This is the hardest question that gets asked here.  This question sits in
the back of our mind in all of us.  The only thing any of us can say is you
will know when it is the right time.  I wish it could be a better answer but
you will know when it is time for your friend to cross the bridge.

Moongal,

That is so sad. I've found that when you can say you did everything that you
could, when the cat's quality of life is poor, when there's no chance of
getting better, and you can say that the cat had a good long life, or at
least a good life, then you won't feel guilty after putting your sweetheart
to sleep.

No matter what, you'll be heartbroken, but if you knew there was nothing
else you could do, (which there really isn't in the case of CRF), and your
cat had a full long life -- which he had so far-- your broken heart will be
filled with relief before long.

I think you said the key words in your post: you don't want your friend to
suffer. It doesn't sound like it's time yet for him; he's not suffering now,
but you are. Your pain will help you know when it's time for your love to go
before you and wait for you on the other side. It does get better in time.

Ned

Thank you everyone.  This just sucks.

He hasn't been deteriorating at all in the last few days, in fact he seems
to be eating more, yet I've been getting this strong feeling that it's going
to be soon.

He's a special guy.  He was a stray that picked me to live with.  One day,
years ago, he jumped into an open window, walked up to both my cats and gave
them each a smack, went to their food dish and ate and then curled up to
sleep in the cat house while I sat there with my mouth hanging open
wondering what the heck just happened.  He basically said I live here now
and I'm the boss!

I tried to find him a home because I didn't think I wanted 3 cats, but I
couldn't find anyone who would take an older cat (vet estimated he was 11 or
12).  I'm glad I couldn't.

I'm really going to miss him.

It's the quality of life for the cat that ultimately makes the decision
for me. When they stop enjoying things and treatment makes no
difference, it's time.

You guys are awesome.  Just hearing from people who have gone through this
before helps so much.

It's weird.  You know how I said he doesn't knead anymore?  Well last night
he jumped in my lap and kneaded me for a really long time, then he slept a
little, then sat up and kneaded some more.  It was really sweet of him.  He
hasn't done that for a couple of months.

I've read all these posts with interest.  You see, I'm facing this same
decision with my Grady.  He's continuously losing weight, no real
diagnosis, all tests have come out "inconclusive", but yet I watch him
deteriorate on a daily basis.  Grady is 16 and I know his life cycle is
nearing its end.  It's breaking my heart, but I know I have to do what is
best for him.  

I know that all of us who have very loved pets have to face this at some
point.  My heart goes out to Moongal and everyone who has lost a very dear
companion.