Cat Forum / Health and Behavior / June 2004
Help 5yr old cat submissive urination / defecation.
|
|
Thread rating:  |
Arthur Mnev - 06 Jun 2004 06:35 GMT I trully do not know if anything can be done at this point. Figured will throw it up there, see if someone had simmilar problem.
The cat is 5 years old and extremely submissive. Its afraid of everything and anything and recently it started 'spilling outside'. The cycle goes: the cat gets scared I pet the cat, - she likes it I pick up the cat, put it on my lap and continue petting, sometimes she purrs in respones all of a sudden i feel the warm stuff all over my leg.... lift up the cat, and there she is peeing right on me. I begin to get ticked off. Throw the cat on the couch and proceed to clean up. Come back to move the cat from the spot where it lended all of a sudden it starts taking a dump right there. The alternative, it gets in the middle of the floor and as I approach it starts... well you got the picture.
This happened on more then one occasion..
Has anyone seen anything like it?
Mary - 06 Jun 2004 08:22 GMT "Arthur Mnev" <arthurmnev@yahoo.com> wrote [a bunch of stuff about a "submissive" cat.
Arthur. History, please. Where was she born, how long have you had her, etc. etc. etc.
Theressa - 10 Jun 2004 04:56 GMT > "Arthur Mnev" <arthurmnev@yahoo.com> wrote [a bunch of stuff about a > "submissive" cat. > > Arthur. History, please. Where was she born, how long have you had her, etc. > etc. etc. Mary, thanks for the reply. I'm Arthur's fiancee. My older cat, Princess, who is going through this situation, is a very emotional (shy and scarred most of the times) cat. She's about 5 years old (if not older). I adopted her from a lady who claimed to work for the local Maine Coon rescue about 4 years ago (she's nowhere to be reached like 99.9% of the times). At that time, the lady told us that Princess was 1 year old. She has always been a very shy and scarred cat. There was nothing we could do to bring out her cat's personalities. I had never asked for Princess' history as I had always been a dog person prior to adopting Princess. Initially, Arthur was getting along with Princess, and in return, Princess adored him. That was until last year when we adopted Miyako. Last year, a friend of ours gave us a kitten -Miyako- a pure breed Maine Coon, whose parents' won a lot of championships in Japan. Princess resented Miya at the beginning. She would hide on top of the cabinets, hissing at everybody who tried to approach her. She was extremely upset at Arthur, and was showing him all kinds of attitude (this was the first time ever I heard her hissing at anybody). But as time goes by, both Princess and Miya get along better. They still don't sleep together unless we're present. But they play together. I don't exactly know what happened to Princess. The "situation" started after Princess came back from the grooming saloon. When I picked her up, I didn't realized that the groomer had cut (some of )her left whiskers !!! I was extremely upset, fearing that this would hurt Princess. Friends told us to not worry as whiskers would grow back. After dropping Princess off at Arthur's place that weekend (she and Miya have been staying at Arthur's place temporarily), the "situation" started. Then it stopped for 3 weeks. Everytime I visit, I'd make sure that I'd pay more attention to Princess than to Miya (Miya's just more easygoing, happy-go-lucky kinda gal). Princess displays no problems whenever I'm around. Last weekend was the first time that I didn't stop by in 2 months (other weekends when I didn't stop by, Princess managed to be fine), and the "situation" started for the second round. Both Arthur and I have gone back and forth to find things that can potentially make Princess feels threatened. We came up with nothing. There isn't anything new in the house, no new perfume, no new food, no new litter. Princess has always been a very neat cat. She even sits properly (with both front paws alligned at all times).
Any help is greatly appreciated. I know that Arthur's patience is running a bit low due to all kinds of stress (work related, etc). Princess had proven to be challenging, but we do love her dearly. We adopted Miya, hoping that the lil cat would bring out Princess' personalities (not the other way around). But this doesn't seem to help either.
Thank you for your help, Theressa
Laura R. - 10 Jun 2004 06:01 GMT circa 9 Jun 2004 20:56:27 -0700, in rec.pets.cats.health+behav, Theressa (mar1an1@yahoo.com) said,
> The "situation" > started after Princess came back from the grooming saloon. When I [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > Miya have been staying at Arthur's place temporarily), the "situation" > started. Was this the first time that Princess had been to a groomer? What was her behavior like when you picked her up?
Laura
 Signature Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes. -Oscar Wilde
Laura R. - 06 Jun 2004 13:09 GMT circa 5 Jun 2004 22:35:30 -0700, in rec.pets.cats.health+behav, Arthur Mnev (arthurmnev@yahoo.com) said,
> I begin to get ticked off. Why do I get the feeling that this is the cause of the problem? Frankly, if you aren't a troll, then you're somebody who shouldn't have pets. Find a home for her with somebody who won't "throw her on the couch" and literally scare the sh.t out of her.
Sorry, but something about your story just isn't ringing true.
Laura
 Signature Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes. -Oscar Wilde
Laura R. - 06 Jun 2004 14:13 GMT circa Sun, 06 Jun 2004 12:09:33 GMT, in rec.pets.cats.health+behav, Laura R. (UseFirstInitialPlusRobinson@technologist.com) said,
> Sorry, but something about your story just isn't ringing true. BTW, the cat should be seen by a veterinarian.
Laura
 Signature Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes. -Oscar Wilde
m. L. Briggs - 06 Jun 2004 18:19 GMT >I trully do not know if anything can be done at this point. Figured >will throw it up there, see if someone had simmilar problem. [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > >Has anyone seen anything like it? It sounds like an abused kitty. She is frightened and has no way to protect itself. What is her history? Was she abused before you got her or is it more recent?
kaeli - 07 Jun 2004 14:50 GMT > I trully do not know if anything can be done at this point. Figured > will throw it up there, see if someone had simmilar problem. [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > > Has anyone seen anything like it? Yes - in abused animals.
The cycle, as the cat sees it...
I get scared. I want to be comforted. A human comes over to me and picks me up. I rather like it. I'm still scared and I lose a little control. The human gets angry, scaring me more (reminding me of past hurts?). I lose more control. The human is very angry. I can tell by his body language, smell, and tone of voice. I don't know what to do. I lose bowel control. The next time I get scared, I feel this desire for comfort, but I know that after the petting, the human gets angry. I don't know whether to approach or not. In my confusion and anticipation, I lose control in the middle of the floor. The human gets angry...
You need to break the cycle. Read her body language. You can tell if she is scared enough to lose control if you pay attention. DO NOT GET ANGRY. It makes it WAY worse. *Before* she loses control, leave. Approach her. Get as close as possible, but not so close that she loses it. Make nice. Coo and talk in a high pitched, friendly voice. Toss some treats if she likes them. Do not make too much eye contact as it is threatening. Do not lean over her - bend down in front of her and hold your hand out and let her come to you. If she looks like she's going to lose it, leave the room immediately (NOT angrily). If she doesn't, let her rub you a couple times and leave anyway with a smile and a kind word. If you do manage to pick her up without her losing it, put her down immediately. Before she has a chance to pee. Leave the room with a smile and a good word. She will learn that being held doesn't lead to your anger in time and you'll be able to hold her for longer periods.
If you miss and she loses it, calmly and gently (not angrily; kindly) put her in another room and go back and clean up. She can't help it. Your anger won't help. You'll be a bit peeved when you're cleaning, so put her somewhere she won't be exposed to that side of you. She needs to trust you, not fear you. She needs to trust that you will love her and never hurt her.
Remember - it's not her fault. Don't blame her or get angry with her for something she can't help. She needs more confidence, not anger and blame. Think of her as a child - you wouldn't punish a frightened child for losing control, would you? (If you would, please rehome the cat and any other living beings you are currently caring for.)
Lastly, patience, patience, patience. The patience of a god. Really. If you can't do that some days (hard day at work, stress, whatever), don't interact with her at all that day. Better to leave her alone completely than to keep going in that cycle. If you think you will never have the patience, please consider rehoming her to someone who does.
 Signature -- ~kaeli~ Humpty Dumpty was pushed! http://www.ipwebdesign.net/wildAtHeart http://www.ipwebdesign.net/kaelisSpace
Annie Wxill - 07 Jun 2004 16:19 GMT > The cycle, as the cat sees it... (regretfully snipped)
> Lastly, patience, patience, patience. The patience of a god. Really. If > you can't do that some days (hard day at work, stress, whatever), don't > interact with her at all that day. Better to leave her alone completely > than to keep going in that cycle. If you think you will never have the > patience, please consider rehoming her to someone who does. > ~kaeli~ Keli, Sorry I had to snip, or my newsreader would not send. This is really great advice. I believe the cat has a medical condition and/or has been seriously abused, either during or previous to her present home. She needs constant kindness and understanding. I hope the O.P. follows your advice. Annie
kaeli - 07 Jun 2004 17:02 GMT > Sorry I had to snip, or my newsreader would not send. This is really great > advice. I believe the cat has a medical condition and/or has been seriously > abused, either during or previous to her present home. She needs constant > kindness and understanding. I hope the O.P. follows your advice. > Annie *slaps self on forehead*
I should have mentioned that possibility. Add taking the cat to the vet to rule out physical problems to that list of mine. :)
Thanks Annie.
 Signature -- ~kaeli~ If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? http://www.ipwebdesign.net/wildAtHeart http://www.ipwebdesign.net/kaelisSpace
|
|
|