http://www.faqs.org/faqs/cats-faq/breeds/coons/

"Temperament

  While Maine Coons are highly people-oriented cats, they are not
  overly-dependent. They do not constantly pester you for attention, but
  prefer to "hang out" with their owners, investigating whatever
  activity you're involved in and "helping" when they can. They are not,
  as a general rule, known as "lap cats" but as with any personality
  trait there are a few Maine Coons that prefer laps. Most Maine Coons
  will stay close by, probably occupying the chair next to yours
  instead. Maines will follow you from room to room and wait outside a
  closed door for you to emerge. A Maine Coon will be your companion,
  your buddy, your pal, but hardly ever your baby."

Alison <Alison@XYZallofus2.fsnet.co.uk> wrote in
rec.pets.cats.health+behav:

Same for people.  That early bonding is very important.  But sometimes
it's just personality.  I got Kami at 8 weeks and I wasn't working so I
was home playing with her and (trying) holding her and having fun and
qiet moments.  But they are who they are.  Maybe it's astrology.  She's
an Aries.

Amber hates to be picked up and won't sit on my lap.  She will sit
next
to me and loves to be petted.  Tiger (possible Maine Coon) likes to
sit
on my lap (all 23 pounds of him) and follows me around.  I say follows
but usually he tries to get in front of me.  He sleeps on the bed most
of the night but is always gone when I wake up.  Then Amber gets on
the
bed for her morning petting.  >>

They seem to have it all worked out:)  23lbs would crush me! Kim's
heavy for me at 10lbs.
Alison

Hi Mike--Have you ever posted a pic of Tiger? Can't remember if I've
seen him or not.

Sherry

Hi Mike--Have you ever posted a pic of Tiger? Can't remember if I've
seen him or not.

Sherry

   I expect this helps to overcome their fear and once they have
overcome
they realise its nice to be petted and sit on your lap.
For those that aren't fearful and they just dont want to be petted, as
you have
found, it's much more difficult.
 If they aren't fearful of hands , I'd start by tickling or rubbing
their chins and move onto
the side of their faces, I'd keep the sessions very short and build up
the time. You could put something that smells nice to them on your
fingers. I got valerian compound on my fingers once and my cat rubbed
my hand like crazy. Do they let you brush them?
  If they respond to treats, you could try using a clicker, if you've
not used one before, Karen Pryor's Clicker Training Your Cat ,
explains it all.
Alison

I had a foster last summer (Thelma) that I had to separate from her sister
(Louise) to get her to come around. She would launch herself at someone,
tooth and claw, if they as much as looked at her and got herself so upset
that she ended up with the reddest tongue I had ever seen. I crated her in a
room away from all the other cats for a week or so and by the end of the
week I could pet her and pick her up. When she was here she would lay in
certain places (like on the cat tree) when she wanted attention and if she
was anywhere else preferred to be left alone. Their mother had been hit by a
car and killed when they were small kittens and they were finally trapped
and came here when they were around 10 - 12 weeks old.

They got adopted together just this last spring, so it took a while. The
people were interested in adopting Louise but when they were filling out the
paperwork saw the girls grooming each other and didn't have the heart to
break them up. Thelma's doing ok but is still shy and wants attention on her
terms. She was adopted by some great people who accept her the way she is
and don't seem bent out of shape that she's not a lap fungus.

Good luck with your kitty.

W