James Marz: Please Read

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Eric - 01 Jun 2004 23:02 GMT

Hey James,

I am a latebloomer as I just read your story about your accident and why
you are struggling with regaining your love for cats. If I were you, I
would probably be in the same position, filled with anger and hate.

But please know that the cat didn't intentionally go out to cause you
that harm. The fact that you swerved out of the way proves that you
have a love in your heart for animals, and you act was a very noble one.
The results were tragic on your part, but you did the right thing.

I have been lurking in this group for awhile, and I believe that had you
started out with your story instead of the hate/anti-cat posts, people
would have been more sympathetic to your story. I will support you... I
will continue to read your posts, positive or negative. I just hope
that someday, you will be able to move past that hate you have in your
heart and remember back to a time when you were filled with love for
animals. It will be (and has been) a long road to recovery, but know
that in the end, you will get more enjoyment out of life if you turn
that corner, than if you remain consumed with hate.

Eric

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James Marz - 02 Jun 2004 15:04 GMT

> Hey James,
>
[quoted text clipped - 18 lines]
>
> Eric

Thanx Eric, you are a very rational person. Thanx for your understanding.

Cheers!

James Marz

Born in lust, turn to dust.
Born in sin? come on in! - Stephen King

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Eric - 02 Jun 2004 18:28 GMT

(James Marz) wrote:

> Thanx Eric, you are a very rational person.
> Thanx for your understanding.

You're welcome, James. If I may ask, how old were you when you had your
accident that left you paralyzed? It doesn't matter if you wish to
disclose that or not... just wondering because if you are trying to work
through your grief, I have read research where the younger you are, it
is easier to try and deal with things... than if you put your feelings
in a box and then try to deal with them later in life.

As I get older, I have discovered with myself that when I am faced with
a big problem, grief, or a traumatic situation, I am less likely to want
to deal with it head on than I was, say, five or six years ago.
Sometimes I feel like I just don't have the energy to face it... and I
am only 28. I firmly believe the longer you put things like this off,
the harder it is to face your demons.

Eric

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James Marz - 03 Jun 2004 15:31 GMT

> > Thanx Eric, you are a very rational person.
> > Thanx for your understanding.
[quoted text clipped - 14 lines]
>
> Eric

Hi Eric,

I was 30 years old at the time of my accident, it will be 3 years past
on November 18th of this year. I am reminded of that day first thing
every morning when I pull myself out of bed. Its tuff to deal with
sometimes, but I carry on the best that I know how. Thanx Eric.

James Marz

Born in lust, turn to dust.
Born in sin? come on in! - Stephen King

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Eric - 03 Jun 2004 19:11 GMT

(James Marz) wrote:

> I was 30 years old at the time of my accident,
> it will be 3 years past on November 18th of
> this year. I am reminded of that day first thing
> every morning when I pull myself out of bed.
> Its tuff to deal with sometimes, but I carry on
> the best that I know how. Thanx Eric.

James,

I kind of know what you mean about going through depression and what
some call "feeling sorry for yourself". I am always looking on the
negative side of things... and always assume the worst and anticipate
bad things... it is just my nature. I don't think people really know
whay it is like to live with things like depression and/or self-loathing
because it is such a personal thing... no one can understand it unless
they go through it too.

In your case, you have every reason to hate cats, second-guess your
decisions on that day and everything... but always know that it could
have been worse. At least you still have your life... and you should
think of it like that -- this is a challenge for you, and that you were
"spared" from death for a reason possibly. I couldn't imagine what it
would be like to be in your shoes, but I do hope that as you work
through your own sorrow and grief, that you can realize that the very
fact that you are able to wake up every morning is a gift. The day that
follows is what you make of it.

Your friend,
Eric

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