Requiem for Little Buddy

a man in his forties
sounds idiotic
when he cries
it's empty where
my little buddy
usually lies
for eight warm years
you followed me
five steps behind
I never knew
how far you slipped
into my mind
until your bones
began to show
under your fur
and in your eyes
I noticed pain
beneath your purr
the doctors thought
you had a chance
if we took care
all our work
just showed again
life's damned unfair
you tried hard
to make us know
you could not stay
you wouldn't bite
or scratch us
so you crawled away
If wishes were
not strong enough
to have you again
I'd make them
erase for you
that awful pain
your little sister
whom you helped raise
she feels it too
most afternoons
she walks the house
looking for you
a week ago
we gave you peace
tearful goodbyes
a man in his forties
sounds idiotic
when he cries

derek mark edding
December 2005