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Cat Forum / Health and Behavior / September 2004I'm feeling like a horrible pet owner...
Hi everyone, My 3 year old fur baby is at the vets right now after having her teeth de-scaled and an id chip injection. We got her from an animal rescue place a year ago and she had the usual medical problems: fleas, ear mites and cat flu. But after taking her to the vet after two weeks of drops and medication he gave her a clean bill of health. So for the last year we've carried on as usual...spoiling and loving our little kitty. She was in last week for her yearly injection and the vet (different one from before) was shocked at the state of her teeth, and so was I. She had horrendous plaque build up, angry inflammed gums and a couple brown teeth. I couldn't believe it. So we booked her in to have her teeth done today. I've just gotten off the phone with the vets and my poor little girl has to stay for a few more hours. It turns out they had to remove a couple teeth because they were rotten!! I'm feeling so horrible. I love her to pieces, but I feel like I have let her down by not taking proper care of her. Before we got her she had not had a great life. The shelter told us she had 3 different homes before being dropped off outside their door. She was thin and malnourished and relied on the shelter's 5pm feeding schedule (wet food). I've had cats before and I have never given them wet food once they were adults and they've never had teeth problems. But Cilla was different. We tried to wean her off of it when we first brought her home but she refused to eat dry food and would howl if we didn't give her the wet stuff. My husband and I wanted her to be happy and to begin to feel settled with us so we have carried on with wet food once a day in addition to dry. Is this the reason her teeth have gotten so bad?? Have we done this to her? As much as we love her, a part of me is feeling like we don't deserve her, like we should find another home for her. I almost feel like I have abused her by not taking care of her like we should have. I think I just need some help. How do we get her off the wet food without making her unhappy? She is just like a child to me and I love her desperately. I just want her to be happy and feel secure. Any ideas? Thanks Summer Don't beat yourself up with guilt, you've done perfectly well by this cat. A lot of cats have to have teeth cleaning and even tooth removal, just as we humans do. You don't have to take her off canned food (some say it's actually better than dry). What you might want to do is try to start brushing her teeth. PetSmart sells pet toothbrushes and meat-flavored toothpaste for cats. If she won't allow you to do this, don't fret (mine would never allow it), just have the vet check her teeth when she gets her vacs and have them cleaned when needed (my fourteen-year-old only had to have it done twice, but mine eat Science Diet dry). Hugs, CatNipped > Hi everyone, > [quoted text clipped - 33 lines] > Thanks > Summer > "SummerC" summer@canada-eh.freeserve.co.uk writes: >My 3 year old fur baby is at the vets right now after having her teeth >de-scaled and an id chip injection. We got her from an animal rescue place [quoted text clipped - 28 lines] >is just like a child to me and I love her desperately. I just want her to >be happy and feel secure. Any ideas? My main idea is that you're beating yourself up unnecessarily, and it's not making a lot of sense to me as to why you're so hard on yourself, calling yourself undeserving and thinking you should find her another home and all that. You rescued her and have given her a good life that she almost didn't have without you. You've loved her and cared for her. What more can you do? Eight years ago, I got a 1-year-old cat who had been passed around, neglected, and probably abused. He's had 3 dentals and several teeth pulled. It never occurred to me to blame myself, because my vet said "some pets just have bad teeth," and I believed her. None of my other cats have had dental problems, and I've fed them all the same thing, so that reinforces the idea that this one cat just has bad teeth. I think your cat just has bad teeth, not a bad owner. And wet food is supposed to be better for them than dry, so you're not doing anything awful. Keep feeding her the wet food. Or better yet, talk to your vet about dental care and see if he has any diet advice. My vet wants her people to feed their pets wet food primarily, if not exclusively. Last night I took a good friend to a pet bereavement group therapy session. There were people there who'd rescued horribly abused animals, given them wonderful lives, then had to put them to sleep when they became sick, elderly, and in pain. And everyone was second-guessing themselves as to decisions they made, etc., even though to me (and to the therapist, apparently) it sounded like everyone did as much as they could. The therapist said that if we all made a list of the good things we did for the pets and a list of the bad decisions we made, the first list would be very very long, and the second list would be very very short. And if we made a third list of the things we knowingly did wrong, it would probably have nothing on it. Please think about that. You're a good pet owner. You've done nothing wrong. Your cat just has bad teeth. Daria Timing Is Everything. It *isn't* your fault and you are doing your best. Some cats DO have bad teeth or gums genetically. As long as you are getting kitty vetted and that is the most important thing. > > "SummerC" summer@canada-eh.freeserve.co.uk > [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > and I've fed them all the same thing, so that reinforces the idea that this one > cat just has bad teeth. I think your cat just has bad teeth, not a bad owner. Exactly. My Gnarly was fed wet food only her first three or four years. I then switched to dry for the last 15 years. Never a single dental cleaning, never a single health problem, and she died with all her teeth, just one little chip, no cavities even. She just had great teeth. Kudos for adopting your baby. So many need homes. > She was thin > and malnourished and relied on the shelter's 5pm feeding schedule (wet > food). I've had cats before and I have never given them wet food once they > were adults and they've never had teeth problems. But Cilla was different. > We tried to wean her off of it when we first brought her home but she > refused to eat dry food and would howl if we didn't give her the wet stuff. Wet is MUCH better for them than dry, assuming a good quality food. MUCH better. Dry food, with all the carbs (carbs are sugar), can wreak havok on their teeth. With the low moisture, it can wreak hell on their kidneys and bladder. Feeding dry doesn't do anything for the teeth and it can even be harmful for cats who don't drink enough. > My husband and I wanted her to be happy and to begin to feel settled with us > so we have carried on with wet food once a day in addition to dry. Is this > the reason her teeth have gotten so bad?? Have we done this to her? I doubt it. Honestly, some cats just get bad teeth. In the future, you may want to brush her teeth every week. I brush my femals cats' teeth every week. One of them never gets plaque. Another gets a little. My boy's teeth and gums are horrible and he needs his teeth brushed twice a week. > As much as we love her, a part of me is feeling like we don't deserve her, > like we should find another home for her. No, don't do that. She's been moved around enough and you obviously love her. > How do we get her off the wet food without making her unhappy? Don't. Put her back on it and ditch the dry. Just start watching her teeth and cleaning them weekly as needed. Don't beat yourself up over it. We all do the best we can and learn from life. You love her. She loves you. The problem is getting fixed. So, everything has worked out all right, eh? She's lucky to have owners who care so much for her.  Signature-- ~kaeli~ She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off. http://www.ipwebdesign.net/wildAtHeart http://www.ipwebdesign.net/kaelisSpace > Hi everyone, > > My 3 year old fur baby is at the vets right now after having her teeth > de-scaled and an id chip injection. <snip> Don't feel bad at all!! The worst thing you could do for this baby is to make her adjust to yet another home. You are doing everything right. Some cats do just have bad teeth, just like people. It may be just her physical make-up, or it could have been from her previous care. We just had a cat at the shelter who is only 4, and she had to have all but a few teeth pulled. Signature-Kelly kelly at farringtons dot net www.kelltek.com Check out www.snittens.com > Hi everyone, > >> As much as we love her, a part of me is feeling like we don't deserve her, > like we should find another home for her. I almost feel like I have abused > her by not taking care of her like we should have. Jesus! Would you really do this to her over your mistake? If so, you win Most Lame Rationalization of the year. Get her teeth taken care of and add a bit of dry food and regular dental checkups to your routine. Don't add insult to injury by abandoning her now. >> Hi everyone, >> [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > and regular dental checkups to your routine. Don't add > insult to injury by abandoning her now. I'm surprised to read this Mary. I think everyone else who responded to my post realised how upset I was and were quite understanding. No I would never EVER give my little girl away. I love her more than is probably healthy. But I was upset...very upset and the thought of me hurting her was more than I could deal with. I'm sorry if you took offense to it. Summer "SummerC" <summer@canada-eh.freeserve.co.uk> wrote in message > I'm surprised to read this Mary. I think everyone else who responded to my > post realised how upset I was and were quite understanding. No I would > never EVER give my little girl away. I love her more than is probably > healthy. But I was upset...very upset and the thought of me hurting her was > more than I could deal with. I'm sorry if you took offense to it. It just worried me. I'm sorry if I sounded harsh. > "SummerC" <summer@canada-eh.freeserve.co.uk> wrote in message > I'm > surprised to read this Mary. I think everyone else who responded to my [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > > It just worried me. I'm sorry if I sounded harsh. Nothing to worry about. I'm new here and I didn't want anyone getting the wrong ideas about me. I'm not someone who has what I call "convenience pets", great as long as they suit your lifestyle, but expendable when they don't. That is definitely not me. I love my baby girl very very much...she keeps me happy and sane. :) > Hi everyone, > > My 3 year old fur baby is at the vets right now after having her teeth > de-scaled and an id chip injection. Thank you everyone who responded to this. Cilla is home now and seems to be ok, if not a little unsteady on her feet. The vet had to remove a lot of teeth. She is left with her canines and one or two others. I will have to talk to the vet on Saturday when she has her post-op appointment about wet vs dry. I was always under the assumption that dry food was better for them. Perhaps I have been misinformed?? Thanks again for all of your responses. I wrote right after I had heard from the vets office and I think I went to pieces thinking about her having to go through all of that alone. I would never ever give her away. Our world revolves around this little kitty, she's too important to us and too settled with us for me to even imagine life without her. Is it possible to love your pet TOO much?? Because just looking at her makes me smile. I'm rambling though. Thank you so much for your support and information. Summer > > Hi everyone, > > [quoted text clipped - 17 lines] > > Summer Grant only has his canines and front teeth. He eats well. I would sure recommend staying on wet. He eats kibble too, but he was totally on dry food when he had his teeth out and up to that point. Now he eats wet as it is better for his urinary tract. Food just really doesn't make a huge difference. Glad she is home. "SummerC" <summer@canada-eh.freeserve.co.uk> > Thanks again for all of your responses. I wrote right after I had heard > from the vets office and I think I went to pieces thinking about her having > to go through all of that alone. I would never ever give her away. Yay! She needs you. Our > world revolves around this little kitty, she's too important to us and too > settled with us for me to even imagine life without her. Is it possible to > love your pet TOO much?? Because just looking at her makes me smile. I'm > rambling though. Thank you so much for your support and information. Oh, I don't know, Summer, you sound like the perfect cat mom to me. :) > Thank you everyone who responded to this. Cilla is home now and seems to be > ok, if not a little unsteady on her feet. Yay! > The vet had to remove a lot of > teeth. She is left with her canines and one or two others. I will have to > talk to the vet on Saturday when she has her post-op appointment about wet > vs dry. I was always under the assumption that dry food was better for > them. Perhaps I have been misinformed?? Read this. Megan posted it yesterday, I think, and it's very informative, yet written in English. ;) (as opposed to vet-inese *LOL* ) http://www.catsincanada.com/articles/feeding.html > Is it possible to > love your pet TOO much?? Not in my opinion. *smiles* Glad you're all doing well. Signature-- ~kaeli~ If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? http://www.ipwebdesign.net/wildAtHeart http://www.ipwebdesign.net/kaelisSpace >Is this >the reason her teeth have gotten so bad?? Have we done this to her? Maybe that's why she preferred wet food. There's no way her teeth got that bad in just one year. When I adopt a new cat I take them in for a physical and make sure the vet looks at their teeth. Except for one kitten I've always ended up with cats with dental issues, probably because I like to adopt older cats. |
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