> Anyone fancy collaborating with me in a joint writing venture
> featuring cats performing in an experimentalist play?

> It's topical; it's today; and it's happening. I believe plays
> should reflect the nitty-gritty of modern life, and not be
> afraid of censure.

> I want to write a play based on the recent execution of American
> war-profiteer and oppressor Nick Berg.

> The 4 executioners will be played by dirty, black tomcats
> wearing ski-masks and balaclava helmets, while Nick, I believe,
> should be played by a cute little kitten (with a limp, or some
> deformity), to represent helplessness, and to elicit sympathy,
> and/or cheap laughter, from the audience.

> The 'executioners' can be made to appear to talk by operators,
> behind the stage, remotely zapping the 'actors' with powerful
> electric shocks from probes previously inserted into their
> arses. The horrific yowls should sound similar to the language
> spoken by the freedom-loving towelheads in Iraq.

> The execution scene can be undertaken in one of two ways:

> [1] Starve the 4 toms severely for a week or so prior to the
> play; tie, nail, or staple them to their 'spots' during the
> play; then remotely release them from their bonds whereupon they
> will attack, and eat, 'Nick'.

> [2] Feed the toms metered doses of LSD and angel-dust so that at
> a defined time they go berserk and do 'Nick' in, with extreme
> prejudice.

> I aim to have an explosively controversial ending to the play by
> going beyond what happened in real life by releasing a pack of
> starved, drugged dogs onto the stage who will mutilate, rape,
> kill, and eat ALL the cats on stage. Not for any artistic reason
> - just for fun.

> The grand finale will feature a lucky member of the audience (by
> ticket number) being issued with a machine gun, and he (or she)
> can strafe the stage and pick-off any survivors. I believe
> audience-participation is important.

> Interested? Please write - and let's make art!