Newly solo cat

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kamasue - 16 Jun 2004 20:40 GMT

Hi all,

I have just recently lost one of my kitties (12 years) to a sudden
pulmonary embolism, and the other cat (Jane) doesn't really seem to
care that much. She is an exclusively indoor cat and reacts very
strongly when other cats are lurking around the house. Additionally,
when my other cat was alive, she would chase the now-deceased one a
lot -- I joked with my boyfriend that Jane thinks she's lost one of
her toy mice, not another cat.

However, Jane is definitely prone to boredom. She's quite the talker
and demands a lot of attention when we're home. I am wondering if I
should bring a new friend into the house or if Jane would just act
hostile toward him/her, as she does toward stranger cats outside the
house. Additionally, I favor adopting adult cats from the shelter
since they tend to get overlooked with all the cute kittens around.
But of course, if a kitten is warranted in these circumstances, I
would be happy to adopt one.

Some more background - now-deceased kitty was the reigning queen of
the household when Jane was adopted -- as a young adult -- but quickly
established dominance. So she's used to being "top cat," as it were.

Any suggestions would be welcomed!

Thanks,
kss

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Laura R. - 16 Jun 2004 20:55 GMT

circa 16 Jun 2004 12:40:34 -0700, in rec.pets.cats.health+behav,
kamasue (kamasue14@yahoo.com) said,

> Hi all,
>
[quoted text clipped - 20 lines]
>
> Any suggestions would be welcomed!

I'd get her a companion, myself. Go to a shelter that has the time
and takes the time to get to know the personalities of the cats they
have. Look for one that is described as being good with other cats
and do the whole gradual introduction thing. You don't say how old
Jane is, but you'd probably be best getting her a cat near her own
age, particularly if she is an older cat. And you'll get to feel
really good for saving the life of an adult cat. :-)

Laura

Signature

Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes.
-Oscar Wilde

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dgk - 17 Jun 2004 02:21 GMT

>circa 16 Jun 2004 12:40:34 -0700, in rec.pets.cats.health+behav,
>kamasue (kamasue14@yahoo.com) said,
[quoted text clipped - 32 lines]
>
>Laura

I'll second the notion of getting an older cat if Jane is fairly old.
I made the mistake of getting a kitten in the same situation, after a
long time buddy died. It turns out that the last thing the surviving
cat needed was a baby. All he wanted to do was lie around and relax
and the 6 month old drove him nuts.

It might take a while but Jane will eventually appreciate the company
of a peer. Sometimes cats never really get along and just tolerate
each other but it seems that they usually warm up to each other. And
since Jane was already in a two cat household, it shouldn't be too
much of a shock.

I think that two cat households don't seem to have the dominant cat
thing going on. None of my pairs had a really obvious dominant cat.

A slow introduction is called for. The new one goes in an isolation
room for a few days to a week. It's better for a new cat to only have
to deal with one room, and better for both of them not to clash. Let
them sniff each other through the door. There are lots of methods for
introducing new cats, just google for cat introductions. I think my
favorite method was to put vanilla extract on the back of each neck,
so they smell the same. I don't know if it works, but it's probably
tasty.

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DG511 - 17 Jun 2004 14:29 GMT

>dgk sonicechoes-spamless@zero-spam-hotmail.com

writes:

>>circa 16 Jun 2004 12:40:34 -0700, in rec.pets.cats.health+behav,
>>kamasue (kamasue14@yahoo.com) said,
[quoted text clipped - 38 lines]
>cat needed was a baby. All he wanted to do was lie around and relax
>and the 6 month old drove him nuts.

ITA. I got Hilary, a 16-year-old cat, a 5-year-old companion cat, Priss, from
the local shelter, where they have volunteers who get to know the cats. It was
a great match in all ways. Priss had some difficulties adapting to the new
environment after having spent her entire life with another family (which moved
overseas and couldn't take her). And she and Hilary never became the best of
friends. But they were companions. When Hilary died two years later, I
adopted another shelter kitty, this time a 1-year-old male, Eddie, for Priss.
And that's worked out, too. Eddie was going through feline adolescence, but
Priss could handle it, and now they're buddies. Had I gotten a 1-year-old for
Hilary, though, it would have been a disaster and a half. Hilary was strongly
dominant, but she didn't have the energy of a younger cat and mostly wanted to
sleep. I think a cat like Eddie would have stressed her out too much.

If you have the option of multiple shelters and/or rescue leagues, talk to them
about older cats. They're harder to place, usually, but for some households
they're the best choice.

>It might take a while but Jane will eventually appreciate the company
>of a peer. Sometimes cats never really get along and just tolerate
>each other but it seems that they usually warm up to each other. And
>since Jane was already in a two cat household, it shouldn't be too
>much of a shock.

This has been my experience, too. Plan on instant hatred growing into
something much more palatable. It won't take that long, and it's worth a
chaotic week or two. Keep them separated for a while, give them each their own
space and their own time with you, and it will work out fine.

>I think that two cat households don't seem to have the dominant cat
>thing going on. None of my pairs had a really obvious dominant cat.

I always have an extremely dominant cat. What was cool about Priss was that she
*let* Hilary be the dominant cat, but now she's the dominant cat over Eddie.

Daria
Timing is everything.

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Mary - 17 Jun 2004 15:39 GMT

> give them each their own space and their own time with you, and it will

work out fine.

In my experience this is the finest advice. It sure worked for my two girls.
They will probably never act like litter mates, nesting and grooming each
other, but they have a healthy respect for one another and now, after two
years, play together more and more.

I never kept them separated via closed doors, but I took Cheeks right into
her territory the day I brought her home. Gradually she and Buddha became
aware of one another, had little skirmishes, and eventually chilled out.
Granted this is easier to do in a three-story house than it would be in a
small apartment. Buddha's box and food are on the first and Cheeks' on the
third. I prepare their feedings on the middle level, where they both watch
me and do their ritual: Cheeks sniffs at Buddha's nose and Buddha slaps at
her. (Although I catch them all the time lying two feet away fromone another
and totally ignoring each other, looks like love to me!) Then I carry one
dish upstairs and one dish down. They tend to play together on the middle
level.

The one time we had conflict was when we carried one into the other's turf.
It upset both of them, but especially the one being carried in.

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Tracy - 17 Jun 2004 19:03 GMT

If your cat is prone to boredom and is used to having a companion,
then yes, by all means, get her a new partner in crime. But most
twelve year old cats would find a kitten a little tiresome. The advice
to get a somewhat younger cat makes sense - but there's lots of room
between kitten and 12. I'd look for a 5-10 year old cat and that is a
great range for a shelter cat. There are so many at that age and they
have a tough time finding new guardians. Try to chat up the volunteers
at the shelter about the cats social skills with other cats. They
usually have a good idea which cats have a positive point of view
about others :>

A slightly shy cat might be advantageous for Jane and give her the
opportunity to get the new cat well-trained in living with her :>

Just be patient during the introduction process. It's never a walk in
the park, but it will probably work out fine in a few months.

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kamasue - 17 Jun 2004 20:13 GMT

Thanks for all of your thoughtful responses. I really appreciate
them.

Jane is, as far as we can tell, middle-aged (7 or so). She was a
"young adult" (according to the shelter) when we got her 5 years ago
so that's our best guess. I guess that getting her a similarly-aged
cat (do you think that gender would matter?) sounds like the best
thing for her.

Thanks again for everyone's input.

-kss

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Laura R. - 18 Jun 2004 07:00 GMT

circa 17 Jun 2004 12:13:52 -0700, in rec.pets.cats.health+behav,
kamasue (kamasue14@yahoo.com) said,

> Thanks for all of your thoughtful responses. I really appreciate
> them.
[quoted text clipped - 4 lines]
> cat (do you think that gender would matter?) sounds like the best
> thing for her.

Some people think gender matters, but in my experience, it's all
about the cats' personalities. I'd look for compatibility based on
behavior rather than gender. :-)

Laura

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Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes.
-Oscar Wilde

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