Kathy   my heart goes out to you  I wish I could help with the pain
You have hugs purrs and my prayers from my fur crowd going out to you

Kathy, I understand what you are feeling.  In this case, I really have
"walked in your shoes."  I felt the same way after my first cat died, at the
age of 20.  I went for several weeks without a cat after I had to have him
euthanized because I, too, had decided not to go through that again.  I
missed him terribly.  As time went on, I finally realized that I really
*needed* a cat in my life, and as I thought about it I also began to realize
that the pleasure he brought to me *more* than compensated for the pain of
his loss.  Finally -- and I must admit that this only came later -- I
thought about all the little cats who would lose their lives because no one
would adopt.  So, I changed my mind and adopted, and I have never regretted
it.  I *still* love my first cat (and those who came later).  I still think
about him and keep his picture on display, but now I think of him with
pleasure and not sadness.  The good memories are always there, and I seldom
think of the pain at the end of his life.  When my next cat died at the age
of 16, I suffered again, but this time I knew that I would get another cat.
They are not replacements because that would be impossible.  Each cat has
its own personality, just like people, but each has contributed immeasurably
to my life.

I hope that you, too, will be able to work through your grief and eventually
realize that it is *right* to adopt again.  But I realize that, for now, the
pain of what is coming is almost overwhelming for you.  Just remember that
the love and care you have given to Toma has given her a very good life.

MaryL

I understand so much what you are saying.  When Shiloh passed over I told my
mother and anyone else who would listen that I would never have another cat.
(Shiloh was my 'child' for 16 years.)

Several months later I was still chanting my mantra of "No more cats".  But
just a few weeks after that I answered the phone at work and the lady said
did you call about the kitten?  Long story short, Sissy has been with me
since 1999.

She is not a replacement, she was a kitten in need of a home and a momma
that would love her.

When the time is right I hope a furbaby comes into your life and is a
welcome addition to your family.

Karin