? for those with former ferals

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KellyH - 14 Mar 2005 02:22 GMT

Antonio started doing this thing a few months ago. If I'm standing in one
spot for a while, he will let out his little squeaky meow, and put his front
paws up on my legs. It's as if he wants attention, but he's still wary of
petting. If I go to pet him, he swats. I can only pet him on the bed and
on one cushion of the couch.
He seems so insistant, but I don't know what he wants.
I've had him for a little over a year now. He escaped for over a month back
in Oct-Nov, and came back more vocal and a little more trusting. I thought
for sure we were going to have to start over. Even though I still can't
always pet him (DH can't pet him at all), and can't really pick him up, he's
come a long way.

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-Kelly
kelly at farringtons dot net
"Wake up, and smell the cat food" -TMBG

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Diane L. Schirf - 14 Mar 2005 02:32 GMT

> I've had him for a little over a year now. He escaped for over a month back
> in Oct-Nov, and came back more vocal and a little more trusting. I thought
> for sure we were going to have to start over. Even though I still can't
> always pet him (DH can't pet him at all), and can't really pick him up, he's
> come a long way.

Hodge is hard to pet for more than a moment or two, but oddly he loves
to be picked up and cuddled. It's when you let him loose again that he's
dangerous . . .

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Cheryl - 14 Mar 2005 02:33 GMT

> Antonio started doing this thing a few months ago. If I'm
> standing in one spot for a while, he will let out his little
[quoted text clipped - 8 lines]
> pet him (DH can't pet him at all), and can't really pick him up,
> he's come a long way.

Bonnie wouldn't let me walk up to her to pet her for ages. I
honestly can't remember when it transitioned, but at some point it
was ok for me to walk up to her and pet her head. Usually its only
when she's lounging on the cat tree, but now its also when I come
home from work every day. I have a routine where I pet everyone's
heads and say their name when I come home, and she's recently let
me include her in this ritual, where she used to swat at me if I
tried to touch her when she was on the floor. Its soooo
sloooowwwwwww going Kelly, and it's going on two years with Bonnie!

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Cheryl

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Priscilla Ballou - 14 Mar 2005 02:41 GMT

> Antonio started doing this thing a few months ago. If I'm standing in one
> spot for a while, he will let out his little squeaky meow, and put his front
> paws up on my legs. It's as if he wants attention, but he's still wary of
> petting. If I go to pet him, he swats. I can only pet him on the bed and
> on one cushion of the couch.
> He seems so insistant, but I don't know what he wants.

I'd casually dangle my hand down near him, while looking the other way,
and allow him the opportunity to sniff my fingers is he is so inclined.

If that doesn't appear to be what he wants, I'd keep my hands well up
out of reach, lean over and converse with him -- without staring into
his eyes -- kind of point my ear at him while I conversed.

Priscilla

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"You can't welcome someone into a body of Christ and then say only
certain rooms are open." -- dancertm in alt.religion.christian.episcopal

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KellyH - 14 Mar 2005 03:54 GMT

> I'd casually dangle my hand down near him, while looking the other way,
> and allow him the opportunity to sniff my fingers is he is so inclined.
>
> If that doesn't appear to be what he wants, I'd keep my hands well up
> out of reach, lean over and converse with him -- without staring into
> his eyes -- kind of point my ear at him while I conversed.

Good ideas! Thanks :)

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-Kelly
kelly at farringtons dot net
"Wake up, and smell the cat food" -TMBG

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John Doe - 14 Mar 2005 04:12 GMT

>Antonio started doing this thing a few months ago. If I'm standing
>in one spot for a while, he will let out his little squeaky meow,
[quoted text clipped - 7 lines]
>Even though I still can't always pet him (DH can't pet him at all),
>and can't really pick him up, he's come a long way.

I think shy pets don't necessarily need physical contact, and cats
are very keen with their senses (in other words, maybe they get more
out of the situation than you might guess).

Shortly after I caught Kitty, I was cuddling him and everything
seemed okay until suddenly he reached up and clawed just above my
eyeball. I blamed it on him not being able to get away easily, so
now I make sure he is able to easily escape from my attention, so I
can knock his head off if he does that again [playing, sort of].

I agree with the other that a scratch on the head is something good
which is short of petting.

Kitty doesn't touch noses, however he likes to smell my hair,
usually with my hands at my side or on the floor. However risky,
seems to me that putting your face close to a pet cat is OK as long
as they are not being held. Seems it is a sign of trust. It
certainly feels like it.

As already said. I think dangling the hand and avoiding eye contact
are common good methods.

This is maybe off topic because, I suppose, if you aren't very
gentle at first maybe it could cause more problems. My cats respond
to a beating with the paper tube from a roll of paper towels. I
figured Kitty might think it fun too so I started very gently/slowly
and now one response is to scratch on something. Besides exercise,
I think they scratch to show off or as a sign that they want to
play. The fake beating appears to be understood as "time to play".
Maybe they are thinking "is that all you got?"

Good luck.

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BarB - 14 Mar 2005 19:01 GMT

I feed a colony of ferals who have been neutered/ spayed. Some will
let me touch their heads when they are eating, but one little female
will run up and swat me if she thinks I'm going to touch one of the
others. The other day she swatted one of the other cats who tried to
come inside.

BarB

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Hemmaholic - 15 Mar 2005 23:05 GMT

BarB,

Sounds to me that this little female is the matriarch of the group and
is protecting the status-quo!

Without looking her in the eye, gently talk to her and let her know you
mean no harm and it is not necessary for her to be so protective. Of
course, you should simply recite any soothing poem or song lyric and it
would have the same results, keeping you calm and also helping to
impose a clam atmosphere with all the kitties.

I care for a small colony of ferals myself, and everyone, though
related, have different personalities. One I can once again pick up,
if he is so disposed as to allow me! Today I was finally able to
verify the he IS a he! The most shy of the group wouldn't even show
"herself" for the longest time. Finally she did, but would quickly
disappear if I made even one step toward her. The last few days she
has stayed put while I slowly approach to show her the food had been
put into the feed dish and tell her to go eat. Today she looked right
into my eyes with those huge amber eyes of hers and went straight to
the shelter where I put their food. That was a very rewarding feeling!

This colony is scheduled for TNR this weekend and I will probably have
to start all over again with the taming process. Since they will be
released to what they know to be a safe place with abundant food, I am
hoping they calm down within a day or two. Time will tell.

Good luck with your colony and keep taking to them and caring for them.
It is a very good thing that you are doing and the kitties will thank
you for all of your efforts, each in their own way.

Hemma

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Tom S - 15 Mar 2005 23:59 GMT

>Antonio started doing this thing a few months ago. If I'm standing in one
>spot for a while, he will let out his little squeaky meow, and put his front
[quoted text clipped - 7 lines]
>always pet him (DH can't pet him at all), and can't really pick him up, he's
>come a long way.

I let Furface come to me and control the pace of the contact. Usually
I would just sit on the sofa and watch tv, etc. at first he would
just sit on the other end and stare at me. He progressed to
sitting/lying on the cushion beside me.it took about six months for
him to get to the point where he would crawl into my lap and accept
some petting and scratching behind the ear. That was also about the
time he started sleeping with me. He eventually got to the point
where he would sit on the sofa, or the computer desk and meow until I
came and sat down so he could get in my lap.

I got him inside when he was about 6 months old. And up until he died
a couple of weeks ago, at age 15, that was the only time he seemed to
tolerate affection. But, he insisted on an hour or so every night.

Tom

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Mary - 16 Mar 2005 01:06 GMT

> >Antonio started doing this thing a few months ago. If I'm standing in one
> >spot for a while, he will let out his little squeaky meow, and put his front
[quoted text clipped - 23 lines]
>
> Tom

Furface sounds like a wonderful cat for whom you did something
wonderful--gave him a good, loving home and respected his
comfort zones. You must miss him.

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Brian Link - 16 Mar 2005 07:47 GMT

Just from my cat-body-language experience, I'd offer the following:

If he touches your leg, simply squat down so you're closer to
eye-level with him. Don't touch him. Regard him from there for a
while, and see what he does. He'll most probably arch his back and
move away. If he touches your leg again, sit down.

Do this for few days, and then have a treat ready. When he taps your
leg, squat down and toss the treat near him. Don't hand it to him.

This is like the approach folks like Jane Goodall and other wild
animal researchers have used. Imagine a grid between you and your
cat.. your goal is to close the distance one square at a time, over
time. When the cat is happy with the current increment, move it one
further. The animal will tell you when you've gone too far.. =)

You may get to the point where you can pet Antonio, but you may not.
Even with domesticated mutts, I find that often they have a comfort
distance - this may not be your preferred distance, but it will allow
both of you to enjoy each others' company in the house.

Just my 2c worth.

BLink

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KellyH - 17 Mar 2005 01:05 GMT

> Just from my cat-body-language experience, I'd offer the following:
>
[quoted text clipped - 18 lines]
>
> Just my 2c worth.

Very good suggestions! I'll give them a try. While I was petting him on
the bed today, he showed me his belly. I was so proud of him, it's only the
second time he's done that.

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-Kelly
kelly at farringtons dot net
"Wake up, and smell the cat food" -TMBG

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-L. - 16 Mar 2005 07:51 GMT

Just let him smell your hand (fist closed - sort of slide it down
toward him). He may want to mark you.

FWIW, the folks at SVFF.org are great. I know Jan personally and she
has a *lot* of experience with ferals.

-L.

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