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Cat Forum / Health and Behavior / November 2006Very Very Hard Question--Owner's Quality of Life
I'm posting with a problem that's caused so much pain for me I don't know how I've managed these past few years. I have a 14+ year old former feral I inherited when she was already older than 10 and whom I tried to domesticate. I succeeded partly, but only partly. My little angel never got over a need to be outside. She won't let me or anyone hold her. At the vet's, she acts like a perfect old lady. Everyone says how docile and sweet she is. And she IS. But ever since the day I started taking care of her I have denied the continence (urinary) issues that have basically prevented me from holding down a full-time job. I'm also a caretaker of an elderly family member, so not going out to work was something I told myself was something I didn't have to worry about. (Yeah, that's how wild I am about my best friend. I don't need to hear it's crazy; I know it is.) Sadly, my caretaking days may be over soon for the family member. I won't only have to relocate but find work; and the hours upon hours of hauling carpets out to wash with the (free) water from a private well, hauling upholstered furniture out to wash, too, in the summer, caulking rooms like Fort Knox so carpet won't be "really necessary" in my northern US location (like heck it isn't really necessary)... Vacuuming and vacuuming and mopping and mopping... I know I'm crazy. I am a crazy person posting here, so consider this a crazy person alert. I have been told by more than one veterinarian that urinary incontinence is absolutely a legitimate reason to put down a pet, but I can't do it. I don't even know why I'm posting here, except to ask (or beg, really) for responses from any poor soul who has ever found him/herself in this "I know my quality of life is shot to hell, but I can't give up my cat" nightmare. For the record-- I donate to No-Kill shelters. I donate to any shelter. I subscribe to the belief that it's wrong to get rid of a pet because he/she's an inconvenience. I just don't know what to do. Thank you for listening. Have you ruled out a urinary tract infection? There is no medical [curable] condition causing this? Perhaps a second opinion from another vet? > I'm posting with a problem that's caused so much pain for me I don't > know how I've managed these past few years. I have a 14+ year old [quoted text clipped - 33 lines] > > Thank you for listening. > I'm posting with a problem that's caused so much pain for me I don't know > how I've managed these past few years. I have a 14+ year old former [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > because he/she's an inconvenience. I just don't know what to do. > Thank you for listening. Hello, I don't think you are crazy at all. I hope you will find the guidance you need to find a solution for the problem with your cat and that your pending lifestyle change and move will go as smoothly as possible. Be aware that you will not receive a medical diagnosis over the Internet, but you can get a lot of useful information here. Piece it together, and you'll probably get some idea on a direction to take. It would be helpful if you would please provide some more information about your cat. First, what have you already done to find the cause of the problem? You say that several vets have advised you that "urinary incontinence is absolutely a legitimate reason to put down a pet." To your credit, you say that you can't do that. The question is, what did those vets say about the cause of your cat's incontinence? If they said it was medical, how did they treat it? How long ago was this? The bottom line here is that you really need a current senior medical checkup of your cat. The vet may find a treatable medical condition. Be sure to get a copy of the test results. Ask the vet for an explanation of what the numbers mean. Be prepared to take notes to help you remember. You might also try posting the test results on this newsgroup. Has the cat been spayed? It is rare, but some female cats will spray. In addition to finding out the cat's medical condition, you need to look at the current environment and the cat's past urinary behavior. Did the cat come to you with this problem? Has she ever used a litter box, either before or after you got her? Does she have any physical conditions that might make it difficult for her to get into the box? What kind of box do you have for her? Is it covered or open? Where is it located? Is it easily accessible? What kinds of activities go on in the area? What kind of litter are you using? If she uses the box at all, how often is in cleaned? Do you have other pets that might interrupt her? Does she have more than one box? The situation you describe is complicated, but don't give up hope. Annie Annie, thanks so much for taking the time to reply. "Lord Jub Jub" (my old lady's pseudonym!) has been to two very different kinds of vets in her life. She was spayed in 1994 by a very "activist"-style barn vet, who for example doesn't believe in ever tranquilizing animals. (Jub Jub will not let me or anyone ever get closer to her than petting, so pilling her is out of the question, which is why for a while I considered liquid tranquilizers in order to solve, say, constipation problems.) This vet says "She's old. She has kidney problems. Old cats have kidney problems just like old people. Live with it." The other, younger, female vet has suggested situational changes, i.e., not setting out quite as many water bowls as I do, and restricting Old Mother Jubs to parts of the house where carpeting isn't an issue. (I constructed not one but two heated cat houses over the years, because in earlier days, Jub lived in the cellar of the home--which is exactly where I don't want to restrict her now that she's old.) Because of the pilling issue, I only opt for yearly shots and physical exams, because I couldn't stand the pain of being told she has, say, thyroid disease, and then knowing I couldn't give her the medication she needs. I've tried to learn the "grab technique" that makes her so docile at the vet's, but for some reason, it doesn't work. (And in any event, she'd still bite me if I tried to open her mouth.) This second, young vet is much more open to the idea that owners are animals too and believes incontinence issues are the most painful any pet owner has to face, because they're subjective. Actually, yesterday evening, someone suggested seeing about renting or buying an old, cheap house, uncarpeted, for *myself,* where concerns about future owners and/or carpet is not an issue. This is extreme, I realize, but if I have a run-down old home whose future is not a concern for me, I will be able to give exercise room, freedom, and hopefully at least a couple more years to the creature who has been my closest, most cherished friend. In other words, if you can't bring beat 'em, join 'em, and turn your whole house into an INTENTIONAL "cat-house." (I don't mean a neglected home, of course. I happen to be an obsessive-compulsive cleaner.) Anyway, Annie, thanks very much. I'll keep the group updated. > Annie, thanks so much for taking the time to reply. Ok, more questions: is the cat indescriminantly peeing everyhwere or leaking? -L. > Ok, more questions: is the cat indescriminantly peeing everyhwere or > leaking? Excellent question. After a very dominant and aggressive male feral began wandering the 'hood last spring (we live in the forest!), "Maw" began spraying. By the early summer, when the male was joined by another, pregnant, feral female (since gone), Maw was peeing...defensively (?) in the cellar and elsewhere. She has always leaked, but this past year it seems unquestionable that what may begin as a defensive spray turns into a pee. Thanks for asking! > > Ok, more questions: is the cat indescriminantly peeing everyhwere or > > leaking? [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > > Thanks for asking! Assuming there are no physical reasons for her problems, and that it is behavioral, I would be very tempted to make her a home in a garage or shed where she has access to the outdoors, and lock her in at night. She is obviously unhappy about something if she is continually peeing everywhere. If she's previously been an indoor/outdoor cat she's probably unhappy about being indoors all the time. At some point, you have to say enough is enough. -L. ...> Because of the pilling issue, I only opt for yearly shots and physical > exams, because I couldn't stand the pain of being told she has, say, > thyroid disease, and then knowing I couldn't give her the medication [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] > "cat-house." (I don't mean a neglected home, of course. I happen to > be an obsessive-compulsive cleaner.) ...> Hi, By the way, do you have a name? I hope you will stay as far away as possible from the first vet, who diagnosed kidney disease and refused to treat it. Did he just pull that diagnosis out of the air, or did he actually base it on some kind of tests? The second vet has a better attitude, but I don't think restricting the cat's access to water is a good idea. It could actually be harmful if there is an underlying medical condition. Did she do any tests to try to determine if there is a medical condition? It is absolutely crucial that the cat gets a complete physical, including blood and urine evaluation. You need a vet who will look for and discover or rule out an underlying medical cause of the urinary incontinence. Maybe all she needs is a change of diet. But, you won't know until you get the tests results. As for handling the cat for pilling, I understand your problem. Our cat, Cinder, grows long claws (sort of like fishhooks). She will absolutely not tolerate having us trim them. However, she is fine when we take her in every few months to the vet. (Thank goodness.) I haven't had to pill Rosie, our former feral, yet. When we trapped her, she had a tapeworm. I was so grateful that she ate the pill with her food, because I couldn't touch her at all. Now, years later, she got an abscess on her chin. The medicine comes in either pill or liquid form. We got the liquid. Rosie absolutely would not let me put the dropper in her mouth, but she will lap up the medicine when I mix it with some food. Another bullet dodged. But, if I thought she had a medical problem, I wouldn't put off taking her to the vet on the chance that I might have to pill her. Maybe the problem is as simple as the location of the litter box, or you need to add a litter box, or change the litter. Maybe it is a combination of issues. But, you won't know without the help of a vet who will base the diagnosis and treatment, if necessary, on the results of medical tests. Wouldn't it be better to find out there is a treatable condition while it still is treatable? What if you put off the tests and your cat has a problem that is treatable without pills? Would you rather let this cat and yourself have a chance to live the rest of her life without suffering with something that you might be able to treat and solve the problem? Anyway, if your cat needs medication, it might be available in a liquid form. A compounding pharmacy could even make it taste like tuna fish! If you go for the old, cheap house, be sure to check out the neighborhood. You will want it to be safe. I think that your "cat-house" concept is great, even if your cat did not have the incontinence problem. Maybe, with some detective work, you'll find the cause and solution of the problem and you'll both be happy. And, you'll get a better return on your investment when you sell the place. Annie > It is absolutely crucial that the cat gets a complete physical, including > blood and urine evaluation. You need a vet who will look for and discover > or rule out an underlying medical cause of the urinary incontinence. Maybe > all she needs is a change of diet. But, you won't know until you get the > tests results. [snip] > Wouldn't it be better to find out there is a treatable condition while it > still is treatable? What if you put off the tests and your cat has a [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > Anyway, if your cat needs medication, it might be available in a liquid > form. A compounding pharmacy could even make it taste like tuna fish! I agree with what Annie is saying. At your cat's age, a complete physical is a good idea. She could have something that is easy to treat, but you won't know until she is evaluated. As for any medication, in addition to adding flavors, some medications (like those for hyperthryoidism) can be made into a cream that's applied to the inside of the ear. There is also something called Pill Pockets, where you place the pill inside a "treat" and feed. They have been a life saver for me. see: www.pillpockets.com Rene > I'm posting with a problem that's caused so much pain for me I don't > know how I've managed these past few years. I have a 14+ year old [quoted text clipped - 33 lines] > > Thank you for listening. I think it's important for you to get a good evaluation for your cat and proceed from there. At 14, your cat could still have a number of good years left (my first cat, a former feral, lived to be almost 20). Dump the first vet - with an attitude like that, your cat would have little chance of survival. That's the same attitude that has caused many elderly *people* to suffer needlessly when medical intervention could have greatly increased the quality of their lives. My sister's cat is her beloved pet, but life in her home was becoming almost unbearable because he constantly peed and sprayed outside the litter box. This went on for a period of more than 3 years. The entire house reeked, and she finally locked him in a basement room during the daytime while she was at work. That was much better than it sounds because it was a room with paneled walls, TV, a sofa, cat toys, and exercise equipment. She would bring him upstairs in the evening but had to watch him constantly. This simply was not a good situation either for her or for her cat (who was then deprived of the companionship of her other cats for most of the day), and she was desperate. She took him to several vets, including a holistic vet, and nothing seemed to be working. Finally, she contacted the Tufts University Petfax program. Remarkably, a problem of several years' standing was then solved within a very short period of time. They recommended Prozac (which she gets by prescription from her vet). This was a "last resort" rather than the first thing she tried, and it sounds like you are in a similar situation. Please ask your vet about trying a similar regimen for your cat. It is important to keep her indoors where she will be safe, and it is also important for you to have a comfortable living situation. My sister's cat has had *no* ill effects after several years on Prozac, and he is now a happy cat enjoying the full use of her home. I realize from one of your messages that it would be difficult for you to pill your cat. Many people have been able to use a pill popper on otherwise-impossible cats because it literally takes only a second to use. You do not have to pry the cat's mouth open - it is quickly inserted into the back "corner" of the mouth. You could also try pill pockets - insert the Prozac in the pill pocket and then hide the pill in your cat's food. I believe Prozac is also available by prescription as a cream that can be gently rubbed on the inside of your cat's ear. Please talk to your vet about trying a similar treatment plan. Thank you for caring enough to seek advice, and please keep us updated. Photos of Duffy and Holly: >'o'< Duffy: http://tinyurl.com/cslwf Holly: http://tinyurl.com/9t68o Duffy and Holly together: http://tinyurl.com/8b47e I agree with MaryL. I had a cat that sprayed and peed on things in my house. It was definitely a behavioral problem. He did it for 8 years before I finally found Dr. Dodman and PETFAX. Dr. Dodman and his staff recommended my cat take prozac which helped curb his spraying and overall territorial nature. While I am not advocating medication, sometimes it is the only solution. Good luck to you. Sue >> I'm posting with a problem that's caused so much pain for me I don't >> know how I've managed these past few years. I have a 14+ year old [quoted text clipped - 80 lines] > Holly: http://tinyurl.com/9t68o > Duffy and Holly together: http://tinyurl.com/8b47e I once had a diabetic cat who was urinating outside the box. We finally decided we had to restrict him to one or two rooms. We also placed his litter box inside of an enormous Rubbermaid box - no way could he pee outside that contraption. Can you put down some cheap rugs meanwhile to protect your good carpet? I wouldn't make too many radical changes tho - after all, she is not that young any more. Good luck - I know the agony of putting down a pet and never feeling right about it afterwards. . On Nov 3, 11:07 am, gwehr...@bellsouth.net wrote: > I once had a diabetic cat who was urinating outside the box. We > finally decided we had to restrict him to one or two rooms. We also > placed his litter box inside of an enormous Rubbermaid box - no way > could he pee outside that contraption. This is what I did starting two days ago... Restricting the litter box to an area off the kitchen. (God love her, my sweetie is on a schedule where she makes, let's say, extremely aromatic bowel movements at 2 or 3AM. When a litter box was right next to my bedroom, this necessited nightly wakenings to be her very own pooper-scooper.) > Can you put down some cheap rugs meanwhile to protect your good carpet? > [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > Good luck - I know the agony of putting down a pet and never feeling > right about it afterwards. Thanks to you and *EVERYBODY* here. I haven't made radical changes and won't--and the reason I haven't responded to every thoughtful post made here is because the family member in failing health had a mini-stroke yesterday. Extremely upsetting time--even for my "little old feline lady." Today when I came home, her very healthy poop was a little diarrhetic (sp). (When the ambulance personnel arrived, I think she knew something was wrong.) God Bless. I will be investigating and attempting every suggestion here, particularly the "ear med" route, ASAP. (Please send up some prayers for at least my old girl; although her owner could use some too.) This is a great newsgroup. >.... (Please send up some > prayers for at least my old girl; although her owner could use some > too.) I will keep you and your cat and your ailing family member in my thoughts and prayers. Annie
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