< Ed. Another reason why cats rule! >

Uncertain times turn us into cat people
By Robert Lipsyte

The conventional wisdom is that dog owners are people who need unconditional
love, while cat owners require complicated relationships. As someone who lives
with a dog and a cat, I know the endless cats-and-dogs culture war is even more
cosmic than that.

The latest skirmish is the movie Garfield, based on the popular comic strip. It
may be the first movie starring a cat, which is significant. Until now, dogs --
Rin Tin Tin, Lassie, Benji, etc. -- starred, while cats were featured players,
such as the unnamed white pet of the villain Blofeld in James Bond movies. In
the 2001 film Cats & Dogs, an attempt by villainous felines to control humanity
is thwarted by noble dogs.

Garfield is clearly a reflection of the selfish, indulgent, petulant
independence we think of when we think feline. It's a personality that makes us
slightly uneasy: While we believe we have a certain level of control -- after
all, we do feed and house this beast -- we also know that the cat is quite
capable of acting against immediate best interests by biting the finger of the
hand that feeds it. You can't relax around a cat, which is why cats may be this
era's pet. We can't relax anymore, period.

Illusions of a dog world

It seems only logical that as our world becomes less friendly and predictable,
as we unconsciously search for ways to prepare ourselves, Americans will turn
away from the fantasy world of dogs to the harsh reality of cats.

Dogs allow us to falsely believe we sit atop the universe. They are proud to be
seen in public with us, hurry to the door to meet our friends. Even breeds
known for bad behavior, such as pit bulls, help reinforce our sense of power,
our worthiness to be their best friends.

Cats, meanwhile, mock our pretensions to power, show no gratitude, hide when we
want to display them to company. They are tiny terrorists, reminders of our
vulnerability.

Yet, according to statistics from the American Pet Products Manufacturing
Association, cats are gaining in popularity. Four years ago, roughly the same
number of cats and dogs had homes (about 62 million of each).

In the most recent survey, the pet gap has widened considerably. There are now
about 65 million dogs in about the same number of households and 77.6 million
cats in more than a third of all U.S. homes. More people have more cats. You
can cite the increase in seniors and childless couples, both groups likely to
prefer a cat because it requires lower maintenance and less expense.

I say the shift is a sign of the times, and Hollywood -- that national
pulse-taker -- has responded to the pet gap with roles that emphasize the cat
as smart, devious, spooky and dangerous -- valuable characteristics for the way
we live now.

Besides Garfield, that fat orange terror with Bill Murray's voice, there is
Hermione's cat, Crook-shanks, helping to foil an evil plan in Harry Potter and
the Prisoner of Azkaban; the assassin Puss In Boots (the voice of Antonio
Banderas) in Shrek 2; ''fashionista'' cats in Anchorman; and a survivor cat in
I, Robot. Next month, Halle Berry will star in Catwoman, a film that employed
40 real cats.

Imagining some poor cat wrangler dealing with dozens of felines makes it easier
to deal with one, my cat, Asia, who spent a recent night outside simply because
it was so dark and dank and filled with crawly critters.

While my dog, Rudy, stood loyally by my side, I tried for an hour to get Asia
back inside before I went to sleep. Early the next morning, she howled me
awake, then stalked past me into the house, furious because breakfast wasn't
waiting. I didn't dare pet her until she made it clear some time later, while I
was trying to work, that she was ready for affection.

Global anxieties vs. cat anxieties

If you believe studies by pet-food makers, owning any food-eating pet relieves
stress. But I believe that being owned by a cat merely transfers anxieties from
global problems over which we think we have no control -- terrorism, the
economy, new diseases -- to local problems over which we think, erroneously,
that we have control. Like cats.

If I was a conspiracy theorist, I would try to make a case that the scientific
studies, the movies and the Web logs jammed with socio-psycho-political-pet and
-anti-pet tirades were all part of the plot to divert us from trying to make
changes in our all-too-human world.

But it's not as if the tirades are all wacky. Some thoughtful people are
discussing interesting issues -- interesting, but not earth-shattering, which
is what we are trying to avoid thinking about these days. We need just enough
low-grade anxiety to keep us from feeling the major dreads. A cat can make you
just crazy enough to avoid going mad.

I ran all of this past my dog and my cat. Rudy gazed at me, barely moving
except to pant lovingly at my most trenchant thoughts. By the time I was
finished, Asia was long gone. She had stalked out, her tail twitching
dismissively. I understood from both their reactions that, as usual, I was
right.

Robert Lipsyte, a former columnist for The New York Times, is author of the
young-adult novel, Warrior Angel.

http://www.usatoday.com/usatonline/20040630/6329122s.htm

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"Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your
bare hands--and then eat just one of the pieces."  -- Judith Viorst

"The price of eternal vigilance is indifference."  -- Marshall McLuhan