortie: Brindle
Tortie (intense striping/barring); Tabby Tortie (regular tabby-type stripes,
but tortie colouring); and Calico Tortie (white ground colour with patches
of tortie colouring).  They all seem to have this 'nervous' problem.  It's
as if they can't quite cope with life at a very basic level.

I certainly think there's room for improvement.  It's a very good sign that
she allows petting from your family and not just yourself.  Can you,
perhaps, intensify this friendly activity to gain her trust more and get her
used to being over-handled?  If she can cope well with excessive handling
among people she accepts, there is a good chance she may gradually tolerate
your visitors.  If you have a good friend who regularly visits, perhaps this
friend would be prepared (at the 'right time') to cooperate.  It is
important that any person you introduce in this way doesn't 'eyeball'
Amanda.  Cats hate eye contact.  Amanda may break this rule for you, if
you're lucky, but eye contact is generally offensive to all cats.

During the first several encounters, it is enough that Amanda is in the same
room as your visitor.  If she stays calmly (hiding is allowed at first!) in
that same room, really praise her and tell her how pleased you are. Offer a
treat as you praise, so she makes the connection. Gradually, have your
friend introduce a brief head stroke, but don't force it.  It will take some
time, but I'll be astonished if your Amanda doesn't slowly accept your (very
patient) friend.

I do sympathise with your other problem.  My poor Cheetah tends to poop in
her pet carrier when stressed.  Fortunately, my husband drives so, as we
travel, I open the carrier door and pet Cheetah and talk to her.  If she
behaves really well, I even let her partially out of the carrier so she can
snuggle up to me.  This solves the problem.  However, I am very aware of the
risk I am taking!  I talk softly but firmly to Cheetah and warn her that if
she tries to explore, she goes straight back in the locked carrier.  For the
time being, this works very well for us, but it is just a short-term
strategy to train her out of stress pooping.  I will let you know how I get
on, but do remind me!

You really must take Amanda to the vet, even if you have to arm yourself
with latex gloves, plastic bags, an air freshener and a tolerant chauffer!!
Your vet will understand.  The more you do it, the easier it will be.  Never
shout at her for soiling in this way.  Reassure her and say you understand.
If you show you're cross with her, it will only add more stress.  I would be
exaggerating if I said I praised Cheetah for stress pooping, but my
reassurances are very warm and absolute!

Hope this helps.
Spider