Welcome to  slavehood
Welcome to being owned by a cat or your case joint custody
Ain't it wonderful

My cat is not a lap kitty at all.  When I spotted her at the humane
society, she was staring intently at me through the bars of her cage
(her cage was in the upper level, so she was looking down).  From the
moment we got her into the trial room, she refused to let me carry her
and she went under a chair and stared at me again.  Well, as far as I
was concerned, she was just playing hard-to-get, so I adopted her,
thinking she'd warm up eventually.

After 5 years, she's still not a lap cat.  However, I discovered that
as soon as I hold out a brush or comb, she'll come running and happily
sit on my lap for hours to be brushed.

So, to answer your question, yes, it was an evil plot to make you their
slave for life.  All cats do it.  Even if you don't realize you've been
had, always remember, you have!!

An aside, one of my co-workers was discussing another, very difficult
and unpleasant co-worker.  She said, "She's just like a cat.  When she
wants something, she sidles up to you and acts nice, but she's really
quite mean" or something like that.  Now, I love cats, so I was a
little offended that she compared the difficult and unpleasant
co-worker with something I love.  However, she had a point...:-)

Bubba isn't really a lap kitty because he's too big and hangs off
both sides. It doesn't seem to be too comfortable for him.

If I lie on my back he'll lie on my chest and stomach
for awhile but he takes up my whole torso, and I'm 6'1" 190lbs...

http://www.sonic.net/~claudel/bubba/bubba.html

If I don't keep his claws trimmed he digs holes in my shirts
and in my chest kneading...

Claude

furfin <little_shmax@sbcglobal.net> wrote in
rec.pets.cats.health+behav:

Aw, another victim of cat duplicity.  They knew what you wanted and
pretended to give such in order to get a nice cozy home.  Sorry to say,
but you've been had.  Cats is smater than us'ns.

IMHO Count yourself lucky.  It can become very tiresome to never be able
to sit down without a furry  attaching to you

You sooo have been had..

Welcome to the club.. ;op

Sssssslavery, I tell you ssssssssslavery !

"furfin" <little_shmax@sbcglobal.net> wrote:

I can't imagine sitting down enough for a cat to be comfortable on
my lap.

I lie down while using my computer. Every once in a while Kiki lies
on my chest. Sometimes while I am sleeping, she climbs on to my side
(I gained 10 pounds overnight). About half of the time while using
the computer, Kiki is next to my pillow or in between my chest and
left arm on the bed.

Of course you have. Cats have the 'please adopt me' routine down to a
science- they've made it into an art form.

Here's a short excerpt from the "Silent Miaow" that should give you an idea
of the cunning and intelligence you're dealing with.  Its the handbook
written by a cat and translated directly from the feline by Paul Gallico.
Its an instruction book for cats on how to take over a family:

"There didn't seem to be any evidence of children about, or servants either,
which was all to the good. Children are all right eventually, and can be
handled, but it is better, if possible, to take over your family before they
arrive. And servants can give you a lot of trouble.

This pair looked exactly like the family I wanted, so I jumped onto the
screen door, clung there, and cried piteously.

They looked up at me from their breakfast. I knew exactly how I appeared to
them from the other side of the screen door. Irresistible! I pretended to
lose my grip on the mesh and fell off, and then climbed back up again,
crying all the time.

The woman said, "Oh look! The poor little thing, it wants to come in. Maybe
it's hungry. I'll give it some milk."

Just as I expected! I had her. All I needed was to get one paw inside the
door."

Read the whole book so you'll know what you're dealing with. ;)

Is there any chance they will mellow into lap fungus

As cats get older, many mellow out and become more affectionate.  Right now,
they're only a little older that rambunctious teenagers.

Or was it all an evil plot to make me their slave for

Simple. If you want cats to do what you want all you have to do is answer
the quintessential cat question: What's in it for me? lol

Phil

My Squeekers wasn't much of a lap cat until the last 3 years.  He was more
of a newspaper or book kitty and would only come sit on my lap if I had one
of the two in my hand.  He now though will come up while I'm watching TV and
settle down for a short snooze and lovings.

Celeste