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Cat Forum / Health and Behavior / March 2005

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Two weeks and still a bit scared....

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Telecomdani@aol.com - 21 Mar 2005 00:45 GMT
As you may recall - my husband and I adopted kitkat 2 weeks ago.  He
was rescued from a abusive home.  He is doing really well - basically
roams the house - but will still not come into the family room if we
are in there. He will only allow me to pet him or play with him in his
room.  He will not allow my husband to play or pet at all.  I assume we
just need more time...?  Also, what do you think about me not going
into his room for his evening playtime - but rather try to entice him
into coming into the family room - only catch - both my husband and I
would be in there...

Thanks for any quidance you can offer..

Danielle
http://homepage.mac.com/roxy6671/KitKat/PhotoAlbum20.html
kitkat - 21 Mar 2005 01:06 GMT
> As you may recall - my husband and I adopted kitkat 2 weeks ago.  He
> was rescued from a abusive home.  He is doing really well - basically
[quoted text clipped - 10 lines]
> Danielle
> http://homepage.mac.com/roxy6671/KitKat/PhotoAlbum20.html

I would say that you are doing just fine so far. He may be afraid of
your husband simply because he is male. If the abuser in the previous
home was a male...that would explain it. I would continue to let KitKat
work at his own pace. Sure you could try to lure him out. Perhaps with
food? But if he is not responsive, continue working on his pace as it
will likely take him a good amount of time to realize that he can trust
humans again. Some suggestions I have seen on this board before would
also include having your husband be the one to fill the food bowls and
let KitKat see him doing it. Then your husband should just walk away,
but hopefully KitKat would associate receiving the food FROM him and
start to loosen up. I think you are doing great! Thanks for giving
KitKat a new, loving home.

Pam
Telecomdani@aol.com - 21 Mar 2005 05:12 GMT
> I would say that you are doing just fine so far. He may be afraid of
> your husband simply because he is male. If the abuser in the previous

> home was a male...that would explain it. I would continue to let KitKat
> work at his own pace. Sure you could try to lure him out. Perhaps with
> food? But if he is not responsive, continue working on his pace as it

> will likely take him a good amount of time to realize that he can trust
> humans again. Some suggestions I have seen on this board before would

> also include having your husband be the one to fill the food bowls and
> let KitKat see him doing it. Then your husband should just walk away,

> but hopefully KitKat would associate receiving the food FROM him and
> start to loosen up. I think you are doing great! Thanks for giving
> KitKat a new, loving home.
>
> Pam

Hi Pam,

Thanks for the suggestion.  Although having kitkat see him filling the
bowl might be a challenge - I think we will try it.

Danielle
Monique Y. Mudama - 21 Mar 2005 19:12 GMT
> Hi Pam,
>
> Thanks for the suggestion.  Although having kitkat see him filling the bowl
> might be a challenge - I think we will try it.
>
> Danielle

I'd think that your cat could smell your husband's scent on the bowls, even if
kitkat never sees him place them.

Signature

monique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully

pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca

Karen - 21 Mar 2005 01:32 GMT
> As you may recall - my husband and I adopted kitkat 2 weeks ago.  He
> was rescued from a abusive home.  He is doing really well - basically
[quoted text clipped - 10 lines]
> Danielle
> http://homepage.mac.com/roxy6671/KitKat/PhotoAlbum20.html

Is there a bed in the room? I sometimes think a sleeping human is
irresistable to a cat. What if hubby laid on the bed and read or napped? he
is such a cute little cat.
Telecomdani@aol.com - 21 Mar 2005 05:13 GMT
Hi Karen,

The room only has his stuff in it.  Kitty condo etc.  :O)  However, he
actually sleeps in our bedroom under my skirted vanitey table.  So who
knows...

Danielle
Priscilla Ballou - 21 Mar 2005 06:02 GMT
> The room only has his stuff in it.  Kitty condo etc.  :O)  However, he
> actually sleeps in our bedroom under my skirted vanitey table.  So who
> knows...

You sure you're not getting a little visitor in the dead of the night?  
Have any dreams about being sniffed by space aliens?  ;-)

When I socializeded Sebastian (feral kitten), I slept in the guestroom
with him about half the time.  He would get up on the bed when I was
supposedly asleep (I should get an Oscar!) and check me out well, long
before he let me pet him.

Priscilla
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"You  can't welcome someone into a body of Christ and then say only
certain rooms are open."  -- dancertm in alt.religion.christian.episcopal

Priscilla Ballou - 21 Mar 2005 04:02 GMT
> As you may recall - my husband and I adopted kitkat 2 weeks ago.  He
> was rescued from a abusive home.  He is doing really well - basically
[quoted text clipped - 5 lines]
> into coming into the family room - only catch - both my husband and I
> would be in there...

Patience.  Two weeks is but a blink of the eye in the recovery of a cat
who's been abused, feral, whatever.  They need to learn to trust again.

I'd say give him as many pets and cuddles as he will tolerate wherever
he'll tolerate them.  In a month or two, then re-evaluate.  But, really,
two weeks is nothing.

You're doing fabulous, BTW.  Gold star to your husband for hanging in
without getting any goodies for himself out of the deal (yet).  Was the
cat abused by a man, by any chance?

Priscilla

P.S.  Extra pets and cuddles for hubby as well?  ;-)
Signature

"You  can't welcome someone into a body of Christ and then say only
certain rooms are open."  -- dancertm in alt.religion.christian.episcopal

Telecomdani@aol.com - 21 Mar 2005 05:13 GMT
Hi Priscilla,

We know specifcally the children were involved because the rescue lady
witnessed it. But we dont' know about the adults.  I can't wait until
he runs into my family room and hops ontop of the paper that I am
trying to read to play - did I just say that??  :O)

Danielle
Priscilla Ballou - 21 Mar 2005 06:02 GMT
> Hi Priscilla,
>
> We know specifcally the children were involved because the rescue lady
> witnessed it. But we dont' know about the adults.  I can't wait until
> he runs into my family room and hops ontop of the paper that I am
> trying to read to play - did I just say that??  :O)

That day may well come.  Hang in there!  

Priscilla
Signature

"You  can't welcome someone into a body of Christ and then say only
certain rooms are open."  -- dancertm in alt.religion.christian.episcopal

Diane L. Schirf - 21 Mar 2005 13:01 GMT
> We know specifcally the children were involved because the rescue lady
> witnessed it. But we dont' know about the adults.  I can't wait until
> he runs into my family room and hops ontop of the paper that I am
> trying to read to play - did I just say that??  :O)

I don't know Hodge's story but when I got him he was a vicious,
dominant, aggressive biter. I've had him for three years, and the
biting, while still occurring occasionally, has declined significantly
(for a year and a half it was extremely stressful, and I've got scars to
prove it). Yesterday, he jumped on my desk and kissed my check.

Patience, Grasshopper.

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http://www.slywy.com/

Adam Helberg - 21 Mar 2005 07:22 GMT
> As you may recall - my husband and I adopted kitkat 2 weeks ago.  He
> was rescued from a abusive home.  He is doing really well - basically
[quoted text clipped - 10 lines]
> Danielle
> http://homepage.mac.com/roxy6671/KitKat/PhotoAlbum20.html

Sweet kitty.

Adam
Iain Halder - 21 Mar 2005 15:06 GMT
>As you may recall - my husband and I adopted kitkat 2 weeks ago.  He
>was rescued from a abusive home.  He is doing really well - basically
[quoted text clipped - 10 lines]
>Danielle
>http://homepage.mac.com/roxy6671/KitKat/PhotoAlbum20.html

Two of my cats took quite a long time to come around when we brought
them in.

BISCUIT took almost a year before she would come onto the bed and only
in the last month has felt bold enough to try and get into the middle.
It took her, I think, a good month before she would come out of her
hiding places and hang-out with the rest of us. She'd dart past you if
she felt she had suddenly been caught. Even now - if she hears the
slightest unfamiliar sound - she'll shoot away to investigate or hide.

MAGI took over six months to come around and now she is quite loveable
but only in the last month has taken to even lying on the bed.

The best thing about taking in older cats or kittens 'with a history'
is that they unravel themselves gradually to you as trust develops.
Every gesture they make towards you which is a positive change in
behaviour is a compliment to your care.

What is funny is the cats do it like it is no big thing, "Why are you
looking so surprised just 'cos I jump onto the bed? By the way can you
make a bit more space in the middle there? I'm a cat and I need to
stretch out."

I think now were I to adopt more cats, I'd pick the older cats -
because in them there is something of an adventure of mutual discovery
to be had.

The trick is to gradually seduce him with food (plenty!); a friendly
non-threatening presence (approach KITKAT from his eye level where
possible); a clean litter tray (which he sees you cleaning) and lots
of warm, soft furnishings!!!

Iain.H
>o< Rescued Cats & Kittens Needing Homes >o<
       >o< www.celiahammond.org >o<
       >o<   www.cat77.org.uk   >o<
 
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