I awoke this morning to the smell of cat sh.t.  It wasn't from the
litter box in the bathroom, either, but from the cat who'd just joined
me in bed with a turd woven into his butt hair.  As disgusting as that
was, it was even more disgusting to realize that in a few hours, that
turd would be gone and his butt hair immaculately clean.

This afternoon, while he was still in a stupor from his afternoon nap, I
waylaid him with a pair of scissors, and as he purred and stretched, I
trimmed that (now immaculate) butt hair quite short.  I didn't have to
restrain him at all, I just distracted him by petting him while I moved
his tail aside and started cutting.

Now he sports what I call a "reverse mullet".