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Cat Forum / General Topics / August 2005My cat hates my boyfriend
My boyfriend and I have raised our cat Bailey since the day she was born. She is now ten months old. She has developed a strong dislike for him in recent months. He is not mean or cruel to her. She growls if he even speaks to her. He can pick her up and hold her but she growls the entire time. To me she is sweet and loving and will perform tricks. It's crazy. I don't know what has caused this change in her behavior. I have tried letting him be the one that feeds her, but then she refuses to eat. I have tried putting his clothing in areas that she frequents so she becomes accostomed to his scent and this has failed too. Does anyone have any ideas, or has anyone else had a problem like this? > My boyfriend and I have raised our cat Bailey since the day she was born. > She is now ten months old. She has developed a strong dislike for him in [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > scent and this has failed too. Does anyone have any ideas, or has anyone > else had a problem like this? he might have done something bad to the cat when you were not there to observe... how well do you know your boyfriend? your cat may be sensing something which you don't (yet) : > My boyfriend and I have raised our cat Bailey since the day she was born. : > She is now ten months old. She has developed a strong dislike for him in [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] : how well do you know your boyfriend? : your cat may be sensing something which you don't (yet) Or the cat has had a very bad experience with a man. a) search your b'friend's conscience b) he may have frightened her unconsciously c) let him give her treats like cooked ham, cheese, chicken and the like d) don't rush things e) don't give up Good luck! Carola >he might have done something bad to the cat >when you were not there to observe... > >how well do you know your boyfriend? >your cat may be sensing something which you don't (yet) And he may have done nothing wrong except express an interest in you. The cat is protecting it's owner. I would point out when one cat is being given a pill, when that cat growls one of the other cats will come over and "attempt" to protect it's human guardian. But yes the boyfriend may have done absolutely nothing wrong. ------------------------------------------ http://www.barnabascollins.blogspot.com >he might have done something bad to the cat >when you were not there to observe... > >how well do you know your boyfriend? >your cat may be sensing something which you don't (yet) He and I have been together for three years. I know he would not be mean to her. We have a dog too, and the dog just loves him to pieces. > ... Does he sit or do anything somewhere she may think of as encroachment on her territory? Or as others have said even his interest in you could be interpreted so. Be patient is all I can suggest. >Does he sit or do anything somewhere she may think of as encroachment >on her territory? Or as others have said even his interest in you could >be interpreted so. Be patient is all I can suggest. Bear in mind the cat considers you (the human) to be it's territory. When the cat rubs against you it's claiming you as it's territory and marking it as such. This could well mean your boyfriend did nothing wrong. ------------------------------------------ http://www.barnabascollins.blogspot.com >>he might have done something bad to the cat >>when you were not there to observe... [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] >He and I have been together for three years. I know he would not be mean to >her. We have a dog too, and the dog just loves him to pieces. That may be the key right there. One of my co-workers has a large dog (60 lbs.?). The dog is terrrified of me becuase it smells my 10+15 lb. cats that are about an 1/6 of his size. My understanding is the dog has always been afraid of cats. Maybe the cat is also scarred of the dog? ------------------------------------------ http://www.barnabascollins.blogspot.com One of my co-workers has a large >dog (60 lbs.?). The dog is terrrified of me becuase it smells my >10+15 lb. cats that are about an 1/6 of his size. My understanding is >the dog has always been afraid of cats. Maybe the cat is also >scarred of the dog? The dog is a small jack russell terrier. The cat and dog have been together since birth and get along great. They sleep together and play all the time. There is a couple pounds difference between the weight of the cat and dog. nothing major. : My boyfriend and I have raised our cat Bailey since the day she was born. : She is now ten months old. She has developed a strong dislike for him in : recent months...I have tried letting him be the one that feeds her, : but then she refuses to eat. I have tried putting his clothing in areas : that she frequents so she becomes accostomed to his scent and this : has failed too. Does he spend any time somewhere where there is another cat? He may be bringing those scents in. Or, he may have stepped on her tail once without realizing it? Give it some time. Ask him to ignore her for a while. >Does he spend any time somewhere where there is another cat? He may be >bringing those scents in. Or, he may have stepped on her tail once >without realizing it? Give it some time. Ask him to ignore her for a >while. He isn't around other cats at all. He ignores her most of the time, because that is the only way she seems happy in our home. Per Kell via CatKB.com: >Does anyone have any ideas, or has anyone >else had a problem like this? Ours was tolerating me pretty well until one night, stumbling around in the dark without my glasses on, I stepped on it. Hasn't been the same since.  SignaturePeteCresswell >Per Kell via CatKB.com: >>Does anyone have any ideas, or has anyone [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > >Hasn't been the same since. My cats are very good at getting under foot. So they sometimes do get stepped on. They get over it, in a few days they will be back to their old selves. ------------------------------------------ http://www.barnabascollins.blogspot.com They get over it, in a few days they will be back to >their old selves. She has been like this for several months. It's sad to watch. When I come home from work she comes running to the front door, but the minute my boyfriend opens his mouth to ask how my day was she hunkers down and emits a low growl. If he is quiet for a while she will be walking around with her tail straight up in the hair, weaving in and out of my legs. : They get over it, in a few days they will be back to : >their old selves. [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] : low growl. If he is quiet for a while she will be walking around with her : tail straight up in the hair, weaving in and out of my legs. Has this cat some oriental blood in it? I would just ignore this behaviour - she might even adapt. I mean, we are cat slaves but only to a certain point. Carola : She has been like this for several months. It's sad to watch... I am sorry. The following suggests a few resources: http://www.foxvalleypets.org/cats/?details=25&page=384 Googling on your own may help too. There must be a lot of experience about such situations. >She has been like this for several months. It's sad to watch. When I come >home from work she comes running to the front door, but the minute my >boyfriend opens his mouth to ask how my day was she hunkers down and emits a >low growl. If he is quiet for a while she will be walking around with her >tail straight up in the hair, weaving in and out of my legs. I would point out animals are intuitie. My uncle who is 85 years old has a dog. When my step-father shows up the dog instantly has a meltdown. The dog knows exactly what will happen next..... my uncle will put on his hat and go out, leaving tthe dog alone for hours. The dog learned pretty fast that when my step father show up he will be left home alone for a number of hours. Maybe the boyfriend is associated with you going out to dinner for a few hours (being left alone.) ------------------------------------------ http://www.barnabascollins.blogspot.com > Per Kell via CatKB.com: > [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > Ours was tolerating me pretty well until one night, stumbling around in the dark > without my glasses on, I stepped on it. happens; I've stepped on all the (4) cats at least once; I do watch where I put my feet when I can but that's not always possible. Pat > Hasn't been the same since. >> Per Kell via CatKB.com: >> [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] >happens; I've stepped on all the (4) cats at least once; I do watch >where I put my feet when I can but that's not always possible. I'm always careful where I walk. My cats though apparently got masters degrees in how to get under foot and make it really really easy to ste on them. Escpecially at feeding time. ------------------------------------------ http://www.barnabascollins.blogspot.com >> Per Kell via CatKB.com: >> [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > >> Hasn't been the same since. Of our 5 cats, 3 have no tails, 1 has a relatively short tail, and our most recent addition has a rather long tail. I have accidentally stepped on her tail several times and of course she screeches and runs away. Five minutes later, however, she's back and wanting to be petted and have a conversation. They're all so different, it's hard to judge. SignatureWayne Boatwright *¿* ____________________________________________ Give me a smart idiot over a stupid genius any day. Sam Goldwyn, 1882-1974 >My boyfriend and I have raised our cat Bailey since the day she was born. >She is now ten months old. She has developed a strong dislike for him in [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] >scent and this has failed too. Does anyone have any ideas, or has anyone >else had a problem like this? I've had some cats who do that. My current female calico prefers me and is very jealous of my wife. Cats are territorial and that territory includes you. ------------------------------------------ http://www.barnabascollins.blogspot.com Come discuss your angry pussy over at http://forums.jebusville.com >My boyfriend and I have raised our cat Bailey since the day she was born. >She is now ten months old. She has developed a strong dislike for him in [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] >scent and this has failed too. Does anyone have any ideas, or has anyone >else had a problem like this? > My boyfriend and I have raised our cat Bailey since the day she was born. > She is now ten months old. She has developed a strong dislike for him in [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > scent and this has failed too. Does anyone have any ideas, or has anyone > else had a problem like this? This sounds like you live together. If that's the case, has he had a change in jobs recently? He may be bringing home strange scents that confuse her. Is she spayed? That might settle her down somewhat, plus she might be feeling territorial if you're her 'mom.' She might be jealous. There are definitely situations where an animal is raised equally by two people, but that animal bonds with only one of them. It sounds like Bailey has bonded to you. Please try to be patient and make sure she gets plenty of your attention - any sort of neglect might encourage her to be -more- upset, not less. I don't know if anyone has suggested this or not but have you tried a Feliway Diffuser or Spray? Its cat pheromones used to calm the cat. May be worth a try. |
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