Bit of a long post here...

First I want to thank everyone for the messages of support about the
death of my cat Nic. It really meant a lot to know that people out
there remembered him.  I'm still having trouble dealing with the loss.
There are few days where I don't fell myself starting to tear up over
it. It's even worse at work where I have to deal with putting other
pets to sleep.

Nic was my cat. But he was also Heather's cat...he was extremely
bonded to her. He groomed her everyday, smacked her when she got
rowdy, and put up with her taking out her misplaced aggression on him.
Heather clearly suffered with his death...she wouldn't groom herself,
or eat, or interact.  Nic and Heather lived in a separate part of the
house from the other cats because of Nic's health issues and Heather's
aggression issues, so she wasn't bonded to the other cats.  We decided
to try and get her a cat of her own.  We wanted someone around her own
age (4) because we didn't feel she would know how to react to a kitten
and someone who would be docile but aggressive enough to fight back if
Heather tried anything.  We decided to visit a local no kill shelter
that had really come through for us in the past when we had a hurt
foster cat.

I already knew the name for the cat we would get...I was going to call
him Owen.  He would be a four year old boy of any color expect gray
and white (because I didn't want a cat colored like Nic).  Despite the
color issue, I know realize I was in essence looking for Nic.  The
name Owen has in my mind a very definite personality that goes with
it.  A cat named Owen would be a gentleman, capable of understanding
rules without training, sweet and gentle, and would fit perfectly in
with the everyday routine of our lives.  In other words...a cat named
Owen would be a Nic clone.  Luckily, fate had other plans for us and
we didn't get to pick a cat.  A cat picked us.  We ended us with a
three-year-old brown tabby female.  I couldn't name a female cat
Owen...which at least let me realize how much I was expecting of that
mythical "Owen/Nic" cat.

So instead we have Robin.  And Robin is a very, very sweet cat.  She
picked us at the shelter by reaching out her paws, throwing herself on
her back, and crying her fool head off.  She's fitting in fairly
well...we introduced her to Heather very slowly and so far no major
disasters.  They aren't nearly to the point of grooming each other but
Heather will tolerate being in the same room with her and they've even
touched nose to nose a few times.  The problem is...I have no feelings
for Robin.  I've never felt like this toward a cat before.  She's
sweet and all...but I just feel blank about her.  For one thing she's
the most affectionate cat I've ever seen...to the point where she's
smothering.  She's constantly demanding to be petted, throwing herself
at your feet and rolling over, throwing herself across the
keyboard...you can't get away from her. I don't know.  I just can't
really seem to connect with this cat.  Heather has never slept in bed
with me but Nic always did...and Robin does now and whenever I feel
her next to me it's him I think about.  Did we get a cat too soon?  Am
I not going to be able to bond with this cat and love her as a unique
individual?  I just feel like it isn't fair to her.  I'm not sure if I
can't connect because I'm still mourning Nic or if her and I are just
incompatible.  Surely some cats and people just don't fit together,
right?  Has anyone ever had a cat they just didn't really "get"?

Sethran