We've now had Marbles 2 weeks.  He's a darling, sweet kitty that purrs all the
time, potties where he's supposed to, doesn't have any horrible habits but...my
original kitties, Scottie and Abbey, are horrified of him.

We kept Marbles confined to two rooms for about 4 days when we first got him.
Scottie and Abbey did not seem to mind that there was another cat in the house.
There was no hissing at the door or paws under the door or any major interest
shown by any of the concerned parties.  So, on the 4th day, we put a baby gate
up on his door.  This has been what we have done in the past.  Well, about 2
minutes later, he jumped it and was out in the rest of the house so end of that
plan.  For the next several days, we let him be out with them except when we
were at work or asleep (which is the majority of the time except on weekends).
A few times, they all laid close to each other in the family room and once he
and Scottie ate some grass about a foot apart.  But, mostly, there is posturing
by both Scottie and Marbles and twice there has been a shrieking cat fight with
minimal contact.  Abbey mostly hisses at Marbles.  But on Sunday,
inadvertently, Marbles somehow chased Scottie and Abbey back into the 2 rooms
and there they have remained for 4 days now.  They hide under the bed and only
come out if the door is shut and he is locked out.  So, once again, while we
are at work or asleep, they are locked in and when we are home and awake, we
let Marbles in.  He will lay under the bed with them and nothing happens, no
growling or hissing.  He will lay about a foot away from them.  If they happen
to be out from under the bed when he comes into the 2 rooms, the posturing
begins, primarily on his part, directed at Scottie.  Scottie holds his ground
for a few minutes and then bolts under the bed with Marbles chasing him.  This
is making me ill.  I feel so bad for Scottie and Abbey to be prisoners in their
own home while he has free rein.  I'm sure they're miserable.  Once we shut him
out at night, they get in bed with us and act semi-normal but they seem to be
horrified of him.  He is smaller than both of them.  They are all
neutered/spayed and have been that way since they were youngsters.  Scottie is
7, Marbles is 6, Abbey is 3.  Marbles is from a six cat family where he
supposedly got along wonderfully with the other 5 cats (I have emailed his
former mom and this is what she tells me).  Scottie has lived with 4 other cats
during the time we've had him and Abbey has lived with 3 others.  It was not
all lovey-dovey with them all but there was no fighting, just ignoring of the
others and an occasional hissing or swatting incident.  Will this ever resolve?

I have 2 Feliway diffusers at each end of the house so everyone is getting a
whiff of that.  One has been in place for almost a week, the other for about 4
days.  I know it can take awhile to work but I also know it doesn't always
work.  I sincerely fear that Scottie and Abbey will never, ever come out if he
is in the room with them.  I am afraid to just let him have free run because
I'm afraid they will freak out and start pottying under the bed and quit eating
and we all know that it is very bad when cats quit eating.  Therefore, I lock
him out those times when we are not around so they can eat and relax and potty.
Tony thinks we should not close any doors anymore and let them work it out
but, as I said, I'm afraid Scottie and Abbey will never come out, will become
more neurotic, and wind up miserable, unhappy cats.  Scottie is a former feral
and so is quite sensitive but since he's always gotten along with our other
cats, I never thought this would happen or I would not have gotten another cat.

Some of my friends and my mom (who is 2,000 miles away) think I owe my first
loyalty to Scottie and Abbey and should return Marbles.  He is from a no-kill
rescue group who would take him back and then he would be back to life in a
cage until someone else adopts him and he will have the stigma of not getting
along with other cats on his adoption card.  We love him now, too, and don't
want to get rid of him.  I would feel like a failure if I did that.  I can't
remember how long it has taken us to integrate other cats in the past; I know
there were some rough times but this is seeming like it is worse and longer.  I
guess we should have gotten a kitten but I wanted to adopt an older cat since
they are harder to place and we have integrated adult cats before.

I feel Marbles is generally the aggressor and I don't understand why.  We have
no other room to lock Marbles into in order to get Scottie and Abbey out of
these back rooms.  We could do the bathroom but Marbles is a very vocal and
loud cat so I know he would be howling if we put him in there and Scottie and
Abbey would be too afraid to come out of those rooms then anyway.  I think part
of the problem is Marbles' vocalness.  He walks around meowing much of the time
and I think Scottie and Abbey interpret that as aggression even though he seems
to do it all the time even when they're not around.  The only time he is not
excessively vocal is if he is laying under the bed with them or close by them.
I think he wants to like them but can't stop showing aggression.

Am I being unfair to S and A?  Am I ruining their lives?  Will this ever work
out?  Should I take him back?  We would miss him and feel awful but is that the
only solution?  Does it absolutely have to work out in time or is it possible
that we could fast forward 6 months and things would still be the same?  Should
we do as Tony wants and somehow drag S and A out from under the bed, toss them
into the other part of the house, and prevent them from being able to get back
under the bed and force the 3 of them to co-exist?  Should we continue the
separation?  Should I give Marbles' time-outs whenever he aggresses toward
them?  Should I squirt him with a spray bottle when he begins to posture?  Is
it still within the bounds of normality that they are hostile or if it's still
going on, does it mean it will never resolve?  Would clomicalm help?

I've read all the cat intro articles but no one gives a time frame or says what
to do if it doesn't seem to be working.  Right now, Marbles is sound asleep on
top of the bed while S and A are underneath.  Last night, Marbles and Scottie
briefly laid on top of the bed together without incident.  It seems that if
Scottie is standing up or sitting up that Marbles then aggresses but if S is
laying down, M is not aggressive.  But poor Scottie, I would like for him to be
able to stand and walk again in his own home.  I think Abbey, who is very close
to S, is following his lead.  On her own, I don't think she would be quite as
fearful.  Can this family be saved?

Candace
(take the litter out before replying by e-mail)

See my cats:
http://photos.yahoo.com/maccandace

"One does not meet oneself until one catches the reflection from an eye other
than human."  (Loren Eisely)