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Cat Forum / General Topics / April 2006Cats in Science Fiction
I've just finished reading 'Accelerando' by Charlie Stross. Brilliant book; I thoroughly enjoyed it. Except for one thing. The cat. Yes - the cat. I have a strong dislike of anthropomorphised cats. To be honest, I loathe and hate cats, full stop. Dirty, disgusting, evil, arse-licking, cold, disease-ridden, sneeze-causing, shitty little bastards. The domestic cat should be exterminated. Totally. Every single one of them, painfully. But I digress. The point of this post is that I now need something to read which will cancel out the "yeeeuch" factor of the otherwise excellent 'Accelerando'. I warn you, though, that the "yeeeuch" factor of the said novel was so great that I fear it will take a VERY special book to wipe the terrible "yeeeuchness" from my mind. So, if anyone knows of any sci-fi novel, novella, novelette, or short story that features a cat (or, hopefully, cats) that ends up getting drowned, shot, pierced, electrocuted, dismembered, or even raped, then please speak up. Please. And if you can suggest something that features crowds of humans standing around pointing, and laughing at the aftermath of any of the events described above, I'll donate £100 to your favourite charity. Thank you. Changing your display name still does not make you a interesting troll you still rank below a one SLAP your mother twice for not swallowing and if you know who your father is which I doubt kick him in the balls so he don't breed twits like you again. School must be out this week the morons are coming out of the wood work > > "Tiddles the Dead Cat" <tiddles {AT} heavensGate {DOT} com> wrote in > > message news:jgopqbqwmptned2.210420062317@tb [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > > The point of this post is that I now need something to read which will > > cancel out the "yeeeuch" factor of the otherwise excellent 'Accelerando'. > > I warn you, though, that the "yeeeuch" factor of the said novel was so > > great that I fear it will take a VERY special book to wipe the terrible [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > SLAP your mother twice for not swallowing and if you know who your father > is which I doubt kick him in the balls so he don't breed twits like you again. > School must be out this week the morons are coming out of the wood work Netkop ranking ...... 3 Literacy ranking ...... -275 Originality ranking ...... -6281 Idiot factor ...... 9388473983 Conclusion - "Matthew" (snigger! Matthew!!!) is a nutjob. "Tiddles the Dead Cat" < people who enjoy hurting animals, talking about hurting animals, even joke about it are worse than pedophiles PLONK now go play with momma tell her you are up to late at night Nice try changing newsgroups twit > people who enjoy hurting animals, talking about hurting animals, even joke > about it are worse than pedophiles Well; that says a lot about YOU, then, "Matthew" (snigger! Matthew!!!), doesn't it?! > PLONK Oh noooooooo!!!!!!!!! > now go play with momma tell her you are up to late at night Was that meant to be : (a) "tell her you are up toO late at night", or (b) "tell her WHAT you are up to late at night" . . . . Just wondering. > Nice try changing newsgroups twit Can I introduce you to the comma, "Matthew" (snigger! Matthew!!!)? Here it is . . . . , >I've just finished reading 'Accelerando' by Charlie Stross. Brilliant book; >I thoroughly enjoyed it. Except for one thing. [quoted text clipped - 18 lines] >standing around pointing, and laughing at the aftermath of any of the events >described above, I'll donate £100 to your favourite charity. Thank you. Some possibilities occur to mind. One, that you're a troll, and not only that, what gamers call a griefer, whose chief ambition is to offend and disgust whomever they meet. Two, that you're terminally clueless. Either way, I don't think you'll find much help on SF-related groups, where we tend to be ailurophiles for the most part. I wish hundreds and thousands of invulnerable, immortal cats in your direction, to strop your legs and knead your lap and purr under your nose and, with luck, to trigger any latent fur allergies you may have. I can see them now, treading on silent feet, green and gold and blue eyes glowing in the half-dark, coming upon you when you least expect them. Enjoy. Dorothy J. Heydt Albany, California djheydt@kithrup.com > > I've just finished reading 'Accelerando' by Charlie Stross. Brilliant > > book; I thoroughly enjoyed it. Except for one thing. [quoted text clipped - 21 lines] > > Some possibilities occur to mind. I can tell you're going to be a "good one". Fire away, you crazy old loon! Go!!!!! > One, that you're a troll, and not only that, what gamers call a > griefer, whose chief ambition is to offend and disgust whomever > they meet. Nooooooo!!!! Really?! Gosh . . . . you're a genius! I bet no-one else managed to work all THAT out, eh?! > Two, that you're terminally clueless. I fear that people in glass houses shouldn't throw cats. > Either way, I don't think you'll find much help on SF-related > groups, where we tend to be ailurophiles for the most part. I think you should speak for yourself. YOU tend to be a f.cked-up nutjob, you sack of leprous, sh.t-stained monkey spunk. For the most part. > I wish hundreds and thousands of invulnerable, immortal cats in > your direction, to strop your legs and knead your lap and purr > under your nose and, with luck, to trigger any latent fur > allergies you may have. I can see them now, treading on silent > feet, green and gold and blue eyes glowing in the half-dark, > coming upon you when you least expect them. Enjoy. I have a kitten, in a box, by my side at this very moment. It dies unless you apologise for your profanity. If there's one thing I can't stand - apart from cats, of course - it's crazed, sex-starved nutjobs who f.cking swear. > Dorothy J. Heydt > Albany, California > djheydt@kithrup.com Matthew AKA NMR Ilovebeingacatslave@nospam.com . . . . wants to get you into a threesome with his cat. > I've just finished reading 'Accelerando' by Charlie Stross. Brilliant book; > I thoroughly enjoyed it. Except for one thing. [quoted text clipped - 18 lines] > standing around pointing, and laughing at the aftermath of any of the events > described above, I'll donate £100 to your favourite charity. Thank you. I think that the next thing you should read is a note from your physician saying that there is no hope and that your death will unavoidably be very painful. This is not only in reaction to your comments about cats as, without knowing you, I always hated you and wanted you dead. Will in New Haven -- "Win the easy hands. Loud, noisy confrontations are for d-gs." _Poker for Cats_ by Feather > So, if anyone knows of any sci-fi novel, novella, novelette, or short story > that features a cat (or, hopefully, cats) that ends up getting drowned, > shot, pierced, electrocuted, dismembered, or even raped, then please speak > up. You could try Terry Pratchett, as Greebo at least isn't cute, and something gets transmogrified so that he is no longer a cat. Wyrd Sisters Witches Abroad Lords and Ladies Maskerade Carpe Jugulum Then there are treecats, of course. God another one >> So, if anyone knows of any sci-fi novel, novella, novelette, or short >> story [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > > Then there are treecats, of course. > God another one Another what, Clueless? Read what that troll you responded to wrote before you gave him some ideas on what to look at >> God another one > > Another what, Clueless? > Read what that troll you responded to wrote before you gave him some ideas > on what to look at Don't tell me what to do and I won't kick you in the a.s if we should happen to meet. Is that fair, or what? "Gene Ward Smith" <genewardsmith@gmail.com> wrote in message > Don't tell me what to do and I won't kick you in the a.s if we should > happen to meet. Is that fair, or what? It's laughable how you mouthpieces are so brave hiding behind your keyboards. "Upscale" <upscale@teksavvy.com> > > It's laughable how you mouthpieces are so brave hiding behind your > keyboards. School must be out this week UPSCALE Were are getting all the dumbshits and idiots coming out of the wood work > "Gene Ward Smith" <genewardsmith@gmail.com> wrote in message > > Don't tell me what to do and I won't kick you in the a.s if we should > > happen to meet. Is that fair, or what? > > It's laughable how you mouthpieces are so brave hiding behind your > keyboards. I'm not a mouthpiece, I'm not hiding, and I'm not using a phony name, "Upscale". Is this all some kind of plot to give cat-lovers a bad name? I think certain people need to grow up and learn a little tolerance. Some people find Simon Bond amusing. Some people read, and even write, books with titles like "The Cat-Hater's Handbook". Grow up. Deal. "Gene Ward Smith" <genewardsmith@gmail.com> wrote in message > I'm not a mouthpiece, I'm not hiding, and I'm not using a phony name, > "Upscale". Is this all some kind of plot to give cat-lovers a bad name? No, it's pointing out that people like you apparently have all sorts of bravado online and say things online that in most cases, they'd never say to someone in person. > "Gene Ward Smith" <genewardsmith@gmail.com> wrote in message > > [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > bravado online and say things online that in most cases, they'd never say to > someone in person. So are you saying you are as rude and obnoxious in person as you are on the net, and proud of it? "Gene Ward Smith" <genewardsmith@gmail.com> wrote in message > > No, it's pointing out that people like you apparently have all sorts of > > bravado online and say things online that in most cases, they'd never say to > > someone in person. > > So are you saying you are as rude and obnoxious in person as you are on > the net, and proud of it? Nice attempt at trolling, but feeble at best. You threatened to kick someone's but and I'm telling you that it's highly unlikely you'd say it to someone it person. If you consider that truth to be obnoxious, then that's your prerogative. > Nice attempt at trolling, but feeble at best. Pointing out that you are an obnoxious boor is not an attempt at trolling. If you consider that truth to be distasteful, then I suggest you amend your on-line demeanor. I heartily concur. Reading various threads in this group, I have come to a number of conclusions, one of which is Matthew AKA NMR is one of the biggest f.ck sticks I have ever encountered. Does he ever have anything intelligent to say? NO! He just spends 24 hours a day waiting for new CatMail to arrive so he can spew forth a bunch of sh.t he thinks is useful information. f.ck You Matthew AKA NMR! btw, your Cat HATES YOU! >> God another one > > Another what, Clueless? Oh look the little one is throwing a hissy fit Does baby need a diaper change Why don't you go tell momma you made a big mess in your diaper and get her to change you. . No milk and cookies for you tonight for being such a bad boy God lord man grew up and get over yourself all you want a be tough boys just give us a good laugh on how pathetic your are The problem here, Matthew, is that you are far too fixated on your Mother. Every time you post you tell people their Mother should have swallowed and now you're sharing your fantasies of having your mom change your dirty diapers. You are a certifiable wack-job, Matthew. You need some serious help, man. You need to refocus your lifepath on something totally unrelated to Cats and your Mom. Do us all a favor and stop visiting this group. No-one finds you funny. No-one enjoys your sick Mom-Lust humor. And NOBODY WANTS TO READ ABOUT YOU FONDLING YOUR CATS anymore!!! Its just plain sick! NO CAT deserves that kind of treatment. LEAVE YOUR CATS ALONE! And please, PLEASE, don't post anymore pics of you touching your cats. That last one was totally disturbing. > Oh look the little one is throwing a hissy fit > Does baby need a diaper change [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > God lord man grew up and get over yourself all you want a be tough boys > just give us a good laugh on how pathetic your are "Cadman" <cadman@sonic.net> Your attempts at trolling are less than a one on a scale of 1 to 10 Try to come up with something better maybe pay attention in school a little more ask the teacher for extra assignments maybe they will help you out and keep your out of your career you are destined for at McDonalds as a minimum wage stooge "Cadman" <cadman@sonic.net> wrote in message news:4449b537$0$1520$742ec2ed@news.sonic.net > > > Matthew AKA NMR wrote: > [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > > You are a certifiable wack-job, Matthew. You need some serious help, > > man. You need to refocus your lifepath on something totally unrelated to > > Cats and your Mom. > [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > you out and keep your out of your career you are destined for at > McDonalds as a minimum wage stooge It's all true, Matthew. (Matthew! Mwahaahaahaa!) You are one SERIOUSLY f.cked-up nutter. The fact that you're illiterate on top of it all just makes it seem worse. Oh - and for f.ck's sake try and be original in your whining. PS Cats hate you. They really do. And EVERYONE thinks you're a nutter. ROFLMAO All that coming from you Thanks I need to have a good laugh Your obsessive tiff with me is cute but I am not interested try someone else at Mcdonalds maybe a Burger King or a Wendy's You need to be looking in the classified section get off your parent's shirt tails and get a real job Thanks for the laugh. McDonald's staff must love you > PS > Cats hate you. They really do. And EVERYONE thinks you're a nutter Dont speak for EVERYONE!!!!!! "BACBP" <bpolans@horizonview.net> Don't worry about I love these trolls you get such a good laugh from them. You got to laugh at their desperate ways to get attention to their pathetic lives. They get off on it but in real life they are some young little punk that gets his thrills from looking at playboys instead of trying to get with the real thing. They have to have something in their life it has not provide much for them and never will. Can't you picture them as dish washers or at McDonalds for the rest of their lives > "Cadman" <cadman@sonic.net> wrote in message > news:4449b537$0$1520$742ec2ed@news.sonic.net [quoted text clipped - 41 lines] > PS > Cats hate you. They really do. And EVERYONE thinks you're a nutter. Note: when calling someone else illiterate avoid the construction "try and" or at least try to. Not that anyone would have any respect for you anyway but you would be a tiny little bit less stupid-seeming. Just remember, you "try to" do things, you don't "try and" do them. It would probaby be easier if you never posted, wrote or spoke again. Eh? Or breathed. Will in New Haven  Signature"Shut UP," he explained. > So, if anyone knows of any sci-fi novel, novella, novelette, or short story > that features a cat (or, hopefully, cats) that ends up getting drowned, > shot, pierced, electrocuted, dismembered, or even raped, then please speak > up. On the off chance that you're not a troll, not a flake, not a nutcase, not a vivisectionist, (and not a dog in disguise): You might try Cordwainer Smith's "The Game of Rat and Dragon." Some of the cat characters come off second best. What happens to them is worse than getting drowned, shot, pierced, electrocuted, dismembered, or even raped. Best of all, the cat's aren't all lovey dovey and many have nasty personalities, once you learn to read their little rat, sex, and food obsessed minds. Try LionBoy, by Zizou Corder (zizoucorder.co.uk) Its a weird book that came free with a Harry Potter book I ordered from Hatchard's in London. While cats aren't exactly tortured, they are not well liked in a future where it seems they are the cause for Asthma... I think its the closest thing to what you seek you will find from an actual publisher. Good luck on the search, though! > I've just finished reading 'Accelerando' by Charlie Stross. Brilliant book; > I thoroughly enjoyed it. Except for one thing. [quoted text clipped - 18 lines] > standing around pointing, and laughing at the aftermath of any of the events > described above, I'll donate £100 to your favourite charity. Thank you. "Cadman" <cadman@sonic.net> What a twit welcome to the kill file your title pathetic troll wantabe twit My title pathetic? Are you referring to my handle? How ridiculous are you that you would poke fun at something you don't even understand? My handle refers to AutoCAD, which I use on a daily basis as Cad Manager for one of the largest Engineering firms in Northern California. I generally subscribe to Architectural/Engineering groups to find AutoLISP routines and various blocks to make my job easier, hence the name. I'm trying to see how someone who customizes and maintains an AutoCAD environment for 127 CAD drafters would be helpful at all at a McDonald's window. "Hi, may I take your order? Would you like those fries chamfered? What layer would you like that shake to be on? Can I dimension those McNuggets for you sir? How far would you like your Happy Meal offset? Do you prefer your pickles to be gouraud shaded or flat shaded?" You see, Matthew, you are a f.cking tool. You criticize what you cannot possibly comprehend. You can't see beyond your cats or your mom. It is quite obvious you are beginning to piss off a large number of people here. I'd suggest you go away now. Shoo little Matthew. Shoo. > "Cadman" <cadman@sonic.net> > What a twit welcome to the kill file your title pathetic troll wantabe > twit "Cadman" <cadman@sonic.net> <yawn> Obvious tactic Ranting Less than a 1 Troll trying to get a reponse by trying to make you angry Obvious tactic Ranting Less than a 1 Troll trying to impress people with saying how intelligent they are and you are not Obvious tactic Ranting Less than a 1 Troll telling you everyone doesn't want you here Rating Less than a 1 Obvious tactics Ranting Less than a 1 Above is all obvious when the troll is hitting rock bottom. That is bad when you have a ranking of less than a 1 even middle schoolers on spring or summer break do a better job than you OUCH! Poor troll Yawn! Bye Bye < snore > Huh. That reminds me of when I used to live in Toronto, and some novelty shop (probably the same one that spawned "pet rocks") came up with the idea for "Earl, the dead cat". Earl was a plush toy that came with the stuffing removed, and a set of tire tracks silkscreened across his midriff. He was billed as "the last cat you'll ever need, no more late night caterwauling or expensive food bills". Needless to say, the humane society was outraged and the items were removed from shop shelves almost as soon as they were stocked there. I'm sure you could buy one second-hand, with a little digging. (No pun intended) Should have followed that up with the website for you, but I didn''t think to "google" Earl until after I'd posted. http://www.maddogproductions.com/earl.htm > I've just finished reading 'Accelerando' by Charlie Stross. Brilliant book; > I thoroughly enjoyed it. Except for one thing. [quoted text clipped - 18 lines] > standing around pointing, and laughing at the aftermath of any of the events > described above, I'll donate £100 to your favourite charity. Thank you. Well, in Reginald Bretnor's _Genius of the Species_ they get enslaved by the Soviet regime. However, they win in the end, which may not suit you. |
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