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Cat Forum / Health and Behavior / July 2005Oops..I lost my temper dammit
I'm a new first time cat owner who adopted a nice 1 year old male who for the most part is very happy and contented but certainly likes to push the limits. Not knowing better,I allowed the cat to roam mostly wherever it wanted when it first came home but now he wants to get in the way in the kitchen and that includes grabbing meat or fish that is defrosting on the counter..I lost my temper last-night when he grabbed some hamburger while I was out of the room..I ended up slapping him and putting him in his carrier then putting him outside for an hour..it was cold and I couldn't leave him any longer and I'm not sure that will do any good anyway. I've tried putting sticky tape down,spraying him and yelling NO when I catch him but to no avail..somewhere I read I need to train ME..any suggestions. > I'm a new first time cat owner who adopted a nice 1 year old male who for > the most part is very happy and contented but certainly likes to push the [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > sticky tape down,spraying him and yelling NO when I catch him but to no > avail..somewhere I read I need to train ME..any suggestions. What was the point in putting him outside?  Signaturemonique, roommate of Oscar the (female) grouch ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eros was adopted! Eros has a home now! *cheer!* >> I'm a new first time cat owner who adopted a nice 1 year old male who for >> the most part is very happy and contented but certainly likes to push the [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] >> sticky tape down,spraying him and yelling NO when I catch him but to no >> avail..somewhere I read I need to train ME..any suggestions. Yes. Set any unattended food in the microwave or the (cold) oven. Don't tempt the cat. And you're right. Setting him out in the cold didn't solve a thing. Sherry >>> I'm a new first time cat owner who adopted a nice 1 year old male who >>> for [quoted text clipped - 21 lines] > > Sherry As a matter of fact, setting a cat out in the cold *in a cat carrier* is both abusive and *dangerous.* This is far worse than a cat that is outdoors on its own because this poor cat could not go anywhere to seek shelter, and it was probably terrified. I realize that this is a first-time cat owner and and I hope he will learn from this. It really does no good to try to to discipline a cat in this way because the cat will not understand any relationship between the two events. Moreover, it is counterproductive because the most likely scenario is that the cat will learn to fear and distrust the owner. In the future you could simply pick up the cat, say "no," and place it on the floor if it grabs for your food. If necessary, place it in another room while you are cooking. If you have to leave your food unattended, place it someplace out of the cat's reach. Sherry already suggested the microwave or oven. You could also simply place it in a cupboard, as long as you will only be out of the room for a few minutes. MaryL Photos of Duffy and Holly: >'o'< http://tinyurl.com/8y54 (Introducing Duffy to Holly) http://tinyurl.com/8y56 (Duffy and Holly "settle in") > If you have to leave your food unattended, place it someplace out of the > cat's reach. Sherry already suggested the microwave or oven. You could > also simply place it in a cupboard, as long as you will only be out of the > room for a few minutes. Indeed - cats can be quite creative in finding ways to open cabinet doors. Putting food there won't work with my hooligans. Most of my cabinets are fitted with plastic latches that only allow the door to be moved about 1 inch. Didn't take long for Spot to figure out how to hook the latch with his paw and pull down on it. Being plastic it gives easily enough for him to open this way with no problem. > As a matter of fact, setting a cat out in the cold *in a cat carrier* is > both abusive and *dangerous.* It was 5?F here last night! Frostbite weather. Wonder what it was in the OP's area. Signaturehttp://www.slywy.com/pages/hodge.html >> I'm a new first time cat owner who adopted a nice 1 year old male who for >> the most part is very happy and contented but certainly likes to push the >> limits. He's a young cat. This is normal. >I lost my temper last-night when he grabbed some hamburger while I >> was out of the room..I ended up slapping him and putting him in his carrier >> then putting him outside for an hour..it was cold If this post is true and not a troll, then I highly recommend getting counseling for your anger problem. You should also learn about cats. A good book for new owners is The New Natural Cat by Anitra Frazier. It will help you learn about cats and what works best in training them. Physical punishment will not work. The cat will only fear you. Imagine a being 10 times or more your weight hitting you. Get the picture? If you can't treat the cat with kindness, I suggest you find him a good home where he will be treated right. Lauren ________ See my cats: http://community.webshots.com/album/56955940rWhxAe Raw Diet Info: http://www.holisticat.com/drjletter.html http://www.geocities.com/rawfeeders/ForCatsOnly.html Declawing Info: http://www.wholecatjournal.com/articles/claws.htm (...) > >I lost my temper last-night when he grabbed some hamburger while I > >> was out of the room..I ended up slapping him and putting him in his carrier > >> then putting him outside for an hour..it was cold > > If this post is true and not a troll, then I highly recommend getting > counseling for your anger problem. Bad advice, unless the OP has a history of lost temper after but minor provocation. We all lose our tempers from time to time, and the OP obviously realised that his actions were incorrect. You do not know the OP's situation at the time, and are in no position to give a diagnosis - even if you happened to be a shrink. > You should also learn about cats. That'll be why he posted here, then. > book for new owners is The New Natural Cat by Anitra Frazier. It will help you > learn about cats and what works best in training them. Physical punishment > will not work. Well, the bigger picture is: physical punishment that's associated with the owner will not work in the way the owner expects! But your shorter line gets to the heart of the matter. (...) > If you can't treat the cat with kindness, I suggest you find him a good home > where he will be treated right. Er, the OP knows he did wrong and is here for advice - suggests he's at least open to suggestions, and to treating the cat with kindness. Suggesting he give up the cat is a bit of a bloody silly suggestion really, based on the evidence so far. Steve. > Bad advice, unless the OP has a history of lost temper after but minor > provocation. We all lose our tempers from time to time, and the OP > obviously realised that his actions were incorrect. But he left the animal outside, in the cold, for an *hour.* That's a bit more than a quickie hissy fit. Signaturehttp://www.slywy.com/pages/hodge.html >From: "Steve G" news@stevethepsycho.co.uk >On 2005-01-18, mystro penned: >(...) [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] >OP's situation at the time, and are in no position to give a diagnosis >- even if you happened to be a shrink. Firstly, I did not give a diagnosis. In fact, I recommended he go to a professional for help. Secondly, sure we all lose our tempers, myself included, but most of us don't take it out on an innocent animal by hitting the animal, caging it and putting it out in freezing weather. Don't you think that is a bit extreme for just losing his temper? I sure do. Lauren ________ See my cats: http://community.webshots.com/album/56955940rWhxAe Raw Diet Info: http://www.holisticat.com/drjletter.html http://www.geocities.com/rawfeeders/ForCatsOnly.html Declawing Info: http://www.wholecatjournal.com/articles/claws.htm (...) > Firstly, I did not give a diagnosis. Near as dammit. A meta-diagnosis, anyway! > Secondly, sure we all lose our tempers, myself > included, but most of us don't take it out on an innocent > animal by hitting the animal, caging it and putting it out in > freezing weather. Don't you think that > is a bit extreme for just losing his temper? Yes, it's a bit extreme, but... The OP said he is not familiar with cats, and so he probably did not know that hitting a cat is a Bad Thing. Moreover, 'hitting' in some contexts is usually considered OK, such as a light-but-firm (hm, sounds a bit erotic) tap to the nose. He also clearly did not know how long a punishment should last, nor what 'appropriate' punishments might be. Some of this might seem like common sense, but you'd be surprised at what some people new to pets think. Now, if the OP feels a Hulk Moment coming on again, and he finds himself once more stomping atop the cat's noggin, then he may have A Problem. But until then, he's potentially a caring cat chap. Steve. > I'm a new first time cat owner who adopted a nice 1 year old male who > for the most part is very happy and contented but certainly likes to [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > down,spraying him and yelling NO when I catch him but to no > avail..somewhere I read I need to train ME..any suggestions. That was not a bright idea. The cat has NO idea what that was about and just made a real dent in your bonding with it and trust. Yes, another room while you are preparing food, but what you did was just cruel. NEVER hit a cat. It is just going to make the cat fear you. It's an animal. If you leave food out it does not know "this is not mine". Cats are smart. I don't have a lot of training tips because my cats simply never did this. Although we did have one that went nuts for turkey when we made it and was pushy, but we just put her in the bedroom until supper was over and cleared up, then we gave her some when we let her out for her own. >I'm a new first time cat owner who adopted a nice 1 year old male who >for the most part is very happy and contented but certainly likes to [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] >down,spraying him and yelling NO when I catch him but to no >avail..somewhere I read I need to train ME..any suggestions. First - be kind to your cat and he'll love you, be mean, and he'll fear you. Long lasting stuff like you did will just make him miserable, and he'll have no idea why you're treating him so badly. Hitting cats isn't great either. If a cat really annoys me I just chase it shouting at t he top of my voice - makes me feel better, and does them no harm. What you need is a short sharp unpleasant response exactly when the cat (or any animal really) is doing the thing you don't want it to do - waiting even 10 seconds makes punishment futile. I blow really hard on my cats - right in their faces, they hate it, and there is a poster here who rattles a tin of marbles? at his. Very soon just hinting that you'll do something like that will make the cat stop. But, you've got to know cats are much cleverer than dogs :-) - and so if you aren't there, they'll still apply their rules, not yours, if you leave food out with cats about, you're right - you need a bit of training. Our cats don't go on the work surfaces (like only 1% of the time ;-) because there's never any food on them. Jim (just a cat co-habitee) > Hitting cats isn't great either. If a cat really annoys me I just chase it > shouting at t he top of my voice - makes me feel better, and does them no harm. There's always something that a cat can't stand that will stop just about any behavior instantly. My tribe cannot stand the sound of my wife sneezing. All I have to do is mimmic one of her sneezes and they leave the area immediately. >> Hitting cats isn't great either. If a cat really annoys me I just chase it >> shouting at t he top of my voice - makes me feel better, and does them no [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > All I have to do is mimmic one of her sneezes and they leave the area > immediately. Two mine act like a minor nuclear explosion has occurred if I sneeze any where near them. If they are ON me you see leaps of extraordinary height. >From: "RobZip" RobZip@takethisout.eudora.com >My tribe cannot stand the sound of my wife sneezing. >All I have to do is mimmic one of her sneezes and they leave the area >immediately. That's funny! When I sneeze, one of my cats comes running TO me, acting very concerned. Lauren ________ See my cats: http://community.webshots.com/album/56955940rWhxAe Raw Diet Info: http://www.holisticat.com/drjletter.html http://www.geocities.com/rawfeeders/ForCatsOnly.html Declawing Info: http://www.wholecatjournal.com/articles/claws.htm > >From: "RobZip" RobZip@takethisout.eudora.com > [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > That's funny! When I sneeze, one of my cats comes running TO me, acting very > concerned. When I sneeze Cheeks looks alarmed and comes to peer into my face, like, "Are you OK??" Buddha on the other hand stops whatever she's doing and looks at me until she had decided I am not going to blow up or something. I can just see her thinking, "Hmmm ... should I run? I'm awfully comfortable ... let's just wait and see ..." Buddha is a very contemplative creature. :) >There's always something that a cat can't stand that will stop just about >any behavior instantly. My tribe cannot stand the sound of my wife sneezing. >All I have to do is mimmic one of her sneezes and they leave the area >immediately. My mom's dog gets excited and starts barking. Even if you just make the facial scrunch before the sneeze, she will react. Signature-- Meghan & the Zoo Crew Equine and Pet Photography http://www.zoocrewphoto.com > Our cats don't go on the work surfaces (like only 1% of the time ;-) > because > there's never any food on them. I agree, whenever the cat jumps on the work surface just shout "NO" and move them down. Remember their hearing is about 10 times more sensitive than humans so don't shout too close to their ears. Mike Try doing that with a Japanese Bobtail. My Icarus is pretty stubborn when you yell at him to get down and give him a firm NO. Back it up with a squirt bottle and he gets the message. Of course a few days later he is back up where he shouldn't be if I am not in the area. Then I end up repeating everything. Of course, Icarus is starting to do it less frequently now. SignatureCat Galaxy: All Cats! All The Time! www.catgalaxymedia.com Panther TEK: Staying On Top Of Your Computer Needs! www.panthertekit.com "Mike" <mike_tlnoREMOVE@hotmail.com> wrote in message news:gH7Hd.228 > I agree, whenever the cat jumps on the work surface just shout "NO" and > move them down. Remember their hearing is about 10 times more sensitive > than humans so don't shout too close to their ears. > > Mike > But, you've got to know cats are much cleverer than dogs :-) - and so if > you aren't there, they'll still apply their rules, not yours, if you leave > food out with cats about, you're right - you need a bit of training. Dogs do exactly the same thing. Have you never seen the videos showing what the "perfectly behaved dog" does while mommy's gone? Signaturemonique, roommate of Oscar the (female) grouch ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eros was adopted! Eros has a home now! *cheer!* That is pretty cruel to put him outside in a carrier in the freezing cold, especially when someone could just walk off with him or he can encounter a predator and have no means of escape. I recommend defrosting your food in the refrigerator overnight and then keep spraying him with a squirt bottle full of water and back that up with a firm NO. SignatureCat Galaxy: All Cats! All The Time! www.catgalaxymedia.com Panther TEK: Staying On Top Of Your Computer Needs! www.panthertekit.com > I'm a new first time cat owner who adopted a nice 1 year old male who > for the most part is very happy and contented but certainly likes to [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > down,spraying him and yelling NO when I catch him but to no > avail..somewhere I read I need to train ME..any suggestions. > I'm a new first time cat owner who > adopted a nice 1 year old male who for > the most part is very happy and > contented but certainly likes to push > the limits. The first thing you need to understand is that what some people perceive as a cat "pushing the limits" is in reality a cat just being a cat. Taking a cat's natural behavior as a personal affront can, and already has, taken you down a dangerous path that has resulted in this poor cat being abused. >Not knowing better,I allowed > the cat to roam mostly wherever it [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > or fish that is defrosting on the > counter.. A cat doesn't know that the meat you left out is off limits. If you don't want your cat to get into food, don't leave it out. You can put it in the microwave, a cupboard, or another option is get a small plastic shoebox size storage box with a tight lid and put whatever you're defrosting in there. >I lost my temper last-night > when he grabbed some hamburger while I [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > and I'm not sure that will do any good > anyway. If this is the way you responded for something as small as him getting into food left out, you really should find a new home for this cat. Abusing a small animal the way you did is inexcusable and your havng this type of reaction to what was a small infraction leads me to believe you have some pretty serious anger management issues. If you intend to keep this cat, you should seriously consider getting some counseling. You are also going to have to learn and understand cat behavior, and learn to handle things in only a positive manner. Hitting your cat and then putting it outside in a carrier where there is no escape in freezing weather is extremely cruel and will only cause your cat to fear you. You must never, ever do this to him again. >I've tried putting sticky tape > down,spraying him and yelling NO when I > catch him but to no avail..somewhere I > read I need to train ME..any > suggestions. Someone in the group has had luck with this product: http://www.drsfostersmith.com/product/prod_display.cfm?pcatid=3453&Ntt=tattle%20 tale&Ntk=All&Ntx=mode+matchallpartial&Np=1&N=0&Nty=1 If you want a cat to stop doing something, your best bet is to distract him using positive means (a happy voice, toys treats, etc.) and get him involved in something else. Yelling, squirting and other means of "punishment" do not work and will make your cat fear you. If your cat likes to be on counters, it may be because he likes to be up high. A *tall* cat tree placed by a window with a good view is one of the best things you can give your cat and will be much more attractive than the counter. Megan Signature"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." -Edmund Burke Learn The TRUTH About Declawing http://www.stopdeclaw.com Zuzu's Cats Photo Album: http://www.PictureTrail.com/zuzu22 "Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way." - W.H. Murray Thanks to everyone who contributed some thoughts not only on my cats behavior but also mine..I've learned several lessons here and I will certainly make some changes that both me and "pete" can live comfortably with. I have four cats and a little squirt of water (not in the face or ear area) and a firm no seems to work best. Be patient, if it is a kitten its behavior will greatly improve in time. Kittens are into everything and don't know what food left out is not for them. I remember my first cat. It was Thanksgiving and I had two pumpkin pies on the counter. When I went to serve them, my little fellow had nibbled on both of them. But, I thought it was cute and just was more careful next time. The patience will pay off tenfold in the love and affection you will receive. > I have four cats and a little squirt of water (not in the face or ear area) > and a firm no seems to work best. Be patient, if it is a kitten its [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > it was cute and just was more careful next time. The patience will pay off > tenfold in the love and affection you will receive. Kittens are definitely much bigger trouble makers than (most) adult cats. When Oscar was a kitten, she would swat objects down from ledges just to get a rise out of me. She also destroyed all of the blinds in my apartment, and I had to put away the Christmas lights I had in my office because she would alternately chew on them and climb them. Kittens also have seemingly supernatural athletic abilities, allowing them to get *everywhere* you don't want them to be. Signaturemonique, roommate of Oscar the (female) grouch ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eros was adopted! Eros has a home now! *cheer!* > I'm a new first time cat owner who adopted a nice 1 year old male who > for the most part is very happy and contented but certainly likes to [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > down,spraying him and yelling NO when I catch him but to no > avail..somewhere I read I need to train ME..any suggestions. I don't know about your neck of the woods but in UK smacking a child is a crime and should be for animal abuse. Smacking leads to hitting then punching with a closed fist then worse. Next thing is a Court appearance. You clearly need help and a Counsellor can teach you anger management. It will mean giving up time for attending classes, but hey, you accepted that when you got a cat. In your favour, at least you recognise that you have a problem. Seek qualified help - quickly, and become a better person. Sounds like the cat has already sussed out your personality weaknesses We've only owned Chloe for a couple of months and been through the same exasperations but would NEVER smack her, even though I have to vacuum up her lost hairs many times a day. We have bonded so that she won't eat before we do even though food is available all day ad lib -her choice, not ours, and she never steals food or milk. Just look at your cat, hard. If you don't see love and respect in his eyes then you've lost already!!! Good Luck. Tony. Icedog > I don't know about your neck of the woods but in UK smacking a child is a > crime and should be for animal abuse. Smacking leads to hitting then [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > problem. Seek qualified help - quickly, and become a better person. Sounds > like the cat has already sussed out your personality weaknesses Um. A "smack" could mean a wide variety of things. I have certainly "bapped" Oscar a time or two, and she seems none the worse for wear, and I would never hit or punch her, or smack her with any force. Now, if a person is very angry, it's probably a bad idea to touch the cat, as the person might not have the control to softly "bap" and could instead really hurt the little one. Signaturemonique, roommate of Oscar the (female) grouch ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eros was adopted! Eros has a home now! *cheer!* Some cats can be trained with enough patience on your part -- you have to know how much punishment to give without doing permanent damage to the cat. Some cats are just plain stupid and you'll end up killing them before they learn. Either way, it is much easier to train yourself. Ray > I'm a new first time cat owner who adopted a nice 1 year old male who > for the most part is very happy and contented but certainly likes to [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > down,spraying him and yelling NO when I catch him but to no > avail..somewhere I read I need to train ME..any suggestions. > I'm a new first time cat owner who adopted a nice 1 year old male who > for the most part is very happy and contented but certainly likes to [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > down,spraying him and yelling NO when I catch him but to no > avail..somewhere I read I need to train ME..any suggestions. Yes, you need to train yourself to do things differently. Cats are hunters by nature so don't leave things out to entice them. A suggestion: when it is time to prepare your dinner, feed your cat first. MLB > Yes, you need to train yourself to do things differently. Cats are > hunters by nature so don't leave things out to entice them. A > suggestion: when it is time to prepare your dinner, feed your cat first. > MLB Wow, talk about reviving an old thread! You're not trying to turn this into a cat newsgroup, are you? Candace >> Yes, you need to train yourself to do things differently. Cats are >> hunters by nature so don't leave things out to entice them. A [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > > Candace Something weird has happened this PM. This is one of nine old posts of mine that have popped up on the monitor I have been deleting old messages and must have stirred something up I cannot explain it. MLB > >> Yes, you need to train yourself to do things differently. Cats are > >> hunters by nature so don't leave things out to entice them. A [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > mine that have popped up on the monitor I have been deleting old > messages and must have stirred something up I cannot explain it. MLB It's been happening me also, I thought it was my mailer. > > >> Yes, you need to train yourself to do things differently. Cats are > > >> hunters by nature so don't leave things out to entice them. A [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > > It's been happening me also, I thought it was my mailer. You must be using google. I think when you del your post, that chair gets filled, therefore it acts as a new post to your cookie, if you're using google have you tried the "Tree View" and also "View Titles Only" somthing like that. Then you won't see the old posts > > > >> Yes, you need to train yourself to do things differently. Cats are > > > >> hunters by nature so don't leave things out to entice them. A [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > using google have you tried the "Tree View" and also "View Titles Only" > somthing like that. Then you won't see the old posts I'm using OE >> > > >> Yes, you need to train yourself to do things differently. Cats >> > > >> are hunters by nature so don't leave things out to entice them. [quoted text clipped - 22 lines] >> > I'm using OE I am using Pan (Linux) MLB |
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