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Cat Forum / General Topics / September 2005Four weeks into introduction: Have I destroyed everything??
I will begin by saying that I THOUGHT we were moving in the right direction. We have two cats -- Elmo (14) and Zoe (4) -- who are the best of friends. Both cats have lived with other cats prior to living with us -- and we have owned them for all but a year or two of their early years. We adopted Zoe as a kitten when Elmo was 10. Recently, we were given the opportunity to adopt a 5yo calico from a friend (Mona). She was adorable, if a bit shy, and had also lived in a home with two other cats. So, we felt she would be an appropriate addition to our household. I was also pleased that she might act as a companion for Zoe in her later years, since Elmo won't be around forever. We rushed the introductions a bit at first -- giving the cats time together before the first week was out. But I promptly did tons of reading and backed off before there were any incidents of real mention. We kept Mona secluded in our den with all of her creature comforts. Then moved on to allowing her access to two rooms, separated from the other two cats by a screen. Here and there we'd switch spaces in an effort to allow her to explore the rest of the house. We attempted four or five 20-40 minute face-to-face supervised introductions with the other cats in the past few weeks. Our oldest exhibited some tendencies toward "rushing at" Mona, but had seemed to calm down a great deal in the past week. Last weekend, which was four weeks for us, we felt that it was time to move on to the next step -- allowing the cats to roam freely while we were home. THIS is when things turned. Our cats were very good for the first hour or so -- there was some growling and following, but nothing dramatic or disturbing. And then -- Elmo charged at Mona, chasing her under our bed. Having read that intervention can be disruptive, I allowed this to continue for a while. Unfortunately, Elmo KEPT Mona under the bed for an extended period, and she got distressed. She defecated under the bed and wouldn't come out for at least an hour, even after Elmo departed and went his own way. When she finally came out of the bedroom, he showed signs of doing the same thing again. So, we separated everyone again... I'm devastated -- number one because I think I've irrepairably damaged the situation, when a bit of patience would have served us all better. Number two because I really thought things were going well. This time, we've screened the house in half (approximately). Mona can explore more rooms this time... and she can sleep with us at night, if she chooses. The arrangement has been somewhat successful, although Mona now exhibits EXTREME fear of the other two cats. She won't come near the gate, except when very hungry (her food bowl is 4-5 feet from it). Her anxiety is S-L-O-W-L-Y dissipating, and so I'm hoping that eventually she will reach a level of real comfort again. The other two cats aren't all that fazed. There has been a bit of growling in the past two days. And they seem perturbed in being kept from the other half of the house. Now -- I have questions. 1) Is it wrong to limit the space Elmo and Zoe have in order to serve in getting Mona more comfortable? 2) Is there more I should be doing? 3) How long should I go on with this arrangement before trying anything more? (I'm now, officially, a bit paranoid) 4) Is this hopeless?? (I am thinking NOT -- but I might need a reality check) I think that's most of the info you would need. But let me know if there are "holes". I would appreciate good thoughts, purrs, and anything else (uplifting) you can toss my way...  Signaturelo > I will begin by saying that I THOUGHT we were moving in the right > direction. [quoted text clipped - 66 lines] > I would appreciate good thoughts, purrs, and anything else (uplifting) > you can toss my way... We have 5 cats, 3 of which are less than a year old. Each of those 3 came to us at about 4 months of age. Our older two were 13 and 6 years old. We currently live in rather tight quarters, too small for length introductions. We gave each new addition a couple of days of isolation, the watched carefully over a weekend as they met and interacted with the others. Yes, there was some preliminary growling, as well as some hiding, but they were over it within a couple of days. We expected our 13 year old to remain aloof and not interact much with the newbies, and that is exactly what she does. She's always been a loner. However, our 8 year old and the 3 new kitties have become fast friends. They groom each other, sleep together, and sometimes play together, although most of the playing is amongst the 3 new kitties. My thought is that they need to handle the situation themselves, as long as they are not actually fighting. They need the opportunity to interact in order to get to know each other. If any of your cats decide to run off hide, I'm sure it's temporary. I would give the full access to each other. They know how to keep their distance if that's what's needed. And I'm sure they'll all come around and become friends. I don't think you've ruined anything at all. SignatureWayne Boatwright *¿* ____________________________________________ My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four, unless there are three other people. >My thought is that they need to handle the situation themselves, as long as >they are not actually fighting. They need the opportunity to interact in [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > >I don't think you've ruined anything at all. Thanks for the kind words. Unfortunately, they are doing a bit of fighting (did I fail to mention that? must be blocking it out). I can't decide who's at the stem of it all -- but I'm presuming it's the eldest cat, Elmo, who is also the one doing the charging. The fighting was tempered by a bit of claw-clipping, which ensures they're not beating each other up, and also through the separation. My fear is simply that Mona is too frightened of our cats... and that any type of peaceful coexistence is going to take a lot more than what I've given. Am I over-reacting? FYI - the fighting I'm speaking of happened before Mona was chased under the bed. It was unexpected -- and definitely NOT play. >>My thought is that they need to handle the situation themselves, as long as >>they are not actually fighting. They need the opportunity to interact in [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] > >Am I over-reacting? > FYI - the fighting I'm speaking of happened before Mona was chased under > the bed. It was unexpected -- and definitely NOT play. Oh, I wasn't thinking that the fighting was play fighting. Still, the water bottle is your best choice for breaking it up. I still use it when I see a behavior (not necessarily fighting) that I want to curb. You do need to give them all more time, and not isolated, except perhaps when you're not there. I firmly believe it will work out. BTW, I can't remember if you said... Are they all spayed/neutered? That's essential. SignatureWayne Boatwright *¿* ____________________________________________ My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four, unless there are three other people. >>My thought is that they need to handle the situation themselves, as long >>as they are not actually fighting. They need the opportunity to [quoted text clipped - 20 lines] > > Am I over-reacting? This is obviously going to take time, but I don't think it's something that can't be overcome. As to the fighting, get yourself a spray bottle filled with plain water, or a water pistol. At the slightest provocation of a fight, spray everyone involved. They will all soon learn that the fighting is unacceptable. If necessary, feed Mona separately to insure that she's getting enough food, but I would advise against any lengthy separation. It will only prolong them acclimating to each other. When Mona feels more secure she will come out on her own. Unfortunately, this is not something that you have a lot of control over yourself. The little ones are going to have to work this out for themselves. Over-reacting? No, I don't think so, but I do think it will work out given time. Remember, you cannot mandate the peaceful coexistence. It's something they must do amongst themselves. Keep us posted, and best of luck. SignatureWayne Boatwright *¿* ____________________________________________ My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four, unless there are three other people. First - yes, the cats are all neutered -- so there shouldn't be any aggression on that basis. What concerns me most is the idea that Mona will hide and not leave her hiding place to use the litterbox properly if I let the cats roam freely again. I firmly believe that her defecation under the bed was the result of fear, as she has not had any other "accidents" in any other parts of the house. Ergo, I still have the cats separated, although they can see one another through two baby gates separating their areas. Mona has begun to work up the courage to walk PAST the gate at this point. And she has exhibited less fear eating in front of the other two cats, although she still has a visceral reaction to Elmo. So, that's my update. My plan, at this juncture, is to continue with the separation until I see more signs that the cats can handle being together. I am willing to do what is necessary to make this work; but I'm also feeling a bit boggled. I've read about MaryL's success -- and Catherine's (at long last), and it gives me hope. Signaturelo > First - yes, the cats are all neutered -- so there shouldn't be any > aggression on that basis. [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > boggled. I've read about MaryL's success -- and Catherine's (at long > last), and it gives me hope. The baby gates are a great idea. I must have missed that before in your earlier post. This, at least gives them a chance to get up close as desired, but still protected as needed. Great opportunity for them to see each other without threat. Time is going to be the great peace maker. SignatureWayne Boatwright *¿* ____________________________________________ Give me a smart idiot over a stupid genius any day. Sam Goldwyn, 1882-1974 >>>My thought is that they need to handle the situation themselves, as long >>>as they are not actually fighting. They need the opportunity to [quoted text clipped - 39 lines] > > Keep us posted, and best of luck. about long seperations. We had one new cat that we kept in a bothroom for about a week. The other cats were aware that she was there and they could stick there paws under the lower edge of the door (which in our house are about 1-1/2" from the floor) When we dediced to let the cat out the other cats seemed to have gotten used to her or the idea of another cat because there were few problems, surprisingly, actually none at all ... another weird thing was that when we boarded a cat for a coupole of months for a friend who had a very weird living arrangement, 4 cats and a pit bull in the same apartment, along with 5 people ... the cat was fearless, not agressive, but didn't act shy and walked in to the middle of the house, walked past the other cats, looked for a food dish, and never had a confrontation with anyone. He's a tough cat and they named him Kujo because he bit a vet ... strange ... his confidence just seemed to make every one else at ease or didn't trigger agressive behavior... made me wonder if being scared scares other cats; like you have to scared of a scared cat becuse they can be desperate. Sorry for the ramble. We've had two cats that just never fit in. One we brought over to mate and the female kept him under a couch in the living room for over a week. I mean she terrified him. Poor Momo. The other one just seems to piss everyone off. She is the sweetest cat of all but no other cats like her. We put some ledges in the hall and now she has more places to go but every once in a while, maybe 3 or 4 times a week I have to run every one else off and pull her, not too soon though (while she's still scared) out from under a dresser or pick her out of the tub where she's crouched and frozen in one position. 3 or 4 times a week really is too often. I hope that you will keep trying and not give up, but there is a posibility that they won't all be friends. I wish I had a better answer. >>My thought is that they need to handle the situation themselves, as long as >>they are not actually fighting. They need the opportunity to interact in [quoted text clipped - 19 lines] > > Am I over-reacting? I should also mention that I'm using Feliway (in two rooms - one upstairs, one downstairs)... and Bach's Rescue Remedy. Signaturelo >I should also mention that I'm using Feliway (in two rooms - one upstairs, > one downstairs)... and Bach's Rescue Remedy. Sounds like you are trying very hard to do the best things for your cats. I'm glad and you deserve credit. Try this: Feed the two older cats in front of the new cat. Make sure that the old friends are given preference but keep the new cat in your lap and let the buddies see that you like the new cat. Get a string or chord attached to a stick and when they are all together but seperated by enough distance to be comfortable, 20 ft. if necessary, play with them and take turns with the string, including the new kid. It's amazing how much they will forget everything else and kind of get used too each other. This is something I haven't done but think will work: Get two containers big enough to hold two cats of the size yours are. ... like those plactics crates sold at Home Depot with the red tops or bigger, from Walmart (this is probably better) Drill holes in both boxes with one of those circular tools that attach to a drill. The come in different sizes and have a round cutting edge and hollow center. (That's the best I could come up with while making another kind of cat box thing, anyway) ... Keep two of the cats in the boxes, next to each other ... maybe you'll have to serperate them but I think that since the walls will keep them from hurting or getting too close they might be fine. Anyway, they might get used to each other by just being in proximity for a good amount of time which you will have to judge. It would be good if you fed them at the same time. >I will begin by saying that I THOUGHT we were moving in the right direction. > [quoted text clipped - 61 lines] > I would appreciate good thoughts, purrs, and anything else (uplifting) you > can toss my way... > This is something I haven't done but think will work: Get two > containers big enough to hold two cats of the size yours are. How about putting both cats in the same container? I wonder what would happen? :) >> This is something I haven't done but think will work: Get two >> containers big enough to hold two cats of the size yours are. > > How about putting both cats in the same container? I wonder > what would happen? :) Hopefully they would scratch a troll. >I will begin by saying that I THOUGHT we were moving in the right >direction. [quoted text clipped - 85 lines] > I would appreciate good thoughts, purrs, and anything else (uplifting) you > can toss my way... I just sent you an email with some information. I hope it helps. MaryL Why did everyone not just killfile the idiots and get it over with instead of arguing with them when they are just being stupid and having fun fanning the flames |
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