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Cat Forum / Health and Behavior / June 2004Unfriendly Kitty :(
Our new kitty is about 12 weeks old now. We've had him about a month. When we first got him, he was sweet and loveable and would come and sit in my lap. That lasted about a week. Now he's completely stand-offish, and runs and hides whenever I approach. If I ever do get to pick him up, he squirms away, not wanting to be held. His aloofness seems to have coincided with when he got to be chums with our 4 year old cat, who's pretty aloof himself. They've bonded (the kitten even tries to nurse from him!) and wrestle a lot. I'm wondering if the kitty has picked up his antisocial behavior from our older cat. So what should I expect? Might the kitty grow out of this "phase" or is this a clear indiciation of what his personality is gonna be? His disregard for human companionship and the fact that he does not cover his poop or pee does not leave me with a warm and fuzzy feeling about our new pet. :\ -Fleemo > Our new kitty is about 12 weeks old now. We've had him about a month. > When we first got him, he was sweet and loveable and would come and [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] > > -Fleemo He's being a preteen. Give him space. Sit near him. Be happy when he does want pets. My cats go through big cycles of wanting attention/lap time and times of just sitting near. You will find all kinds of cycles, especially in your very young cats life. They really do have stages just like human preteen/teens/young adult etc. Karen circa Thu, 17 Jun 2004 21:00:43 -0500, in rec.pets.cats.health+behav, Karen Chuplis (kchuplis@alltel.net) said, > He's being a preteen. Give him space. Sit near him. Be happy when he does > want pets. My cats go through big cycles of wanting attention/lap time and > times of just sitting near. You will find all kinds of cycles, especially in > your very young cats life. They really do have stages just like human > preteen/teens/young adult etc. Well put, and I'd agree. :-) Laura  SignatureExperience is the name every one gives to their mistakes. -Oscar Wilde > > So what should I expect? Might the kitty grow out of this "phase" or > > is this a clear indiciation of what his personality is gonna be? His [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > > Karen I agree, and I'd also try to engage him in some play with one of those "interactive toys" (really just a pole with some streamers or feathers on it *g*) so he can play with you and have time with you without having to be touched if he doesn't want to be. My furkids all go crazy for this cheap toy I got at the pet store. It's like a kid's toy fishing pole with a fuzzy ball attached by a thick string. Fishing for kitties. *LOL* They know where I keep it and when I go to get it, they all come running no matter what they were doing. The more you try to pet him and/or pick him up when he isn't in the mood, the more he'll go away when he sees you. He needs to initiate pet time. And you need to stop petting him before he's sick of it so he's left wanting more. ;) Signature-- ~kaeli~ Murphy's Law #2030: If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. http://www.ipwebdesign.net/wildAtHeart http://www.ipwebdesign.net/kaelisSpace >> > So what should I expect? Might the kitty grow out of this "phase" or >> > is this a clear indiciation of what his personality is gonna be? His [quoted text clipped - 25 lines] >time. And you need to stop petting him before he's sick of it so he's >left wanting more. ;) Cat fishing is what I call it. I have a long hall that I use, back and forth chasing the stupid thing, My three just love it too. >> > So what should I expect? Might the kitty grow out of this "phase" or >> > is this a clear indiciation of what his personality is gonna be? His [quoted text clipped - 25 lines] >time. And you need to stop petting him before he's sick of it so he's >left wanting more. ;) my kitty who was kinda needy (well, she is a baby still) when i brought her, after recovering from her illness became a play feind who is not so much into being held and petted. i played "chase" with her yesterday and now she seems to think i am a kitten too, since she tries to engage me into chasing now. at this age, kittens rather play, chase, play-fight and run around instead of cuddling. they will cuddle when they are finally tired, or sleepy, but don't expect them to be lap pets for a while. >> Our new kitty is about 12 weeks old now. We've had him about a month. >> When we first got him, he was sweet and loveable and would come and [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] >> >> -Fleemo My newest kitty is going thru this - well he doesn't run when I get near, but when he doesn't want held he is way too squiggly. I find if I put him down and get a toy like the cat teaser out he is very happy to wear out all that energy and then he is ready for some petting and a nap. I think they need to run off all that kitty energy - sometimes they just aren't in the mood (where have I heard that saying?) I agree with give the kitty space - you both will enjoy each othre more if you don't push and as the kitty mature. Karryl Well, my two girls (I call them that because I am the one that hangs out in this news group) were pretty much as much my cats as they were my wife's when we first got them. It took several months, but eventually they really became my wife's cats. They don't act like they want to give me even the smallest amount of attention. If they are on the divan and I sit there, they both move. If they are laying on the floor and I lay down a few feet from them, they move. They never lay on my side of the bed at night, but always with my wfie between us. I am allowed to pet them when they are laying in certain areas which we call "cat safe zones". They sometimes won't even eat food that I put down unless my wife leads them to the cat food bowls to indicate her approval of whatever I have fed them. Conversly, they follow my wife around the house like she had catnip stuffed in her shoes, she is expected to pick them up often, and they will lay with her anywhere. When my wife is out of the house, they are somewhat more amiable towards me, but never as if I was her equal, and as soon as her car pulls into the driveway they begin acting like I had a had an axe hidden in my shirt. My wife says that they have assumed a "pride" social structure, and since I am a male I am not their equal, but at least I do exist in their world. We have no children in our home, and if one comes to visit they head for under the bed. Likewise, they treat most adults this way, but some they accept immediatly and grace the visitor with affection. I think they are just arrogant butheads that enjoy teasing me! BTW, they do not cover up the liter deposits either, but since my wife taught them to use the liter box, I believe she failed to go the extra mile and teach them to cover it up. Allen circa Fri, 18 Jun 2004 14:11:05 GMT, in rec.pets.cats.health+behav, Goat Roper (xxxxx@sssss.fffff) said, > When my wife is out of the house, they are somewhat more amiable towards me, > but never as if I was her equal, and as soon as her car pulls into the > driveway they begin acting like I had a had an axe hidden in my shirt. But of course; how else to best suck up to the wife? > My wife says that they have assumed a "pride" social structure, and since I > am a male I am not their equal, but at least I do exist in their world. Sounds about right. > We have no children in our home, and if one comes to visit they head for > under the bed. Likewise, they treat most adults this way, but some they > accept immediatly and grace the visitor with affection. > > I think they are just arrogant butheads that enjoy teasing me! You're probably right. > BTW, they do not cover up the liter deposits either, but since my wife > taught them to use the liter box, I believe she failed to go the extra mile > and teach them to cover it up. Nah, that's just part of the arrogance. They want everybody to smell their spoor and don't feel the need to cover it because they're not afraid of being found. :-) Laura SignatureExperience is the name every one gives to their mistakes. -Oscar Wilde figures! allen "Goat Roper" <xxxxx@sssss.fffff> wrote : > I think they are just arrogant butheads that enjoy teasing me! Maybe, but get some cat treats and be patient. Loyalties shift! > Maybe, but get some cat treats and be patient. Loyalties shift! I've tried bribing them with cat treats but usually (not always) they wait until my wife blesses the treat or till at least after i've left the room before they will eat the treat. My wife will give them treats almost religeosly when she leaves the house and they begin the begging routine as soon as they hear the alarm system being set. If the wife isn't home and it's just me leaving they pretty much ignore me. I usually go ahead and give them a treat anyway, which they ignore until I am out the door. When I get back they have eaten the treat, but I get nothing but "the look" if I come home without the wife. If I really want to get "the look" or get them crying i can give the wife a hug. They will play fetch with me, so I guess I should feel blessed. allen circa Fri, 18 Jun 2004 17:40:52 GMT, in rec.pets.cats.health+behav, Goat Roper (xxxxx@sssss.fffff) said, > I've tried bribing them with cat treats but usually (not always) they wait > until my wife blesses the treat or till at least after i've left the room [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > > They will play fetch with me, so I guess I should feel blessed. I think you're right- your cats *are* arrogant so-and-sos. :-) Laura SignatureExperience is the name every one gives to their mistakes. -Oscar Wilde > I think you're right- your cats *are* arrogant so-and-sos. :-) Now if can figure out why I am so fond of them ;-) allen circa Fri, 18 Jun 2004 23:39:37 GMT, in rec.pets.cats.health+behav, Goat Roper (xxxxx@sssss.fffff) said, > > I think you're right- your cats *are* arrogant so-and-sos. :-) > > Now if can figure out why I am so fond of them ;-) Because they're arrogant so-and-sos, of course. Laura SignatureExperience is the name every one gives to their mistakes. -Oscar Wilde Thank you all for your suggestions. I will pick up a fishin' pole and try the love-from-afar approach, see if that gets me in with his good graces. I just thought that these kitten months were going to be precious love fests, and am a bit disappointed, as well as concerned that I'll have an indifferent house guest for the next umpteen years. Allen, thanks for the chuckles. My older cat is much like yours. If I go lay next to him on the floor, he insultingly gets up and moves away a few feet. The kitten was so sweet to begin with, I wonder if he learned his anti-human social behavior from the older cat? Freakin' furball. :P So they don't cover their business in the litterbox either, eh? How do you stand that? It's driving me nuts! -Fleemo > So they don't cover their business in the litterbox either, eh? How > do you stand that? It's driving me nuts! > > -Fleemo A covered litterbox. :) Signature-- ~kaeli~ Never mess up an apology with an excuse. http://www.ipwebdesign.net/wildAtHeart http://www.ipwebdesign.net/kaelisSpace > Thank you all for your suggestions. I will pick up a fishin' pole and > try the love-from-afar approach, see if that gets me in with his good > graces. I just thought that these kitten months were going to be > precious love fests, and am a bit disappointed, as well as concerned > that I'll have an indifferent house guest for the next umpteen years. Actually, kittens are often less lovey than cats as adults (IME). My cats when kittens hung together mostly, although, they have *always* wanted to be on me at the computer or in bed. Sleeping arrangements tend to vary however, with the time of year. circa Fri, 18 Jun 2004 18:56:34 -0500, in rec.pets.cats.health+behav, Karen Chuplis (kchuplis@alltel.net) said, > Actually, kittens are often less lovey than cats as adults (IME). My cats > when kittens hung together mostly, My cats, when kittens, were holy terrors who left skid marks on my head as they tore across it at night while I was sleeping. That was about the most prolonged contact I'd get with 'em without them wriggling away to attack a dust mote. Laura SignatureExperience is the name every one gives to their mistakes. -Oscar Wilde In the fine newsgroup "rec.pets.cats.health+behav", "Goat Roper" <xxxxx@sssss.fffff> artfully composed this message within <news:ZJCAc.2033$OB3.902@bgtnsc05-news.ops.worldnet.att.net> on 18 Jun 2004: > When my wife is out of the house, they are somewhat more amiable > towards me, but never as if I was her equal, and as soon as her [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > and since I am a male I am not their equal, but at least I do > exist in their world. Apparently, you'll do in a pinch. > We have no children in our home, and if one comes to visit they > head for under the bed. Likewise, they treat most adults this > way, but some they accept immediatly and grace the visitor with > affection. They detect your jealousy :) > I think they are just arrogant butheads that enjoy teasing me! Of course they do. They are feline. > BTW, they do not cover up the liter deposits either, but since > my wife taught them to use the liter box, I believe she failed > to go the extra mile and teach them to cover it up. Seriously, cats do attach themselves to a single slave most of time. They know who they can boss around. If there is doubt, they will hide. It is natural. You could go the extra mile and teach by moving paws how to cover up, but being feline, they may or may not decide to emulate you. :) SignatureCheryl |
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