Feeling odd about getting a second kitten.

Thread view:

Enable EMail Alerts

Start New Thread

Thread rating:

Glyph - 13 Jul 2003 03:11 GMT

Just got a call from my husband at work, saying that he made a
delivery to a woman giving away kittens for free. He was all sorts of
excited, though we'd have to wait two weeks before they're ready to
leave (they're 6 weeks). Tabby, like our cat (who is 1 year), except
grey where our cat is white.

Now I've been talking lately with him about getting a second cat,
though when I'm back working, since I figure Ceaite will be a little
lonesome with us both out of the apartment. I didn't figure that we'd
be getting one *now*!

I think I'm a little resentful towards the owner too for being rather
unresponsible with her she-cat and looking to others to take care of
the kittens, though she is keeping one of them. I'm feeling kinda
guilted into this, since I want to make sure that the kittens have a
good home, even though I've never seen them. (For clarification: we'd
only take one of the four kittens; lease only covers two pets. :) )
I'm also sorta irritated in a way that I can only describe in
child-rearing terms: 'The first one's just gotten out of childhood,
and another baby is on the way? Good grief!'

And I'm feeling guilty for not getting a kitten from the pound or
Buddy Center (non-profit local adoptation center), even though
head-wise I know that's where these kittens will end up without an
immediate outside adoption.

Am I odd for having feelings like this when my husband is just about
leaping around in excitment (since Ceaite has decided that I am her
human, I think he just wants a cat to own him exclusively like his old
one did/does (Weasel's at his parents' house)!)? Am I just being more
pragmatic than emotional? I already know that I'll fall in love as
soon as I see it. :) I'm a sucker for animals.

Here's a question as I'm making up a list of things we'll need with a
new addition: do I need a second brush or are cats generally okay
about sharing a brush?

Thanks for reading my little emotional release on adopting a second
kitten. :)
Glyph

prickme2@_NO_SPAM_hotmail.com
http://glyphworks.crimsonblog.com
http://mundanechaos.keenspace.com

Reply to this Message

Karen Chuplis - 13 Jul 2003 04:46 GMT

> Just got a call from my husband at work, saying that he made a
> delivery to a woman giving away kittens for free. He was all sorts of
[quoted text clipped - 40 lines]
> http://glyphworks.crimsonblog.com
> http://mundanechaos.keenspace.com

You'll be OK. It's his find. The kitten needs a home. Let him have his fun

You won't need another brush.

Karen

Reply to this Message

Agua Girl - 13 Jul 2003 05:12 GMT

> Just got a call from my husband at work, saying that he made a
> delivery to a woman giving away kittens for free. He was all sorts of
[quoted text clipped - 36 lines]
> kitten. :)
> Glyph

I don't think your feelings are out of the ordinary at all. I too am a
sucker
for animals but now is a bad time for me emotionally, physically and
financially.
I was ticked about having to take in little bit even though I enjoyed it.
Particularly since the kittens captured my heart and now I am sad about
giving them up. Now, my friggin neighbors daughter (grew up next door
to me) has brought home this little puppy. She is in an apartment, can't
keep it, she took it to her mom hoping her mom would keep it for the
kids when they visit and of course her psycho mom said no. I can hear
the puppy over there crying and I suspect the mom reprimanded the
puppy by swatting it. You just KNOW I am going to have to find a way
to take it in until I get it to an adoption center. Another out of pocket
trip
to the vet that I can't afford, and another couple of days running around
trying to place it. It's totally normal to be angry at these people and
it's
normal to resent the added infringement on your time and energy. And your
right..as soon as that little kitty enters your life you are going to forget
why
you had mixed emotions about it. A least you can allow yourself to become
attached. :-) I went and visited my fosters at the adoption place today.
Diva (the white one) and Pounce (the Siamese looking male) were already
gone. I was really really sad. They found good homes..I should be
thrilled.

sigh.

You people who foster all the time are my hero's. Don't know how you do it.

AG

Reply to this Message

M.C. Mullen - 13 Jul 2003 09:05 GMT

| pragmatic than emotional? I already know that I'll fall in love as
| soon as I see it. :) I'm a sucker for animals.
[quoted text clipped - 6 lines]
| kitten. :)
| Glyph

So funny...you're already working out the *practical* side of having the new
kitten ;-)

Your feelings are understandable and good, because deep down you know that
adopting this kitten will be a lifelong commitment. You don't react quickly
out of a passing mood.
It might be a good idea to get the kitten now. Your other cat is still young
enough to make friends with it.
One question: Could you not leave the kitten with its mother until it's 12
weeks old?

Good luck

Carola

Reply to this Message

Glyph - 13 Jul 2003 17:04 GMT

On Sun, 13 Jul 2003 10:05:46 +0200, "M.C. Mullen"
<mcmullen@freesurf.invalid.ch> tossed a golden coin into a well and
made a fervent wish:

>So funny...you're already working out the *practical* side of having the new
>kitten ;-)
[quoted text clipped - 10 lines]
>
>Carola

Nope, these people apparently want the kittens gone at 8 weeks
(optimal cuteness time, I suppose). I only hope that it's to spay
momma cat. I very sure that Ceaite will love having a little playmate;
we inherited a couch from husband's parents (have 3 cats) and Ceaite
spent a good three days with her nose deep in the cushions, tail
happily waving in the air. I think she wanted them to get out from
hiding in the couch and play. :)

An update: Husband now realizes the cruel reality of kittenhood: "You
mean we're going to have the arm-scratching, toe-chasing period
again?"

Glyph

prickme2@_NO_SPAM_hotmail.com
http://glyphworks.crimsonblog.com
http://mundanechaos.keenspace.com

Reply to this Message

M.C. Mullen - 14 Jul 2003 06:22 GMT

Yes, but they're sooo sweet! And they grow up so quickly.

About the toe-chasing: Tommy is nearly a year old but still does it.
Sometimes I get a pawful of claws or a mouthful of teeth stuck into my feet
very early in the morning, meaning:
"I've had a busy day and I'm just back from a long night observing the area.
Where's my breakfast? Why do you people have to sleep in a bed for so
long <groan>?"
Thankfully he doesn't climb up bare legs or tights anymore :-)

Carola

Reply to this Message

Glyph - 14 Jul 2003 07:04 GMT

On Mon, 14 Jul 2003 07:22:00 +0200, "M.C. Mullen"
<mcmullen@freesurf.invalid.ch> tossed a golden coin into a well and
made a fervent wish:

>Yes, but they're sooo sweet! And they grow up so quickly.
>
[quoted text clipped - 7 lines]
>
>Carola

Ceaite will occasionally do the "jump-on-the-toes!" game when she
knows we're awake in the bed, and it's just her way of asking if we'll
get up and play. If we ignore it, she takes it as no and walks off or
lies down on the carpet to take a nap, as we obviously must be sleepy
not to get up and play right now.

Oddly enough, I think she learned from me curling my fingers like a
paw when playing hide 'n seek (she runs off, slowly creeps back to
touch me on the hand as 'tag', or I touch her on the paw) that it's
okay to touch skin, but not with claws out. So toes are pretty safe
now, except for being pounced on. :)

Glyph

prickme2@_NO_SPAM_hotmail.com
http://glyphworks.crimsonblog.com
http://mundanechaos.keenspace.com

Reply to this Message

Ted Davis - 13 Jul 2003 18:48 GMT

Sounds to me like you are upset that your husband made the move
without including you, without giving you a chance to pick out your
own kitten.

Taking a kitten before it goes to the pound just save you the adoption
fee and the hassle associated with the pound adoption process. You
still have to pay for neutering, shots, etc., but you already expect
that. Here, adopting from the pound costs all that, plus $25, and
since $25 represents about six weeks worth of food for my dozen cats,
I'd rather not pay it.

T.E.D. (tdavis@gearbox.maem.umr.edu - e-mail must contain "T.E.D." or my .sig in the body)

Reply to this Message

k - 13 Jul 2003 23:16 GMT

> Just got a call from my husband at work, saying that he made a
> delivery to a woman giving away kittens for free. He was all sorts of
> excited,

Well, nice he is "excited" -- as long as he ends up bearing
50% of the responsibility for raising the youngster of course.

> Now I've been talking lately with him about getting a second cat,
> though when I'm back working, since I figure Ceaite will be a little
> lonesome with us both out of the apartment. I didn't figure that we'd
> be getting one *now*!

Unexpected family additions aren't uncommon.
At least you aren't pregnant:-)

Have to wonder, when would be a good time?
You say you are going back to work etc, the existing cat is
going to be alone. Would 3 months, or 6 months from now
*really* be better?

> I think I'm a little resentful towards the owner too for being rather
> unresponsible with her she-cat

That's not uncommon.
You wouldn't think it takes more than a couple flickering
braincells for someone to recognize there are millions of
animals who will never have a home, and it IS their responsibility
not to add to the problem. However, I don't see how that
would affect anyone in their decision whether to adopt, or not.

>'m feeling kinda
> guilted into this, since I want to make sure that the kittens have a
> good home, even though I've never seen them.
> I'm also sorta irritated in a way that I can only describe in
> child-rearing terms: 'The first one's just gotten out of childhood,
> and another baby is on the way? Good grief!'

For the kitten's sake, you need to be able to embrace and enjoy
the experience, or it isn't the right time.

> And I'm feeling guilty for not getting a kitten from the pound or
> Buddy Center (non-profit local adoptation center), even though
> head-wise I know that's where these kittens will end up without an
> immediate outside adoption.

You know you really bounce through a lot of ground.
"Good grief the first one just got out of childhood"
to this now... and the "reason" you attribute to your husband...

If this was really an issue, you could simply put your name
in reserve on the kitten your husband found, and if it was
going to end up without a home, take it then. Otherwise,
if it found another home, you'd be free to adopt from
a shelter.

> Am I odd for having feelings like this when my husband is just about
> leaping around in excitment (since Ceaite has decided that I am her
> human, I think he just wants a cat to own him exclusively like his old
> one did/does (Weasel's at his parents' house)!)?

Well I certainly hope that isn't his reason, as there is certainly
NO guarantee that will be the case. Odds would favor it wouldn't
be the case. What happened to adding a cat for the sake of the
existing cat.

>> I just being more pragmatic than emotional?

Definitely seems you are being emotional, not pragmatic.

Will you both love it, no matter who it does/doesn't bond with?
If it breaks your favorite possessions and shreds your best furniture?
all in the process of kittenhood....
Or are you going to be "resentful" etc....

Do what is right for the animals, not the people...

Reply to this Message