Per Sparrow:

That's ok for the average person, but as a computer application
developer (which can be extremely stressful at times), I've come
around to:

Dieting Under Stress:
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This diet is especially designed to help you cope with the stress
than builds up during the average workday.

Breakfast
- 1/2 grapefruit
- 1 slice whole-wheat toast, dry
- 8 oz skim milk

Lunch
- 4 oz lean broiled chicken breast
- 1 cup steamed spinach
- 1 cup herb tea
- 1 Oreo cookie

Midafternoon Snack
- All remaining Oreo cookies
- 2 pints rocky road ice cream w/nuts, cherries, & whipped cream
- 1 jar hot fudge sauce

Dinner
- 2 loaves garlic bread with cheese
- 1 large sausage, mushroom, & cheese pizza
- 4 cans (or 1 large pitcher) of beer
- 3 Milky Way or Snickers bars

Late Evening Snack
- 1 entire frozen Sara Lee cheesecake eaten directly from freezer

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Rules For This Diet
• If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no
calories.

• If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the
candy bar are cancelled out by the diet soda.

• When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you
don't eat more than they do.

• Foods for medicinal purposes (such as hot chocolate, brandy,
and iced cream NEVER count.

• Movie-related foods such as Milk Duds, Buttered Popcorn, Junior
Mints, Red Hots, and Tootsie Rolls do not have additional
calories because they are part of the entire entertainment
package and not part of one's personal fuel.

• Cookie pieces contain no calories.  The process of breaking
causes calorie leakage.

• Things licked off of knives, spoons, and mixing utensils have
no calories if you are in the process of preparing something.
Examples: peanut butter on a knife being used to make a sandwich
or ice cream on a spoon being used to make a sundae.

• Foods that have the same color have the same number of
calories.  Examples are spinach and pistachio ice cream,
mushrooms and white chocolate.  Chocolate is a universal color
and may be substituted for any other food color.
===========================================================================

Is that like "I only f.ck fatties" type dating?