within the range of normal cat behaviour

but from the sound of the things it might take awhile to get over
previous owners.

Patience

pat

All this sounds normal and natural to me.

I had a similar cat, wild in the woods, but I started feeding it when it was a few months old, and it eventurally moved in with me.

She never got over her fear of everything (I guess her Momma (a true feral cat from the large woods near me) taught her to run whenever she heard or saw anyting at all.  If this is a female cat, then she will want to rub you when she is in heat (get her fixed, or get some birth control pills for cats from Russia/Europe).

Even if she is not in heat, she would only want me to pet her when she was sleepy, or when I was laying down.  I guess she learned when I would not pick her up (which she didn't like) and that was the time she would come to me for petting and love.

Good luck!

(continuation re Rexie)   And both Rexie's parents were feral.  Shirl

You've described my Rexie to a 'T'.  Yes, you know they love you cause
they're right at your feet all the time, "but don't pick me up unless it's
my idea. And you can only pet me if you don't corner me." It kind of breaks
my heart, cause I'd like to hold him and pet him all the time, but there's
this wall. The vet says he might get better with age. He's almost 3 yrs now.
I've been his mommy since 4 1/2 weeks! And he comes to me around 3 or 4 in
the morning, lays on me, purring. But it's HIS idea.

You just have to live with it and give him (you didn't say whether male or
female) attention when you can. I won't force Rexie, but if he jumps up to
me (he does occasionally) I just hold him a few moments longer than he wants
me to. This way, he stays a little longer, and it doesn't piss him off!

Good luck,
Shirley B.

Pictures of His Majesty, Rex are at:
http://community.webshots.com/album/255873683SwWQZJ
AND OUR HOMEPAGE:  http://jumi-shirley-butler.com

Really there is no mystery here.   Any young mammal, kitten, puppy or child,
relies totally on their caregiver for food, security and affection.   When
the caretaker betrays them, they lose their ability to trust.   Sometimes it
can be recovered.   A puppy's natural pack instinct and strong need to
please the pack leader helps in rehabilitating dogs.  Children can think
through a situation, and, if removed from the abuse and placed in a sound
home, can learn that not everyone is like their abuser.   Cats seem to have
a harder time.  By the time I adopted my cat (at 6 months), she had been
through two homes, and was returned to the animal shelter by the police when
the husband beat the wife so badly she had to be hospitalized.

Tash is a sweet little lady, and a love-sponge at heart, but she always has
to have an escape route.   I began by simply laying my hand next to her, but
about four inches away.   It made her nervous at first, but after a while I
was able to lay my hand next to her, touching her if I kept it still.  After
I while, I'd lay my hand on her, but keep it totally still.   Then I'd lay
it on her, and gently stroke her with just my thumb.   Even now, at 11 years
old, if I try to hold her, she panics.  However she will spend hours nested
next to my leg, purring while I rub her belly.

The trick is to go as slowly as the cat needs you to go.   Never force
affection on them.   The reward you get when the cat trusts you enough to
relax next to you and accept a cheek or belly rub, and when you hear them
purr, is immensely gratifying.

Pete all that abuse can do things to any mind. Kitty's bouts of
affection are the 'assurance' kitty needs.

She is still wondering if you are going to hurt her, maybe. Or
just reverts to "autopilot" at times. I'm glad you'r there and taking
care of her. I'm sure you give her a great deal of gentleness and
patience. My little ex-feral alternates between seeking affection
and running away from us, and she has been here almost 4 years.

It sounds like this cat was feral for the first few months of it's life.
(Didn't read in your email if you have a boy or girl...)

We found a stray kitten under our house one year, and we fed her for
weeks until she worked up enough trust to let me touch her. She was
probably 6-8 months old when we took her in. She is the same as you've
described -- she LOVES me, thinks I am her cat mother. She is a little
more uncertain about Walter, but lets him pet her once in awhile.

We can only pet her at certain times, usually at night. Night is when
she shows up and sneaks into bed with me. It's a safe time for her. She
purrs up a storm.

During the day, she hides. She will not walk through the center of a
room. We don't see much of her, but accept that she was hard-wired early
 in life to hide from everything, to stay alive.

The thing I appreciate is that affection from her is much sweeter than
from the other cats. It's special. She really means it and is willing to
 be brave and come out from her hidey places to let us know she likes us.

Scritches to your cat,

Rhonda