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Cat Forum / Health and Behavior / December 2004Cat Forever Snobby
We have 3 cats, 2 of them are about the same age & are from the same litter. One of them is just an out & out snob, any time either my wife or myself EVER attempt to hold her, no matter how gently & slowly we approach, she inevitably runs away refusing to be allowed to be touched & when we do get her we pet her VERY lovingly but within 10 seconds she's screaming to be put down. I don't like this behavior. It's snotty. It's a matter of turning your nose up at me. My perspective: I OWN you, I feed you, I give you a home, and all I'm trying to do is hold you for maybe 30 seconds TOTAL, that's it. And you're going to be a snob about it? As if. Again, I OWN you, you don't have the right to dissent. If I want to hold you, I hold you. Case closed. Is this cat EVER going to get the message? Or should she be sent to a pet shelter where she can live in a cage where it's guaranteed NO one will ever get around to holding her; she sure would seem to prefer that. LRH Hey, that;s how she is. If she's still young then it may change over the years, but there's no way to tell for sure. She loves you, she just doesn't show it in the way you prefer. You may feed her, but I've never known any living creature whose personality is not just what it is, regardless of what anybody else wants. Heck, if you've got three cats, then that's two left for snuggling. What's the problem? Don't get into a power struggle with your own cat. It's dumb. Just accept her the way she is. And if she's not friendly and not a kitten, most likely she wouldn't live in a shelter at all. You know that. Just let her be and stop thinking it's about you. It's not. Nevermind on my last post about posting on AOL boards. I think I need my morning coffee.......... ________ See my cats: http://community.webshots.com/album/56955940rWhxAe Raw Diet Info: http://www.holisticat.com/drjletter.html http://www.geocities.com/rawfeeders/ForCatsOnly.html Declawing Info: http://www.wholecatjournal.com/articles/claws.htm > We have 3 cats, 2 of them are about the same age & are from the same litter. > One of them is just an out & out snob, any time either my wife or myself [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] > > LRH This has GOT to be a troll. If not, you are the most self centered SOB I've ever encountered. Just like people cats have personalities and some cats do not like to be held. It doesn't make them snotty, it makes them cats with their own personality. > Just like people cats have personalities and some cats do > not like to be held. It doesn't make them snotty, it makes them cats with > their own personality. In my book, it's snotty. That's it, case closed. And it's unacceptable behavior in my house. I take you in because, yes, 95% of the time I'm just going to sit back while you play and do your own thing. But every now & then, with you looking so cute & cuddly, I'm going to want to pick you up and hold you, probably for 25-30 seconds at which time I've had my fill and you can go on with yourself. Big deal. What's so criminal about that? And I'm thinking--as such, how DARE you protest something so innocent as me wanting to--egads!--hold you for 25 seconds. I can have 35 other cats in my house that are not snobby, and still I won't allow even one to be that way. It's just unacceptable. If there is some way to make it be something else, if there is some mannerisms I can undertake which increase the likelihood she will stop being SNOTTY, then I am willing to try. But I most certainly WILL NOT accept her as she is. Not a chance. She's here to be my pet, and that means her focus is pleasing me and that's the end of the discussion as far as that goes. If it's not her personality, she will be rehomed. Either that, or she may find herself caged up right here, FORCED to be in a position where she can't run and hide and disassociate herself. Either way, it won't be a power "struggle," because she will lose. She can lose the easy way, or the hard way. Or, again, if there is a certain way I can be with her that makes her un-snotty that isn't a power struggle but a way of bringing her around, I'll all for doing it that way. LRHs > > Just like people cats have personalities and some cats do > > not like to be held. It doesn't make them snotty, it makes them cats with [quoted text clipped - 25 lines] > un-snotty that isn't a power struggle but a way of bringing her around, I'll > all for doing it that way. No, you have to be a troll. No-one can be this ignorant.  SignatureI.P.Freely >>Just like people cats have personalities and some cats do >>not like to be held. It doesn't make them snotty, it makes them cats with [quoted text clipped - 27 lines] > > LRHs Seems to me you have a personality issue, not a cat issue. Are you so insecure that the non-compliance from one little critter threatens your ego? If you treat the humans in your life this way, I will guess you will be, or are, a very lonely person. >> Just like people cats have personalities and some cats do >> not like to be held. It doesn't make them snotty, it makes them cats with [quoted text clipped - 27 lines] > > LRHs You are a freak. The cat is NOT being a snob. Some cats don't like being held. If you are for real, you would have known the response when posting here. You are a troll and an SOB. > You are a freak. The cat is NOT being a snob. Some cats don't > like being held. If you are for real, you would have known the > response when posting here. You are a troll and an SOB. Na, Karen, he's just an a.shole. He has had this same posting style for almost a year now, that I know of. In fact, he probably will rehome the cat. Last year he posted about having a kitten, then getting a playmate for the kitten, then about getting two kittens more recently, yet he only has 3 cats now. I remember something about inappropriate elimination being one problem last year. SOB probably did rehome it rather than deal with it. SignatureCheryl >From: "Larry R Harrison Jr" noone@noone.com >If it's not her personality, she will be rehomed. Either that, or she may >find herself caged up right here, FORCED to be in a position where she can't [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] >un-snotty that isn't a power struggle but a way of bringing her around, I'll >all for doing it that way. Either you're a troll or a sick bastard. ________ See my cats: http://community.webshots.com/album/56955940rWhxAe Raw Diet Info: http://www.holisticat.com/drjletter.html http://www.geocities.com/rawfeeders/ForCatsOnly.html Declawing Info: http://www.wholecatjournal.com/articles/claws.htm On Fri, 10 Dec 2004 23:12:31 -0700, "Larry R Harrison Jr" <SNIP> >In my book, it's snotty. That's it, case closed. And it's unacceptable >behavior in my house. I take you in because, yes, 95% of the time I'm just [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] >I'm thinking--as such, how DARE you protest something so innocent as me >wanting to--egads!--hold you for 25 seconds. <SNIP> troll qual-o-meter® 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 !----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----! /\ !! >I don't like this behavior. It's snotty. It's a matter of turning your nose >up at me. My perspective: I OWN you, I feed you, I give you a home, and all [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > >LRH I"d suggest you read your post objectively and realize how idiotic you sound. "I don't like this behavior. It's snotty." Pa-leeze. It's a cat. It's not "snotty"; it doesn't show "appreciation" for your food and shelter. You just don't know squat about cats. Some cats do not like to be held. Period. You can stroke them, pet them, just don't pick them up. What the hell do you think you have to "hold" her, anyway? Control issues? Can't you pet her on *her* terms? > Some cats do not like to be held. Period. Tough. She's going to be held whether she likes it or not. In fact, the more you protest, the more I'll hold you, just to show what you want doesn't mean squat. > You can stroke them, pet them, just > don't pick them up. What the hell do you think you have to "hold" her, > anyway? Because otherwise having her as a pet is totally pointless. To me, that's like saying, "it's a car, why do you think you have to drive them anyway?" > Control issues? Can't you pet her on *her* terms? No, she is owned by me, so it's on MY terms. Period. LRH -----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE----- From: "Larry R Harrison Jr" <noone@noone.com> >Tough. She's going to be held whether she likes it or not. In fact, the more >you protest, the more I'll hold you, just to show what you want doesn't mean >squat. Oh, give the cat a break. I'll bet most people don't like being too close to you, either! Okay, call me a "troll." I'm not. I really feel the way I feel. Even my wife--who is a much gentler soul than me--was complaining about it. "I just want to hold you" she would say, and would then put the cat down "fine, be that way." I don't blame her. I am sorry for being snappy in my tone. Believe me, with our cats, I'm not trying to be domineering per se. There are many things I let all 3 do, totally independently. I don't really ask much, I don't want them hopping up on the kitchen table and maybe 1 or 2 other spots total, but otherwise they can run all they want wherever & it doesn't bother me. I don't expect them to come to me when I call them, like a dog. But I just don't like them being snotty and acting like being held is the worst thing since having her tail pulled. They may not mean it as a form of rejection, but it is what I consider it to be. I like to hold a cat, not for long, just long enough to kiss them and rub them a bit and then put them right down. After that, I'm plenty satisfied. It defeats the purpose of having them if you can't do this. Yes, it DOES have to be on my own issues, not theirs. I chose to take them into my home, because I expected certain things. If I'm not going to get what I expect, why continue to have them? But at the same time, if their behavior can be modified, why not try? In particular, 2 of the cats are practical twins, and the "snobby" one is one of those 2. They play together & sleep together, and it's cute; you don't want to split that up. But if 1 of the 2 is going to be a snob, maybe it should live somewhere else, because snobbiness is unacceptable to me. And it's not just me. I googled "cat not like be held" and saw a number of postings where people were frustrated that their cat wouldn't let them hold them without resistence. It is a letdown for many of us. It's not something we want to live with. It defeats the whole purpose of having a cat if you can't hold it without difficulties. It's like having a horse that doesn't want to be ridden; why have a horse otherwise? Just to look pretty in the pasture? Sorry, that's a waste. If I can't ride a horse, it's worthless. It sure wouldn't have been worth much in the days before we had cars, especially. Same with cats. You get them, at least I do, to HOLD them--even if it's just 20 seconds off & on during the day. And again we're so far keeping the snotty one because it's part of the twin-set of one of the others; they totally are twins and play/sleep together totally consistent that way. So you would rather not break it up. But snobbiness is unacceptable, it just is. It doesn't mean we who hate this have "control issues." That's like saying those who have cars which don't start and are upset over it have "low quality intolerance." Please. LRH > But I just don't like them being snotty and acting like being held is the > worst thing since having her tail pulled. They may not mean it as a form of > rejection, but it is what I consider it to be. I like to hold a cat, not for > long, just long enough to kiss them and rub them a bit and then put them > right down. After that, I'm plenty satisfied. It defeats the purpose of > having them if you can't do this. Every thought there is a reason other than just being snotty then? My 'Q' will not tolerate being picked up, probably very similar while my other 3 are all quite happy to be carried around. I got Q when he was just under a year old, he previously belonged to a neighbour of my parents who had a little sh.t of a child who used to abuse him by picking him up and throwing him around. The last time he (we assume) got slung over the garden fence and landed in my Mum's garden with a broken pelvis. My Mum is an animal lover and took him to the vets who basically said he would be OK if she kept him in a room with nothing to climb on until he healed. I had a spare room and was considering getting a cat so I took him in, hand fed him for 4 weeks until he could get some sort of mobility and he made a nearly full recovery, albeit with a wobbly backside now. He is totally bonded to me now and won't let anyone else pet him without spitting but even I can't pick him up without him panicking and trying to get down. I don't know whether you got your gat from a rescue and it was abused like this before, or whether it was a kitten but when not in your sight it may have been abused by someone to make it scared of being picked up. Don't just assume it is snotty, the more you persist in forcing it to be picked up the more damage you are doing. The best way would be to try picking it up and then putting down as soon as it struggles, this way it may learn that being picked up is not a bad thing. Hasn't worked with Q in 12 years but you never know. SignatureI.P.Freely >Okay, call me a "troll." I'm not. I really feel the way I feel. Even my >wife--who is a much gentler soul than me--was complaining about it. "I just >want to hold you" she would say, and would then put the cat down "fine, be >that way." I don't blame her. If you aren't a troll, then you are a very ignorant, self-centered, egotistical, power mad control freak. Can't you get it through your thick neo-Neanderthal head that some animals don't like to be held? Frankly, given the 'negative vibes' you obviously give off, its a wonder anyone or anything would want to live in close quarters with you. Do you have kids? (shudder at the thought!) Do you think that because you provide for them that you "own them - case closed"? Do you make them bow down and worship you several times a day? I think you should "re-home" all three of your cats, as you don't deserve to "own" any of them. When that is done, seek out some professional psychiatric help for your obvious litany of problems (enumerated above). For being a total and complete idiot, you will get from me, the only thing that suits you ... a big fat PLONK! (which means, in case you are even more ignorant than I suspect .. which is hard to fathom .. that I won't be seeing any more of your posts .. so don't even bother to respond to this one). > Okay, call me a "troll." I'm not. I really feel the way I feel. Even my > wife--who is a much gentler soul than me--was complaining about it. "I just > want to hold you" she would say, and would then put the cat down "fine, be > that way." I don't blame her. So you expect that just because you want your cat to behave like a human that it will? (you do realize that cats don't understand English, right?) How unfamiliar are you with animals? Y'know, this is the kind of thing one hears about child abusers: that they can't understand how their baby could be so unappreciative of all their hard work that it would continue to cry even though they begged it to stop. Do you see how foolish and dangerous this kind ego-centrism is? The purpose of owning pets is not to get something from them, it's to give something to them. If this doesn't jive with your needs, then please return the cats to a shelter so someone with more common sense can rescue them from your household. > I am sorry for being snappy in my tone. Believe me, with our cats, I'm not > trying to be domineering per se. BS. If you are for real, that's what this is all about. You want her to submit to what YOU want. To be honest, I'm really sorry for your wife. I imagine you consider her SNOTTY if she is not in the mood and pout or worse. I hope she puts YOU out. You sound like an egocentrical, power control freak. so with your line of thinking, if you take a woman out to dinner and a movie, she owes it to you to f.ck your brains out whether she wants to or not? Charming. Signaturerach > Okay, call me a "troll." I'm not. I really feel the way I feel. Even my > wife--who is a much gentler soul than me--was complaining about it. "I [quoted text clipped - 44 lines] > > LRH > But I just don't like them being snotty and acting like being held is the > worst thing since having her tail pulled. They may not mean it as a form > of rejection, but it is what I consider it to be. I like to hold a cat, > not for long, just long enough to kiss them and rub them a bit and then > put them right down. After that, I'm plenty satisfied. It defeats the > purpose of having them if you can't do this. > Yes, it DOES have to be on my own issues, not theirs. I chose to take them > into my home, because I expected certain things. If I'm not going to get [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > But if 1 of the 2 is going to be a snob, maybe it should live somewhere > else, because snobbiness is unacceptable to me. SOME CATS DON'T LIKE TO BE HELD!! What's so hard to understand about that? In fact, I would say a good half of the cats I've encountered don't really like to be held for an extended period of time. A cat cannot be a snob or snotty. They are not people and she's not doing this to spite you or something, it's just the way she is. My previous cat Dash(RB) hated to be picked up. She would scream bloody murder if I did. But she would always sit on my lap and cuddle, and I was satisfied with that. Currently, 3 out of my 6 cats don't really enjoy being picked up and I love them anyway. If you are really this hostile about the cat, maybe you should find her a new home. Don't take her to a shelter, though. Ask around and try to find a friend or relative who might appreciate this girl for who she is. Your post made me cry. Signature-Kelly kelly at farringtons dot net "Wake up, and smell the cat food" -TMBG >I like to hold a cat, not for >long, just long enough to kiss them and rub them a bit and then put them >right down. After that, I'm plenty satisfied. I have some wildlife exhibit animals. They don't like being held naturally. I need to be able to hold them so I can exhibit them. So, I train them to enjoy being picked up and held. Start slowly. First, get their favorite treats ready. If they bite, put on a pair of gloves, maybe two pairs if they bite hard. Skunks sometimes bite hard. Speak sweetly and say "I'm going to pick you up now." Pick them up and instantly give them a treat. I put the treats on a table and pick them up near the table and let them eat the treat while I hold them. Then I put them down, and repeat. Say "I'm going to pick you up now" each time. Each time hold them longer. Soon they will be begging to be picked up. I did the same thing to get an opossum to sit on my lap or a squirrel to sit on my shoulder. > >I like to hold a cat, not for > >long, just long enough to kiss them and rub them a bit and then put them [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > the same thing to get an opossum to sit on my lap or a squirrel to sit on my > shoulder. You're so smart and good. > I have some wildlife exhibit animals. They don't like being held > naturally. I [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > my > shoulder. Thanks for your dignified & thoughtfuly response as well. The kitty truly is a pleasure when I'm able to hold her even just for seconds, without her squirming like I'm committing the crime of the century. When she's not hostile and is receptive to my petting, she is a pleasure. And as I noted elsewhere, the last couple of days she's been much more receptive to it & a true pleasure to OWN. One person mentioned that what worked for them was to only feed the cat in his/her lap, so the cat would see that the lap is a safe place to be. I would have no problem doing that, except it would only work with her being the only cat of all, which she is not; she's 1 of 3, and obviously the others should be able to eat whenever, and preferably that should be the case with ALL of them (it is). LRH << They play together & sleep together, and it's cute; you don't want to split that up. But if 1 of the 2 is going to be a snob, maybe it should live somewhere else, because snobbiness is unacceptable to me. >> Well, it is fun to hold a cat, I agree, but it's just plain cruel to give one up for that reason. You have 2 others you can hold apparently. Hold one of them for 50 seconds instead of 25 and pretend it's the "snobby" one. It's wrong to give her up for a dumb reason like that. Pet her on her terms and maybe someday she'll let you hold her although some cats just don't like it. Hold the ones who do and don't hold the ones who don't. You trying to force her will only make her want to get away more. One of mine only gets snuggly and cuddly around me this time of year, the winter. Much as I want to hold her in the summer, she doesn't go for it so I don't do it much. Occasionally, I pick her up briefly just to snuggle but I've learned that it makes her avoid me more. Live and let live. The cat apparently doesn't have any heinous habits so let her be herself and don't get rid of her. Candace (take the litter out before replying by e-mail) See my cats: http://photos.yahoo.com/maccandace "One does not meet oneself until one catches the reflection from an eye other than human." (Loren Eisely) > Well, it is fun to hold a cat, I agree, but it's just plain cruel to give > one [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > The cat apparently doesn't have any heinous habits > so let her be herself and don't get rid of her. I appreciate your very mature & dignified response, I really do. But the thing is, I have NO interest in having any cat in my house that behaves this way, even if there are 100 others which behave as I like. I like what I like, I dislike what I dislike--and I dislike a snobby pet. Even so, it's worth noting--we've had some nice moments lately. I see her around and I pet, often-times WITHOUT trying to pick her up--and she seems to like it. Other times, I will respond by picking her up and then holding her maybe 15 seconds & letting her go. She doesn't seem too upset, even seems to be possibly starting to like it. And overall she has exhibited MUCH less of the "run & hide" behaviors I disliked so much. And I'm glad if she is. I don't want it to be about hostility or a control issue. But it's not a "dumb reason" to get rid of her, I don't care if there 3 DOZEN cats in the house that let me hold them. The very one that doesn't will be an issue for me, although again lately it hasn't been an issue; we've had some sweet moments & I'm really glad of it. If this continues, she will be staying & I will be very happy to have her. LRH > But it's not a "dumb reason" to get rid of her Only in your mind is this not a dumb reason. > I like what I > like, I dislike what I dislike--and I dislike a snobby pet. I dislike anthropomorphizers. And trolls. ;) Signaturehttp://www.mindspring.com/~slywy/pages/hodge.html > Same with cats. You get them, at least I do, to HOLD them. So, tell me, if a friend of yours didn't like to be hugged by you, would you refuse to see them again? I think most of the people on this newsgroup got their cats as "companion animals." We love our cats for themselves, and not because of what they do or don't do for us. We are appreciative when/if they want to snuggle, be petted, or even just sit near us, but we realize that they are individuals, and we respect the fact that they have their own personalities and idiosyncracies. Animals aren't people, but neither are they brainless or programmable automatons. My cat doesn't like to be held, although this has changed over the years, but she does sleep near me (sometimes), let herself be pet (sometimes), and does hang out in whatever room I'm in (almost all the time). I love it when she drops her guard, but that doesn't mean I expect her to be my furry slave and attend to my every need. That's not why I have her, and I think you're bound to be frustrated if you have this expectation. This isn't about cats wanting to be held. This is, clearly, from your several posts, about you needing to have your pet behave in exactly the way you imagine that a pet should behave. You're bound to be disappointed when all of your cats eventually exhibit "unacceptable" behavior. I have no doubt this will happen eventually, so you should get to work on rehoming the cats and instead get yourself an Aibo. Signaturemonique, who is sometimes allowed to pet Oscar, a grey^H^H^H^Hblue-cream DLH with an attitude! > > Same with cats. You get them, at least I do, to HOLD them. > [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > or even just sit near us, but we realize that they are individuals, and we > respect the fact that they have their own personalities and idiosyncracies. Jesus Christ. Larry is pathetic. Didn't get enough stuffed animals as a little boy, eh Larry? Daddy wanted you to play with trucks but you'd rather have a cuddly baby doll? So now your cats have to pay for it. A clue: it is not too late. The stores are full of soft, cuddly stuffed animals and baby dolls for you to cuddle, you stud you. I am sure the Mrs. would understand. She is, after all, so good about recognizing the needs of the cats. >A clue: it is not too late. The stores are full of soft, cuddly >stuffed animals and baby dolls for you to cuddle, you stud you. I >am sure the Mrs. would understand. She is, after all, so good >about recognizing the needs of the cats. Good idea. Maybe the knuckle-dragging Mrs. would like a baby doll, too. Sherry > >A clue: it is not too late. The stores are full of soft, cuddly > >stuffed animals and baby dolls for you to cuddle, you stud you. I > >am sure the Mrs. would understand. She is, after all, so good > >about recognizing the needs of the cats. > > Good idea. Maybe the knuckle-dragging Mrs. would like a baby doll, too. It's kind of easy to understand why they don't turn to each other for petting, isn't it? I can hear Larry now: "The reason I GOT a wife is to HOLD one. She really has no say in it." *Shudder* > We have 3 cats, 2 of them are about the same age & are from the same litter. > One of them is just an out & out snob, any time either my wife or myself [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] > > LRH Cats are cats. You are trying to impose human behavior patterns on them, which is guaranteed to fail. Cats, by instinct/nature, feel they must own their territory and its surroundings, including the people who happened to live there. Your cat may be a little more skittish about being picked up than others, but this is definitely normal for the species. If you want to assume the "top of the food chain" posture, I suggest owning dogs instead. >> >> Is this cat EVER going to get the message? Or should she be sent to a >> >> pet [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > to assume the "top of the food chain" posture, I suggest owning dogs > instead. Right on! Our cat is a very loving kitty who likes being near us and being petted and will get in your lap when he feels like it. However he doesn't especially like being picked up and held. If your going to have cats, you have to accept them on their terms as others have stated. You might be better off finding new homes for them and not vengefully throwing them in a shelter. SignaturePaul O. Absolutely clueless when it comes to cats Learning more every day, but still clueless oplholik@hotmail.com Amber came to live with me as a very young kitten. At first she liked to sit on my lap but now (at age ten) she won't. She also complains if I try to pick her up. On the other hand, she likes to sit next to me and be petted. She will also jump on the bed early (sometimes too early) in the morning to be petted. ---MIKE--- >>>>>Is this cat EVER going to get the message? Or should she be sent to a >>>>>pet [quoted text clipped - 18 lines] > better off finding new homes for them and not vengefully throwing them in a > shelter. Whoa, be careful how you quote -- that was my response, certainly not Larry's! :-) > Cats are cats. You are trying to impose human behavior patterns on them, > which is guaranteed to fail. Cats, by instinct/nature, feel they must own > their territory and its surroundings, including the people who happened to > live there. Your cat may be a little more skittish about being picked up > than others, but this is definitely normal for the species. If you want to > assume the "top of the food chain" posture, I suggest owning dogs instead. Please, no. Just because dogs are more pack-oriented does not mean that they should have owners who see them as poseable plush dolls. If anything, dogs are more demanding than cats and need extremely caring owners. Signaturemonique, who is sometimes allowed to pet Oscar, a grey^H^H^H^Hblue-cream DLH with an attitude! >> Cats are cats. You are trying to impose human behavior patterns on >> them, which is guaranteed to fail. Cats, by instinct/nature, feel [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > anything, dogs are more demanding than cats and need extremely caring > owners. Right. And they, like cats, have personalities of their own, and have their own ideas of how much and what kind of affection they like. The dogs we had while I was growing up, for instance, loved to curl up next to any of us on the sofa, and didn't mind the constant petting that went with that. I just kind of assumed that was how dogs were -- but my dog, Zoe, doesn't like to sit next to me and doesn't like constant petting -- although she is very affectionate and enjoys a good belly rub and/or back scritching session, and will come over for hugs/petting very frequently. She is just a bit more independent than the dogs we had in the past. Animals are living creatures. Cats and dogs are amazingly adaptable to living with humans -- but they have their own personalities and wishes and desires and they deserve to have respect for their individualism. My philosophy when bringing a new pet into the house is, I go out and meet animals, I look for one with whom I connect and who has certain qualities I like (for example, intelligence) -- and then once they are at home, I get to know them for who they are, trying to forget whatever preconceptions I might have had about them. If I found that my current mix of pets weren't meeting some needs I had, then I might try to add another to the mix -- for instance, I have said that if Rosalie never turns into a lap cat then I might get another cat who had those tendencies. It wouldn't mean I would love Rosalie any less, though. --Catherine & Rosalie the calicohead Thanks for the posts. Based on what I've heard, odds are pretty high the cat will be rehomed. My wife has suggested it, because she ALSO does not like this snotty behavior. And the thing is, while you guys may be good at accepting a cat on its own terms, neither of us are--at least with this thing. Other things we can live with "as is," but not this one. It's not a matter of control, it's a matter of that the main reason we'd even have a cat to begin with is so we can occasionally pick it up & hold it--maybe just for 10-15 seconds, big deal. Is that so much to ask? We don't think so, and if the cat thinks so, it has no right to be here. It is about what MY preferences are, and my wife's--the cat's all but don't matter a wit. We choose to LET a cat live with us that behaves as we want it to--no cat will be perfect of course, but certain things are total no-nos. BOTH of us dislike this snottiness, and won't tolerate it. Period. The other two cats don't exhibit this behavior, and exhibit nothing severe enough for us to be upset about it, so they are staying. We have our own expectations, and this is one of them. Other ones: we don't like cats which like us but are snotty to people who come over. One of the other two (not the twin to the snot-head) has always been friendly with company. The other of the twin? Haven't seen it yet. Then again, we don't have company over a lot, so we could probably not make a deal out of it either way, but if we had company often, that would be a sticking point. So with this "snotty" issue--okay, maybe it doesn't mean anything personal with resistence towards being picked up. I don't care. I TAKE it personally. I dislike it, my wife dislikes it, and the other two cats don't exhibit this snotty personality. The main thing that's been a reason we've resisted and still keep her at this point is because it still is very cute & cuddly, and it has a twin it plays with. We'd really rather not split up the twins. But my wife is ALSO starting to tire of the cat's snottiness and is starting to say she'd just assume see it go. For us, it's not about taking in a cat and letting it be what it is, at least with something like this. Other things: yes. Some are more playful than others, some more mellow. You don't try to make a mellow cat hyper, or a hyper cat mellow. They are what they are. But if your own reason for owning a cat in the 1st place is to have something cuddly to hold a few seconds during the day, and they won't let you do it, they have no business being there. They don't deserve you. LRH > Thanks for the posts. Based on what I've heard, odds are pretty high the cat > will be rehomed. My wife has suggested it, because she ALSO does not like [quoted text clipped - 38 lines] > > LRH Wrong, you don't deserve them. You should not have any pets and I hope to God you don't have children or ever do. I've never heard of two more self centered, egotiscal and spoiled brats than you and your wife. > Wrong, you don't deserve them. You should not have any pets and I hope to > God you don't have children or ever do. I've never heard of two more self > centered, egotiscal and spoiled brats than you and your wife. Indeed. I have friends who have an autistic son. He doesn't show much affection either; has to be taught when it's appropriate to smile, and so on. I suppose the OP would try to "rehome" such a child, because it wasn't behaving in the way they planned when they thought of having a kid. Signaturemonique, who is sometimes allowed to pet Oscar, a grey^H^H^H^Hblue-cream DLH with an attitude! Hi Larry, I can understand where you and your wife are coming from. Most people, (whether they freely admit it or not), do indeed have a very a low tolerance for a very un-social, unfriendly, non affectionate cat/ animal, especially if the cat/ animal is aggressive in any way, shape, or form. In fact, most workers of any humane society will be the first to tell you that the odds of this type of animal being a good pet and being able to adopt out are practically nil. I certainly wouldn't want a cat/ kitten like that, personally. So, IMO, the most humane thing you and your wife can for her/him, since you are the mature* caretaker, is to put an ad in the paper ( most will do this for free), and state that she needs a good home, a home where is she the only cat, with a *single* person, who is home a lot. Someone retired. That way, IMO, in a 'one on one' situation, she/he would get calmer and able to bond, with Time, with/ to the right woman or man. I'd stay away from any one adopting your kitten that has children. Believe it or not, some people really love challenges(!). Good luck to you and your kitty. BTW, here's a recent Giving joke someone sent to me.... ML mlcarey1@yahoo.com The Profane Parrot A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word was rude, obnoxious, and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music, and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary. Finally, John was fed up, and he yelled at the parrot, nothing helped... John, in desperation, threw up his hands, grabbed the bird, and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior." John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, when the bird continued, "May I ask what the turkey did?" > Thanks for the posts. Based on what I've heard, odds are pretty high the cat > will be rehomed. My wife has suggested it, because she ALSO does not like [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > for 10-15 seconds, big deal. Is that so much to ask? We don't think so, and > if the cat thinks so, it has no right to be here. > I can understand where you and your wife are coming from. Most people, > (whether they freely admit it or not), do indeed have a very a low > tolerance > for a very un-social, unfriendly, non affectionate cat/ animal, > especially > if the cat/ animal is aggressive in any way, shape, or form. Well wow, a poster who understand where I'm coming from. Unbelievable, and great (assuming of course they aren't just saying these things only to say "psyche" later on and say "you really think I agree with your nut-job points of view"; I'll take it at face value). > In fact, most workers of any humane society will be the first to tell you > that the odds of this type of animal being a good pet and being able to > adopt out are practically nil. I certainly wouldn't want a cat/ kitten > like > that, personally. You are exactly right. An un-social animal is something we don't care for. You get an animal for affection, right? You do where I come from (unless you get coon-dogs for hunting). If they aren't being affectionate, this is a problem. And if an animal shelter were to factor this in, I'm pretty sure the animal wouldn't get adopted, because who wants a snot-head as a companion? > So, IMO, the most humane thing you and your wife can for her/him, since > you [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > adopting your kitten that has children. Believe it or not, some people > really love challenges(!). Good luck to you and your kitty. That might be the good thing to do. I will admit, I have tendencies towards wanting to FORCE her to be sociable just because I believe so strongly that being this way is just wrong. But why waste time with that when you can have a cat/kitten who's much more your type? We already have two who are. It's just that one of those is practically a twin to the snot-head, and they do make a cute couple. But no one has mentioned this is a crucial issue, so I guess it wouldn't be a big deal to split them up. Oh, and the parrot joke? I've heard it twice already. But thanks anyway. LRH > That might be the good thing to do. I will admit, I have tendencies > towards wanting to FORCE her to be sociable just because I believe so [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > snot-head, and they do make a cute couple. But no one has mentioned this > is a crucial issue, so I guess it wouldn't be a big deal to split them up. The fact that you keep referring to this kitten as "snot-head" and such shows you have great hostility towards her and it would be best if she is rehomed. As for separating her from her littermate, it would be nice if they could stay together, but it's not necessary, esp at this young age. Take me up on my offer to find them another home. Where are you? Even if you are not nearby, I'm sure we can work something out. BTW - what are you going to do if the other two displease you in some way? Signature-Kelly kelly at farringtons dot net "Wake up, and smell the cat food" -TMBG > > I can understand where you and your wife are coming from. Most people, > > (whether they freely admit it or not), do indeed have a very a low [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > You are exactly right. An un-social animal is something we don't care for. > You get an animal for affection, right? Well, companionship, IMO. But cats are cats; some are affectionate, some aren't. But no matter which, just observing them & their ways is interesting & often amusing. One can respect & enjoy a pet cat, without the cat being particularly affectionate. If the cat wants to cuddle up w/ their human(s), that's a bonus. You do where I come from (unless you > get coon-dogs for hunting). If they aren't being affectionate, this is a > problem. And if an animal shelter were to factor this in, I'm pretty sure > the animal wouldn't get adopted, because who wants a snot-head as a > companion? Cats are known for being independent &/or aloof; many people are actually surprised when they discover that cats are often affectionate. You're coming from a different angle altogether. Cathy > > So, IMO, the most humane thing you and your wife can for her/him, since > > you [quoted text clipped - 19 lines] > > LRH > Well, companionship, IMO. But cats are cats; some are affectionate, some > aren't. But no matter which, just observing them & their ways is [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > their > human(s), that's a bonus. Another respectable post. Glad to read it. It's worth noting--I did have some fun with her today. At the given point of reference I did NOT pick her up but I approached her and--wow--she didn't run. I rubbed & stroked her where he was, and she was even purring! Aww! And I didn't pick her up, I did that for a few seconds and then let it be. That is not to say that I won't ever try & pick her up again at all, not the case one bit. But what I am getting at is I was able to enjoy her--at least this occasion anyway--on her terms and it wasn't a problem for me. I would have liked to have picked her up but I did want her to get the understanding that not every single time I encounter her I will insist on picking her up. SOMETIMES--sometimes--stroking and rubbing and letting that be it is fine with me. It was a sweet experience. Then, I took out the laser point & she and her twin became very playful with it, and it was cute. It was a sweet moment, left me feeling hopeful that just MAYBE this will all work out. LHR > In fact, most workers of any humane society will be the first to tell you > that the odds of this type of animal being a good pet and being able to > adopt out are practically nil. I certainly wouldn't want a cat/ kitten like > that, personally. he did not describe an antisocial cat. It simply doesn't want to be held. > he did not describe an antisocial cat. It simply doesn't want to be held. That makes it anti-social, in my book. Who needs it? But again, I had a good experience today which I spoke of in another post. LRH >> he did not describe an antisocial cat. It simply doesn't want to be held. > > That makes it anti-social, in my book. Who needs it? But again, I had a > good experience today which I spoke of in another post. One of my cats loves to be picked up, the other doesn't. The one who doesn't like being picked up (and he's 10 years old) always wants to come and snuggle on the sofa with me - not on my lap, but beside me, with his head nuzzled into the side of me, or, preferably under my arm pit :-). He will stay snuggled like that for over an hour, purring as I pat him, with intervals of kneading. And if I let him into the bedroom when I'm having a weekend lie in, he'll come and lie up right next to my head, purring, and nuzzling into me. And yet you think, because he doesn't like being picked up, he should qualify as an anti-social cat??????? > And yet you think, because he doesn't like being picked up, he should > qualify as an anti-social cat??????? Absolutely. And doubly so, when he's in the mood he doesn't care if you are or not, and when you're in the mood he doesn't care if you are or not--yet you OWN it. Sounds like a selfish cat to me. LRH > > And yet you think, because he doesn't like being picked up, he should > > qualify as an anti-social cat??????? [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > LRH All cats are like that you fuckin' moron. I'm convinced one of your parents has 48 chromosomes. >> And yet you think, because he doesn't like being picked up, he should >> qualify as an anti-social cat??????? > > Absolutely. And doubly so, when he's in the mood he doesn't care if you > are or not, and when you're in the mood he doesn't care if you are or > not--yet you OWN it. Sounds like a selfish cat to me. You're either quite mad, or a very successful troll. >>> And yet you think, because he doesn't like being picked up, he should >>> qualify as an anti-social cat??????? [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > You're either quite mad, or a very successful troll. >I'm leaning towards a very successful troll. SignaturePaul O. Absolutely clueless when it comes to cats Learning more every day, but still clueless oplholik@hotmail.com > "Ashley" <ashleyjaneNOSPAM@xtra.co.nz> wrote in message >> You're either quite mad, or a very successful troll. > >>I'm leaning towards a very successful troll. Me too. > > "Ashley" <ashleyjaneNOSPAM@xtra.co.nz> wrote in message > [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > Me too. He's not bright enough to be a troll. >> > "Ashley" <ashleyjaneNOSPAM@xtra.co.nz> wrote in message >> [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > >He's not bright enough to be a troll. Sure he is. Look at the responses he got..... eq > >> > "Ashley" <ashleyjaneNOSPAM@xtra.co.nz> wrote in message > >> [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > > Sure he is. Look at the responses he got..... You got a point, there. OTOH, look at all the good information that came out in this thread. I love it when a troll serves a useful purpose without realizing it! Phil >> >> > "Ashley" <ashleyjaneNOSPAM@xtra.co.nz> wrote in message >> >> [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] > >Phil And you have a point there, my friend! Look at it that way, and the table was turned on him, at his expense, LOL! > And you have a point there, my friend! Look at it that way, and the > table was turned on him, at his expense, LOL! There is another possible explanation, of course, that he is simply a control freak - someone who can't enjoy something unless he feels it is somehow acting within the bounds of his control, that it won't challenge his view of the world and do something he hadn't thought of before, someone who can't take pleasure in surprise and discovery of something new that pushes his world view. I feel sorry for people like that, quite honestly. I mean, what an unexciting life! > Thanks for the posts. Based on what I've heard, odds are pretty high the cat > will be rehomed. My wife has suggested it, because she ALSO does not like [quoted text clipped - 36 lines] > seconds during the day, and they won't let you do it, they have no business > being there. They don't deserve you. er.. no. You don't deserve your cats, sadly you don't have any idea about pets. Cats are not programmable machines that you can tailor to your every whim, they are living beings with their own unique personalities. Quite frankly I am shocked and sickened at your attitude, if anyone is a candidate for not being allowed to keep pets it is you. SignatureI.P.Freely > We have our own expectations, and this is one of them. Other ones: we don't > like cats which like us but are snotty to people who come over. OMG - it gets worse & worse. Two of my cats did complete disappearing acts when anyone came over, coming out of hiding only when we all left the house, or else after the company all went to bed. No problem, AFAIWC. You really don't understand cats, even after living w/ 3 of them - you want them to behave on your terms only. They are *cats*, & cats do not behave on terms other than their own. Cathy > For us, it's not about taking in a cat and letting it be what it > is, at least with something like this. Other things: yes. Some [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > the day, and they won't let you do it, they have no business > being there. They don't deserve you. Hey a.shole, you have taken in 4 *very* young cats in less than a year, did who knows what to one of them, and you're complaining about how KITTENS act? You don't deserve *them*. Please PLEASE rehome all of the remaining three. SignatureCheryl > Thanks for the posts. Based on what I've heard, odds are pretty high the cat > will be rehomed. Good to hear... for the cat's sake. > My wife has suggested it, because she ALSO does not like > this snotty behavior. ::rolling eyes:: > And the thing is, while you guys may be good at > accepting a cat on its own terms, neither of us are Then you shouldn't have them as pets. > --at least with this > thing. Other things we can live with "as is," but not this one. Pets don't come with behavior menus. You need to accept the package wholistically or don't waste your and their time trying to force something unnatural. > It's not a > matter of control, it's a matter of that the main reason we'd even have a > cat to begin with is so we can occasionally pick it up & hold it--maybe just > for 10-15 seconds, big deal. The *main* reason you have a cat is so that you can hold something soft and furry? Try a stuffed animal. > Is that so much to ask? We don't think so, and > if the cat thinks so, it has no right to be here. You and your wife are seriously f-ed up. > It is about what MY preferences are, and my wife's--the cat's all but don't > matter a wit. Okay, if you're not a troll or doing some kind of psych experiment on cat lovers, PLEASE do not subject any other life form to your brand of human arrogance. Animals do not exist to do your bidding. The true joy in pet ownership is the two-way relationship that evolves over time, not egocentric dominance. I'm done with you. I sincerely hope this was a joke. If not, I'll be praying that you place all your cats in alternate homes so they can experience real love and not the sick twisted power-trip you seem to equate with affection. > We choose to LET a cat live with us that behaves as we want it > to--no cat will be perfect of course, but certain things are total no-nos. [quoted text clipped - 27 lines] > > LRH > Thanks for the posts. Based on what I've heard, odds are pretty high the cat > will be rehomed. My wife has suggested it, because she ALSO does not like > this snotty behavior. And the thing is, while you guys may be good at > accepting a cat on its own terms, neither of us are a.shole. >> Thanks for the posts. Based on what I've heard, odds are pretty high the >cat [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > >a.shole. It's really, really sad to see all of you dancing on the hook like this. I thought better of you. ****IT"S A FRIGGING TROLL!!!**** Kill file it and be done with it! eq >For us, it's not about taking in a cat and letting it be what it is, at >least with something like this. Other things: yes. Some are more playful [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > >LRH I think that's a wonderful idea. I think you should re-home all your cats. Mostly because you're an idiot, and it sounds like the little woman is a bigger idiot than you, if that's possible. Sherry >From: "Larry R Harrison Jr" noone@noone.com How are you posting on an AOL board from the internet? I didn't think AOL had that option. >Is this cat EVER going to get the message? Or should she be sent to a pet >shelter where she can live in a cage where it's guaranteed NO one will ever >get around to holding her; she sure would seem to prefer that. Some cats just don't like to be picked up. It's hardwired into them and you're not going to change it by forcing her. I'm sure she's picking up on your vibes. Also, she is a cat, not a human. Cats don't do things to be "snobby". If you aren't willing to accept this kitty and give her love, maybe you should try to re-home her. It doesn't sound like you have any good feelings for her :( ________ See my cats: http://community.webshots.com/album/56955940rWhxAe Raw Diet Info: http://www.holisticat.com/drjletter.html http://www.geocities.com/rawfeeders/ForCatsOnly.html Declawing Info: http://www.wholecatjournal.com/articles/claws.htm > >From: "Larry R Harrison Jr" noone@noone.com > > How are you posting on an AOL board from the internet? I didn't think AOL > had > that option. I didn't realize this was an AOL-only board. I bed the folks in Dulles, Va are not so happy about that (heehee). > If you aren't willing to accept this kitty and give her love, maybe you > should > try to re-home her. It doesn't sound like you have any good feelings for > her Well I do have some good feelings for her. I really do. When she plays with the twin it's really cute; when she wrestles with the other cat (which is larger), it's cute. When she & her twin act like babies and run to the large cat trying to suck on its fur--even chasing the cat and meowing in protest when the larger cat walks off--it makes both of us die laughing. It's just that the not liking to be picked up is a biggie for me. It's EVERYTHING. It's like buying a car only to be told it doesn't like to be driven. (OK, cars aren't alive animals, just saying...) I mean, that's why you bought the car--so you could drive it. For my wife & I both, it's why we get a cat--so we can hold it, even if it's just 20 second increments 2-3 time a day. If we can't do that, it's as worthless as a car that's pretty and shiny but can't be driven. So--why have we not given it away? Mainly because it's one of the two twins, and they make a cute couple--and they are play-mates. So we want it to work out, but we're not going to give an inch on the snobbiness thing. LRH > :( > ________ > See my cats: http://community.webshots.com/album/56955940rWhxAe > Raw Diet Info: http://www.holisticat.com/drjletter.html > http://www.geocities.com/rawfeeders/ForCatsOnly.html > Declawing Info: http://www.wholecatjournal.com/articles/claws.htm > > >From: "Larry R Harrison Jr" noone@noone.com > > [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > I didn't realize this was an AOL-only board. I bed the folks in Dulles, Va > are not so happy about that (heehee). It's not, it's Usenet. SignatureI.P.Freely >From: "I.P.Freely" i.p.freely@spamblockdsl.pipex.com >> > >From: "Larry R Harrison Jr" noone@noone.com >> > [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > >It's not, it's Usenet. You'll have to forgive me. When I posted, I thought I was on one of AOL's message boards. That's what happens when one posts and isn't fully awake :) ________ See my cats: http://community.webshots.com/album/56955940rWhxAe Raw Diet Info: http://www.holisticat.com/drjletter.html http://www.geocities.com/rawfeeders/ForCatsOnly.html Declawing Info: http://www.wholecatjournal.com/articles/claws.htm That's okay. By the way, I like your user name. > >From: "I.P.Freely" i.p.freely@spamblockdsl.pipex.com > [quoted text clipped - 19 lines] > http://www.geocities.com/rawfeeders/ForCatsOnly.html > Declawing Info: http://www.wholecatjournal.com/articles/claws.htm >>> From: "Larry R Harrison Jr" noone@noone.com >> [quoted text clipped - 28 lines] > > LRH You have some serious issues and I highly doubt it is confined to this situation with the cat. I hope you can find her a home (just shuttling her to a shelter is extremely cowardly) you will both be better off. > We have 3 cats, 2 of them are about the same age & are from the same litter. > One of them is just an out & out snob, any time either my wife or myself [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > you're going to be a snob about it? As if. Again, I OWN you, you don't have > the right to dissent. If I want to hold you, I hold you. Case closed. No, the case is not closed. She is a feline companion, & has the right to not be forced to be cuddled if she doens't want to be. Sounds like you look upon her as an item you own, Vs. a living being. > Is this cat EVER going to get the message? Or should she be sent to a pet > shelter where she can live in a cage where it's guaranteed NO one will ever > get around to holding her; she sure would seem to prefer that. > > LRH How about just letting her be herself? Respect her for her own personality. Also, I don't know how old she is, but sometimes cats mellow as they get older - get more laid-back & feel more comfortable around humans. Cathy > Also, I don't know how old she is, but sometimes cats mellow as > they get older - get more laid-back & feel more comfortable > around humans. According to his post in rec.pets.cats a few weeks ago, they were 3 months old at that time. So not even 4 months old. Amazing how some people are. SignatureCheryl >> Also, I don't know how old she is, but sometimes cats mellow as >> they get older - get more laid-back & feel more comfortable [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > months old at that time. So not even 4 months old. Amazing how some > people are. OMG, this is only a 4 month old kitten????? MOST kittens do not like to be held for long. They want to get down and play! Larry, if you are ANYWHERE near Southern NH, email me at the address in my sig. I'm not that great at reading headers, so I can't really tell where you are. It looks like your post went through a server in the DC area. If that's the case, let me know, I'll be in MD for Christmas. I'll find your wonderful kitten a new home. Signature-Kelly kelly at farringtons dot net "Wake up, and smell the cat food" -TMBG > No, the case is not closed. She is a feline companion, & has the right to > not be forced to be cuddled if she doens't want to be. She has no right at all. And what she wants is irrelevant, especially regarding this issue. > Sounds like you look > upon her as an item you own, Vs. a living being. That is exactly what she is. I OWN her. That's it. She is a living being, she isn't a thing, but I own her just as much as I own my car, no matter what those nut-jobs in San Francisco try & tell us. > Also, I don't know how old she is, but sometimes cats mellow as they get > older - get more laid-back & feel more comfortable around humans. Then there's hope for change. That's good. If it's an age-thing, that helps to know. LRH > > No, the case is not closed. She is a feline companion, & has the right to > > not be forced to be cuddled if she doens't want to be. > > She has no right at all. And what she wants is irrelevant, especially > regarding this issue. In that case, she may need a new home; one where the person/people will enjoy her presence. > > Sounds like you look > > upon her as an item you own, Vs. a living being. > > That is exactly what she is. I OWN her. That's it. She is a living being, > she isn't a thing, but I own her just as much as I own my car, no matter > what those nut-jobs in San Francisco try & tell us. You are treating her as a thing; a thing which doesn't even earn your respect. > > Also, I don't know how old she is, but sometimes cats mellow as they get > > older - get more laid-back & feel more comfortable around humans. > > Then there's hope for change. That's good. If it's an age-thing, that helps > to know. Is she really only still a kitten? One of my cats, who is now 12, had *no* desire to be held until she was about 4? years old, at which point she became a lap cat. Otoh, my first cat, though she enjoyed being held, never ever sat on my lap. They are all different. Cathy > LRH > She has no right at all. And what she wants is irrelevant, especially > regarding this issue. [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > she isn't a thing, but I own her just as much as I own my car, no matter > what those nut-jobs in San Francisco try & tell us. This is not a flame, just an observation based the mentality you've displayed. You do realize you and your wife (btw, does your wife walk upright?) aren't very bright and/or have very serious psychological problems and should not be allowed anywhere near animals? Some cats just don't like being held, they feel restrained. She probably had little human handling when she was kitten. You can't punish her or hold it against her. Forcing her is only stressing her and making the situation worse. Leave her alone and let her come to you - or better yet, *rehome her*. What you're doing to this cat is nothing short of abuse. You and your wife (btw, did you buy your wife though mail order or did you pick her up off the street?) do not possess the intelligence to have a cat. To the jerk who insists on holding the cats against their will.....do you crush beer cans on your forhead? > > She has no right at all. And what she wants is irrelevant, especially > > regarding this issue. [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > This is not a flame, just an observation based the mentality you've > displayed. Phil, you may dislike me rather intensely, but could you please keep my attributions? My quote is in there - I'm the one who said, "Sounds like you look upon her as an item you own, Vs. a living being.", yet there's no attribution, whereas it was there was up till your post in this thread - I just checked. AFAIK, AOL is the only newsreader that neglects to quote & do attributions, so that means you cut it out on purpose. What? heaven *forbid* you agree w/ anything I say, at all? Thank you. Cathy > You do realize you and your wife (btw, does your wife walk upright?) aren't > very bright and/or have very serious psychological problems and should not [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > you buy your wife though mail order or did you pick her up off the street?) > do not possess the intelligence to have a cat. > We have 3 cats, 2 of them are about the same age & are from the same litter. > One of them is just an out & out snob, any time either my wife or myself [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] > > LRH It's probably better if you try to find her a new home. I think you have a fairly unusual situation on your hands. Most cats bond with the folks that feed them after a while; but some are, as you say, kind of "snobby". Just like some people, some cats just won't tolerate any contact with stupid gits like you, even if the slack-jawed moron is the one that feeds them. There's probably nothing you can do except to help find the cat a home with an owner who posseses a modicum of intelligence. I'm sure that if you went to some no-kill shelters (or maybe a vet) and relayed the circumstances to them, you'd be able to find a place that the cat would feel more at home. Just tell the person handling intake that "Unfortunately, I've got a situation where my cat isn't happy being with me 'cause I'm a dumbfuck. Do you think you can help me find her an owner that she'll more comfortable with?" Don't give up if you don't meet with success after the first few tries; be persistent. People like those you will meet in shelters will go out of their way to help you as long as you explain your situation to them. Good luck. |
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