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Cats and kittens

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batty - 19 Jun 2008 23:19 GMT
Hello, am at my wits end so please any advice would be most welcome.

I have 2 adult cats - who occasionally spit and hiss at each other but for
the most part tolerate each other well.  Recently - 2 weeks ago I was given 2,
8 week old kittens.  I did the usual things - different rooms, food, mixed up
bedding etc - the usual kind of things.  At first lots of hissing and
spitting but gradually things improved - but now, my 14 month old cat Lilli
has started 'bullying' the kittens.  I usually get the kittens out to play
when the adults aren't around,but, when they turn up I always make a great
fuss of them so as not to let them feel left out.

I know that it is only 2 weeks, but if this is the sign of things to come
then I might have to let the kittens go to another home - and it is breaking
my heart to even think about doing it.

Please help my kittens!!!

Thanks :-)
William Graham - 20 Jun 2008 07:12 GMT
> Hello, am at my wits end so please any advice would be most welcome.
>
[quoted text clipped - 18 lines]
>
> Thanks :-)

I have 5 cats....They all had problems when they were first introduced to
the others. I simply yelled at both of them, and clapped my hands together
and scared them out of the room elsewhere whenever they showed signs of
fighting. - Pretty soon, they realized that I didn't like it, and it wasn't
worth it, so they learned to get along. Now, they seldom hiss at one
another, and sometimes they even play together. Your kittens will grow up
fast.....In a few weeks they will be large enough to take care of
themselves. In the meantime, let them all know that you won't put up with
them fighting with one another.......
batty - 20 Jun 2008 09:05 GMT
Thank you for replying - I have raised my voice several times and then felt
guilty - like being a new mum again!!!  I will try and be rather more
forceful on the one hand and then with the other praise when good things are
done :-) CHeers

>> Hello, am at my wits end so please any advice would be most welcome.
>>
[quoted text clipped - 11 lines]
>themselves. In the meantime, let them all know that you won't put up with
>them fighting with one another.......
Riannon - 20 Jun 2008 20:25 GMT
>I have 2 adult cats - who occasionally spit and hiss at each other but for
>the most part tolerate each other well.  Recently - 2 weeks ago I was given 2,
>8 week old kittens.  I did the usual things - different rooms, food, mixed up

I have 3 - the latest was a kitten when he came here 10 yrs ago and the other
two were 6 yrs at the time.  They hated the new kitten and would hiss and
avoid him or give him a smack or two.  Now they have all learned to tolerate
each other but it took quite awhile.  They may never be "friends" and sleep
cuddled up together; being able to tolerate each other is about the most you
may get but there's nothing wrong with that.  You need much more time than 2
weeks; eventually Lilli will calm down and realize the kittens are there to
stay.  If it's any consolation, my guys have been living together for almost
10 yrs and they still hiss once in awhile.  I wouldn't start yelling at them -
can cause stress for the adults and they are already under enough stress with
the new additions; just clap your hands if they start to fight or you could
try "growling"; it actually works - mama cat growls at her kittens when she's
mad at them so they associate you growling with that.  

Riannon

PS  Don't forget you will need 3 or 4 litter boxes for 4 cats
batty - 20 Jun 2008 20:37 GMT
Thanks Rainnon, all suggestions are most welcome!  I realised that I'd need
more than a couple of weeks, but just concerned that the little ones would be
hurt, but what I did today again was to fuss the older cats, play with them
more than the kittens and hissed once at them when they were rather rough -
but I will try the growling.

They did tolerate the kittens being fed in the same room though and that is
another small land mark - however long it lasts!

My older cats don't use litter trays, but I did let them into the utility
room to have a look around and absorb the various smells.

So hopefully a peace will eventually ensue.  Will try the growling -
certainly wouldn't punish them for doing it - after all as you said the
kittens are the 'intruders'.

Thanks again

Batty
>>I have 2 adult cats - who occasionally spit and hiss at each other but for
>>the most part tolerate each other well.  Recently - 2 weeks ago I was given 2,
[quoted text clipped - 17 lines]
>
>PS  Don't forget you will need 3 or 4 litter boxes for 4 cats
Tracy101 - 21 Jun 2008 07:29 GMT
Why do people do this?  Cats are like people.    Some personality types
simply don't like other personality types.  If you're going to get more than
one cat, you might be better off getting one of the same breed (or you might
call it race) as the first one for a better chance of acceptance.

It's a good idea to try the new cat out for a couple of weeks first as well,
to see if they will get along.  Remember, the first cat thinks the house
belongs to him/her.  Other cats are intruders.

Note also that two female cats tend to get along with each other overall
better than a male and female (because even fixed males will bother females
to no end sexually)
and better than two males (because males are both possessive and want
domination).

Also, older cats feel threatened by kittens, (including their own) after a
few weeks.   They are fearful that you will show preference to the kittens
(which usually is the case) and shortly get rid of them.    It's also
irritating to their nerves to have the young little pranksters jumping
around all the time.    You probably won't like that either when you are
old.  Older cats also tend to prefer homes that are more quiet and where
they can do their own thing in peace.  They want basically what exactly what
most older people want.

As a person who once owned 6 cats, I can tell you that that's far too many.
No home should have more than two at very most.  Owners should also be
prepared to keep and love those cats for 20 years or so, because it's really
hard for an older cat to adjust when it's simply shoved into a new home
again.  This can be terrifying and very upsetting for them.
____________________________________________

> Hello, am at my wits end so please any advice would be most welcome.
>
[quoted text clipped - 18 lines]
>
> Thanks :-)
batty - 21 Jun 2008 10:41 GMT
Hello Tracy, why do people do what?  I realise that all animals are different
and that is why I asked for help to bring my cats together as best I could.
I know some of the 'tricks' but just thought that there might be methods that
I hadn't thought about and have been most grateful to receive - after all
nobody knows everything.

All my cats are 'moggies'

My older cats are 13/14 months and the other adult is possibly 3/4 - both
from a shelter.  The kittens were either to be taken in by myself or put to
sleep.  Hardly an option when there was nothing wrong with them.

I full expect all my pets to live to a great age - and have recently lost a
cat that lived to be 19.  Have never taken on animals lightly - they deserve
a good quality of life and if I couldn't, then I wouldn't.

I have plenty of room for four cats, they are all she cats, 2 have been
spayed and the kittens will be when they are old enough.  The two older cats
(from choice) spend a lot of time outside.  Where they were rescued from in
the first place.

No cat is going to get on well with another after just a couple of weeks - it
does take time and I certainly don't expect miracles - just any information
to ease the transition for everyone concerned.

Thanks for your comments.

Batty

>Why do people do this?  Cats are like people.    Some personality types
>simply don't like other personality types.  If you're going to get more than
[quoted text clipped - 32 lines]
>>
>> Thanks :-)
Matthew - 21 Jun 2008 11:02 GMT
> Why do people do this?  Cats are like people.    Some personality types
> simply don't like other personality types.  If you're going to get more
> than one cat, you might be better off getting one of the same breed (or
> you might call it race) as the first one for a better chance of
> acceptance.

NO true         yes there are cats that are one cat household personalities
but they would have shown signs before this

> It's a good idea to try the new cat out for a couple of weeks first as
> well, to see if they will get along.  Remember, the first cat thinks the
[quoted text clipped - 21 lines]
> home again.  This can be terrifying and very upsetting for them.
> ____________________________________________

Please you have no right or even professional backing to say that no more
than two.  Just because that is your way doesn't even mean it is close to
being right.  I have been proudly owned by 11 in one house before and would
gladly have twenty if I could afford them.  So you can blow that right out
your a.s since this is your first post here but you did get the rest partly
right except for the two part.  there are people on here that will blow that
out of the water very quickly.  You were trying do something right but
before you talk do a little research first

I am proudly owned by 5 right now it was 6 but lost one to the pet food
recall

As for the other poster it takes time  you must gradually introduce them to
one another  here is some information for a real source
http://www.maxshouse.com/introducing_cats.htm
batty - 21 Jun 2008 11:38 GMT
HI Matthew - I started the original thread.  I'd looked on the internet, but
thoughts seemed to vary but am open to all suggestions so thank you for the
site that you've highlighed.  Funny thing is that I've just fed one of the
adults and Mia (kitten) decided to venture into the kitchen - I waited for
there to be a hissing and a spitting - but there was nothing!  Amazing - so I
know that this is only a small step but it is a step.  I usually feed them in
different rooms, gradually moving the bowls closer together, but this was
totally unexpected - and a delight.  However, there is no way that I'd leave
them together!!!  

I will admit that I'd love more cats, but 4 is enough for me - I couldn't
afford anymore, although I have got them insured.  Again, some people might
think this is a waste of money, but had my daughter not had her cat insured
then she'd have had a £2700 - yes that's correct - medical bill!
Unfortunately the little chap died.  So sad.

:-)
>> Why do people do this?  Cats are like people.    Some personality types
[quoted text clipped - 27 lines]
>one another  here is some information for a real source
>http://www.maxshouse.com/introducing_cats.htm
batty - 21 Jun 2008 11:47 GMT
Hi Matthew - have just had a quick look at the site - brilliant.  Wish that
I'd seen it before then I wouldn't have been so worried that what I was doing
was incorrect.  Maybe just instinct made me do most of what has been written
in the article - in maybe a slightly different way, but is comforting to know
that all behaviours are 'normal'

HAve just read the article on declawing - how barbaric - can't believe that
people would do that unless for medical reasons.  Be like us having our toes
and fingers cut off!

Have a good day and thanks :-)
>> Why do people do this?  Cats are like people.    Some personality types
>> simply don't like other personality types.  If you're going to get more
[quoted text clipped - 26 lines]
>one another  here is some information for a real source
>http://www.maxshouse.com/introducing_cats.htm
tension_on_the_wire - 26 Jun 2008 04:09 GMT
> Hello, am at my wits end so please any advice would be most welcome.
>
[quoted text clipped - 14 lines]
>
> Thanks :-)

You've gotten lots of suggestions which are all potentially valid.  I
just wanted to add one thing.  Sometimes, cats need to work out their
own politics, and our interference is not always welcome.  As long as
you are there in the background to defuse any potentially dangerous
situation for the little ones, you might want to sit back and watch
them work out their own pecking order.  They have rules and
communications we do not always understand and if we stay out of the
way, they can sometimes settle themselves much more quickly.  I have
seen this work several times.  Other times, we need to mediate, but if
nothing else works, you might want to step back and see if they can
work it out.  As I said, always staying close enough for a quick
rescue of a kitten just in case it gets nasty.

I have used this method for 24 years and it has not failed yet.  The
other thing I do is give each and every cat total coddling whenever I
get one in a room by himself, without the others to see or get
jealous, so that they are each still secure in my affections.  It has
even worked with my current pair, one of which was 13 years old when
the other was acquired as a new kitten and severe jealousy ensued.  At
first, it was the kitten in jeopardy, and then when he grew into a 16
pound man'o'war, it became the fragile old lady cat who was
vulnerable.  But now they have a nice parallel existence and even
vacate my lap for the other when the rival comes in the room.  All
civil and courteous now but what a war zone it was in the first
months!

Good luck

--tension
batty - 26 Jun 2008 12:28 GMT
Hi Tension, thank you very much for taking the time to reply.

Now that the kittens are a little older - well 10.5 weeks I am trying to
stand back and just intervening when absolutely necessary - as you say - they
have to learn the pecking order.  

I keep them apart at night time - I keep my adult cats in at night - but they
have the run of the house and until I am sure that there isn't going to be
any 'violence' then that's the way that it will stay.

There is slightly more tolerance appearing but I will still be there until
relative peace is the norm!!!

Was funny the other day in that an adult cat was 'attacking' a kitten and
when I raised my voice slightly - she stopped trying to bite and started
cleaning - as thought to say 'what's the fuss mum'!!  Took that as a good
sign, but not good enough yet!

Despite all the 'trouble' that ensues, I wouldn't have it any other way as
they are such a joy to have.  Four cats is enough - that is until someone
comes alone with a...Lucy, this cat needs an new home......

Thanks again.

>> Hello, am at my wits end so please any advice would be most welcome.
>>
[quoted text clipped - 31 lines]
>
>--tension
batty - 19 Jul 2008 12:37 GMT
Hi T - thanks for your comments.  Maybe I am fortunate in that my 4 cats have
settled and are happy and adjusted.  They all have individual time and play
time together with me.  Non of them are spoiled.  The adult cats seem to
enjoy the kittens and indeed spend hours grooming them which I understand is
important to them all.

As for people having no more than two cats so that they can have 100%
attention - that is mathematically impossible.  They could only have 50%...

>Hi Tension, thank you very much for taking the time to reply.
>
[quoted text clipped - 25 lines]
>>
>>--tension
Tracy101 - 19 Jul 2008 12:25 GMT
I once ran into that situation and when the kittens grew up, the reverse was
true -- they got even and it was the mother who was constantly running.
Animals are so much like humans it's unbelievable.

Mothers often get upset with their kittens just as mothers do with their
kids, especially when they reach the teen years.  Then it can be unbearable
for both of them.

People should never own more than a couple of cats at most.  Cats love
nothing more in the world than to be on the receiving end of 100% of their
owner's TOTAL ATTENTION.  So many people think they get lonely like people.
A VERY FEW may, but the great majority don't like competition of any sort.
They want to be the ONLY spoiled brat.

Usually when people have more than one cat, there will indeed be domination
problems, fighting, jealousy, and so on, just like when they have more than
one child.   Generally the animal who is the most dominant is happiest,
while those who are ruled by the dominant one are less happy and feel used
and abused  -- same as with humans..

_____________________________-

On Jun 19, 3:19 pm, "batty" <u44344@uwe> wrote:
> Hello, am at my wits end so please any advice would be most welcome.
>
[quoted text clipped - 18 lines]
>
> Thanks :-)

You've gotten lots of suggestions which are all potentially valid.  I
just wanted to add one thing.  Sometimes, cats need to work out their
own politics, and our interference is not always welcome.  As long as
you are there in the background to defuse any potentially dangerous
situation for the little ones, you might want to sit back and watch
them work out their own pecking order.  They have rules and
communications we do not always understand and if we stay out of the
way, they can sometimes settle themselves much more quickly.  I have
seen this work several times.  Other times, we need to mediate, but if
nothing else works, you might want to step back and see if they can
work it out.  As I said, always staying close enough for a quick
rescue of a kitten just in case it gets nasty.

I have used this method for 24 years and it has not failed yet.  The
other thing I do is give each and every cat total coddling whenever I
get one in a room by himself, without the others to see or get
jealous, so that they are each still secure in my affections.  It has
even worked with my current pair, one of which was 13 years old when
the other was acquired as a new kitten and severe jealousy ensued.  At
first, it was the kitten in jeopardy, and then when he grew into a 16
pound man'o'war, it became the fragile old lady cat who was
vulnerable.  But now they have a nice parallel existence and even
vacate my lap for the other when the rival comes in the room.  All
civil and courteous now but what a war zone it was in the first
months!

Good luck

--tension
 
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