Last month Lucy's CRF suddenly made a turn for the worse. The CRF was
diagnosed last August and with the treatments I thought I had it under
control. But one morning while she was kneading her favorite bed blanket she
fell over and could not get up I knew it was time for the vet again.

When I took her in to the vet her numbers were 10.5 Creatine and Bun 190. My
vet told us to up the fluids to 1 unit 3 times a day and the pepcid twice a
day. This went on for 2 weeks. Then we introduced shots of Procrit every
other day. When I took her back to the vet she told me that her red blood
cell count went from 15 to 20. I was happy to hear that news last Thursday
at the vet. I noticed that her mood would pick up after I gave her the shot.

My son who is five years old really loves Lucy. Despite my constant visits
to the vet and constant medications, IV fluids I could not
save her. this Sunday she dramatically turned for the worse.

When I woke up I noticed that Lucy was under the bed and did not move. I
took the day off from work to help nurse her back to health. I gave her baby
food with a syringe. I gave her her fluid, pepcid and carried her to the
back yard and placed her on the patio table on top of a towel in the sun.

I talked to her, told her how much I loved her, how much she had to recover
because we all wanted her to be with us. While I was talking to her I
stroked her and hugged her. I prayed to God to save her, I prayed psalms
over my baby and I sobbed and cryed.

I carried her inside and put her on her favorite window sile. When she got
off and tried walking she would wobble and fall. When she was lying on her
side Lucy for the first time would wail and cry.

I ran to get her and I started to hug her. When I did put her down she would
cry and fall again on the floor. Although there was a moment before when she
was on the floor that she cried and for some reason I knew that she needed
to go to the litter. When I got her there she peed a very big piss into the
box.

I hugged and carried her the rest of the day and while I had her in my arms
she did not wail or cry. She actually purred and meowed at me and when I
kissed her she picked up her little head and kissed me back. We communicated
the rest of the day with her sleeping and talking back to me while in my
arms. Believe me I did not mind having my precious cargo in my arms for the
entire time.

This Monday morning she started to bleed from the mouth from sores that
would accumulate into a red thick patch of fluid covering the bottom half of
her face. I called the vet and described the situation and the vet told me
it was time. I felt desperate and hopeless, that was not the news I wanted
to hear. I did not want her to die. But then after seeing her unable to
walk, eat, go to the litter and keep herself from crashing into
unconscieness I decided it was time.

I knew it. I just could not face it until then. The thought of not having
her with me tore in my gut.

One hour before taking her to the vet I put her on the kitchen counter and
sang to her. I cried and hugged her. I did not want to let go. Those big
yellow eyes would look at me and say I can't go on........I am scared......I
love you.

Me and my spouse with a heavy heart decided to put her to put her down. We
went to the vet that same day. When we got there my wife opened the carrier
from the top and wrapped Lucy in a blanket, hugged her and cried until she
couldn't anymore. She held Lucy and walked into the vets office. She uttered
the words "Lucy" to the receiptionist. We were quickly ushered into the room
with the vet.  We each held Lucy in our arms kissed her little head, we told
her how much we loved her and said Good Bye.

The vet injected her back leg and two gasps later she whimpered and died. I
felt like someone stabbed me in the chest. Me and my spouse cried like
babies. The vet left us alone with what once was our cat called Lucy. We
stroked her and cried some more. But this time our baby did not move or
purr, she stood there with her lifeless yellow eyes looking out into
eternity. Those eyes will never again look at us, those paws will never seek
our company, those legs will never again run after us. Death has claimed her
and Heaven is now her resting place. We said our final goodbyes and left the
office knowing that we would never again hold or kiss our little Lucy.

When I go to the bathroom I still expect her to come running to the faucet
to get her water, I still expect her at any moment to jump up onto bed and
sleep on the bottom right hand corner of the mat or be on top of my pillow,
while walking in the house I expect to see my little ball of white fur to
follow me around the house for water.

When I had a upper respiritory infection in August, Lucy would forgo her
favorite spot on the bed just to lie down right next to me in bed and curl
up near me in bed and sleep next to me. When I felt my worst she would purr
away while being on top of me while kneading me as if to say, "Do not worry
you will be ok. I am taking care of you."

There will never again be another Lucy. I still miss her deeply. I will
always remember my little girl.