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FishWife - 31 Mar 2005 23:13 GMT

Hello all,

I would appreciate some advice from you, as I'm really not sure what to
do. This is long - sorry. :o)

Bit of background:
We have a Tom cat, Macavity, who is now 2 years old. We also have Ella
& Lou - two 7 month old kittens. Macavity has had his nose put out of
joint a bit by the arrival of the kittens, but we hoped that as the
kittens settled down a bit (and stopped mobbing him) he would come to
accept them.

Last night he didn't come home. The catflap is open all the time as we
live in the countryside, and there's little traffic. He doesn't use a
litter tray anymore, so he needs it open to do the toilet.

He eventually reappeared at about 3pm today - much to our relief. We'd
been going frantic looking for him.

But he's been acting a bit strangely since he came back. He doesn't
seem to want to come into the house. We've tried putting the kittens
away in a room by themselves so that he can have the run of the house,
but he hovers at the door and then eventually decides to go back out.

We've both been making a big fuss of him but whenever I go to stroke
him, he flattens his belly to the floor as if to get away from me. I
was bent over trying to stroke him, but when I stood up straight he
backed into a corner, ducked his neck down and flattened his ears,
looking very defensive.

Now the lady down the road has eight cats. Macavity is quite friendly
with all of her cats. I am assuming that, given he has no other signs
of illness or injury, he probably spent the night at her house, and
possibly got locked in by accident. Now once, a year ago (or so), one
of her cats came in through our catflap (which was on in-only) and spent
the night in our kitchen because he couldn't get out again. We
considered telling her, but didn't in the end. I don't think it was a
conscious decision - it probably just got forgetten about. Soooo... if
Macavity did end up at her house, I don't know if I have the right to
expect her to tell us.

Problem is, if she's feeding him, and he feels he's not getting
sufficient food from us (the vet has put him on a diet), might he run
away and live with her instead?

Should I approach her? I've spoken to her a few times so we're on
speaking terms. I'm sure she'd understand, being a cat owner herself...
but is it over-stepping the mark?

Thanks,
Katie

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wwwolf - 01 Apr 2005 03:02 GMT

> Should I approach her? I've spoken to her a few times so we're on
> speaking terms. I'm sure she'd understand, being a cat owner herself...
> but is it over-stepping the mark?
>
> Thanks,
> Katie

You seem certain that he is going over there. Does he have a collar on?

One of my cats can't stand new cats but he will eventually accept them and even
grooms them but it takes about 3-4 months. I would let the kits use a seperate
litter box until he accepts them. If you keep him inside, it will be sooner
rather than later.

But, don't try to pick him up if he thinks the other cats are near. He may just
mistankenly scratch you.

hth

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Satan's Little Helper - 01 Apr 2005 12:18 GMT

>But he's been acting a bit strangely since he came back. He doesn't
>seem to want to come into the house. We've tried putting the kittens
>away in a room by themselves so that he can have the run of the house,
>but he hovers at the door and then eventually decides to go back out.

We recently introduced our 9-year old lady to a 6-month old kitten
with pretty much the same results. She spent a lot of time out of the
house or just in a different room to the kitten even though we'd
initially kept the kitten in a separate room for her first few days
with us.

It did take quite a long time but eventually they reached some kind of
mutual understanding and are spending much more time together, often
just curled up sleeping side by side.

As far as the diet's concerned, if your cat wears a collar you could
try putting a little tag on it asking that people don't feed him
because he's on a special diet - I've done this in the past with a
diabetic cat who was on a restricted diet and constantly scrounged
from all the neighbours!

sin
Heaven doesn't want me, and Hell is afraid I'll take over

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223rem - 01 Apr 2005 14:39 GMT

> conscious decision - it probably just got forgetten about. Soooo... if
> Macavity did end up at her house, I don't know if I have the right to
[quoted text clipped - 10 lines]
> Thanks,
> Katie

Are you originally from a big city? People living in the
country are much friendlier and much closer to their neighbors
than big city folk.

Talk to her for Gods sake. She wont bite you.

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BC - 01 Apr 2005 15:20 GMT

> Hello all,
>
[quoted text clipped - 47 lines]
> Thanks,
> Katie

Hiya! Sorry to hear bout Macavity. I would definatly go and have a
quick word with the lady, just tell her Macavity went missing for a
while and would she have any idea where a cat may go missing to in the
local area, and could she perhaps keep an eye open for him.

Somebody else also suggested writing somewhere on his collar that he is
on a diet, sounds good to me.

From everything you have said in the past I wouldent have thought that
Ella and Lou are anything to do with him going for a wander, as I really
would have expected him to have gone missing when you first got them if
it upset him that much. He probably did just get locked in somewhere,
used to happen a lot to my old cat as he was a sucker for falling asleep
in warm places, had many trips to sainsburys in the back of my parents
car when I was little as he was too lazy and comfortable to move!

Does worry me a bit that he was acting so strange, almost as if
something bad has happened to him. Maybe you should keep him in for a
couple of days, him acting so strangely could be the result of a very
well hiden injury. Have you managed to pick him up and give him a
thorough examination?

Let us know how he is again, really hope he goes back to his old self soon.

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BC - 01 Apr 2005 15:20 GMT

> Hello all,
>
[quoted text clipped - 47 lines]
> Thanks,
> Katie

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BC - 01 Apr 2005 15:20 GMT

> Hello all,
>
[quoted text clipped - 47 lines]
> Thanks,
> Katie

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BC - 01 Apr 2005 15:25 GMT

> Hello all,
>
[quoted text clipped - 47 lines]
> Thanks,
> Katie

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Shadow Walker - 07 Apr 2005 19:03 GMT

> Hello all,

Hello

> I would appreciate some advice from you, as I'm really not sure what to
> do. This is long - sorry. :o)

Thats ok I'm long winded.

> Bit of background:
> We have a Tom cat, Macavity, who is now 2 years old. We also have Ella
> & Lou - two 7 month old kittens. Macavity has had his nose put out of
> joint a bit by the arrival of the kittens, but we hoped that as the
> kittens settled down a bit (and stopped mobbing him) he would come to
> accept them.

Deppends he may just learn to tolerate them.

> Last night he didn't come home. The catflap is open all the time as we
> live in the countryside, and there's little traffic. He doesn't use a
> litter tray anymore, so he needs it open to do the toilet.

He house broke himself to outside. Are the kittnes using the flap or a box?

> He eventually reappeared at about 3pm today - much to our relief. We'd
> been going frantic looking for him.
[quoted text clipped - 3 lines]
> away in a room by themselves so that he can have the run of the house,
> but he hovers at the door and then eventually decides to go back out.

Sound like he's giving you the cold shoulder. Mine do it. He will get over
it.

> We've both been making a big fuss of him but whenever I go to stroke
> him, he flattens his belly to the floor as if to get away from me. I
> was bent over trying to stroke him, but when I stood up straight he
> backed into a corner, ducked his neck down and flattened his ears,
> looking very defensive.

Sounds like he got attacked by something. Did you eventually get hold of him
and check him?

> Now the lady down the road has eight cats. Macavity is quite friendly
> with all of her cats. I am assuming that, given he has no other signs
[quoted text clipped - 6 lines]
> Macavity did end up at her house, I don't know if I have the right to
> expect her to tell us.

Not really, If you had it happen only once with her cat then it probably
won't happen with him again if he actually was locked in. You do need to ask
her though if she has seen any new wildlife and or dogs in the area.

> Problem is, if she's feeding him, and he feels he's not getting
> sufficient food from us (the vet has put him on a diet), might he run
[quoted text clipped - 6 lines]
> Thanks,
> Katie

I would just ask her about if she has seen any new wildlife and or stray
dogs and tell her your cat came back late and you wanted her to know incase
any of hers have had the same thing happen. Basically your concerned for all
the cats in the area and then work your way into what kinds of food you feed
yours and ask if any of hers are on special diets. Basically mention his
special diet without a bunch of hoopla. This may be all she needs to not
feed him.

It does sounds like he was cornered or treed by something.

Make sure he has tags on.

goodluck,

Shadow Walker

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FishWife - 08 Apr 2005 17:32 GMT

>> I would appreciate some advice from you, as I'm really not sure what to
>> do. This is long - sorry. :o)
>
>Thats ok I'm long winded.

Heh! Personally, I see nothing wrong with long posts, but some people
get upset by them.

By the way, there were a few other replies from people on here, but I
lost them before I got the chance to reply to them. Sooo.. I'll try and
update you all as much as I can while I reply to this one.

>> kittens settled down a bit (and stopped mobbing him) he would come to
>> accept them.
>
>Deppends he may just learn to tolerate them.

True, I think that's all we can hope for really. He's generally a very
tolerant cat - he copes well with visits to my sister-in-law's (who has
his brother plus another cat) - although I understand the difference
with it not being his terrority etc - and with neighbourhood cats. I
think he's just taking _this_ invasion more personally.

>> Last night he didn't come home. The catflap is open all the time as we
>> live in the countryside, and there's little traffic. He doesn't use a
>> litter tray anymore, so he needs it open to do the toilet.
>
>He house broke himself to outside. Are the kittnes using the flap or a box?

The kittens still use the litter tray. It hasn't occurred to them to do
the toilet outside yet. I think Macavity just prefers to do it outside
- we left a tray out for him that went unused for about six months.

>> But he's been acting a bit strangely since he came back. He doesn't
>> seem to want to come into the house. We've tried putting the kittens
[quoted text clipped - 3 lines]
>Sound like he's giving you the cold shoulder. Mine do it. He will get over
>it.

He seems to be getting better again. He's much less defensive around
them. They were all lying on the floor together the other evening.
We've also made a massive effort to make sure he knows that he's still
our "special kitten". He's the only one that gets to sleep on our bed
at night (actually, the other two trigger my asthma, so they have to be
kept out of the bedroom). We make a big fuss of him when he comes in.
The other night I stood at the front door for about an hour watching him
chase this mouse. It was lovely to see him so obviously enjoying
himself, and he seemed pleased to be putting on a show for Mummy. :o)
I made sure I gave him lots of praise. I do feel a bit sorry for the
local wildlife, and we've put a bell on his collar so they do get some
warning, but I'm of the opinion that that's nature, and it's what cats
do, and it'd be silly to try and stop him.

>> We've both been making a big fuss of him but whenever I go to stroke
>> him, he flattens his belly to the floor as if to get away from me. I
[quoted text clipped - 4 lines]
>Sounds like he got attacked by something. Did you eventually get hold of him
>and check him?

That's what occurred to me. We examined him thoroughly. The night I
posted this I went out with the torch and scoured the place looking for
him. When he saw me he came running up to me and followed me in the
house - seems he'd cheered up a bit. Once he was in and settled I gave
him a thorough examination now that he'd let me near him. No signs of
injury or illness of any kind. It's possible I just scared him by
standing up too quickly, or that he had been cornered by something but
had managed to escape. I just realised that the house two doors down
have a big greyhound.

>> conscious decision - it probably just got forgetten about. Soooo... if
>> Macavity did end up at her house, I don't know if I have the right to
[quoted text clipped - 3 lines]
>won't happen with him again if he actually was locked in. You do need to ask
>her though if she has seen any new wildlife and or dogs in the area.

I didn't go round in the end, but I might try and have a casual chat
with her if I bump into her. I shall ask her if she's seen anything.
She seems quite happy to let her young kittens roam around at all hours
of the night, so it's possible I'm barking up the wrong tree, so to
speak. :o)

Someone asked if I was from a big city - I'm not, but I do originally
come from a rough town. I'm sure there's nothing really to worry about
with this lady.

>> Should I approach her? I've spoken to her a few times so we're on
>> speaking terms. I'm sure she'd understand, being a cat owner herself...
>> but is it over-stepping the mark?

>I would just ask her about if she has seen any new wildlife and or stray
>dogs and tell her your cat came back late and you wanted her to know incase
[quoted text clipped - 3 lines]
>special diet without a bunch of hoopla. This may be all she needs to not
>feed him.

That sounds very sensible - thanks. Best to have a general chit-chat
with her rather than run the risk of her feeling that I'm accusing her,
which is what I was at pains to avoid.

>Make sure he has tags on.

Absolutely, he's microchipped, but also has a collar with his name,
address and phone number on a tag. Well.. *Our* address and phone
number, strictly speaking, I'd be hellish surprised if Macavity picked
up the phone. <G>

>goodluck,

Thank you!

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