Thank you all so much for your responses to my postings.  I have not posted
here in several weeks, all my free time has been devoted to my little
Delilah...lying/cuddling with her, petting, brushing, medicating and
occasionally bathing when necessary and lots of cleanup.  Aside from my job and
about 5 hours of sleep each night, my other focus has been on my little girl.
I have bags under my eyes so big that they could carry groceries.

Delilah peacefully slipped away at about 4:35 yesterday afternoon.

The last 48 hours of her life, I had noticed some changes that were not good.
She had a couple 'episodes' that were probably mild seizures.  They were not as
extreme like the grand mal seizures she had in August but on a smaller scale
yet still very disturbing to have to see.  Yesterday at 12:30 she had an
episode and for a brief moment, she looked up at me straight in the eye and our
eyes locked.  It was very strange and incredible, considering she'd been blind
for the last few months of her life.  She was coming out of one of these
"spells", looked straight at me and was climing over something, fumbling and
trying very hard to get close to me on the other side of the room.  I knew that
the prednisone I'd been giving her for the brain tumor was no longer enough to
keep the brain swelling and seizure activity at bay.

Something inside of me just snapped and I knew this was it, I could not let her
go on like this (people told me you will know when the time is right and I
never thought it would happen with my many false alarms but it finally
happened.... in that instant I was so sure that the time had come and I
couldn't wait a minute longer.  It wasn't just the seizures but the constant
circling/pacing she did and it was killing me to watch this).  I called the
animal hospital.  My vet called me back at 3:00.  I asked would she please come
over and put Delilah to sleep and she said yes.  I called my friends (I was
having a dinner party) to ask them to come a bit later .  The vet came after
4:00.  I held Delilah while the vet injected her leg muscle with a sedative.
In 5 minutes she was sedated and then the vet administered a lethal injection
into her veins.  Within seconds Delilah very peacefully slipped away.

I had to be strong because in 20 minutes I had friends coming over for dinner
to celebrate my bday.  I managed to have a good time considering the
circumstances but today I am so sad and greiving very deeply for such a special
animal.  My heart is in a million pieces right now.  I miss my baby girl so
much and I only hope I did the right thing for her.  I tried so hard to "time
it just right" .  When I knew of her blindless/tumor in August, I wasn't ready
to let her go. Though she was unable to do most of what she used to, we still
had some quality time since then...lots of cuddling/purring/kneading  and
following the sun beams to nap in and as long as she was doing that, I felt it
was okay to keep her alive. I just want to die right now because I am so
broken-hearted.  Is this because she was my first pet?  Does this get easier
with other pets?  I still have another cat who thank god is healthy but unless
this gets easier I don't think I can keep going through this over and over.