I really don't know what to say.  Other than when a cat goes through abuse
it can sometimes take a very long time for them to become friendly.  She may
benefit more from a home that can understand her needs better (as in a home
that has dealt with abused cats or semi-feral cats).  Please don't just take
her to a shelter, contact Persian rescue groups in your area.  If you'd like
some help in locating one, I'd be happy to help.  Hopefully, others in this
group will have more ideas than I do.  :)

Holly

Cats beautiful or not have a mind of their own. They're not like dogs.
When they want you to hold them or pet them they'll let you. Infact
there will be times that you are busy and they don't really care and get
on your lap or in your face because they want to be petted or be a pain
then and there. Please don't bring it back to the shelter. Accept your
persian the way it is & yes the other kitten too. Only dogs will get on
your bed, lick your face & wag it's tail when it sees you. Hope you
decide to keep both of them.

There's a book I like, that might be interesting reading for you, it's
called "Twisted Whiskers" Guide to solving your cat's behavioral problems.

Maybe a long shot, but have you taken her to the vet? There may be
something painful about being held, like worms.

If not, try bribing her. We've taken in a stray Birman that *hates* our
cat Fifi. If she goes the day without seeing Fifi, she's fine. But as
soon as she sees Fifi, we can only pet the top of her head. Anything
else gets imediate growls/hissing. Luckily, I've found that she's not
very smart, and loves Temptations cat treats. She can be in the middle
of hissing at me, but if I shake that treat bag, she's all big-eyed
kitten, hatred forgotten. Also, maybe a toy-on-a-string could be a good
move.

Fifi also used to have the under-couch problem. She was never abused,
but maybe didn't have enough attention. For some reason she was scared
of being approached (she is a small black cat, so maybe she's been
stepped on in the dark?). If I went to pick her up, she'd run, but if I
was sitting she'd come to me. I've broken her of that habit by chasing
her until she's trapped, then grabbing her and petting her until she
purrs. I also made a deliberate effort of showing her that no place she
chose to hide would protect her from cuddles. I now have the opposite
problem, where she thinks it's appropriate to rub herself on my face in
the middle of the night.

Your boy may be picking up on a negative attitude, or he may just be
growing up. How long have you had him? I'd a boy I got from the shelter
that would not leave me for the first couple weeks, but he became less
interested after a while. I think any friendly animal might obsess
about their first new friend since the shelter.

I reccomend strongly against the leave-them-be approach. If she's still
having problems after a year, then the issue hasn't been addressed
enough. If she assumes you're going to act in a negative way, she needs
to be proven wrong. Leaving her alone will not do that. Another person
might be able to take better care of her, but that's your call. I doubt
that switching owners again, to someone who knows her less, will be of
help.

Thank you for all the helpful words.

Im happy to report that our male tabby has "grown out" of his funk and is
happy, playful, lovable and likes to sleep with his paw on my cheek. :)

As for the Persian, we are trying the
if-you-hide-you're-going-to-get-cuddled approach and FYI-- she hates toys.
It is truly frustrating trying to love an animal that doesn't seem to love
or appreciate you back. But-- we are committed to give it a go.

Thanks everyone.
Aerial