I think there is hope.  It usually takes cats a little while to warm
up to each other.  Continue to introduce the kitties to each other,
just make sure it is supervised.  My parents have a cat a lot like
Nova--then they adopted a little black kitten--Maggie hissed and spit
and swatted the little fellow, but eventually came around.  They are
now very good companions for each other.

As far as getting away--why not leave Nova at the vet's when you take
a trip.  There, she will be cared for, and if she gets sick, well she
is in a good place--they will be able to take care of her.  Maybe
start by taking a long weekend trip (gone about 3 or 4 days) to see
how she does.

Good luck.  Sounds like you've got a good cat, but one that has some
issues/baggage from her earlier life.

Try posting this on rec. pets.cats.health+behavior.

Much more traffic there, and some very good people. (Also a lot of
crackpots, but you can sort it out: if it sound crazy, ignore it).

My killfile for that group is large....

Bless you for saving the babies, and spending the time and money to help
make them adoptable.

One of my favorite quotes:

How you behave towards cats here below determines your status in Heaven.
- Robert Heinlein (Yes, the SF author).

Good luck.

Oh, I think there is *much* hope. Kittens are much more easily
accepted than older cats.
If you're patient, and keep the kittens separated from Nova much of
the time, allowing
only supervised occasional visits, she'll accept them. They may or may
not ever
be her "best friends", but she'll learn to tolerate them. I'd leave
the kittens completely separated
from her at least two or three weeks, and not even allow her contact
with them. She knows they
are there. And give her extra attention during the whole process.
Bless you for helping the little mites. My cats have had so many
temporary interlopers they
hardly even notice one now. But in the beginning, they were also
hostile like Nova.

Sherry

I posted a response to this previously on rec.pets.cats.health+
behavior, but apparently it didn't get through, so I'll try again here.

Clever. She's discovered that whenever she wants your presence for
whatever reason, the sure way to get it is to go to the bowl and ask for
food; after all, you're not just gonna let her stand there and starve.
And she's learned that if she keeps it up long enough, eventually you'll
show up.

Reinforce the rule that food is the only thing Nova is allowed to ask
for at her food dish. Try this: Whenever she's meowing and whining at
her dish, go over, pick her up and carry her away from it, and put her
on the other side of the room. Then see what she does. If she goes back
to her dish, then give her some food. If she doesn't, she wasn't hungry.

Of course, she might go back and not eat; that's also a possibility. In
that case, whenever she's meowing at her dish, give her food, then walk
away; don't wait. Naturally, this will be less wasteful if you've been
giving her dry food.

Dry food can also solve the problem in and of itself. If she's got
plenty in her bowl already, there should be no reason for her to ask for
food. So let her meow there and don't respond. It'll probably drive you
nuts, since it's likely she'll be there making demands for who knows how
long. She's already learned that you'll come running if she carries on
long enough. All you can do is outlast her.

She's the queen of the house, all right. She's emotionally
dependent--and controlling--toward you and your wife. Following you
around might be her way of letting you know not just that she values
your company, but that she needs, expects and requires it, and won't let
you deprive her of it, no matter how much "me time" away from her you
might need. (The whole food dish rigamarole is part of this as well.)

However, there's another, quite valid, way to view this. Humans give
cats the same things they get from their mother cat as kittens: food,
warmth, security, affection, comfort, companionship, fulfillment of
personal needs. Because of this, cat usually regard the people in their
environment as surrogate mother cats, and behave toward them
accordingly. This is the reason adult cats will perform kittenish
behaviors around their companion humans that they wouldn't do as
independent adults in the wild. Kneading and, BION, meowing are the two
most common. Kittens meow for their mother; once weaned and independent,
they cease. Kits also knead their mother's belly to stimulate the flow
of milk; that behavior is repeated around the people they associate with
daily, but never apart from that. So you could also take her shadowing
you as another regression behavior--she's following you just as kittens
follow their mother. (Again, the food dish issue can be taken in this
light.)

Not all cats are slopping over with affection for people. As a survival
measure, this is a good thing for them; it keeps them at bay from
potential harm. Remember, humans are the natural enemy of every animal
species on the planet, including themselves. So it's not unusual to have
a cat who's wary of people in general save for the one(s) it lives with.
Normally this is a trait taught by the mother cat during early
kittenhood. Nova might have already learned that to a certain degree by
the time you took her in.

As well, not all cats are attuned to long routines of petting and
cuddling. Many felines will enjoy a certain amount of it, then become
anxious and tell their companion person to knock it off. As innately
independent creatures, cats sometimes don't like feeling *too* cozy for
too long. With some of them, when they start to sense they're getting
too much of a good thing, it begins to unnerve them, that they're
getting to a level of bliss that threatens to compromise their instinct
to remain on the alert during their waking hours. So they decide they've
had enough, and let the person know it's time to call it quits.

FWIW, Nova actually seems to trust you on a level that many cats
wouldn't allow, by not just letting you, but actually wanting you, to
rub her tummy. Cats, as is true of many other animals, are very
protective of their quite vulnerable underbelly. A degree of trust is
shown if a cat exposes its belly to you. A higher degree is displayed if
the cat tolerates you touching or stroking that area. But asking for and
enjoying having you rub it--that's the jackpot of a cat's trust toward a
person.

As for Nova's Jekyll-and-Hyde attitude toward your wife--hissing at her,
then immediately turning affectionate--is something I've seen before. My
ex-wife's cat Moses did to me several times daily. He see me, hiss, then
come over and rub up against me. Yeah, it's confusing. I just put it off
as his way of saying, "I'm the King, and don't forget it, puny mortal!
Oh, and by the way, I love you a whole big bunch." (He also did that to
our cocker spaniel Lucie. He walk up to her, hiss right in her face,
then start licking her muzzle.) So as long as hissing is the only
aggression Nova displays to your wife, and if it's routinely followed by
a display of affection, I'd consider it small potatoes, although it
certainly is befuddling.

<>Well, yeah, Nova is one eccentric cat, no doubt. Over on alt.cats,
someone brought up the idea of boarding her with a vet for several days
while the two of you take a long vacation, and seeing how she handles
it. When you get back, if you find out she at least ate while she was
boarded, that might be encouragement enough to have her boarded for a
longer period in the future so you and your wife can have a proper vacation.

If Nova presents problems that even the vet couldn't deal with, it's
time to consult with a feline behaviorist or psychologist. I know you're
both devoted to Nova, and that's a very good thing. But you can't let
that devotion and care and concern become the axis around which your
marriage is forced to turn. Nor should the two of you become driven to
be forced to choose whether your cat or your marital relationship is of
higher importance. Nova's behavior is what needs correcting. Find
someone who specializes in that field, or at least find all the
information you can on how to modify feline behavior. You and your wife
have done a lot for Nova. But you're husband and wife, and you deserve
time to yourselves.

Re this situation, Sherry's advice to you over on alt.cats is sound, and
what I too recommend. Be aware that it could take quite some
time--months, even--until Nova acclimates to the kits. Length of time is
dependent on the temperament of the individual cat. And obviously, Nova
is quite a bundle to deal with in the temperament category.

HTH. Please let me know how things work out for you.