PetSmart sent me an email saying that based on my PetPerks card
history, I've bought food on the recall list.

Note to PetSmart: please fix the links in your emails. The links go to
one of those link farms at
http://l.petperks-mail.com. I can leave all the other part of the url
in and swap petperks-mail.com for petsmart.com and get the correct
info. C'mon. I'm in no mood to hit a god damn link farm when you've
just informed me I've poisoned my cats. Damn you. GOD DAMN YOU
PETSMART.

The food on the list, probably some Nutro and a couple of cans of
Authority, are long gone. Is it safe to assume that since my cats are
okay that either the cans weren't poisoned or I didn't feed them
enough to hurt them? It's probably been a month ago. I don't even know
why I bought Nutro. They hate that sh.t. And I think it was two cans
of Authority fish cuts a month or so ago.

Note to neighbor cat who sometimes comes to my porch for food, and I
give him the crap mine won't eat: I'm sorry, buddy. I hope you're
okay. I know your owners are too much hillbilly to know what a vet is,
let alone read a newspaper and learn about the recall. Let's just pray
they're so cheap they buy the dry food. I hope the garbage Nutro I
gave you didn't hurt you.

Thanks, PetSmart, for the nice email. It's as nice as I imagine it
would be getting an email from an old lover saying "Hi, hope you're
well. BTW, I have AIDS. Get tested."

I hope the people at Menu Foods all get ecoli and enjoy a nice round
of bloody toilet. I've been there and it's no fun. May they all wake
up one night with the most horrible cramps and a toilet fulll of
blood.

NUTRO IS CRAP. Spread the word.