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Cat Forum / Health and Behavior / July 2005de-claw grief
I generally consider myself a well-educated protector of animals. I take the stance that all animals are innocent and deserve to be treated with the same respect as people. I fundraise for shelters that are of "NO KILL" policy and volunteer my time wherever needed. That being said, after what I've done, I rather feel that my own fingers deserve to be amputated. How could I have gotten this so wrong? After all the time I have spent with animals, how could I have not known what this would do? When I saw Haley at the shelter, her tag said that she had been there for eight months!!! (Thank God it was a no kill shelter) And the tag also said that Santa had brought her presents over Christmas, but she couldn't have them until she was adopted. HOW COULD ANYONE HAVE LEFT HER THERE FOR 8 MONTHS??? No one wanted her because she was a special needs cat. She has terrible allergies and extra toes on each paw. I cried when I held her and there was no way she was staying there another day. She is such a joy in my life. A cuddler, a sweetheart, and very independent. She never really clawed the furniture or destroyed anything. She did however, claw and bite other cats, dogs, small children and other people (even me). I thought that it would go away... that she was just adapting to a new home. But the attacks came at random and I couldn't figure out what the pattern was. Was she sensitive in the areas I was petting? Were there stressors around at the time of the attacks? Did anything provoke her? I had no idea. I was worried that at some point when I had kids of my own, she might go after them. My family suggested de-clawing her, and I shamedly admit that I did not do my research. I had always thought that this procedure was easy to do and not to much of an inconvenience for cats. Apparently, there are many others under the same misconception. It's amazing how mis-informed the general public is. I am writing this to warn anyone thinking about de-clawing their cat to PLEASE research before you ever make big decisions about your pet's health or anyone's health for that matter. It hurts me to the core watching her go through this and I would take it all back in a heartbeat if I could. She gave up a part of her body for me, and I can't believe that this has become her life. I have been reading all the anti de-claw sights on the net and each time I read the words, "Animal mutilator, barbaric, animal cruelty," or especially the words, "Other alternatives," I think to myself that's me. I did that to my baby. I could have tried soft paws or something else. There are probably many things I COULD have done. Does the grief ever go away? Is there anything I can do for her during her pain? Is there anyone else out there who can relate? Funny. I was just saying how bad I felt and how mis-informed I was about declawing. I'm learning as of tonight that my cat's behavioral problems are because of something I did to him. I feel awful. Now my husband wants him out because our whole house is covered in cat pee. =( After finding out I am to blame for this I could never let him go... especially not over something I did. I feel so ashamed. I can definately realte to what you are gonig through... as it is very fresh for me. I worry the grief will never go away. Knowing that he *probably* acts the way he does becuase he is crying out for help makes me sick. =( > Funny. I was just saying how bad I felt and how mis-informed I was > about declawing. I'm learning as of tonight that my cat's behavioral [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > *probably* acts the way he does becuase he is crying out for help makes > me sick. =( Well, consider this: you have some good ideas about what is causing the behavior problem for kitty...instead of beating yourself up, get as educated as you can and help that kitty solve the problem. Please don't give him up though. Explain to your husband what is going on and work together on it. Good luck. Pam I was told to check out stopdeclaw.com. ... I just did and I started gagging and crying. I made my husband come take a look at what we did to our little guy. We both feel like IGNORANT a.ses. We are not going to give up on him. It's our fault he acts the way he does... and we have to live with it now. We will get educated... and work together on helping him. We realized that him peeing on the bed was probably because the bed is soft and does not hurt his paws. =( We kind of put pieces of the puzzle together. We always wondered why he would "scoop" at everything. Now we know. Our vet recommended that we do the procedure. I asked my husband why he would recommend such a thing... He said that everyone has to make there money somehow... jerks... that's just as bad as being a drug dealer. I'm going to call the vet in the morning and let him know what I found out... We will look for vet services elsewhere now... from a vet that is against declawing. When we find that vet, we are going to take Brody in to get checked out for a bad declaw. Sad. So sad. We feel horrible. > Our vet recommended that we do the procedure. I asked my husband why > he would recommend such a thing... He said that everyone has to make [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > take Brody in to get checked out for a bad declaw. Sad. So sad. We > feel horrible. Your VET reccommended it??? Sorry but, a.shole!!! How can someone pledge to be looking out for the health and welfare of animals and actually reccommend declawing? -Kelly >Does the grief ever go away? Is there anything I can do for her during >her pain? Is there anyone else out there who can relate? It is sad that it can never be undone, but at least you know now, and you know you didn't mean to hurt her. It sounds like you want to make things right, and you may save other cats from suffering the same thing. I don't know if the grief ever goes away completely, but I suspect it will lesson once you forgive yourself. I can relate with the same concept, different situation. Five years ago, I had a sick cat. The vet book said to give pepto bismal. It didn't seem to help and he died either the next night or the night after. It wasn't until this year that I learned that Pepto Bismal added an ingredient that is toxic to cats. At the time, I was going by the vet book. I certainly meant no harm. I had no idea that I was giving something toxic to my cat, and an ill, underweight cat at that. I am most likely responsible for his death. I was told on this newsgroup that the ingredients may not have been changed at that point, so I may not have killed him. But I found an old bottle in the medicine cabinet, quite possibly the bottle I used back then (we don't use it much). Seeing the expiration date on it, and checking the date on a current bottle, it is quite possible that this bottle was in the house 5 years ago. And it has that ingredient. How did I learn that I may have killed my cat? I was online trying to check the dosage before giving it to Jay Jay. Had I not found the warnings, I would have done it again. It was like losing Jasper all over again. Sometimes we just have to forgive ourselves and know that we meant no harm, and do our best to prevent it from happening to others.  Signature-- Meghan & the Zoo Crew Equine and Pet Photography http://www.zoocrewphoto.com Suddenly, without warning, Jen exclaimed (14-Jul-05 6:49 AM): > I generally consider myself a well-educated protector of animals. > My family suggested de-clawing her, and I shamedly admit that I did not > do my research. [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > Does the grief ever go away? Is there anything I can do for her during > her pain? Is there anyone else out there who can relate? Jen: Yes, declawing is horrible, and you should have done your research. I'm sort of suprised that, as someone who cares about cats you weren't aware of what declawing is, and didn't look into other options as well, such as softpaws. Personally, I think you should have looked for help to modify her behaviour, if you weren't able to do it yourself. That said, the damage is done now & you both must move on. Truth be told, I did the same horrible thing to my first cat. I was 18, fresh out of college, and had never owned a cat before. She was climbing, shredding furniture and me, and I just didn't know what to do about it, and had noone to give me advice. It wasn't until years later that I understood what I'd done to my poor cat. She learned to deal with it though, and I have some bad news for you. Cats are smart, and she figured out that though she had no front claws, her rear ones were still there, and she learned how to use them. She also compensated by using her teeth. Likely, you'll still need to do the harder work of behavior modification to fix her problems. It's not the end of the world for your cat, she'll adjust, like we all do, to her new situation. Besides, your vet deserves some blame too! He/She should have told you EXACTLY what you were asking them to do, and strongly advocated against it. We all do stupid things in life, and sometimes these thing profoundly affect those around us. You know you'll never do that again, you're now an advocate against declawing, and can educate your family. With your newfound knowledge, perhaps you can save another cat from the same fate. Don't keep beating yourself up over this. Apologise to your kitty, love her, and move on. And, next time, educate yourself before doing something drastic to your kitty! And ignore the flames you're likely to receive. You know you did wrong, you won't do it again. Don't beat yourself up with guilt just because a bunch of complete strangers tell you you're evil. You're not. You made a mistake, and admitted it. That's much more adult than some I could name! Oh, BTW, if your vet DID advocate against declawing, and you did it anyway, ignore my post. That would be a very bad thing. jmc > Jen: > [quoted text clipped - 42 lines] > > jmc Excellent post. Jen, I also had my cat declawed when I didn't know better. I was a teenager, and my parents suggested it because she liked to swipe, and I said OK. Didn't give it two thoughts. I figured if vets do it, it must be safe, right? I also didn't know what I had done until years later. Declawing a cat that swipes will often make her a biter. It did in my case. You may want to have your kitty's paws X-rayed to make sure her declaw was a clean job and there aren't any bone fragments causing her pain. Also be on the lookout for arthritis as she gets older. -Kelly Just out of interest, any UK people know if it's illegal here? I ask this because I know loads of people with cats, and I've never heard of anyone having them de-clawed, in fact I didn't even know it existed til I read this group. Just looked at the declaw website, but only lasted a couple of minutes. I know my new furniture will eventually get trashed, but I have a cat and that's what cats do! He doesn't swipe at me (any more, he got put outside for a few minutes if he did it) - I like to think I've trained him well, ha ha, he doesn't scratch the sofa until I leave the room now. > Just out of interest, any UK people know if it's illegal here? I'm not from the UK, but I do know that it *IS* illegal in the UK (and a lot of other countries). I wish we would make it illegal here in the US too. Hugs, CatNipped I ask > this because I know loads of people with cats, and I've never heard of > anyone having them de-clawed, in fact I didn't even know it existed til [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > like to think I've trained him well, ha ha, he doesn't scratch the sofa > until I leave the room now. Is anybody trying to make it illegal - PETA for example? Who would we lobby, surely it's worth trying - I can't believe vets agree or recommend it, what kind of vet could do that, I thought (naively obviously) that they were animal "doctors", not butchers - god it makes my blood boil to think about a vet that would do that. Just out of interest, any UK people know if it's illegal here? I understand that it is illegal, I first read about in Desmond Morris' "Catwatching" about 15 years ago in passing and wondered why anyone would do it. I have never heard of a UK vet offering the service. Lesley Scratched but glad to be slave of the Fabulous Furballs > I know my new furniture will eventually get > trashed, but I have a cat and that's what cats do! He doesn't swipe at > me (any more, he got put outside for a few minutes if he did it) - I > like to think I've trained him well, ha ha, he doesn't scratch the sofa > until I leave the room now. But just because you have a cat absolutely does not mean your furniture will get trashed - if proper training is done, and if you provide appropriate scratching surfaces for the cat. I have 2 cats and they have a cat tree and scratching posts. They've been trained not to use the furniture and they don't. People can have nice furniture AND cats. LAUREN See my cats: http://community.webshots.com/album/56955940rWhxAe > But just because you have a cat absolutely does not mean your furniture > will get trashed - if proper training is done, and if you provide [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > > See my cats: http://community.webshots.com/album/56955940rWhxAe Or one can just put cats above furniture. I don't mind the nicks in my leather chairs. And I tell myself (sometimes more successfully than others) that the scratched wood will someday be looked upon as "character". SignatureJean B. He has been trained not to scratch the furniture, he uses his scratching post and the trees outside, but then, when I'm not looking, he still uses the sofa, he's so crafty - I only found out when I went to wash the throw and it was wrecked underneath, not much I could do. He never does it in front of me ever, he was trained by me spraying cat repellant on the sofa and also spraying him with water from a flower spray when he did it (the scratching post is next to the sofa and covered in catnip), so there's no doubt he knows it's verboten, he's just too clever I guess. > Just out of interest, any UK people know if it's illegal here? Yes, it is. In fact, it's illegal in most Western countries, with the notable exceptions of USA and Canada. Helen Just out of interest, any UK people know if it's illegal here? I understand that it is illegal, I first read about in Desmond Morris' "Catwatching" about 15 years ago in passing and wondered why anyone would do it. I have never heard of a UK vet offering the service. Lesley Scratched but glad to be slave of the Fabulous Furballs One of the hardest things to deal with is the fact that I wasn't as educated as I thought I was. I was ignorant about the whole thing. Since I've never de-clawed a cat before, I never did any research .... never saw any educational websites and actually thought that there were more supporters of it than there were anti-supporters. I didn't even know that the part they cut out of the cat, is what the cat actually uses for walking. *sigh.... I completely agree with you. And I wish that my vet had told me exactly what was involved... that she would be put through hell. Do you know... they didn't even have a consultation with me about why I was doing it??? They just allowed me to make an appointment and get it done. Looking back, I think that's very odd and very sad. One of the only good things I can say about this, is that at least I had a vet who gave me pain medication for her and anti-biodics to help keep her more safe from infection. I've just been reading about some other pets who did not receive pain medication or anything. Just god-awful! It has been three days since surgery, and I thank God that Haley is up and walking around -- seems to be doing much better. She still won't use the litter box, which is fine with me. I'd rather wash beach towels for the rest of her life than make her do anything else that's painful. I know I shouldn't beat myself up so much, but I feel somewhat better if I sleep on the floor with her, or sleep upright with Haley on my lap. She's uncomfortable right now... and I feel like I should join her. Does it make sense that I don't want to feel comfort if she can't? Weird I guess. I have learned a lot in the last few days. I am going to give anyone thinking about de-clawing their cat the website stopdeclaw.com. It will hopefully make them sick about the decision and I sincerely hope that this procedure gets more exposure so that more people will understand what they are doing. Yes, I do feel terrible. But maybe saving some other cats will help heal me one day too. > I have learned a lot in the last few days. I am going to give anyone > thinking about de-clawing their cat the website stopdeclaw.com. It > will hopefully make them sick about the decision and I sincerely hope > that this procedure gets more exposure so that more people will > understand what they are doing. Yes, I do feel terrible. But maybe > saving some other cats will help heal me one day too. To some extent, I think this is what matters most. You learned something. It is a mistake you will never make again. And Haley will likely be just fine...and so will you. Just keep your head up and continue to advocate against declawing. That is all you can really do. Sometimes, we have to learn things in life the hard way. I think it is sad how glossed over the topic is presented in our country. I was having a conversation with my grandmother about declawing and she thought it was just like removing your nails. She had no idea it was literally an amputation. ANd to be honest, 8 years ago, I didn't either. As long as you always take care of Haley and never abandon her because of behavior problems, I think you will heal. You will always know that you did right by her after making that mistaek. Many people declaw their cats, find that they have problems, and then dump them at a shelter or have them euthanized. It is so sad. Purrs for Haley's quick recovery. :) Pam > One of the hardest things to deal with is the fact that I wasn't as > educated as I thought I was. I was ignorant about the whole thing. [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > appointment and get it done. Looking back, I think that's very odd and > very sad. The worst thing is that most people are just like you. They don't know, they assume it's perfectly normal, that it's just "what you do" when you get a cat. The sickest thing is that most of them don't care. You can talk about amputation and side effects and how it's banned as inhumane in every other civilized nation in the world, and they don't care. It's a mark of your integrity that you can admit you did it, and you feel terrible for having done it. Thank you for learning from this mistake, and thank you more for passing it on to others. >Haley on my lap. She's uncomfortable right now... and I feel like I >should join her. Does it make sense that I don't want to feel comfort >if she can't? Weird I guess. I understand. When my cats are sick or hurting, I can't sleep. I just want to sit with them and comfort them. They take such great care of me when I am sick or down, I need to do the same for them. And I know that they feel better with the company. They know we care, and that helps even if we can't do much more. A couple years ago, I woke up because my dog was spinning circles on my bed in a panic. She was pawing at her mouth, and I could see blood. I never did figure out what happened. Perhaps she got into something and it got stuck, or she choked. I really don't know as it seemed to okay by the time I woke up. But she obviously freaked out. She took one look at me and calmed down. The simple fact that I was awake and examining her, meant that she was okay and didn't need to worry. Signature-- Meghan & the Zoo Crew Equine and Pet Photography http://www.zoocrewphoto.com > She did however, claw and bite other cats, dogs, small > children and other people (even me). I thought that it would go away... [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > many others under the same misconception. It's amazing how mis-informed > the general public is. Yes, vets don't want people to know what it is. Declawing is a big money maker for them. An aggressive cat should never be declawed, as it may very well only make the problem worse, but now you'll have a biter. Cat bites are worse than cat scratches as they can become very easily infected. I'm sorry you didn't do your research beforehand. But at least you know now, and hopefully can make a difference by educating as many people as you can about this horrific act done to cats. LAUREN See my cats: http://community.webshots.com/album/56955940rWhxAe > I am writing this to warn anyone thinking about de-clawing their cat to > PLEASE research before you ever make big decisions about your pet's [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > Does the grief ever go away? Is there anything I can do for her during > her pain? Is there anyone else out there who can relate? Thank you all for helping me deal with this. I actually stopped a co-worker of mine from getting her cat declawed. She said she was thinking about it, and I went over all the gruesome details with her. People actually started forming a group around me as I talked about what actually happens to the cat. And people were sick about it. Amazing... they were just as naive as I once was. You are all wonderful people who have great insight about animals. I believe that my heart will heal one day and that Haley may still have a happy future with me, despite what I did. Thank you thank you! > Thank you all for helping me deal with this. I actually stopped a > co-worker of mine from getting her cat declawed. She said she was [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > > Thank you thank you! Jen, I just wanted to let you know that when I was in my late teens I had my cat declawed. I felt as you do--and of course have never done it to another cat. I just did not know what it was and the vet acted like it was nothing. She lived to be 20, and had a nice life. I was extra careful not to let her out, and there were times when she hid and I was convinced that a house guest had let her out and was so distraught I could barely function, walking the neighborhood (and making my house guest help!) for hours calling her, in tears, just to come home and find her under the kitchen cabinets. :) Thanks for sharing your experience. You can do a lot of good that way. > Thank you all for helping me deal with this. I actually stopped a > co-worker of mine from getting her cat declawed. She said she was > thinking about it, and I went over all the gruesome details with her. > People actually started forming a group around me as I talked about > what actually happens to the cat. And people were sick about it. > Amazing... they were just as naive as I once was. Hey, Jen, that's great news! See, you've already made a difference :) BTW, I've got a brochure about declawing that I've stuck on shelves at pet supply stores, and even in magazines at the vets. If you ever want a copy, just let me know. Lauren See my cats: http://community.webshots.com/album/56955940rWhxAe > Hey, Jen, that's great news! See, you've already made a difference :) > BTW, I've got a brochure about declawing that I've stuck on shelves at [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > See my cats: http://community.webshots.com/album/56955940rWhxAe I'd like a copy. It sounds like it would be a good thing to disseminate it as widely as possible. SignatureJean B. I would love a copy too. Thx! >I'd like a copy. It sounds like it would be a good thing to > disseminate it as widely as possible. > > -- > Jean B. Sure, I can send it no problem. Can you and Jen send me your email addresses? I'm reading the group through Google and it cuts off email addresses. >>I'd like a copy. It sounds like it would be a good thing to >>disseminate it as widely as possible. [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > addresses? I'm reading the group through Google and it cuts off email > addresses. Is that YOUR real posting address? It looks like it may not be.... SignatureJean B. |
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