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Cat Forum / General Topics / January 2004So sad
I broke up with my girlfriend who lived with me. We both want our two cats. Is it bad to separate them after knowing each other for a year or what is the best scenario? This is so sad, I am way upset about these poor cute kitties. They have not been together from birth, the younger one was with the older one from weeks after birth though. They get along fairly well, barely fight and groom each other. Any ideas? We both love them to death. Ketta > I broke up with my girlfriend who lived with me. We both want our two cats. > Is it bad to separate them after knowing each other for a year or what is [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > Ketta I would recommend keeping the two cats together, if at all possible. Since you say that you both love the cats, can you love them enough so that you will make a decision based on their well-being? That is, which of you is better able to care for them (and I *don't* mean which has the most money). That is, who can spend the most time with them? Who is more willing to spend time (and, yes, now I will make a reference to money) and resources for veterinary care? Do the cats already show a preference for either of you? That is how I think the decision should be made. But I would also like to thank you because you show such love and concern for their pets. Many people who break up use their animals (and children) as pawns in their personal disputes. MaryL I have more money, we are both around equal amounts. Such a hard decision. I do not want to split them up but i was worried they would really get upset with not being around each other. I want to keep them together. One shows more liking to me than the other, but it would kill me to seperate them. Maybe i get too emotionally involved in their little kitty lives but they are so part of me it sucks. Poor kitties, thats all I care about in this scenario. I feel that they would be better with me because of living conditions, as her living conditions will be severly reduced. It's all about kitty love I guess....damn. > > I broke up with my girlfriend who lived with me. We both want our two > cats. [quoted text clipped - 22 lines] > > MaryL Remember this is about the best interests of the cats. Keep them together. Whoever can provide the best home should be the one that keeps them. Who will spend the most time with them? Who will be most likely to keep them current concerning vet visits? Who can afford these expenses the most? Answers to those questions should answer your question. > > I broke up with my girlfriend who lived with me. We both want our two > cats. [quoted text clipped - 22 lines] > > MaryL > I broke up with my girlfriend who lived with me. We both want our two cats. > Is it bad to separate them after knowing each other for a year or what is [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > Ketta Set up a custody agreement? If the cats are agreeable to two homes, they could be in alternate homes on alternate weeks? | I broke up with my girlfriend who lived with me. We both want our two cats. | Is it bad to separate them after knowing each other for a year or what is [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] | | Ketta Well, for the cats' sake leave them together! If you can't agree - who got the cats in the beginning? One of the two of you has to make that sacrifice - but then there are two new cats somewhere dying to get a loving home. Carola Will your ex let you have custody of these cats??? > | I broke up with my girlfriend who lived with me. We both want our two > cats. [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > > Carola No, we both want them. Ohwell, some good points have been made. Maybe I should just let her have them even though she is the one moving out. I'm not angry or anything like that enough to take these kitties away from anyone. I don't care about her well-being so much, but I am sure they will be loved. Thank you everyone, I will be saying my goodbye meows tomorrow I think.... (I'm not a psycho cat lover that dresses them up or anything, it is just sad to me) > Will your ex let you have custody of these cats??? > [quoted text clipped - 18 lines] > > > > Carola > No, we both want them. Ohwell, some good points have been made. Maybe I > should just let her have them even though she is the one moving out. I'm [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > (I'm not a psycho cat lover that dresses them up or anything, it is just sad > to me) Of course it is sad to you ... and that shows you love these little cats. It takes someone with great compassion to look for what is best for the cats rather than for themselves (although I suspect that *you* might be the more caring of the two people involved). If possible, please have a serious discussion with your former girlfriend to make sure she will dedicate the time and love these cats deserve. Then, if the cats do go with her, please consider making a trip to your local animal shelter and adopt two more. They will not be "replacements" -- as with people, each cat has its own unique personality, but two new adoptions can save two more cats or kittens from almost certain death and can bring great joy to you. A good place to start looking is at www.petfinder.com. Enter "cat" in the left-hand column and your zip code. MaryL (take out the litter to reply) Photos of Duffy and Holly: >'o'< http://tinyurl.com/8y54 (Introducing Duffy to Holly) http://tinyurl.com/8y56 (Duffy and Holly "settle in") Well, she is being irrational and just repeats herself saying "they are my cats". She refused to discuss why they would be better with her even after I stated my side. She can have them. I appreciate everyone's help immensely, you are all great for offering advice. Thanks Ketta > Of course it is sad to you ... and that shows you love these little cats. > It takes someone with great compassion to look for what is best for the cats [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] > http://tinyurl.com/8y54 (Introducing Duffy to Holly) > http://tinyurl.com/8y56 (Duffy and Holly "settle in") The perfect solution to your problem would be for you and your girlfriend kiss, make up and get back together. Now wouldn't the kitties love it that way? Rich > I broke up with my girlfriend who lived with me. We both want our two cats. > Is it bad to separate them after knowing each other for a year or what is [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > Ketta >I broke up with my girlfriend who lived with me. We both want our two cats. >Is it bad to separate them after knowing each other for a year or what is [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > >Ketta You didn't say which one of you are moving out and whether or not one of you is keeping your place. I would keep them together in the same home they have been living in. I know you both love them, but I think it would be less stressful for them to have one of you leave then for them to be uprooted, separated, or both. Since you've both become accustomed to having a pair of cats around, I suggest that whichever one of you ends up catless, you go and adopt to young healthy kittens and take them to your new place. In a short time, you'll get to love them and vice-versa, and these two homeless kittens will be better for it. Sounds hard but get a helper and you both stand twenty yards from the cats. Get the helper to release them in the middle of you and your girlfriend and get calling. The person the cats go to gets to keep them. Let the cats decide... > I broke up with my girlfriend who lived with me. We both want our two cats. > Is it bad to separate them after knowing each other for a year or what is [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > Ketta |
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