Being tired of lurking, on Thu, 18 Dec 2003 12:33:25 -0500, Shirley
posted:

Divorce!!!!

Get rid of your husband!      :)

Shirley flushed and wrote :

Put your hubby down.
Psot binaries of your hooterz.
If your pussy and I get along, I'll help you move.

How long has she been doing this?

I must say Shirley, NOBODY could stand between me and my cats, no matter how
much I love them.

If they loved you, they would never make you part from something you love.
Your husband is being selfish. Sorry, but it's true,  but he is not thinking
about yours, your son's or your cat's feelings. Only his. Hence most of the
replies you received here, so don;t be angered by the replies from people
here, perhaps you ought to aim your anger where it is suppose to go: your
husband and  "best friend". Best friends don;t blackmail or think only about
their own feelings.

As for weeing yes I have some good suggestions, which I keep posting here:

1. Firstly: take her to the vets to rule out any medical reasons. I think
you said you;ve done that.

2. Secondly, wash that carpet and furniture where she weed thoroughly with a
biological washing powder, or some specialised shampoo that contains enzymes
which would munch up the parts of urine. We are talking serious scrubbing
here, because even though we can;t smell it, cats, believe, can. After this
has been done, take vinegar (in colour matching your carpet )- probably
clear malt one would be the best. Yes that stinks, but it works wonders as
cats hate that smell. I am not certain if it neutralises the urine in some
way as well or not, but you must
definitely put the vinegar on the spot. If possible let the carpet dry.
Perhaps speed up drying with some hairdryer treatment. Lastly, when dry, you
could use some Downy fabric conditioner to kill any residual smell left.
This one is for you really.

3a. Now, buy/borrow another litter trey and place it in that spot. Or if
there is a few spots, try and get some more trays, or some old dishes and
make pretend trays. it's only temporary.

3b. OR, get a dish with dry food and place it on that spot/spots. Cats are
clean
animals and will not urinate near their food. Even wipe the carpet with some
dry food to gain the smell of food. I know this works as my friends done it
on their cat/carpet.

Whichever method is more suitable for the location really.

4. make sure the regular tray is kept clean as some cats like my Shadow
will rather hold it in for a day/do it elsewhere, then do it in -what they
consider- dirty tray. You may think changing litter twice a week is good
enough. It may not be for your cat. She may like clean tray EVERY time she
goes wee/poo. We keep forgetting that just because WE can;t smell something,
it doesn;t mean that cat can;t either ! Their sense of smell is like zillion
times stronger then ours,and some cats are simply fussy about litter.
Perhaps put in less litter in tray/s and change it daily, for a while, just
to see if there is a difference.

You will not like what I will tell you now Shirley, and I am sorry, but I do
have to say this and anyone else who reads this. I find funny how people
brand cat/dog as "not friendly" when it comes to kids. Cat is never not
friendly. Kids are the ones who are too active, too noisy, too uncaring, too
ruff, too scary, too careless. No disrespect. This are unfortunately the
facts. Which is why we spend 20 years teaching them to behave better. Kids
only develop themselves and better habits later. But in the meantime they
will stress the hec# out of any pet. NEVER blame a cat for something kids
do. Never blame a dog for biting a kid/human. Pets are your responsibility,
and if you don;t look after them who will? There is always a good reason why
people advise never to leave the kids with pets unsupervised: it is because
kids can provoke and anger the animal which in return may scratch or bite in
SELF-DEFENCE. Pet problem is ALWAYS human fault. So no your cat is not NOT
FRIENDLY. She has just been stressed too much by the kids/humans. Most
likely yes, this is the reason for her weeing all over. She was trying to
show you her displease with the situations. I guess your grandkids have
stressed her out enough in the past to make her develop bad habits. And
after years of not dealing with this habit correctly and possibly not
teaching the kids the adequate behaviour, respect and responsibilities when
it comes to pets, it will now take a while to get rid of the habits. But you
can;t be the only one to work on her. You must speak to your family and
grandkids. Your husbands attitude will be very unhelpful if he continues to
blackmail you this way. My father did it to me once, telling me to get rid
of my first pet guinea pig: I furiously told him it's either both of us
staying or both of us moving out. And I would;ve done it. He had to back
down. His request was appalling and he quickly realised he had not thought
this through. Pet means a member of family, a "baby" you should adore and
cherish. Pets are not just for X-mas. You married your hubby for better or
worse. You take on a pet for better or worse.

I do hope you have taken this reply as a learning step, rather then just get
angry at me and others. I have learned a helluva lot in this group about
cats, and encountered some replies I wasn;t too pleased about, but after
thinking about it, I realised that most people here have a good reason why
they are saying something, and also years of experience and love for cats.
I am no genius, but I do love my cats, and animals in general, and have made
sure I learned about them and the way THEY think as much as possible. I
think anyone owning a cat(or for that matter a child) should do the same.
Far too many people give birth to a kid not knowing an inch of what that
will entail(this is obviously a general comment Shirley not aimed at you).
This in return produces unruly people, often criminals, or very unhappy
people. There really should be a test to pass to own a kid/pet! Just MHO.

Good luck. And please if your husband wants to get rid of her, and you agree
with him, do not put her down. Take her to animal shelter nearby, and give
her a chance of a better life with another family who will cherish her. Put
her feelings first, do not let her die because of selfishness of one man.

Gee

Absolutley do not euthanize this cat.  Take her to your local humane
society if you have to, but do not kill her without giving her a
chance at being rehomed.

WADR, he sounds like a real prick.

You have to figure out WHY the cat is doing this, and correct it.  

Is the cat declawed?  If so, the cat may be peeing out of frustration.
Se my advice below for Elavil.

Is the cat peeing in the same places all the time?  If so, she may be
trying to mask an odor.

How old is the litter box?  If it is more than a year old, replace it.
Plastics retain smells and after a while, some cats "go off' their
litter boxes because they stink to them (remember cats have a much
more sensitive sense of smell than we do.)

Have you tried Elavil (available from your vet)?  Many cases of
UTD/inappropriate elimination in cats are because of stress- Elavil
will relieve the stress and calm the cat.  Feliaway is another product
you can try to alleviate stress.

Is your husband hostile toward the cat?  If so, this will make the
problem worse.  Stressed cats pee inappropriately.

You need to have a serious talk with your husband.  If you love your
cat, and he actually loves you, he needs to quit blackmailing you and
threatening to kill the cat.  That's a really, really horrible thing
to threaten you and your son with.

-L.