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Cat Forum / Health and Behavior / September 2003

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Five Is A Holy Terror!

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Squish The Cat - 15 Sep 2003 19:29 GMT
I'm no newcomer to cat ownership (being owned by a cat, that is) and have
only spent two years of my life without a one.  Recently we took in an
abandoned 4 week old female kitten and like every other kitten I've raised,
I lavished Five with love, affection, attention, lots of lap time...you name
it.  But she's never much liked to be petted or touched (she's around 8
weeks old now) and, in fact, prefers biting a hand to being petted by it.
It's not that she isn't friendly or doesn't like people because she sleeps
right next to me across my leg or arm whenever she can, she wants to be
around her peoples and her dogs, -- in fact I just called her name and she
came bounding across the room and jumped up to sit on my laptop (computer,
that is.)  She rarely purrs unless I try to pet her when she's sleepy (and
then she awakens and chooses to bite my hand instead.)  She loves to play
fiercely and it's like she sees every hand, arm, and face as something to
play and fight with.  Honestly, I believe that it's not that she doesn't
like us or that she's not sociable because she really does want to be
physically close -- as long as she doesn't have to be touched.

This is hard because I recently lost a 14 year old buddy who was the most
cuddly, gentle cat I've ever known and I was really looking forward to that
kind of relationship with Five.  The fact that she's friendly (until
touched) tells me that there's still hope that Five will become cuddly, but
for the life of me I don't know what to do.  And I always thought I was very
cat savvy...BZZZZT!  I was wrong!

Thanks for any advice you can offer.
- lane

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 Squish_TheCat@yahoo.comm
Priscilla H Ballou - 15 Sep 2003 20:06 GMT
Sounds to me like she needs a play partner.  She's got all this kitten
energy that needs to be let out in practice fighting, and you're the only
one around to let it out on.  Can you adopt a buddy for her?  She really
needs another cat to learn with about acceptable levels of violence, what
hurts (her and the other), and so on.

BTW, my Benjamin didn't like being picked up or cuddled as a kitten.  I
had to firmly hold him on a surface and pet him to teach him about
petting.  Before he was full grown, it was like I hooked him on heroin.  
He couldn't get enough.  Didn't want me to pick him up, though, and wasn't
a lap cat.  Now, five years later, he's become a lap fungus.  He still
doesn't want to be picked up, but if I sit in the recliner in front of the
TV, he'll come drape himself across my lap and purr.  (He's also the one
who from early adulthood on assigned himself as my bed monitor.  He
oversees my teethbrushing, etc., makes sure I'm settled in bed, collects
some pets, brings me a toy (usually), then goes off on his own business.  
In the morning he'll lick my arms or lie on top of me to wake me up.)

Priscilla
Alison Perera - 15 Sep 2003 20:42 GMT
> Sounds to me like she needs a play partner.  She's got all this kitten
> energy that needs to be let out in practice fighting, and you're the only
> one around to let it out on.  Can you adopt a buddy for her?  She really
> needs another cat to learn with about acceptable levels of violence, what
> hurts (her and the other), and so on.

Agree...agree...agree. I took in a 6 week old kitten and by the time her
forever home came along when she was nearly 8 weeks, I and my cats and
my husband were more than ready for a break! I adopted her into a home
with another young cat, and would have insisted on placing her with
another kitten if my husband hadn't been SO insistent that she LEAVE and
let him have uninterrupted, bite-free sleep!

She needs to be trained that A) biting hard hurts; then later comes B)
human hands are NOT for biting and then C) human hands are for petting.
If you raise her by yourself you have to provide constant feedback as to
"how hard is too hard" so that she learns to modify her jaw strength.
Only then can you start teaching her to go lighter and lighter on your
hands. If you have another kitten for her to play with, task (A) will go
much easier with less pain for you!

-Alison in OH
kaeli - 15 Sep 2003 20:33 GMT
> I'm no newcomer to cat ownership (being owned by a cat, that is) and have
> only spent two years of my life without a one.  Recently we took in an
[quoted text clipped - 12 lines]
> like us or that she's not sociable because she really does want to be
> physically close -- as long as she doesn't have to be touched.

4 weeks is very young. She didn't get the interaction she needed to
teach her that biting hurts - interaction usually supplied by Mama and
siblings between 3-8 weeks of age. If you can't get another kitten or
cat for her, you'll need to teach her how to interact.
She is probably interpreting your petting as an invitation to play,
especially if you pet her along the top of her head, neck, or her rump.
All of these are areas other cats will grab to invite play. Petting
along the stomach often induces fear aggression in cats, especially
females. This is just instinct.

Be very, very patient - this can take a while.

Every time she bites you too hard, give a high-piched "Ow!". If she
doesn't immediately stop, put her down away from you and ignore her
completely (don't even look at her) for at least 5 minutes. If she
continues to follow you to bite (many cats do this in play), confine her
to another room for 5 minutes. You might find yourself having to do this
constantly for a couple days. Each time she plays nice and doesn't bite,
praise her. Offer a treat if she likes them. Keep play and petting
sessions short so she has a chance to succeed at not biting. Lengthen as
she progresses. In the meantime, don't invite her to fail - if you know
she bites when you pet her, don't pet her unless you're doing a training
session. Play with toys instead for interaction.
Do training sessions often, but keep them very short. The more chances
she has to succeed at not biting, the faster she'll learn it is better
and more fun for her that way.

Try to see if her body language allows you to catch her just before she
bites (flattened ears, a twitch of the tail, a stiffening of the body).
If you can, catch her just before she bites and set her down away from
you, but don't ignore her. Just talk nice to her and play with a toy
(not your hands) that she can bite, such as a stuffed animal. Redirect
her desire to bite you onto the desire to play with her stuffed toy.

Another kitten or cat would be ideal, as they provide a nice outlet for
rough play as well as a nice teacher for bite inhibition and
socialization.

-------------------------------------------------
~kaeli~
Hey, if you got it flaunt it! If you don't, stare
at someone who does. Just don't lick the TV screen,
it leaves streaks.
http://www.ipwebdesign.net/wildAtHeart
http://www.ipwebdesign.net/kaelisSpace
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Squish The Cat - 15 Sep 2003 21:08 GMT
> 4 weeks is very young. She didn't get the interaction she needed to
> teach her that biting hurts - interaction usually supplied by Mama and
[quoted text clipped - 5 lines]
> along the stomach often induces fear aggression in cats, especially
> females. This is just instinct.

Ah, I suspected as much since she was way too young to be motherless...but
the alternative was unacceptable (let's not even go there.)  Alas, another
kitten is not an option because Pat's allergies are already maxed out with
one cat in the house.  I have no problem with a time-out for Five after she
misbehaves or using toys for aggressive play, but I'm having a hard time
getting my son to understand that he can't play-fight with the kitten using
his hand.  (I'm assuming that this just reinforces the behavior we're trying
to fix...the kid is twelve and has that pre-teen selective hearing thing
going on.)

> Be very, very patient - this can take a while.

"Patient?"  Hmm.  I'm gonna look that up in the dictionary and then I'll get
back to you. :)
Thanks for everyone's help.
-lane
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 Squish_TheCat@yahoo.comm
kaeli - 16 Sep 2003 14:16 GMT
> I have no problem with a time-out for Five after she
> misbehaves or using toys for aggressive play, but I'm having a hard time
> getting my son to understand that he can't play-fight with the kitten using
> his hand.  (I'm assuming that this just reinforces the behavior we're trying
> to fix...the kid is twelve and has that pre-teen selective hearing thing
> going on.)

Yup.
Every time your son does that, he teaches Five how she should interact -
roughly.
When she gets bigger and her teeth and claws get sharper, he'll be sorry
he taught her that.

Cats are pretty smart, though. If you lay down the law on how to
interact with you, that is how she will interact with you. She may be
rough with your son and very gentle with you if you teach her to be that
way.

My Mom's cat is all lovey-dovey with her and a hellion with my Dad, who
likes to play rougher.

-------------------------------------------------
~kaeli~
Hey, if you got it flaunt it! If you don't, stare
at someone who does. Just don't lick the TV screen,
it leaves streaks.
http://www.ipwebdesign.net/wildAtHeart
http://www.ipwebdesign.net/kaelisSpace
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