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Cat Forum / General Topics / April 2004How to tell them the tragic news?
Hi, I need some urgent advice please. About 10 days ago I saw a beautiful cat get run over and took it to emergency vet. The cat unfortunately died probably immediately. She had no ID tags/microchip so we were unable to contact the owner, but I told the local vets in case anyone enquires. However, I went out tonight and found the posters about a lost cat and it is the beautiful one I saw run over. I couldn;t bring myself to call the owners with such news at 2am, so will call them tomorrow. So, the question is, how do I tell the owners? They obviously loved this cat, and will be gobsmecked when they hear the news. Do I tell them over the phone or ask them to meet me locally(we seem to be in same neighborhood) then tell them? Would that sound strange to them? I would also hate them to think that I was the one to run her over, when I just tried to help. I know I know I am being paranoid, but I hate to bring this people such pain. I lost my QT the same way 5 years ago, and I know how I felt for years after. I know I can;t make it any easier for the owners, I just don't want them to get a heart attack or something. What would you do? Please write ASAP, as I must call them tomorrow(later today - it's now 5am here). Thanks for any advice Gee > So, the question is, how do I tell the owners? They obviously loved this > cat, and will be gobsmecked when they hear the news. Do I tell them over the [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > > Gee Hi Gee, Well, I guess I would call the owners up, and inquire if they were the people who put up the posters (if it's a child wait until the parent comes home, or ask where they can be reached). If so, tell them you are very sorry but you have bad news about the cat, and go on to tell them exactly what you told us. If it was me and you called asking to meet me, I would get my hopes up, only to have them dashed when I found out the cat was dead... They may (or may not) want to know who the emergency vet was so they can contact him/her. If you are worried for the owners well-being, ask if there is someone else they would like you to call. This is pretty much what we do in the hospital if someone dies (I'm a nurse). We obviously prefer to contact the family before the person dies, but unfortunately that isn't always the way it happens. : / Good luck, and bless you for making the effort to help the kitty. Not everyone would do that. shelly > Good luck, and bless you for making the effort to help the kitty. Not > everyone would do that. Thank you. Sadly that is so true. The driver who run over this girl didn;t even stop. The driver who killed my QT kind of stopped but took off when they saw me screaming in horror(I saw the whole incident).How can these people sleep at night.I understand accidents can happen but to not even stop and offer some help??? Ever since QT died I have been always stopping to check any animal found on the road, and taking them to the vets/woods to rest in peace if they are foxes/peageons. Death doesn;t scare me like it used to sonce QT died, and I'd rather try and help the animal then let the stupid fear take over me. > shelly Thanks so much for the great reply. I have tried calling early this morning and got the answering machine which stated it was a so and so company. I found company site on the internet and somewhere on their site they mentioned the office dog - and a cat... It was the girl I found. Their address was also next to the road where she was killed so I knew it has to be her. So I went there just now. I told a sweet lady about what happened. Kitty was only 1-2 years old, a local stray they found and took in. She belonged to all in office and they were very sad but in a way happy to know what has happened and that she didn;t suffer. I left them my number and ask them to call me if they wanna talk, as I explained about my QT. She will be missed. So thanks again.I didn't sleep very well worrying about how to tell them this horrible news. Gee > > Good luck, and bless you for making the effort to help the kitty. Not > > everyone would do that. [quoted text clipped - 29 lines] > > Gee Why do you people allow your special friends to roam outside? Would you do that with a small child? What kind of a parent would do that? It's hard to blame a driver when the streets were made for cars and screen doors were made for housecats. I harbor stray cats outside in the yard, and occasionally I lose one to a vehicle; but with them I have no choice because they are feral. However, my special ones stay inside and are never allowed to go out where danger lurks. I hope you learned something from that lesson. --Geno< www.straighttalk.com >Royer > Why do you people allow your special friends to roam outside? Would you do > that with a small child? What kind of a parent would do that? It's hard to [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > > I hope you learned something from that lesson. Geno you are jumping the gun as usual. If you check my posts over the past 5 YEARS you can see what I am about it's its certainly not allowing pets to roam free. I made a cardinal mistake 5 years ago when my QT got run over and yes that was a hard lesson to learn from, but I did, and have been talking about my QT in newsgroups all this time so I can teach others not to make the same mistake. Some people will however let the cats out for various reasons, and some of them can be valid. You are the fist one who has his reasons to allowing cats to roam. It may not be the best solution but sometimes there is no other option. Gee > --Geno< www.straighttalk.com >Royer > > Why do you people allow your special friends to roam outside? Would you > do [quoted text clipped - 17 lines] > about my QT in newsgroups all this time so I can teach others not to make > the same mistake. FIVE YEARS AGO! For God's sake, woman...get over it! --Geno<leaving in a snit but returning in a huff>royer > Some people will however let the cats out for various reasons, and some of > them can be valid. You are the fist one who has his reasons to allowing cats [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > > --Geno< www.straighttalk.com >Royer > I made a cardinal mistake 5 years ago when my QT got run over > and yes that was a hard lesson to learn from, but I did, and have been talking > > about my QT in newsgroups all this time so I can teach others not to make > > the same mistake. > > FIVE YEARS AGO! For God's sake, woman...get over it! Oh so you ARE Bob Brenchley!!! Insensitive to the bone, heartless and thoughtless. How sad. I pity you. Gee >Geno you are jumping the gun as usual. If you check my posts over the past 5 >YEARS you can see what I am about it's its certainly not allowing pets to >roam free. I made a cardinal mistake 5 years ago when my QT got run over and >yes that was a hard lesson to learn from, but I did, and have been talking >about my QT in newsgroups all this time so I can teach others not to make >the same mistake. I would point out that dangers exist for indoor cats too. An indoor cat could have the misfortune of being inside the house when Billy Joel decides to drive by. There are also lots of toxic chemcals that a cat could get into. The whole debate indoor cats vs outdoor cats......humans will still be debating it 1000+ years from now. > Hi, I need some urgent advice please. > [quoted text clipped - 23 lines] > > Gee Gee, I have the perfect answer; but you're not going to like it. Find out if they have children. If they do, then you're in luck. You can wait until it's time for the bus to bring the children home from school. Then go ring their door bell and break the news to them easy. First tell them it was one of the kids. --Geno > Gee, I have the perfect answer; but you're not going to like it. > [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > > --Geno ...And you gonna tell me this is the joke again, and how I don't have the sense of humor...Geez. You are really not taking well anyone not agreeing with you (for others, we disagreed in another thread - "New Cats" and ever since then Geno has become quite nasty to me). What are you, Bob Brenchley? Thanks for the advice but no thanks. Perhaps you'd like it if someone used it on you one day. Gee > > Gee, I have the perfect answer; but you're not going to like it. > > [quoted text clipped - 17 lines] > > Gee It doesn't bother me that you disagree, but yes, it was a joke! You finally got it! And, in that respect, of course you realize it wasn't advice at all, don't you? So, why are you acting like it was? I don't know Mr Brenchley? Is he someone who disagreed with you, too? A pox upon him; and may the Great Furry Godkitty leave a hairball under his pillow. --Geno<Cat owner and operator>Royer > > > Gee, I have the perfect answer; but you're not going to like it. > > > > > > Find out if they have children. If they do, then you're in luck. You > can wait until it's time for the bus to bring the children home from school. > > > Then go ring their door bell and break the news to them easy. > > > [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] > > It doesn't bother me that you disagree, but yes, it was a joke! You finally got it! Geno, what can I say, if you think this was a joke, and if you think this was a time and place for a joke like this, then, well, you seriously need to work on your people, as well as comedic skillz. > And, in that respect, of course you realize it wasn't advice at all, don't > you? So, why are you acting like it was? I asked for advice, you replied with a solution. Maybe that's why? > I don't know Mr Brenchley? Is he someone who disagreed with you, too? MISTER (HA HA HA HA) Brenchley he he? Oh you just wait to meet him, you are bound to. I won;t be speaking ill of the killfiled, but let's just say he has stepped on many MANY toes. Just run a search on google groups and see for yourself. > A pox upon him; No worries, he's been killfiled long time ago. >and may the Great Furry Godkitty leave a hairball under his pillow. Finally something funny! :) I would prefer that she leaves the hairball ON his pillow tho :) Gee > --Geno<Cat owner and operator>Royer > > > > Gee, I have the perfect answer; but you're not going to like it. > > > > [quoted text clipped - 29 lines] > was a time and place for a joke like this, then, well, you seriously need to > work on your people, as well as comedic skillz. There is always time for levity. You take yourself and this open forum way too seriously. > > And, in that respect, of course you realize it wasn't advice at all, don't > > you? So, why are you acting like it was? > > I asked for advice, you replied with a solution. Maybe that's why? No, you knew I was joking. You said so yourself. You're just too much of a stuffed shirt to laugh--unless it is at Brenchley's expense below. (whoever he is). > > I don't know Mr Brenchley? Is he someone who disagreed with you, too? > [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > Finally something funny! :) I would prefer that she leaves the hairball ON > his pillow tho :) Everything I say is funny. You just have selective humo(u)r. > Gee > > > --Geno<Cat owner and operator>Royer So, you own a killfile, do you? How rude. --Geno<leaving in a snit, but returning in a huff>Royer "Gene Royer" <Siregeno@Mindset.net> wrote in message > > > > > Gee, I have the perfect answer; but you're not going to like it. > > > > > [quoted text clipped - 33 lines] > There is always time for levity. You take yourself and this open forum way > too seriously. And you take people in distress way too lightly and showing no consideration. Your mother didn;t teach you to behave like this so why are you. > > > And, in that respect, of course you realize it wasn't advice at all, > don't you? So, why are you acting like it was? > > > > I asked for advice, you replied with a solution. Maybe that's why? > > No, you knew I was joking. You said so yourself. No I didn;t. I was BLATANTLY sarcastic in my comment and only you didn;t see it. So no nobody BUT you thought it was a joke or funny. > You're just too much of a stuffed shirt to laugh--unless it is at Brenchley's expense below. (whoever he is). Not at all. But if you think that telling somone their kid is dead is a joke, then I'd rather be called a stuffed shirt then what people consider you after this "joke". > > > I don't know Mr Brenchley? Is he someone who disagreed with you, too? > > > > MISTER (HA HA HA HA) Brenchley he he? Oh you just wait to meet him, you are bound to. I won;t be speaking ill of the killfiled, but let's just say he > > has stepped on many MANY toes. Just run a search on google groups and see for yourself. > > > A pox upon him; > > [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > > Everything I say is funny. You just have selective humo(u)r. I thinks Brits are famous for having selective humor, but sorry, the original comment just wasn;t it. Comedians are only funny if they make others laugh. They are not funny if only THEY think they're funny. > So, you own a killfile, do you? How rude. I'm guessing this is your selective humor thing. > --Geno<leaving in a snit, but returning in a huff>Royer >Geno, what can I say, if you think this was a joke, and if you think this >was a time and place for a joke like this, then, well, you seriously need to >work on your people, as well as comedic skillz. I especially find this joke in poor taste because I know too many parents who would take it seriously and punish their kid. After all these were the same parents who, upon hearing that Father Porter molested them, turned arond and punished THE KIDS for lying about that nice Father Porter. "He would never do something like that" they said. "Why are you lying they asked?" 500+ kids came forward with abuse allegations against him, the actual victims were probably closer to 1,000 - 1,500 kids. Do a google search on how many victims were molested, how many priests were involved, and how many victims to this day we still don't what happened to them. >...And you gonna tell me this is the joke again, and how I don't have the >sense of humor...Geez. You are really not taking well anyone not agreeing >with you (for others, we disagreed in another thread - "New Cats" and ever >since then Geno has become quite nasty to me). Well if it is a joke I find in extremely bad taste. Especially where I had to tell a kid his cat was missing after it got run over last year. >Hi, I need some urgent advice please. > >About 10 days ago I saw a beautiful cat get run over and took it to >emergency vet. The cat unfortunately died probably immediately. She had no >ID tags/microchip so we were unable to contact the owner, but I told the >local vets in case anyone enquires. The first question I would have to ask is are you sure it is the same cat? Around here we have lots of cats/dogs/squirrels/rabbits/etc. run over by various vehicles on the road and in many of those cases I would be hard pressed to identify what it was much less that it was a cat/dog/etc. I wonder if the better route might be to not mention anything and hope beyond hope that maybe (agaisnt all odds) their cat is still alive somewhere and will come home someday. I'd be very hesitant to identify it as their cat unless there is something definitive like a microchip/collar/id tag/ or other difinitive indication. My cats are safe at home but i've had too many occasions where I saw a cat that is hit by a car who look exactly like one of mine. Exactly the same. BTW, arond here the driver is required to stop. "Amy Gray" <JudgeAmyGrayNOSPAM@hotmail.com> wrote in message . > The first question I would have to ask is are you sure it is the same > cat? Around here we have lots of cats/dogs/squirrels/rabbits/etc. > run over by various vehicles on the road and in many of those > cases I would be hard pressed to identify what it was much > less that it was a cat/dog/etc. I know what you mean but as soon as I saw the picture I knew it was the cat I found. We havent got many Torties around here, and she was stunnigly beautiful and had a distinguished colar.So yeah I just knew when I saw the pic. > I wonder if the better route might be to not mention anything and > hope beyond hope that maybe (agaisnt all odds) their cat is > still alive somewhere and will come home someday. Oh no! I could never let them stew. I remember how upset I was when my QT got run over. In all my sadness and depression I was still very glad that at least I knew what happened. Not knowing would;ve pushed me to the edge with worry. > I'd be very hesitant to identify it as their cat unless > there is something definitive like a microchip/collar/id tag/ > or other difinitive indication. Yeah she had a collar but no ID. > BTW, arond here the driver is required to stop. Where are you? I;m in London, UK, and as far as I know drivers are only required to stop and report if they hit a dog. But anyways, to update on what happened: I have tried calling the owner early this morning and got the answering machine which stated it was a so and so company. I found company website and somewhere on their site they mentioned the office dog - and a cat... It was the girl I found. Their address was also next to the road where she was killed so I knew it has to be her. So I went there this afternoon. I told a sweet lady about what happened. Kitty was only 1-2 years old, a local stray they found and took in. She belonged to all in office and they were very sad but in a way happy to know what has happened and that she didn;t suffer. I left them my number and ask them to call me if they wanna talk, as I explained about my QT. She will be missed. I didn't sleep very well worrying about how to tell them this horrible news. But I could never have kept them worrying. Gee >I know what you mean but as soon as I saw the picture I knew it was the cat >I found. We havent got many Torties around here, and she was stunnigly >beautiful and had a distinguished colar.So yeah I just knew when I saw the >pic. >Oh no! I could never let them stew. I remember how upset I was when my QT >got run over. In all my sadness and depression I was still very glad that at >least I knew what happened. Not knowing would;ve pushed me to the edge with >worry. IMHO the main problem is over the years i've seen a number of cats that look exactly like one of my cats at home. I'm not sure I could be 100% certain it was not one of my cats. In order to identify the cat I would need to see how the cat reacts, it's personality etc.
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