Cat Forum / Health and Behavior / September 2004
Broken hearted
|
|
Thread rating:  |
Joaba@webtv.net - 01 Sep 2004 19:03 GMT In searching for the best cat info--picked your group. I am sitting here, bloody-hurt-- and oh so sad. First off I am very used to cats--have a great, and loving past with them.
I adopted 2 beautiful short hair girls. They were due to be put down . Owner did not tell me one is unbelievable. I have only seen 1 trully visous(sp) cat in my life. Well the battle started when we brought them to their new home- Separate carrying cases---all the best---my 90 yrs old Mom went to round up Hell cat. She attached. Ok--I forgave--new everything etc. Next time someone let her out , not on purpose---With the help of a big man I got her back inside. A few bites drew blood---Okay, today had to gently put flea collor on---all hell broke loose. She took me to the floor, chewed me bad. Now I cannot touch her, I have lymphdema and if she gets that arm ---could lose it. I have done everything I know to win her over---but I think I must call it quits-- I feel horrible---the other kitty has loved me from the first moment. Please help Joan
Mary - 01 Sep 2004 20:19 GMT > I have lymphdema and if she gets that arm ---could lose it. I >have done everything I know to win her over---but I think I must call it >quits-- >I feel horrible---the other kitty has loved me from the first moment. >Please help I would just let the cat stay in one room for right now. Don't try to touch her or get near her. Give her time to calm down. You could also try some catnip. Just put it on the rug. Hopefully she'll like it. That's how I tamed my once feral like cat. You could also try some valium to relax her while she gets used to her new surrounding. There is also "rescue remedy" and "feliway" that might calm her down. Sounds like she's scared half to death. Good luck.
Sherry - 01 Sep 2004 22:58 GMT >Give her time to calm down. You could also try some catnip. >Just put it on the rug. Catnip makes two of my cats aggressive and mean.
Sherry
Annie Wxill - 01 Sep 2004 21:35 GMT > In searching for the best cat info--picked your group. I am sitting > here, bloody-hurt-- and oh so sad. > Joan Joan, I've never encountered a cat like that, but I heard that some cats are just vicious for no obvious explanation. This is rare, but can happen. Sometimes it is temporary. It's possible that your cat is reacting to the stress of the move, but that reaction seems extreme to me. If you have not already done so, you should find out more about this cat's behavioral and medical background. See if you can find out if she has always been this way and if not, when and under what conditions did it start. Bear in mind that some cats who are perfectly fine at home can be holy terrors at the vet's, but this cat might have a medical condition, brain tumor, something that causes the vicious behavior. Also, think about your own environment. Maybe the cat smelled a strange cat or some perfume or cleaning product odor that set her off. If it continues or is the cat's usual behavior, she may be a danger to the other cat as well as to you. Depending on what you find out and given your own medical condition, you may be able rehome the cat, maybe as a barn cat. Or, sadly, you may have to euthanize her if she can't be helped. Meanwhile, Feliway spray (not on the cat, but in the environment) may help some. Keep the cat isolated in a quiet area. Wear leather gloves and long sleeves and long pants if you need to go in to feed or clean the litter box, etc. By-the-way, there are safer alternatives to flea collars. You might ask the vet for a recommendation. Good luck. You are kind to take these cats in. It was very unfair if the previous owner knowingly kept from you information that you need to know about this cat's behavior. Annie
Joaba@webtv.net - 01 Sep 2004 22:40 GMT Thank you for your post (both of you) Now i am very mad, got a lot of info from ex-owner---Emma--hellcat has been like this for several years.---She is 16 yrs old, has always been very hard t handle unless given her own way. Almost had alawsuit over a sever attack. She and the good kitty- have been together for 4yrs. Mimi stays away from her. Owner had a dog that Emma hurt bad. She has been given catnip--goodies---you name it and walks around enjoying her 30 min after the scene she came over to me and I was allwed to pat her head. sorry for the typos---still so upset. Ex-owner says se wants to be outside---I do not and will not allow that. Have had cats for 50 yrs---hate for them to go outside----Has been given good vet care---no illnesses---nothing---I don't think this is fair to Mimi she was in my lap one hour and kissing---loving me. What have I got myself into. Thank you guys so much. Joan self
Karen Chuplis - 01 Sep 2004 23:05 GMT > Thank you for your post (both of you) > Now i am very mad, got a lot of info from ex-owner---Emma--hellcat has [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > Thank you guys so much. Joan > self If letting her out makes her happier, Iwould sure consider it.
Sherry - 01 Sep 2004 23:07 GMT Ex-owner says se wants to
>be outside---I do not and will not allow that. Oh, man, that sounds familiar. I've already posted to you about my son's cat. This is *exactly* what the deal is with him. I don't let him out here because he isn't familiar with my house and might get lost. He is allowed to go outside at home. So he turns into the cat from hell. He's a perfect gentleman at home. It would be good if there was a nice, adults-only, rural home she could go to and have outdoor access for a couple hours a day. Poor Emma. And poor you. I hope you're able to come to a good solution for both of you.
Sherry
Have had cats for 50
>yrs---hate for them to go outside----Has been given good vet care---no >illnesses---nothing---I don't think this is fair to Mimi she was in my >lap one hour and kissing---loving me. What have I got myself into. >Thank you guys so much. Joan > self Mary - 01 Sep 2004 23:11 GMT > Good luck. You are kind to take these cats in. It was very unfair if the previous owner knowingly kept from you information that you need to know about this cat's behavior.
Not to mention, why the hell did the previous owner keep the *&$% cat for 16 years and
A) not rectify the bad behavior and B) give the cat up!
Sherry - 01 Sep 2004 22:57 GMT >I adopted 2 beautiful short hair girls. They were due to be put down . >Owner did not tell me one is unbelievable. I have only seen 1 trully [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] >Please help > Joan I don't mean to sound brusque, Joan, but first get rid of the flea collar. They are toxic, most of them not effective anyway, and it's just one more thing to stress the cat if she's not used to a collar. Try Advantage, Frontline or something. This is just anecodotal, but my son's cat sounds just like your hell cat. I've had to babysit him on occasion, and sometimes all you have to do is pet him and he acts viciously. I found out he's okay if I totally ignore him. I don't even act like I see him. I've only kept him for a few days at a time, so I don't know if that approach continued would eventually settle him down. I also have to keep him separated from all other cats, because that sets him off too. In your case, though, I can't help wondering if there's a medical issue and the cat's in pain or something. Although there *are* some cats that are just highly agressive, it's certainly not normal for them to be.
Mary - 01 Sep 2004 23:18 GMT > In searching for the best cat info--picked your group. I am sitting here, bloody-hurt-- and oh so sad.
I just wanted to say that I am really sorry the cat hurt your mother and that you are getting all of this grief instead of the joy that rescuing cats can bring. You clearly are a loving, good cat mom and you deserve better. I have never dealt with a truly vicious animan--just a REALLY MEAN one that loved me and so usually pulled her "punches," so to speak. I imagine it feels like a slap in the face. Poor kitty, too, who knows what she has been through to make her that way. I agree with you that she should not be let out if you live in an area where cars travel through. If you must rehome her as a barncat via a shelter, or even if you must return her to a death sentence, you cannot risk injury to you, your mother, or your other loved ones. I hope someone here can help you to find a solution.
kaeli - 01 Sep 2004 23:24 GMT > I adopted 2 beautiful short hair girls. They were due to be put down . > Owner did not tell me one is unbelievable. Maybe she wasn't - with her owner. You are a stranger. No matter how long you've had her, until she trusts you, you're a stranger.
> I have only seen 1 trully > visous(sp) cat in my life. Haven't met my Rowan. *g* Lovely cat. To me. Has big red letters that say I BITE on her vet chart.
> Well the battle started when we brought them > to their new home- Separate carrying cases---all the best---my 90 yrs > old Mom went to round up Hell cat. Why? Round up from where? Did she corner a terrified cat and expect it not to lash out?
> She attached. Ok--I forgave--new > everything etc. Next time someone let her out Let her out where? Outside, or out of a room? Where was she?
> the help of a big man I got her back inside. Why did she need to go "back inside"? Did she get outside the house?
> A few bites drew > blood---Okay, today had to gently put flea collor on---all hell broke > loose. Again, why a collar? The neck is the most sensitive thing for an animal. Many animals will bite if you touch their necks if they don't know and trust you. Grabbing a cat by the scruff or any part of the neck is either dominance, discipline, or an attack to their way of thinking. Only ultra-domesticated and VERY trusting cats will quietly allow a strange, non-trusted human to handle them and put something around their neck. Think about what you are doing - from the cat's POV.
A few fleas on her is preferable to destroying your chance at earning her trust. Leave off the meds she doesn't absolutely HAVE to have (all, hopefully) until she trusts you. Handling her roughly, which I assume must be done to subdue her to medicate her, would reduce her trust even more.
> I > have done everything I know to win her over Have you left her alone?
We need a lot more info here to really be of help. How long has she been with you? How old is she? Where does she usually stay? (in a room, outside, in the basement, huddled in a favorite corner...?) Have you given her time to adjust by just leaving her alone and letting her come to you? Or have you always tried to approach her?
Many cats don't like or trust strangers. My girls would have a fit if I dumped them at a strange house and then the human there tried to pick them up. My boy Jeffrey would be scared, but probably love you anyway. Rowan would flay you to pieces with teeth and claws. Isis would flay you accidentally as she tried to flee out of your arms, but probably wouldn't hurt you on purpose.
Is there some reason you feel the need to approach her? Why can't she live with you, free from being approached at all until such time as she chooses to initiate it? I don't know enough about your situation to know these answers, so please give us more details. As much as you can. The more you tell us, the more we can help.
In the meantime, a few helpful hints on how to get my Rowan to allow you (a stranger) to touch her, in the hopes that it might give you some insight with your new girl. 1. Don't ever move towards her. Let her come sniff you. It may take awhile. Like, hours. If you move towards her, you're done for the day. She'll take off and go hide and won't come out until you're gone. 2. Don't look right in her eyes. 3. Don't talk loudly, don't move suddenly. 4. Don't EVER try to pick her up or restrain her in any way. 5. DO offer her food. :) 6. When offering food, toss it in her general direction, but not AT her. Don't expect her to take it from you. She won't. 7. DO speak softly and in a higher-than-normal tone of voice to her, much like you would to an infant. Kissy noises optional. *grin* 8. DO bring out the flashy kitty ribbon toy, but don't try to grab her as soon as she decides it's okay to play with it. Just play and then leave her be. Don't try to touch her right away.
It took my Mom 4 hours to get the cat to sniff her foot. It took the little neighbor boy 5 minutes (for the foot-sniffing thing) when she was outside on lead. Why? Because he was busy playing - ignoring her. She was interested in his ball and not threatened in any way. As soon as he tried to pet her, though, that was it. She moved off. Had he remained still, she might have gotten even closer.
Don't give up on your girl. She doesn't understand what's happened. She's only doing what she feels she must. So, it's up to you to find out why she feels she must, then go about winning her over HER way. Like humans, cats are unique beings. It may take weeks for her to trust you enough to sniff you now - be patient.
I hope everything works out for all of you.
 Signature -- ~kaeli~ "No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously." http://www.ipwebdesign.net/wildAtHeart http://www.ipwebdesign.net/kaelisSpace
Joaba@webtv.net - 02 Sep 2004 01:22 GMT Wow---lots of questions---will try to answer as best I can---I was not a stranger to the girls. New owner yes. It surprised me they road quietly here. We brought all their stuff---litter boxes toys everthing, so their scent came also. I didnot expect to be a new mom---came in let them out to explore. Each one did not run---I thought it best to close up 2 back rooms, just for a little while. Good kitty did the usual checking all out. Hellcat went to the bathroom to check it out, okay Mom did not make any bad move to her having had cats she was talking baby talk and went to pick up--I told no leave her, Mom did not get hurt.
Not 30 mins later both cats were coming up to us and allow us to pat their heads. I waited till they were in their new room and we left them alone. Next morning they ran out happy to say good morning. Also ate food from our hands.
Why the flea collars? Since both have worn one for years, they looked old so we bought new ones the best thinking this was familiar to them. I know about the other stuff but tried to temporily stay t their routine. They have had excellent vet care---no bad anything. I live in a very woody small village my yard is often filled with all knds of good and sick critters---thats why I did not want them out---only gave them catnip once no effect. I havc found horribly hurt sores etc on the many cats frm the woods. She does not ever run or hide from me- Looks like to say " look but no touch." I think the post is going out will continue. Thank you all so much Joan
Joaba@webtv.net - 02 Sep 2004 02:09 GMT Almost done. Her past history as I stated is very bad. She was allowed to do whatever---never to be picked up---How in the h---can you take good care of a cat you can never pick up. How do Iget her to my vet, when needed? Meds ear keeping clean---and she kills mice- chipmonks sooner or later she will go the way of the other poor sick animals living around here. Also, I must thinkof Mimi---she could give her the bad germs etc, Is that fair to Mimi? Last i I give in and let her out ? She may decide to go hunting and nver come back? In my first post I said I only saw this one other time---friends had a pure white cat--bought at a damn pet shop---not a good one---after a few months horror began---on their vets advise it was deaf and this he had seen before. Said bet to put her to sleep. My hubby had to dress i battle gear---vet told us be very careful do not try to put in cage to bring it in. Put in a pillow case. This vet knew this cat very well, and never took it out of the case . I never want to go thru something like that again. Thats about it will let her out and hope for the best. Joan
kaeli - 02 Sep 2004 16:24 GMT > Almost done. Her past history as I stated is very bad. She was allowed > to do whatever---never to be picked up---How in the h---can you take > good care of a cat you can never pick up. People who care for ferals might be able to give you good advice, as they usually cannot be handled, either. I read your other post where you said she was 16 - that's a senior citizen. This cat will probably never be able to be handled like other cats, where you can just pick her up and she's happy with you for it. She's had 16 years to get set in her ways. Effecting change now would be a huge, long, drawn-out process that takes a LOAD of patience.
If you love her, just let her live her last years as she would. Don't try to handle her unless it's absolutely necessary. Look, but don't touch, as you said. Just giving her a home is wonderful of you. Many people would just have her put down. To just let her live the rest of her life in your home, without the need to pet her if she doesn't want to be pet, is probably all this cat really wants.
> How do Iget her to my vet, > when needed? With heavy gloves or sedatives, more than likely. Your vet could give you a sedative to put in her food to calm her enough to handle.
> Meds ear keeping clean---and she kills mice- chipmonks > sooner or later she will go the way of the other poor sick animals > living around here. Also, I must thinkof Mimi---she could give her the > bad germs etc, If Mimi is vaccinated, I doubt you will have any problems. The only real danger, illness-wise, from other animals is rabies and distemper. Not counting fights and injuries, that's really all you need to worry about, so if they are both kept vaccinated, they're relatively safe. Nothing is 100%, but it's nothing to get all worried about, especially if Mimi stays indoors.
Honestly, as anti-outside-cat as I am, if I had a 16 year old cat who had always gone outside (so she's obviously pretty saavy, lasting that long), and she was as difficult as this one, and I lived in your area, I'd just let her go out if she wanted. The cat is obviously not happy if she can't go out. Letting her out might make her a more loving cat when she's in, too. You have to weigh the risks and dangers as well as how happy the cat is - most cats are perfectly happy indoors. But if this cat is miserable not being able to go out, the choice is that 1. she's miserable, but healthy for a few more years to come, or 2. happy but possibly with a shorter life from injury or illness.
Since it seems that you are thinking of giving up on her, which is almost guaranteed to be a death sentence at a shelter, I'd think choice #2 would be just fine.
My 5 cents, FWIW.
 Signature -- ~kaeli~ Kill one man and you are a murderer. Kill millions and you are a conqueror. Kill everyone and you are God. http://www.ipwebdesign.net/wildAtHeart http://www.ipwebdesign.net/kaelisSpace
Marievulsion - 02 Sep 2004 18:45 GMT > Her past history as I stated is very bad. She was allowed >to do whatever---never to be picked up---How in the h---can you take >good care of a cat you can never pick up. This doesn't sound so uncommon to me. I have had a Hellcat for 9 years now. I know she was never abused, as I've had her since birth - just a very timid cat. I can't imagine trying to pick up Tabisha, she'd freak out.
The one time I took her to the vets she tore me apart, and that was at home trying to get her into the carrier. I DID get her there that one time to have her spayed, drooling and hysterical, banging her head on the carrier. That was her only trip to the vets. My other three go regularly.
She's a wonderful girl, she comes around to have her head petted - but I'm not allowed to approach her. If I do reach my hand at her too aggressively, she WILL scratch and will definitely bite. I suppose these are cats who prefer to be admired from a distance. I can appreciate that - don't give up on her.
|
|
|