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Cat Forum / Rescue / January 2006

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Success! My friend the ex-stray, but need advice

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Simple Simon Met a Pieman Going to the Fair - 05 Jan 2006 04:51 GMT
I want to thank everyone who answered my post asking how to befriend a
stray, and the tips have really worked.  During the last week in December my
friend the stray was waiting outside in the yard and as soon as I stepped
outside, the cat approached me cautiously at first, meowing a meek-sounding
"meew" every now and then, and then inched forward slowly until it was
circling and rubbing my legs. This is one affectionate kitty that was
probably just shy or had been mistreated by someone at one time or another.
Then it followed me inside and made itself right at home. Turns out the cat
is female. Vet checkup went okay, the cat is healthy and had already been
"fixed". So far no calls from the cat's owner.

Now I just have one problem:  The cat hates me now after attempting to give
it a bath last night. I had wrapped the cat in a towel and gently lowered it
into the warm water, removed the towel, and as soon as I put shampoo on her
back she bolted away with lightning quickness and hid under the bed.  When I
approached the bed she let out with the loudest most blood-curdling angry
GrrrMrrrrYrrrow!!! I had ever heard, and even swatted in my direction once.
When I backed away she bolted for the front door and demanded to be let out,
so I let her out, and now she's semi-afraid of me.  She'll get no closer
than 50 ft when I call her.  When I follow or approach her she'll sit or lie
down but immediately get up and walk further away when I get within 6 feet
of her.

Was it the shampoo? or what?  How do I regain this cat's trust?  It's cold
outside and I wish she'd come back in.  I've put water and her favorite
sardines out in her old feeding spot, along with a cardboard box with a
blanket and old pillow inside of it plus a couple of toys. This morning the
sardines and water were gone, but the toys seem untouched as well as the
makeshift bed. She stays within sight of my house but keeps a safe distance
from me.

Any suggestions on regaining this cat's trust?  (P.S.  I saw her actually
sitting in front of a neighbor's door earlier as if she wants to be let in,
and those people don't even like cats!)
Edward  Chimiel - 06 Jan 2006 01:32 GMT
Real good.  You gained her trust just to throw it back in her face.  Why did
she need a bath?  And why did she need it before she was totally comfortable
with you?  If it was fleas that you were worried about, try frontline or
advantage.  Then to top it off, you let her back outside when she was still
wet.  I'm not sure where you're from, but in my neck of the woods, it's too
cold to be outside with wet fur.  You can try the slow approach with her and
hope that she forgives you, but be prepared that she may never trust you
again.
>I want to thank everyone who answered my post asking how to befriend a
> stray, and the tips have really worked.  During the last week in December
[quoted text clipped - 44 lines]
> in,
> and those people don't even like cats!)
John Ross Mc Master - 06 Jan 2006 03:03 GMT
>Real good.  You gained her trust just to throw it back in her face.  Why did
>she need a bath?  And why did she need it before she was totally comfortable
[quoted text clipped - 52 lines]
>> in,
>> and those people don't even like cats!)

Either a troll or a simpleton. The second can be mended by education,
such as you have provided.

(Good luck with the cat)
Will-Lee-Cue - 06 Jan 2006 13:18 GMT
"Edward Chimiel" <djchmiel22@earthlink.net> wrote

> Real good.  You gained her trust just to throw it back in her face.  Why
> did she need a bath?  And why did she need it before she was totally
[quoted text clipped - 4 lines]
> approach with her and hope that she forgives you, but be prepared that she
> may never trust you again.

I owned a Scotish Fold for about 12 years.
When I thought it needed a bath I took it to a groomer.
That way I was the rescuer when I picked her up not the evil person with the
water.
Cats hate wet fur.

Willee
Simple Simon Met a Pieman Going to the Fair - 06 Jan 2006 16:05 GMT
The cat was waiting outside this morning when I opened the door, and she
promptly came in, albeit a bit miffed at me, but at least it looks as if
she's giving me another chance.  She ate two cans of cat food, leftover
scrambled eggs, and some water and is now asleep on the sofa.  she doesn't
totally trust me but she recognizes me as the caregiver with the nice warm
house and good food.

How was I to know she had a problem with shampoo?  She acted as if she *was*
totally comfortable with me by the time I tried to give her a bath.  I just
wanted her to smell nice and pretty because I was having family over, and
wanted us to make a good impression.  I let the cat out after her violent
outburst because she *demanded* to be let out--it was the cat's personal
decision to go outside, not mine, so I respected her wishes.  She is an
experienced and grown up "street cat" after all, and not a kitten.  I feel
that all adults, both human and animal, have the right to make their own
decisions.  I brought her into the house after all, thus if she wants to go
out, then I've no right to hold her inside against her will.  Obviously, she
came "home" when she'd had enough of the cold.  Evidently she trusts me
enough to come inside my home once again.

In the future, Mr. Chimiel, I would thank you to use a bit more tact when
replying to posters such as myself.  And please also try to refrain from
making judgements against others before you all the facts, including all the
minor details. Bottom line, respectfully ask for answers to all of your
"why" questions before passing judgement upon others. You assumed the cat
wasn't comfortable with me. You assumed she had a flea problem. You insulted
the cat's cold-weather survival skills.  You say you reside in the "neck" of
some "woods".  Unlike you, I happen to live in an upper-middle-class suburb
thanks to my education and ambition, so I don't have to live in the "neck"
of some Godforsaken "woods".

Good day sir, and rest assured that I will not be visiting this newsgroup
again if this is the attititude I can expect to receive when I ask for
friendly advice.  You may be thinking "good riddance", but in fact it *will*
be good in *my* favor, which would entail me enjoying the riddance of your
prejudgemental and condescending smartass attitude.  I never asked
specifically for *your* advice, so in the future remember that if you can't
be nice when replying to someone, then it is best for all concerned if you
would remain silent and let a more knowledgeable and tactful person answer
the questions.

Yours truly,
Sandra H., Colonel (U.S. Army Retired)

> Real good.  You gained her trust just to throw it back in her face.  Why did
> she need a bath?  And why did she need it before she was totally comfortable
[quoted text clipped - 52 lines]
> > in,
> > and those people don't even like cats!)
Will-Lee-Cue - 06 Jan 2006 18:36 GMT
> I let the cat out after her violent
> outburst because she *demanded* to be let out--it was the cat's personal
[quoted text clipped - 4 lines]
> go
> out, then I've no right to hold her inside against her will.

Now that is funny.
I do believe we have a troll here.

Willee
Will-Lee-Cue - 06 Jan 2006 18:43 GMT
> Yours truly,
> Sandra H., Colonel (U.S. Army Retired)

That explains a lot.
Now I understand how someone could throw a wet, shampoo covered cat, out
into the cold and then say It wasnt his fault cause the cat demanded to go
out.
Perhaps the cat packed a .45  LOL!

Willee
Edward  Chimiel - 06 Jan 2006 20:18 GMT
> The cat was waiting outside this morning when I opened the door, and she
> promptly came in, albeit a bit miffed at me, but at least it looks as if
[quoted text clipped - 3 lines]
> house and good food.
> How was I to know she had a problem with shampoo?

---More than likely, the problem was not with the shampoo, it was with the
water.  As most cat owners will tell you, most cats do not like receiving
baths unless they had gotten them from the time they were little and have
gotten used to them.

She acted as if she *was* totally comfortable with me by the time I tried
to give her a bath.

---It takes most cats more than a few days to get comfortable enough with
someone to let them bath them.

I just wanted her to smell nice and pretty because I was having family
over, and
> wanted us to make a good impression.

---We all know that smelling nice and pretty to make a good impression on
human friends and family is more important than anything that the cat may
want or need.

I let the cat out after her violent outburst because she *demanded* to be
let out--it was the cat's personal
> decision to go outside, not mine, so I respected her wishes.  She is an
> experienced and grown up "street cat" after all, and not a kitten.  I feel
> that all adults, both human and animal, have the right to make their own
> decisions.  I brought her into the house after all, thus if she wants to
> go
> out, then I've no right to hold her inside against her will.

---This just defies all common sense. "Experienced and grown up street cats"
want to go outside for many reasons. Unaltered cats want to go out and mate
and run off other rivals.  That doesn't mean that as their pet parents we
should let them.  We have a responsibility to our pets to protect them, even
if they don't always want that protection.  How many "experienced and grown
up street cats" have you seen lying dead in the street?

Obviously, she came "home" when she'd had enough of the cold.  Evidently she
trusts me
enough to come inside my home once again.

---I'm happy for both of you.

> In the future, Mr. Chimiel, I would thank you to use a bit more tact when
> replying to posters such as myself.  And please also try to refrain from
[quoted text clipped - 3 lines]
> "why" questions before passing judgement upon others. You assumed the cat
> wasn't comfortable with me.

---As I stated before,  it does take most cats more than a couple days to be
comfortable enough with a new person, to allow that person to do something
that they consider so traumatic as to bath them.

You assumed she had a flea problem.

---I did not assume she had a flea problem.  This is copied from my first
post. "If it was fleas that you were worried about, try frontline or
advantage."  Nowhere did I say she had a flea problem.

You insulted the cat's cold-weather survival skills.

---I did not insult the cat's skills.  Depending on where this took place,
even the best of "skills" might not have helped this cat survive when she
was wet and out in the cold.

You say you reside in the "neck" of some "woods".

---Well, for being a Retired Army officer, I would have thought that you
would have been well traveled and would have heard that expression somewhere
in your travels.

Unlike you, I happen to live in an upper-middle-class suburb thanks to my
education and ambition,
so I don't have to live in the "neck" of some Godforsaken "woods".

---Oh my, now who assumes?  I happen to live in a very nice neighborhood as
well, with a summer home in Florida.  I assure you my education is first
rate as well.  I graduated Magna Cum Laude in Dec 1992.  If you would like
the name of the University and my Major, I would be happy to provide that
information.

> Good day sir, and rest assured that I will not be visiting this newsgroup
> again if this is the attititude I can expect to receive when I ask for
[quoted text clipped - 7 lines]
> would remain silent and let a more knowledgeable and tactful person answer
> the questions.

--- Again, you assume that I am an unknowledgeable person.  I am involved
with a non-profit animal rescue group in the county that I live in.  I
volounteer at a vet clinic to help with T/N/R of ferals.  I currently care
for a feral colony on my property.  I foster 28 cats for the non-profit and
have 5 cats that own me.  I think I know a little of what I'm talking about.

> Yours truly,
> Sandra H., Colonel (U.S. Army Retired)

--- By the way, I'm US Navy (Still active with over 25 years and proud of
it.)

>> Real good.  You gained her trust just to throw it back in her face.  Why
> did
[quoted text clipped - 71 lines]
>> > in,
>> > and those people don't even like cats!)
Corey Kaye - 07 Jan 2006 03:54 GMT
<snip bath, etc>

You have no business giving a cat a bath it it doesn't a) accept restraint
or b) you don't know how to restrain the cat.  I suspect that both played a
part in your new cat's departure.

If she comes back, accustom her to being restrained.  Start with easy
stuff--she has to be held 2 second long than she wants--and progress to more
difficult retraint.  Usually a handful of scruff will still a reluctant cat.
In extreme situations, you can hold the scruff in one hand and the back legs
in the other.  If you teach her to be restrained, your vet will thank you,
and your job will be easier.

And honestly?  Pick up a have-a-hart trap from your local humane society and
trap the cat, if you'd like to keep her.  And then don't let her outside
again.  I don't care how outdoor savvy she is, it doesn't take much at all
for her to be picked off by some coyotes, or hit by a car, or contract FeLV
or FIV.  (You did test for both when you took her to the vet, right?)

Corey
Rich - 07 Jan 2006 23:47 GMT
> I want to thank everyone who answered my post asking how to befriend a
> stray, and the tips have really worked.  During the last week in December my
[quoted text clipped - 30 lines]
> sitting in front of a neighbor's door earlier as if she wants to be let in,
> and those people don't even like cats!)

I have tamed many ferals. Cats rarely need baths, and hate water. I'd
just go back to feeding the little girl, and doing the same activities
that caused her to trust you in the first place. In time she will
forgive you and trust you.
Rich

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