RECIPE FOR TOMMY GATO SOUP:

Gently drop cat into pot of boiling beer.  Clay or cast iron pot
recommended for maximum flavor extraction.  Cover immediately as the
aromatic warmth might revive the previously choked-to-unconsciousness
cat.  Best to hogtie the cat with 30-lb. test fishing line for neatness.
 Check eight times to ensure cat is indeed dead.  Let simmer on medium
low until fur starts sloughing off the carcass.  Skim fur from beer
broth and set aside.  Check for the ninth and last time for any signs of
life.  If still alive, turn up the heat for 20 minutes.  If not,
continue to simmer on low.

Drain and drop into the mixture a can of new potatoes, a can of pearl
onions, a can of cut carrots, and a half-pound package of Chinese straw
mushrooms (that one with the penis head).  Add contents of one can of
asparagus tips.  Continue to simmer on low until skin, flesh and
internal organs slough off the skull and bones.  Stir vigorously to
assist in the disintegration.  Take skull and bones out of beer broth.
Pick remaining flesh and organs and throw back into the mix.  Set aside.

After simmering for a total of eight hours and no more, your Cat Soup is
ready!  Salt and pepper to taste, spike with vodka if desired.  Enjoy
with warm marzipans shaped like cute little kittens.  For maximum visual
appeal, decorate each soup bowl with cat hair and boiled bones.

Light diet beer may be substituted for Bud Full Blast, gin for vodka.  A
Manx may be substituted for Tommy as a last but preferred resort.

One serving supplies most of the daily recommended allowances for all
nutritional elements except calcium (0.1%).  Zero percent trans fat and
only six calories per bowl.  Bon appetit, and remember, NO SPINACH!!!

RENOVVL MASAMA

Charlie,

Sometimes you crack me up.

Rhonda