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Cat Forum / Health and Behavior / March 2006Question for the group
If you lost your cat, would you want to know if it died or believe it was probably adopted and living in a good home? One of our colleagues asked me this question because he's torn about what to do about a dead cat. A month or so ago, a little old lady was driving around looking for her cat. She asked our friend if she had seen it and described it. She also said it needed medication. He hadn't seen it, but took her number and said he'd call if he did. A week later, be found a dead cat on his property that matched the desciption of the missing cat. He had lost the phone number, and so buried it. A couple of days ago, he saw the lady again looking for the cat and he was torn as to whether to tell her he found a cat, or let her think it was taken in someplace. He opted for the latter. He asked if she was still looking and she said yes, but he's probably dead by now. He said that it could just as easily be living the life with someone else. She seemed happy with that. He also has somee kittens and offered her one of them and she's going to think about it. Should he have said, "I found a dead cat and buried it," or is keeping an old lady's hopes up that the cat is well and happy the right thing to do? Discuss.  SignatureMargarita Salt "...practically no one in the world is entirely bad or entirely good... motives are often more important than actions." -- Eleanore Roosevelt > If you lost your cat, would you want to know if it died or believe it > was probably adopted and living in a good home? I think I would want to know. I wouldn't be okay just thinking that maybe the cat was taken in. I'd worry non-stop. When my cat Tiger was still a working cat, she managed to slip out late one night when my boss was getting ready to go home. I got in the next morning and Tiger was not inside the door to greet me. People in the neighborhood would sometimes claim they saw her by the river (this was the Tribeca area of NYC, one block from the Hudson River and a very busy street) or around the corner. For 3 weeks I was sick every day. 3 weeks to the day that she disappeared, we heard a meowing noise coming from the airshaft between our building and the one next door. Going up to the roof and looking down, we saw a cat. It was Tiger. My boss climbed down a very unstable, rusted firescape with missing steps to get her. If she *had* been hit by a car and someone saw it, I would have preferred that they told me. Knowing what happened wouldn't be easy, but it would be better than not knowing. Those were three of the most miserable weeks of my life. I think that the old lady should have been told about her cat. She probably would have been very sad but relieved at the same time, and would have appreciated that her cat was given a burial instead of getting tossed out in the trash. -- Liz >If you lost your cat, would you want to know if it died or believe it >was probably adopted and living in a good home? <snip> The one time I had to deal with this, I called the people. I had found the cat, dead, and had disposed of the poor thing. Then I heard a missing cat report on the radio, which had a lost/found pets feature at the time. Since it gave a phone number, I called them. They were sad, but thanked me for letting them know what had happened. So I think it's best to tell the truth, and I certainly would rather know. Ginger-lyn just my $1.02 worth Home Pages: http://www.moonsummer.com http://www.angelfire.com/folk/glsummer (homepage & cats) http://freepages.genealogy.rootsweb.com/~summer/index.htm (genealogy) http://www.movieanimals.bravehost.com/ (The Violence Against Animals in Movies Website) > If you lost your cat, would you want to know if it died or believe it > was probably adopted and living in a good home? I would definitely want to know. Someone kidnapped my cat when I was 15 or so. I found him 8 or 9 years later. His disappearance always haunted me. -L. I agree with the other posters. I would tell her. She will be "looking" for her kitty for the rest of her life. She needs to know what happened so she can move on - and possibly find another one to love. Buddy <armshome@aol.com> wrote in rec.pets.cats.health+behav: > I agree with the other posters. I would tell her. She will be > "looking" for her kitty for the rest of her life. She needs to know > what happened so she can move on - and possibly find another one to > love. The thing is, he's not 100% sure it was her cat. It was apparently in bad shape, but he's "pretty sure" it was the cat. SignatureMargarita Salt "...practically no one in the world is entirely bad or entirely good... motives are often more important than actions." -- Eleanore Roosevelt > If you lost your cat, would you want to know if it died or believe it > was probably adopted and living in a good home? [quoted text clipped - 22 lines] > > Discuss. IMHO You should have been truthful. Living with "hope" can also be hard to handle. MLB > If you lost your cat, would you want to know if it died or believe it > was probably adopted and living in a good home? [quoted text clipped - 22 lines] > > Discuss. I would rather know. Not to know and always wonder what happened..... Alison > If you lost your cat, would you want to know if it died or believe it > was probably adopted and living in a good home? > > One of our colleagues asked me this question because he's torn about > what to do about a dead cat. <snip> I would want to know. Otherwise, I would spend much of my free time wandering all over the area trying to find my cat. Even if I had given up, I would always worry about what might have happened and would probably imagine the worst. So, as for me, I would want to know. MaryL Ike disappeared about six years ago. I let him out one morning and I never saw him again. The area around my house is dense woods so there was no way I could look for him. Because of known predators in the area, I had to assume he fell victim to one of them. I will never know. ---MIKE--- >>In the White Mountains of New Hampshire >> (44° 15' N - Elevation 1580') MaryL <stancole1@yahoo.comTAKE-OUT-THE-LITTER> wrote in rec.pets.cats.health+behav: >> If you lost your cat, would you want to know if it died or >> believe it was probably adopted and living in a good home? [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > > MaryL Well, I will pass along everyone's opinion. I think his heart was in the right place, but it's hard to say. Having had the cat I grew up with wander away from my parents' house when he was 17, I'm still angry that they started putting him outside at all and after all that time probably died scared and lonely. On the other hand, when I was returning a cat to my ex-boyfriend who was using it to win me back, it got out of the car and ran off. I like to think it was found and given a good home. SignatureMargarita Salt "...practically no one in the world is entirely bad or entirely good... motives are often more important than actions." -- Eleanore Roosevelt > If you lost your cat, would you want to know if it died or believe it > was probably adopted and living in a good home? i would have told her the cat found a home with a mother and two children... i would tell her how the children had prayed and asked God for a cat..and her it come. I would tell her...they are too poor to buy medicine, but I could take the money to them for her. then i'd go buy 2 beers and cry 2 tears in a bucket. > Should he have said, "I found a dead cat and buried it," or is keeping > an old lady's hopes up that the cat is well and happy the right thing > to do? He should have been honest. Death is a part of life, and it is silly for us to try to avoid it by using euphemisms such as "pts," "passed away," "passed on," "crossed the Rainbow Bridge," etc. In the last couple of years, I have encountered the corpse of a cat in the road, which I moved off the pavement, and I have taken an unknown cat to the hospital after it was hit by a car. The cat had to be euthanized. In both cases, I sought the owner. To be anything less than honest to that woman in your case is unethical. |
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