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Cat Forum / Health and Behavior / December 2005Saying goodbye to my heart
Hello all, you’ll have to forgive me, I have done nothing cry, and try no not cry for the past three days. My baby, my heart and life time friend is dieing. Muffy, that is my beautiful girls name; I have had her for 18 years, since I was five. Because like most I don't remember much before the age of five, she has been with me my "whole life" She sleeps by my side every night, licked my hands and face everyday. I have loved her more then I have ever loved a person, think what you will of me for saying that, I don't care. I saw a few days ago that she has stopped eating; I can get to eat some caned food. She is still drinking. She is having more of a hard time getting around then before, every time she jumps off the bed she falls, and is just brakes my heart. Muffy is a long haired Persian so I’m afraid I didn’t see how thin she was getting; now I can feel all her little bones. I have not taken her to the vet yet because I know she is just so old they will just want to put her down, and before you all start yelling at me I'm not being selfish. As soon as I see she is suffering, or in any pain, I will take her, and say goodbye to my heart. Please do not take anything I have said the wrong way, I just want some people to talk to how understand. > Please do not take anything I have said the wrong way, I just want some > people to talk to how understand. Hi hopefully no one will be insensitive to you poor thing! can you make her a ramp off and on the bed? Thank you for your kind words. I did make her stairs, and she uses them to come up, but she still wants to jump down. > Hello all, you'll have to forgive me, I have done nothing cry, and try no > not [quoted text clipped - 27 lines] > Please do not take anything I have said the wrong way, I just want some > people to talk to how understand. Believe me, I do understand the pain you are describing. I lost my first cat just before he would have been 20 years old. At the same time, I would strongly encourage you to take Muffy to a vet. I made many tearful trips to the vet thinking it would be "the last time," only to be sent home with more medication or information. In my case, fluids (Ringer's lactate) saved the day -- and stimulated my cat's appetite. He first showed real signs of illness at the age of 18-1/2, so he lived for another year-and-a-half after that. If you do receive worse news than I did, then it is still important for you to see a vet because cats are well-known to hide pain, and it is important for you to get an evaluation. If possible, ask around and find a vet known to specialize in (or at least be "good" with) geriatic cats. MaryL Well you changed my mind, I don't have much money but I'll cash some bonds if I must. Even if I do get bad news I don't think I can take this for much longer. It's killing me to see her like this. First off, I think we can all relate to how you feel. Cats just become part of us - like you said your Muffy is your heart- and there isn't much we can do to prevent the little fur balls from getting in there. It must be hell for you to see her like this with not eating, the difficulty getting around etc as it is for her. Take your time to say good bye - I am sure she knows how you feel and her little kitty heart is full of love for you too but she does deserve to be helped in any way she can be. You will never forget her - she will always be your heart but maybe in time you can let another furry faced one in. Until then, know that good thoughts are going your and Muffy's way.  Signature.oO rach Oo. > Hello all, you’ll have to forgive me, I have done nothing cry, and try no > not [quoted text clipped - 27 lines] > Please do not take anything I have said the wrong way, I just want some > people to talk to how understand. > Hello all, you’ll have to forgive me, I have done nothing cry, and try > no not cry for the past three days. My baby, my heart and life time [quoted text clipped - 20 lines] > Please do not take anything I have said the wrong way, I just want > some people to talk to how understand. Please take her to the vet in case there is something wrong that is fixable. You may be able to save her. Don't let her just die like this. Blu I know how you feel we just lost our 19.5 year old precious. Take your time saying good bye but take her to the vet to make sure there is nothing that you can do to fix the current problem. After that you will know when it is time to say goodbye. It is hard to let go of someone you love with all your heart and any one that does not agree that our four legged friends are our children, best friends, loves of our life and yes even soulmates I pity them for their loss. I am proud to be owned by a cat (s) Hugs and Purrs for both of you. I will keep you both in our prayers >> Hello all, you'll have to forgive me, I have done nothing cry, and try >> no not cry for the past three days. My baby, my heart and life time [quoted text clipped - 23 lines] > Please take her to the vet in case there is something wrong that is > fixable. You may be able to save her. Don't let her just die like this. Thank you all so much, I can't tell you how much you all have already helped me in only a few hours. And yes I am going to take her to the vet. today at 3: 30, I love my vet, they have been taking care of our dogs for six or seven years now, and they worked really hard to work me into day. The more I thought about it, if she did die this way I would hate myself for not even seeing if I could do anything. But I am prepared for the worst, well ok I'm not, I'll cry my heart out. We never are... not really.. Keep us posted !! SignatureWill~ "... so that's how liberty ends, in a round of applause." Queen Amidala, The revenge of the Syth. > Thank you all so much, I can't tell you how much you all have already helped > me in only a few hours. And yes I am going to take her to the vet. today at 3: [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > seeing if I could do anything. But I am prepared for the worst, well ok I'm > not, I'll cry my heart out. Please let us know what the vet says. Best case scenario- a pill a day could bring her back to health. -- Barb Of course I don't look busy, I did it right the first time. Alright, I'm back and it went about as well as I thought. They said she was dehydrated, and because of her age, she could have diabetes, kidney frailer, cancer, FIV. And I could do tests to find out what and go from there, they would also give her some fluids to make her feel better now. Well after all that it was going to be about 200 just for the test. Then even after I found out what it was and spent hundreds on her she could die the next day form something else because of her age. He said she is already 4 years older then she should be. And believe me I wish I could spend all the money I had on her just to keep her breathing for one more minute, but I know I can't. So I had them give her the fluids, and I can already tell she is feeling better, but he said this will only last a few days. So as you can tell I think I know what I’m going to do, I hate it, god I hate it so damn bad. *hugs n stuff* SignatureWill~ "... so that's how liberty ends, in a round of applause." Queen Amidala, The revenge of the Syth. > Alright, I'm back and it went about as well as I thought. They said she was > dehydrated, and because of her age, she could have diabetes, kidney frailer, [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > he said this will only last a few days. > So as you can tell I think I know what I'm going to do, I hate it, god I hate > it so damn bad. > Alright, I'm back and it went about as well as I thought. They said she > was [quoted text clipped - 18 lines] > hate > it so damn bad. Yes, it's possible that the time has come (terrible as that decision is). However, I do have a couple of negative thoughts based on your conversation with your vet, so it might be worth getting a second opinion. First, it is foolish for your vet to say that your cat is "already 4 years older than she should be." That is antiquated thinking! *Many* cats live much longer than that. I had a cat that lived to be almost 20 (and that was years ago), a cat that died at age 16 but lived to that age despite CRF, and my sister's cat is now 17. Second, fluids really can help a great deal, and you could be taught (in just a matter of minutes) to administer fluids yourself at home. If none of this is possible, you have my heartfelt condolences. I know how much we grow to love our furbabies. They are indeed family, and the pain we face with their loss is indescribable. MaryL I really don't know, he said the fluids would only last a few days and it not just that she was dehydrated but she has some other illness. I can tell she feels better, but she still seems so tired. Also I think her back legs are really hurting her, Muffy has also peed on the floor and she has never done that before. But I well think about what you said. I feel terrible saying this but I can't put lots of money on her, I'm putting myself though college. As I have said I wish to god I could give her my last penny. And I feel so bad about it, like I'm killing her myself. She is in my lap right now and I just feel my heart been ripped out, I want to just keep her there forever. Oh God, I don't know if I'll ever be ok again. On another note I plan to have her cremated I have for years, I just can put her in the dirt, I need to have her with me. I would like to know if a one has had this done and how it went. >> Alright, I'm back and it went about as well as I thought. They said she >> was [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > >MaryL >I really don't know, he said the fluids would only last a few days and it >not > just that she was dehydrated but she has some other illness. I can tell > she > feels better, but she still seems so tired. Yes, that's why I mentioned the possibility of giving her fluids at home. I eventually needed to give daily injections to my cat. The technique is easily learned, and it's not expensive when you do it yourself. Much depends on Muffy's condition other than dehydration, of course. Also I think her back legs are > really hurting her, Muffy has also peed on the floor and she has never > done > that before. Are the litter boxes in locations that Muffy can easily reach? Make sure she can get in without jumping. Also, try some very *soft* clumping litter. Cats will sometimes avoid scratching in litter if they develop arthritis in their paws. >But I well think about what you said. I feel terrible saying > this but I can't put lots of money on her, I'm putting myself though [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > her in the dirt, I need to have her with me. I would like to know if a one > has had this done and how it went. I have never had a cat cremated, but I have several friends who have used the procedure. I believe there are two different costs, depending on whether you want a guarantee that your cat was cremated alone so you can receive only your cat's cremains (which is what most people want if they are going to the trouble and expense of cremation). >>> Alright, I'm back and it went about as well as I thought. They said she >>> was [quoted text clipped - 20 lines] >> >>MaryL >>I really don't know, he said the fluids would only last a few days and it >>not [quoted text clipped - 34 lines] >>> >>>MaryL >Also I think her back legs are >> really hurting her, Muffy has also peed on the floor and she has never [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] >their paws. >I don't think she is haveing a proplem getting to it. Whats strange is she just started doing this today, after I took her to the vet. > I have never had a cat cremated, but I have several friends who have used > the procedure. I believe there are two different costs, depending on > whether you want a guarantee that your cat was cremated alone so you can > receive only your cat's cremains (which is what most people want if they are > going to the trouble and expense of cremation). I've had 2 cremated and put their ashes in big pots on my deck with climbing roses. (unfortunately both roses have died so I've just got 2 pots of dirt with their tags ) ron First, it is >foolish for your vet to say that your cat is "already 4 years older than she >should be." Let me rephrase what he said. He said the average life of a house cat right now in the us is 13. And I asked even if we find out what it is then treading it can you say she is going to life for six months or more. Of course I knew the answer to this. He said no if we did start treatment, because of the age she could die of a heart attack the next day. He didn’t say any of this to be mean, he started out with we can do this this and this. But I stopped him, and I’m glad he was honest with me. 13 years for an indoor cat seems way low, I thought it was closer to 20. ron > First, it is > >foolish for your vet to say that your cat is "already 4 years older than she [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > the answer to this. He said no if we did start treatment, because of the age > she could die of a heart attack the next day. He didn't say any of this to be > mean, he started out with we can do this this and this. But I stopped him, > and I'm glad he was honest with me. It *is* way low. Her vet seems to be referring to data that was out-of-date many years ago. (I think 20 is a bit high, but there are many that live to age 20 and beyond.) MaryL > 13 years for an indoor cat seems way low, I thought it was closer to 20. > [quoted text clipped - 19 lines] >> him, >> and I'm glad he was honest with me. Please, take your Muffy to the vet. It could save her lots of pain and to you too. > Hello all, you'll have to forgive me, I have done nothing cry, and try no > not [quoted text clipped - 27 lines] > Please do not take anything I have said the wrong way, I just want some > people to talk to how understand. Please, take your Muffy to the Vet. It may well be that she is in pain and that's why she doesn't eat. I just lost my love cat, Paris, and when he was in pain it did not show. I knew because the Vet told me and since then he was under medication until today when he was put to sleep. > Hello all, you'll have to forgive me, I have done nothing cry, and try no > not [quoted text clipped - 27 lines] > Please do not take anything I have said the wrong way, I just want some > people to talk to how understand. If you can get your cat to drink it Gatorade can be given to cats > Please, take your Muffy to the Vet. It may well be that she is in pain and > that's why she doesn't eat. [quoted text clipped - 35 lines] >> Please do not take anything I have said the wrong way, I just want some >> people to talk to how understand. > Please do not take anything I have said the wrong way, I just want some > people to talk to how understand. when i get old, I want to bang around till I drop right there don't put me in no home - im going out kicking and screaming keep her warm, her boans might need a little help staying warm dear I have made my decision. I just keep her alive to watch her slowly suffer, I can't even bare to see her now, so tired, not really eating, and have a hard time getting around. Monday I will say goodbye. I can't stand it, I always knew it would hurt, I even wrote a little quote to her over a year ago. "Everyday I have you will make the day I lose you hurt more" I don't know, think what you want of that, but I use to say it, and it's true. Once again I want to thank you all for you kind words and help. I want to ask something else, I want to be with her, but I don't know it I can stand it, and my dad has offered to take her in for me. He says there in no point in me being there it will only hurt me. But I still kind of want to be there for her, what do you all think? It will be a very peaceful way for her to go at the vet's. I think you made the right decision. Think about how you will feel afterwards. Will you have regrets about being there with her or not being there with her? Gail >I have made my decision. I just keep her alive to watch her slowly suffer, >I [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > being there it will only hurt me. But I still kind of want to be there for > her, what do you all think? >I have made my decision. I just keep her alive to watch her slowly suffer, >I [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > being there it will only hurt me. But I still kind of want to be there for > her, what do you all think? I have been through this twice. Each time, my vet gave me some time alone with my beloved companion. Then, I held my cat on my lap while the local anesthetic and then the final dose were administered. I knew it would be painful for me but not for my cat. I considered this to be my final act of love to cats that had given me many years of love and trust. I did not want their final moments to be spent in any kind of fear, and both were completely relaxed during the last few moments. I have never regretted my decision to "be there" at the end for my wonderful feline friends. When the time comes again -- and I know that it will -- I will follow the same procedure. The only change I will make is that next time I will ask the vet to come to my home so my cat will be in a familiar environment. I didn't realize until a few years ago that that is a possibility. I will be thinking of you. I know you are facing one of the most difficult and painful decisions any catslave endures, but you are taking an action that will spare Muffy from going through needless pain and discomfort. MaryL I know what you mean -- it is a very hard thing to do, to be there. I've gone through it twice. Even though it was sad and I cried the minute I stepped into the vet office, I wouldn't have had it any other way. For me, I would not have forgiven myself if I had not been there. I would have wondered about it and thought about it, how did they feel, were they scared because I wasn't there, etc. I had to find the courage for them. Maybe your dad could go with you, drive you there and be there for support? Rhonda > Once again I want to thank you all for you kind words and help. I want to ask > something else, I want to be with her, but I don't know it I can stand it, > and my dad has offered to take her in for me. He says there in no point in me > being there it will only hurt me. But I still kind of want to be there for > her, what do you all think? I am sorry that you are losing your beloved cat. You need to remember that she really did live to a very good old age. (18) Some cats do live more but most don't even live that long. She was very lucky to have you to love and take care of her. You need to try to be with her while she is being given her final shot. Later you will understand why and be glad you did it. My cats have all been cremated after they died. I've asked for a private cremations and then been given their remains which were then sprinkled in their favorite places. Love, Barb Of course I don't look busy, I did it right the first time. > I have made my decision. I just keep her alive to watch her slowly > suffer, I can't even bare to see her now, so tired, not really eating, [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > there in no point in me being there it will only hurt me. But I still > kind of want to be there for her, what do you all think? I've gone through it with 2 cats. I think it was much better for them to be held in familiar arms at the end instead of with someone they didn't know & trust. Also, my being there and holding them actually helped me reach a point of closure with the end. The roughest part was watching the cats decline and making the final decision. Maybe your dad >I have made my decision. I just keep her alive to watch her slowly suffer, I >can't even bare to see her now, so tired, not really eating, and have a hard [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] >being there it will only hurt me. But I still kind of want to be there for >her, what do you all think? Blu, If you can manage it, be there for your baby. When I had to make the same decision, I was there for him. I've never regretted being there. Hang in there. >Once again I want to thank you all for you kind words and help. I want to ask >something else, I want to be with her, but I don't know it I can stand it, >and my dad has offered to take her in for me. He says there in no point in me >being there it will only hurt me. But I still kind of want to be there for >her, what do you all think? Blu, I'm so sorry this time has come for you now. Go there with her. Take your dad along for yourself. I've only had to do it once, but I'm really glad that we were able to be there with her. We were able to hold her and stroke her as she left on her journey. It still hurt, but I felt better knowing how peaceful she was at the end. L. Thank you all once again. I'm going to try to go; either my dad or a friend is going to go with me. She is already almost back to the way she was before I took her there and she got the fluids. I have her curled in my arm, her head on my chest, she's just laying sleep, She will not even purr anymore, she use to her for no reason, on the other side of the room when no one was with her, for her to know purr now I know it's time. The lastest news on my baby. She's beathing funny, still drinking a lot and eatting very little, I just gave her a plate of turkey bits. The think that really bothers me is her lip in the past day it's gotten all swollen, anyone now what this could mean? Blu, Did the vet check her mouth thoroughly? I wonder if she has an infected tooth. That can really make them ill, and would explain why she didn't want to eat much. Rhonda > The lastest news on my baby. She's beathing funny, still drinking a lot and > eatting very little, I just gave her a plate of turkey bits. The think that > really bothers me is her lip in the past day it's gotten all swollen, anyone > now what this could mean? Here's one piece of info on swollen lips from this website: -Rhonda http://www.healthypet.com/faq_view.aspx?ID=165&sid=2 A swollen lip in a cat may be caused by such things as chin acne, tooth root infections, tumors, insect bites, etc. For an accurate diagnosis, it's best to visit your veterinarian for a good look at your cat's lip. After a complete exam, treatment can be started to target the underlying cause. He did look at her gums when we we're there Fri. and they where very thin from the dehydration. Now her bottom lip is so big she starting not to look like my baby, and this just started, in the last 12 hours. I did ask when I called today about it he said “off handed it sounded like it may be a sign of kidney frailer.” In a few hours I have to take my beautiful girl in to have her put to sleep, I will hold her to the end. The vets office are so nice, even on the phone they could not have been nicer. I still think I’m doing the right thing, there is just nothing left to her now, and she’s all bones. I just can’t believe she went down hill so fast, I swear to god I would not have let her get this bad, a week ago she was not like this. And I can tell looking in her eyes, she so tired. I just keep holding her telling her how much I love her. I just can't > believe she went down hill so fast, I swear to god I would not have let her > get this bad, a week ago she was not like this. Don't blame yourself. Cats can go down hill fast. I've had a cat (Fugazi) go from playing and winning games with her sister one morning to "something a bit wrong" by mid afternoon to "This doesn't look good" by the evening and a little over 24 hours from her being her usual self she was PTS for inoperable cancer. Lesley Slave of the Fabulous Furballs |
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