Hi J,

Oh, this is so sad for you, but especially for TJ just now.  He needs lots
and lots of your company, reassurance and intensive play.  Utterly spoil
him.  Talk about Gris with him, too, and try and explain that Gris can't
come back.  Tell him you miss Gris too.  A cat of mine, Shandy, died after
19 years living with Tiggypuss, who was 20 at the time.  I totally became
Tiggy's 'cat' companion by playing and play-fighting with him.  He
undoubtedly  missed Shandy (he searched and sniffed for her, and seemed
puzzled and withdrawn), and went through a grieving period of a few weeks,
but because I went out of my way to fill the void, he cheered up relatively
quickly.  Once he realised he was 'king of the heap' and had a loving
companion too, he purred like he'd never purred before and became even more
devoted to me than ever.  Tiggy was too old for me to consider introducing
another cat, but TJ may very well come round to it - but only once he's past
the grief period.  If you do introduce another cat, be careful not to break
his heart again by reducing your attention to him. I doubt that you will,
you seem really caring, but it's so easy to hurt those little furry
feelings!  The next few months are going to be hard work for you because all
'your' time will now be all 'his' time.

With my cats (throughout their lives, not just during grief or illness), I
have always told them if I'm going out and that I won't be long .. or that I
WILL be longer than usual.  This gives them so much reassurance and builds
their trust in you.  If I've been away a long time, I give them a huge
cuddle when I come back and tell them I've missed them.  Yes, it sounds
daft, but you should hear the purring!  TJ needs this sort of attention from
you just now, so that he knows he's not going to lose another friend.

You both have my deep sympathy for the loss of your special friend.  Give TJ
all your love and he'll return it 100 per cent.
Regards,
Spider