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Cat Forum / Health and Behavior / March 2006Feeling Guilty About Having To Give my Cat Away
I have a six year old female cat, she has always just been by herself with no other pets. She's very loving. Two years ago we decided to expand and get a puppy. Well the cat was not happy with this. I thought that it would just take some time for them to get used to each other but it has not happened. The cat has become very stressed and has started pulling out her own hair, plus she's afraid to even come down off a high area because of the dog. The dog is not a relaxed dog at all by the way, he's big and strong and very very active. So after much consideration, my cousin agreed to take her in. My cousin is very much a cat person, and I know she will be loved and taken care of at her new home. My concern is I feel guilty. I know it's probably for the best for her, but she has never been away from me before and I'm afraid to add any more stress to her already stressful life. Any thoughts? You should feel guilty! She was there before the dog and your selfish indulance in wanting a puppy has cost her the home she was obviously very happy in. Why not get rid of the dog? chas Well, to be honest a dog is something that I always knew would be part of my life, I just had to wait until I had a house that was big enough. That cat, even though I grew to love her was a gift, that I didn't ask for. I took the best care of her and hoped that she would grow to love the dog. But unfortunatly the dog is not something I am willing to compromise on, I can not see my life without dog(s). Janine114@hotmail.com <Janine114@hotmail.com> wrote in rec.pets.cats.health+behav: > Well, to be honest a dog is something that I always knew would be > part of my life, I just had to wait until I had a house that was [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > love the dog. But unfortunatly the dog is not something I am > willing to compromise on, I can not see my life without dog(s). With that explanation, I would say you did the right thing giving her up. No one should give a pet as a gift unless they are absolutely certain the pet is wanted. Even then, people should be allowed to pick out their own pets. There's a conenction when you choose one rather than have one given to you. That said, if you're worried about a stressed out kitty, go visit her a few times to make sure she settles. Granted, it's stressful to be rehomed, but it's a different kind. She could be breathing a sigh of relief! A friend of mine has a cat and he got a great dane puppy! Luckily, "Kitty" put her paw down first as who was head of the house. "Ranger" had no idea he could squash Kitty like a bug and immediately gave in to his Beta status. It can be done. It just didn't work in your case.  SignatureMargarita Salt "...practically no one in the world is entirely bad or entirely good... motives are often more important than actions." -- Eleanore Roosevelt >Well, to be honest a dog is something that I always knew would be part >of my life, I just had to wait until I had a house that was big enough. > That cat, even though I grew to love her was a gift, that I didn't ask >for. I took the best care of her and hoped that she would grow to love >the dog. But unfortunatly the dog is not something I am willing to >compromise on, I can not see my life without dog(s). This just proves the point that people should not give pets to people as gifts unless they are positive the person really wants it. At least you are trying to find her a good home which she deserves. Just wondering, if your cousin is a cat person does she have other cats? NanCe She has had other cats in the past, who have since past away, so she is really looking forward to having another cat in the house. I agree that people should not give animals as gifts. But if I didn't know the person and home she was going to, I would have found another way around it, the word "shelter" never has crossed my mind. Thanks! >She has had other cats in the past, who have since past away, so she is >really looking forward to having another cat in the house. I agree [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > >Thanks! You could euthenize the cat just to annoy people in this group. Take before and after pix and post them on a web site, and link it here. Then join a witness protection program. Seriously, I think you're making sensible decisions. You didn't know how the cat would handle the dog, and if it can't adjust, it should be in a caring home without dogs. Charlie >She has had other cats in the past, who have since past away, so she is >really looking forward to having another cat in the house. I agree >that people should not give animals as gifts. But if I didn't know the >person and home she was going to, I would have found another way around >it, the word "shelter" never has crossed my mind. Oh okay, I was just wondering if she had other cats as your cat isn't used to them and I was going to suggest ways to introduce them. But it's good to hear your cousin doesn't have any there at the present time; will be easier on the kitty. Once you go to her house and visit a few times and see that she is happy and calm there, your guilt will start to subside. I must commend you for finding her a home instead of bringing her to a shelter, not everyone goes to the trouble of doing this. Sounds like she is going to have a wonderful home. NanCe If you choose to keep the dog and not the cat, making sure she has a good home is the best thing you can do for her. Gail >I have a six year old female cat, she has always just been by herself > with no other pets. She's very loving. Two years ago we decided to [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > > Any thoughts? >I have a six year old female cat, she has always just been by herself >with no other pets. She's very loving. Two years ago we decided to [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > >Any thoughts? This reminds me of story of when I worked in a shelter. A man moved in with a woman and he brought his dogs with him. Her cats hated the dogs and were very stressed out. Guess which ones ended up being brought to the shelter? The cats of course! I couldn't understand how she could do that. If I were in your position, never in a million years would I give her up for a newer pet. The cat was there first. NanCe You've decided to give away the cat versus the dog - though I may have opted to keep the cat myself and find a home for the younger dog, the decision has been made. It sounds like you did what you could to find her a good home. So while she may be more stressed at first, in the long run (which most likely is another 10 years or so), she will be much happier with your cousin in a home without a dog. Visit her and see for yourself how she does after a while. Thank you, most of you helped me in knowing that I'm making the best decision that I can. Thanks. > Thank you, most of you helped me in knowing that I'm making the best > decision that I can. > > Thanks. In this case the best decision for the cat initially was to not get the dog. But since you are hard pressed to keep the dog, and admit never really wanting the cat, I think you've definitely made the right decision in giving her to someone who sounds like they will give her a great home, and most important, she will be wanted. |
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