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Cat Forum / Rescue / January 2006Success! My friend the ex-stray, but need advice
I want to thank everyone who answered my post asking how to befriend a stray, and the tips have really worked. During the last week in December my friend the stray was waiting outside in the yard and as soon as I stepped outside, the cat approached me cautiously at first, meowing a meek-sounding "meew" every now and then, and then inched forward slowly until it was circling and rubbing my legs. This is one affectionate kitty that was probably just shy or had been mistreated by someone at one time or another. Then it followed me inside and made itself right at home. Turns out the cat is female. Vet checkup went okay, the cat is healthy and had already been "fixed". So far no calls from the cat's owner. Now I just have one problem: The cat hates me now after attempting to give it a bath last night. I had wrapped the cat in a towel and gently lowered it into the warm water, removed the towel, and as soon as I put shampoo on her back she bolted away with lightning quickness and hid under the bed. When I approached the bed she let out with the loudest most blood-curdling angry GrrrMrrrrYrrrow!!! I had ever heard, and even swatted in my direction once. When I backed away she bolted for the front door and demanded to be let out, so I let her out, and now she's semi-afraid of me. She'll get no closer than 50 ft when I call her. When I follow or approach her she'll sit or lie down but immediately get up and walk further away when I get within 6 feet of her. Was it the shampoo? or what? How do I regain this cat's trust? It's cold outside and I wish she'd come back in. I've put water and her favorite sardines out in her old feeding spot, along with a cardboard box with a blanket and old pillow inside of it plus a couple of toys. This morning the sardines and water were gone, but the toys seem untouched as well as the makeshift bed. She stays within sight of my house but keeps a safe distance from me. Any suggestions on regaining this cat's trust? (P.S. I saw her actually sitting in front of a neighbor's door earlier as if she wants to be let in, and those people don't even like cats!) Real good. You gained her trust just to throw it back in her face. Why did she need a bath? And why did she need it before she was totally comfortable with you? If it was fleas that you were worried about, try frontline or advantage. Then to top it off, you let her back outside when she was still wet. I'm not sure where you're from, but in my neck of the woods, it's too cold to be outside with wet fur. You can try the slow approach with her and hope that she forgives you, but be prepared that she may never trust you again. >I want to thank everyone who answered my post asking how to befriend a > stray, and the tips have really worked. During the last week in December [quoted text clipped - 44 lines] > in, > and those people don't even like cats!) >Real good. You gained her trust just to throw it back in her face. Why did >she need a bath? And why did she need it before she was totally comfortable [quoted text clipped - 52 lines] >> in, >> and those people don't even like cats!) Either a troll or a simpleton. The second can be mended by education, such as you have provided. (Good luck with the cat) "Edward Chimiel" <djchmiel22@earthlink.net> wrote > Real good. You gained her trust just to throw it back in her face. Why > did she need a bath? And why did she need it before she was totally [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > approach with her and hope that she forgives you, but be prepared that she > may never trust you again. I owned a Scotish Fold for about 12 years. When I thought it needed a bath I took it to a groomer. That way I was the rescuer when I picked her up not the evil person with the water. Cats hate wet fur. Willee The cat was waiting outside this morning when I opened the door, and she promptly came in, albeit a bit miffed at me, but at least it looks as if she's giving me another chance. She ate two cans of cat food, leftover scrambled eggs, and some water and is now asleep on the sofa. she doesn't totally trust me but she recognizes me as the caregiver with the nice warm house and good food. How was I to know she had a problem with shampoo? She acted as if she *was* totally comfortable with me by the time I tried to give her a bath. I just wanted her to smell nice and pretty because I was having family over, and wanted us to make a good impression. I let the cat out after her violent outburst because she *demanded* to be let out--it was the cat's personal decision to go outside, not mine, so I respected her wishes. She is an experienced and grown up "street cat" after all, and not a kitten. I feel that all adults, both human and animal, have the right to make their own decisions. I brought her into the house after all, thus if she wants to go out, then I've no right to hold her inside against her will. Obviously, she came "home" when she'd had enough of the cold. Evidently she trusts me enough to come inside my home once again. In the future, Mr. Chimiel, I would thank you to use a bit more tact when replying to posters such as myself. And please also try to refrain from making judgements against others before you all the facts, including all the minor details. Bottom line, respectfully ask for answers to all of your "why" questions before passing judgement upon others. You assumed the cat wasn't comfortable with me. You assumed she had a flea problem. You insulted the cat's cold-weather survival skills. You say you reside in the "neck" of some "woods". Unlike you, I happen to live in an upper-middle-class suburb thanks to my education and ambition, so I don't have to live in the "neck" of some Godforsaken "woods". Good day sir, and rest assured that I will not be visiting this newsgroup again if this is the attititude I can expect to receive when I ask for friendly advice. You may be thinking "good riddance", but in fact it *will* be good in *my* favor, which would entail me enjoying the riddance of your prejudgemental and condescending smartass attitude. I never asked specifically for *your* advice, so in the future remember that if you can't be nice when replying to someone, then it is best for all concerned if you would remain silent and let a more knowledgeable and tactful person answer the questions. Yours truly, Sandra H., Colonel (U.S. Army Retired) > Real good. You gained her trust just to throw it back in her face. Why did > she need a bath? And why did she need it before she was totally comfortable [quoted text clipped - 52 lines] > > in, > > and those people don't even like cats!) > I let the cat out after her violent > outburst because she *demanded* to be let out--it was the cat's personal [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > go > out, then I've no right to hold her inside against her will. Now that is funny. I do believe we have a troll here. Willee > Yours truly, > Sandra H., Colonel (U.S. Army Retired) That explains a lot. Now I understand how someone could throw a wet, shampoo covered cat, out into the cold and then say It wasnt his fault cause the cat demanded to go out. Perhaps the cat packed a .45 LOL! Willee > The cat was waiting outside this morning when I opened the door, and she > promptly came in, albeit a bit miffed at me, but at least it looks as if [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > house and good food. > How was I to know she had a problem with shampoo? ---More than likely, the problem was not with the shampoo, it was with the water. As most cat owners will tell you, most cats do not like receiving baths unless they had gotten them from the time they were little and have gotten used to them. She acted as if she *was* totally comfortable with me by the time I tried to give her a bath. ---It takes most cats more than a few days to get comfortable enough with someone to let them bath them. I just wanted her to smell nice and pretty because I was having family over, and > wanted us to make a good impression. ---We all know that smelling nice and pretty to make a good impression on human friends and family is more important than anything that the cat may want or need. I let the cat out after her violent outburst because she *demanded* to be let out--it was the cat's personal > decision to go outside, not mine, so I respected her wishes. She is an > experienced and grown up "street cat" after all, and not a kitten. I feel > that all adults, both human and animal, have the right to make their own > decisions. I brought her into the house after all, thus if she wants to > go > out, then I've no right to hold her inside against her will. ---This just defies all common sense. "Experienced and grown up street cats" want to go outside for many reasons. Unaltered cats want to go out and mate and run off other rivals. That doesn't mean that as their pet parents we should let them. We have a responsibility to our pets to protect them, even if they don't always want that protection. How many "experienced and grown up street cats" have you seen lying dead in the street? Obviously, she came "home" when she'd had enough of the cold. Evidently she trusts me enough to come inside my home once again. ---I'm happy for both of you. > In the future, Mr. Chimiel, I would thank you to use a bit more tact when > replying to posters such as myself. And please also try to refrain from [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > "why" questions before passing judgement upon others. You assumed the cat > wasn't comfortable with me. ---As I stated before, it does take most cats more than a couple days to be comfortable enough with a new person, to allow that person to do something that they consider so traumatic as to bath them. You assumed she had a flea problem. ---I did not assume she had a flea problem. This is copied from my first post. "If it was fleas that you were worried about, try frontline or advantage." Nowhere did I say she had a flea problem. You insulted the cat's cold-weather survival skills. ---I did not insult the cat's skills. Depending on where this took place, even the best of "skills" might not have helped this cat survive when she was wet and out in the cold. You say you reside in the "neck" of some "woods". ---Well, for being a Retired Army officer, I would have thought that you would have been well traveled and would have heard that expression somewhere in your travels. Unlike you, I happen to live in an upper-middle-class suburb thanks to my education and ambition, so I don't have to live in the "neck" of some Godforsaken "woods". ---Oh my, now who assumes? I happen to live in a very nice neighborhood as well, with a summer home in Florida. I assure you my education is first rate as well. I graduated Magna Cum Laude in Dec 1992. If you would like the name of the University and my Major, I would be happy to provide that information. > Good day sir, and rest assured that I will not be visiting this newsgroup > again if this is the attititude I can expect to receive when I ask for [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > would remain silent and let a more knowledgeable and tactful person answer > the questions. --- Again, you assume that I am an unknowledgeable person. I am involved with a non-profit animal rescue group in the county that I live in. I volounteer at a vet clinic to help with T/N/R of ferals. I currently care for a feral colony on my property. I foster 28 cats for the non-profit and have 5 cats that own me. I think I know a little of what I'm talking about. > Yours truly, > Sandra H., Colonel (U.S. Army Retired) --- By the way, I'm US Navy (Still active with over 25 years and proud of it.) >> Real good. You gained her trust just to throw it back in her face. Why > did [quoted text clipped - 71 lines] >> > in, >> > and those people don't even like cats!) <snip bath, etc> You have no business giving a cat a bath it it doesn't a) accept restraint or b) you don't know how to restrain the cat. I suspect that both played a part in your new cat's departure. If she comes back, accustom her to being restrained. Start with easy stuff--she has to be held 2 second long than she wants--and progress to more difficult retraint. Usually a handful of scruff will still a reluctant cat. In extreme situations, you can hold the scruff in one hand and the back legs in the other. If you teach her to be restrained, your vet will thank you, and your job will be easier. And honestly? Pick up a have-a-hart trap from your local humane society and trap the cat, if you'd like to keep her. And then don't let her outside again. I don't care how outdoor savvy she is, it doesn't take much at all for her to be picked off by some coyotes, or hit by a car, or contract FeLV or FIV. (You did test for both when you took her to the vet, right?) Corey > I want to thank everyone who answered my post asking how to befriend a > stray, and the tips have really worked. During the last week in December my [quoted text clipped - 30 lines] > sitting in front of a neighbor's door earlier as if she wants to be let in, > and those people don't even like cats!) I have tamed many ferals. Cats rarely need baths, and hate water. I'd just go back to feeding the little girl, and doing the same activities that caused her to trust you in the first place. In time she will forgive you and trust you. Rich
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