unfortunately i have had to endure simliar, as have a couple of my
friends.
When i was working as a teacher I had to take my old cat at the time
(jasper, bless him) into the vets sometime between 8 and 8.30am at
their main surgery in the next town. for most people this would not be
an issue as they woudl just roll in to work a little bit later but
obviously with teachign and schools everything works to a strict
timetable and the kids have to be supervised at all times and if you
are gong to be late you have get your missed lessons covered and have
a damn good excuse for doing so (for example , you have just died or
something). Anyway i asked if someone could cover my morning
registration period for my tutor group which woudl start at 8.35 am
until 8.55am as i could not guarantee that with all the rush hour
traffic around at that time that i would be in school in time. when i
asked the assistant head for this he looked at me as though i had just
landed from mars or something, and repeated "you want someone to cover
your morning registration whilst you take your cat to the vet!!!!! are
you having a laugh??!!!", and i had to point out that the cat could
not very well take itself to the vets so i had to do it and i had to
drop him off in that particular window of time. Basically i was made
to feel as though i was aksing the earth of them and when i got back
to school by 9am after much stressfull rushing about and going through
red lights to get there, i was really made to feel as though i had
really 'let the side down' by a number of people for just not being
there for some poxy 20 minute registration time (which for the
uninitiated is just when you call the register and read out notices to
your class, no actual teaching occurs).

What made me more annoyed was that for the next 3 days of that week
another woman in my dept took the rest of the week off whilst we had
to cover her lessons for her, and why? cos her snotty nosed kid had a
cold and so of course she has to stay at home tolook after him. when i
raised an objection i was told 'it is a sick child and you could not
possibly understand'. remember that the woman herself was not ill,
just her smelly kid.

it happens time and again, and it pisses me off, how else was jasper
supposed to get the vets in time to be sedated for his op and dental?
he had to be there as early as possible. how dare they give me grief
over that, but the bastards did.

another time, i had a phone call form my dad tellign me that he had
jusy had to take tegan (childhood cat, my chocolate tortie princess,
had her since she was a kitten) to the vet as she had thrown up blood
and that they had found a massive tumour in her stomach and they were
advising to have her put to sleep the next day. Well that was a no
brainer for me, i just rang up the school and told them that i would
not be in the next day because I had a sick cat and was going to take
it to the vet to be put to sleep, i was not going to ASK for
permission to take the day off, i was goin to TELL themn that was what
i was going to do, SOD 'EM!!!!! i had to take the day off anyway cos i
had to drive down to my dad's place and then on to the vet's and I
wanted to spend some time with tegan to say goodbye and even if they
had done it in the mornign there was NO WAY i woudl have gone back
into school to deal with all those nasty little hooligans in there
inthe state i knew i would be in, i woudl be a wreck. if it had been a
human family member then noone woudl have said anythign and i woudl
have probably been allowed the week off or something, but with a cat,
who to me and my dad and brother was as much a part of our family as
anyone else and who we had had around for 17 years, is often
considered nothing to get worked up about, apparantly. If i had asked
for the day off to go and say goodbye they woudl have said 'no', which
is why i just told them that i was going to take it, no argument.

in the end I am glad i did because tegan got a stay of execution and
when i went into the vets she perked up and i persuaded them to let
her live for a bit longer (ok we did string it out too long inthe end
but she did not need to be put down that day, her quality of life was
ok at the time). yes i got some vicious comments the next day but
quite frankly they can f.ck off, and i took great pleasure in tellign
them how much more valuable a creature and individual little Tegan was
compared to some of the lowlifes i had to work with and teach in that
school and that i woud have no qualms in doing the same again, and
that she had contributed much more love to the world around her than
some of th destructive humans i had ever encountered in my life.

I pains me to say it but you really are not alone, i have encountered
such arseholes myself, but now i just ignore them cos they are all
w.nkers basically and have their priorities all wrong. these are the
people who say that cats are aloof and unfriendly, well they obviously
have not spent any time in the company of a cat as they woudln't come
out with that crap if they had.
i could call my cats many things (mad, deranged, bonkers, greedy,
dopey, loving, insane, playful, adoring) but never aloof.

keep your chin up mate, we are here for you and we do understand what
you are goin g through

purrs to your poor little mistress, hope she gets better soon
bookie

----------
You're right. Many years ago, when I was just out of college and still
living with my parents, my first cat was diagnosed with feline leukemia
(this was in the days before there were blood tests and vaccines for this).
At the time, my parents spent several hundred dollars trying to save him
(the vet initially diagnosed him with bronchitis). Despite our best efforts,
the cat lasted only about three weeks after the diagnosis, and he was really
suffering, so we had him euthanized (we waited too long). I was very
depressed the next day at work. One of my coworkers said "Oh, for crying out
loud, it's only a cat !!" and  "Your parents must really have liked that cat
to have spent so much money on it." When I pointed out to the woman that she
would probably do the same for her dog, she answered "That's different.
That's a dog."

Last year, when Molly was dying, I expressed my sadness to someone whom I
thought was a friend. He laughed and joked:  "Well, there's a quick and easy
cure for that you know..." I got furious. I answered him that if his dog
were sick and dying and I made a joke of it, I didn't think he would be
laughing too hard. He very quickly got somber and apologized profusely.

Generally, though, I don't know that the stigma is so much more for cats
than for dogs. I think a lot of people (without companion animals) do
respond negatively when someone's dog is sick.  To them, it's only a "pet"
and easily replaced, and people without companion animals don't understand.
That could be the reason people like this don't have companion animals in
the first place.
Best regards,
---Cindy S.

I know that feeling, though I know some people who take the care of
their cats a bit too far.

My mom and I used to run a pet-sitting business and were on good terms
with a kitty named "wilbur" who we had sat for a few times. Early in
my collge years my mom called me out of the blue and told me that he
had died. I started crying just as if a family member had died and my
roommate was confused to why I was expending so much effort over a
cat.

On the other hand, however, one can get so wrapped up in a cat that
you lose sight of its better health trying to keep it alive. My
parents have a kitty who is most likely completely deaf and is going
blind and shes probably 16 years old by now. Though there isn't
anything severely wrong with her health, she spends most of the night
yowling for someone because she can't hear anything and I think that
the cat has actually gone crazy in her old age. I can't tell my
parents but they really should put the poor kitty to sleep instead of
going to the vet and dumping money on her over an over. I love the
cat, but.. enough is enough.

<unlurk>

<snip>

No, it isn't just your imagination. I have 7 cats and get it all the time. The
eldest two are 10 years old, too. My own father, who had dogs all the time he
was growing up and at 80 still talks about them, used to tell me I should take
them out and shoot them whenever I had to take one to the vet. And no, he wasn't
kidding.

I lost my littlest one Sunday evening. If he knew about it, he'd laugh. To me,
that indicates something wrong with *him*, not me. I get it from lots of people
at work, too. So, sadly, you're not alone.

<relurk>

Suddenly, without warning, David McCracken exclaimed (12/21/2007 2:16 AM):

Not just cats.  I got a lot of grief from one of my bosses because I had
to leave work to deal with a colicky horse.

Fortunately, the people I work with now are very understanding, many of
them are "furkids only" families, so they understand the importance of a
pet when there's no kids in the house.

jmc

I make a point of discussing my pets, etc. only with co-workers and friends
that I know would understand.  Two years ago, when my cat became very ill
and I had to have him put to sleep, I think there was only one person at
work that I could really confide in.  Sure, others would have been
sympathetic, but I don't think they would truly understand how painful that
time was for me.

Sue

You aren't imagining it.  It's a social stereotype.

I'm a 6 foot 1 inch 280 pound man with a Grizzly Adams beard and size 13EE
shoes who some say would look more at home on a Harley than in my poofy
little Jag.  I'm a big, hulking SOB as some have called me and damn it I am
supposed to have a big hulking dog as a pet.  Men "like us" have Bull
Mastiffs or German Shepherds or huge Labrador retrievers.  Cats are - well -
sissy.

And I have lost 2 cats in 2 months and I will be damned if I am telling
anybody but a couple of friends and my immediate family.

That is because I went though what you are going through when I had a sick
cat back in 2000.  He was dying of cancer and before that we had a crisis
with a huge tumor near his heart.  All I am going to say is that I am glad I
am a man of peace or some very obnoxious bastards would not be around now.
The comments I got ranged from rude, to cruel to knowingly abusive and
antagonizing.  My ordeal brought out a side of people that we all know is
there but are nonetheless shocked to see first hand.

To all of them I say screw 'em,  They aren't worth the dynamite it would
take to blow them to hell.

Sorry for the coarse talk, but your post hit home.  And yes, us big guys
have hearts too and just because we are not some cute little kid or a woman
or a "non threatening male" doesn't mean we don't have love and compassion
for animals and feel a huge sense of loss when they die.  I like dogs but I
love cats.  Simple as that.

The prejudices people harbor are a product of permanent adolescence.  Our
society does not require anyone to grow up anymore, preferring a state of
permanent childhood to over being an adult and along with that comes the
same crap you'd expect from an adolescent..  People react they do not think.
And they will judge you and they will ostracize you for putting your cats
needs first.  I lost a job over a sick cat once because my boss and fellow
employees were aghast that I took time off to care for my cat.  They needed
a "team player" as they said.  But I would do it again and to hell with what
people think.

Paul

You are far from alone when we had to have Fugazi put to sleep I had
to go to work the next day but my then boss, a slave himself couldn't
have been nicer- he sent me home early, covered me when I needed to go
and cry, placed the phone at my disposal should I wish to call home
and check on Dave and my other cat and repeatedly told me that if we
weren't short staffed he wouldn't have expected me to come in and he
would have told the management it was "compassionate leave"

He got a fair bit of stick when the managers found out through..One of
them said to "How old was she?" (I think he was trying to be nice) and
I said she was twelve, (as if it made a difference) his reply was "Is
that old for one of them?" As I say I guess he was trying to be nice
because he then followed it up with "I really don't know anything
about cats"

His boss was all for putting my boss and me on a disciplinary over it
since he didn't regard being upset over "a mere cat" (his words) just
cause to expect me to do less work for one day and get away with it
(as he saw it). Fortunately we were both very good at our jobs and
each made it perfectly clear we would walk out in support of the other
so he let the matter drop

the all-time winner through is my mother, when I told her Isis had
died she shrugged and said "I suppose you get fond of the things"

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs

I think this will make you feel better:

"Confessions of a Cat Guy.

Authors: Kollus, Brad

Source: Cats Magazine; Dec99, Vol. 55 Issue 12, p66, 1p, 1c

CONFESSIONS OF A CAT GUY Am I crazy?

I'm a very eligible, professional, straight male in his early 30s who loves
cats. What's wrong

with that? You'd think my caring, sensitive and nurturing nature would be an
instant chick

magnet. But no, it's not considered "manly," I'm told.

Just because I love my two kids (er, kitties), Scotty and Spanky, buy Cats
magazine and wear

a silver cat ring, I get tagged as "weird." So what if I'm constantly
tripping over catnip mice or

that I've taught my cats how to play tetherball? Who cares if my cats have
health insurance or

that I have a cat shrine (complete with cat candies) or that I carry
miniature portraits of my

kitties in my wallet? After all, the guy next to me is showing
off--woo-hoo!--yet another

drooling baby picture. I think it's a testament to my sympathetic side that
I have a cat license

plate, own the Franklin Mint's Egyptian Cat Goddess Bast Statute, brush my
cats' teeth and

have an extensive library of cat books. Does this all make me odd?

Don't answer.

If I went to golf shows, bought Golf Digest, spent every weekend golfing,
had hundreds of

dollars in golf accessories, a golf book library and a membership to a
country club, would I be

weird? I think so. But it would be socially acceptable and that's just not
right.

I've tried to meet the right woman. I placed a personal ad in the paper and
included that I like

cats. I made a date with a veterinarian who owned two cats. C'mon, this had
to work. But she'd

had four years of vet school and I had to correct her all the time. She
didn't even brush her

cats' teeth. I had no choice but to stop seeing her.

Then there was Shelter Girl. She worked at the local animal shelter, owned
nine cats, had her

own pet-sitting business and worked part-time at a pet store. Paradise, I
thought. We'd grow

old together, she and me and our cats. We'd volunteer at the shelter and
hold hands while

scooping cat litter--two cat-lovers in love. But alas, she broke it off. "I
don't have time for a

man," she said. Her cats took it all up.

On another date, I tried to impress a woman by telling her how I had taught
my cats to play

tetherball and that we were invited to appear on the Late Show with David
Letterman.

(Unfortunately, I had to turn that offer down since my cats were too
neurotic to perform in

public.) "It's so cute that you taught your cats to play baseball," she said
politely

EBSCOhost
http://web.ebscohost.com/ehost/delivery?vid=20&hid=15&sid=820cd52...

"Baseball!" I bellowed. "Cats playing baseball? That's absurd. Ever seen a
cat hold a bat? No

honey, my cats play tetherball." She never returned my calls.

Then, I met Kate. rd finally met the right woman. I spent our time together
feeling as though I

was floating on the ceiling. I perused jewelry shop windows. Then one night
after watching

Shakespeare in Love, she ripped out my still-beating heart. She just (ouch!)
wanted to be

friends.

After months of agonizing, I bumped into her. I swore nothing she could say
would shake me.

"By the way, Brad," she said, "I'm allergic to cats." I felt salt pouring
afresh into my wounds.

Sometimes I think I should give up my loves to be "normal." Then Scotty
crawls on my chest

and Spanky on my lap and I realize it's not an option. There's nothing wrong
with a guy who

loves cats. Maybe there's something wrong with a world that devalues such a
relationship. I'm

not crazy I'm not.

OK, maybe t am. But just a little.

There's nothing wrong with a guy who loves his cats.

~~~~~~~~

By Brad Kollus

Brad Kollus lives in Columbus, Ohio. Matchmakers may send letters to Brad
care of Cats magazine."

Happy Holidays,

Phil

"I have found my love of cats most helpful

            in understanding women'

                      --John Simon

Hi there,

So sorry to hear what you are going through.

I had a similar experience with friends in college after the loss of a
pet. After seeing how many people did not understand my tears that day
when I explained I lost a pet, I decided from that moment on that
anyone who didn't "get it" was then told, "I'm sorry, I lost a dear
friend today."  They understood. I never had to tell them the species
of my friend.

Perhaps you can do the same...a friend or family member is in the
hospital. Anyone who hans't loved a cat will never quite "get it." For
those of us who have, we can't see it any other way but that it is a
true friend and family member.

Hope your cat will be okay. You must be so worried.

Donna in CT

YOU are a NUT. What 'men' like you need MORE THAN ANYTHING is to be
thrust up to the front lines over in Iraq, with a gun in your hand and
a target painted on your chest. Or better yet, they should do it to
your CHILD (assuming you're not a queer, which something tells
me....)This would REALLY help put things into their proper
perspectives! All this BULLKRAP about 'staying homes with the sick
baby' bullkrap.
Bullkrap.

Your record shows NEVER

http://groups.google.com/groups/profile?enc_user=M2Ko3R4AAAAWDpBLqRntuiIpneYsgb8
0zCEIiRdHGZMCIHZ5OvvJcg

Hi David~~I know just want you are going through, but first, how is
your little one?  Any better?  Is he eating now?
I actually changed jobs at one point because the chiropractor that I
worked for told me..."from now on tell your cats to die on a
Thursday.." Thursdays are customary days for chiropractors offices to
be closed.  This family of chiropractors was in the business of
'healing' but had no compassion for anything past thier checkbooks!
I work for the school system now and fortunately have sick and
personnal days but I have always felt the stigma of being a cat owner
and still feel compelled to white lie about my time off.  Of course,
if I was at work, I could not keep my mind on my job knowing I had a
sick one at home.
Even parents of human children fell compelled to lie when it comes to
saying home with their sick kids.  Or worse, they can't stand being
home with them, so they send them to school or day care just to be rid
of them for the day, they get sicker, spread their nasty germs and
create an epidemic!  I'll take my cats, anyday!
Thanks for opening the subject line and hope all is well!
Happy New Year...Lorraine, Toms River, NJ