Cat Forum / Health and Behavior / February 2004
A warning before you euthanize your cat. (sorry--it is long)
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AJ - 07 Feb 2004 19:20 GMT Hi My first time posting here, but I need to say something that might prevent others from having the sad experience I had yesterday regarding our wonderful cat, Merlin. My husband and I took our beloved 18 year old Merlin to our vet yesterday to be euthanized because his body had just finally given out. (He was very ill, couldn't eat, was very weak, and was no longer responding to any medical treatment--just mainly sleeping all the time.) He still recognized us and responded to us and it was very hard to make the decision, but it was a kindness to him to let him go. We had never had to have a pet 'put to sleep' before, but we trusted our vets and we thought that they had explained the procedure pretty thoroughly and we thought we knew what to expect. (We were so wrong!) They told us there would be an injection, and he would lose consciousness, and shortly after that, he'd be gone. They explained that he might appear to struggle to breathe, but not to be alarmed, as that was reflexive and he wouldn't be conscious or feeling any distress by then. My husband couldn't face seeing it done, but I wanted the last touch and the last voice that our precious kitty heard to be my familiar voice and my loving touch. Above all, I wanted him to be able to drift away into death very peacefully, feeling loved and secure. The vet said it was fine for me to stay with him. The reality was very different from what I had hoped. When they tried to put the needle into a vein in his leg for the injection, it clearly hurt him a lot and he fought and struggled as they held him down and tried to find a vein. I tried to talk to him and reassure him but he must have felt that I had delivered him into a torture chamber. They failed to find a vein, and went on to try several other sites in quick succession while he struggled, yowled in pain and fought to get away from them. A second vet came in and made another attempt. At this point, I managed to get myself together, tears flooding down my face, and tell them to stop! I said "Please Please can't you give him some kind of sedation before you try any more to give him the injection." They did stop then, as I had asked, and one of them went out for some kind of 'gas' machine. The other vet didn't want to use that and he went out and got some other kind of injection that he said would not hurt if he put it into the abdomen, and that is what he did. It seemed to render Merlin unconscious--or at least paralyzed and unresponsive. One of the vets stayed with him and me while we waited at least 20 minutes for his dear heart to cease beating. This didn't happen, and eventually, the other vet came back and shaved a place on his leg, found a vein, and administered the fatal injection. Then, we brought our sweet pet home and made a grave for him in our back yard. I couldn't sleep last night for thinking how traumatic, painful and frightening Merlin's last moments on this earth were, and how I wasn't able to protect him and give him the loving and peaceful exit that his gentle heart so deserved. Today I cry every time I think about it. I am flooding the keyboard as I type this now. We have taken our two cats to these vets for ten years. Until yesterday, we had trusted them and felt that they were caring people and were doing a good job. I truly feel blindsided by what happened. I am posting this in the hope that if the time ever comes when you are faced with having your cat euthanized, you will learn from our experience. I suggest that you impress upon your vet that you want your cat pre-sedated in some manner to avoid having his/her last moments spent in fear and pain. I also wish so much that I had had the presence of mind to stop the proceedings the first instant that I saw that it was causing pain and fear. I am devastated by this and as desperately as I wish I could--I can't go back and make it better for my dear kitty, but maybe someone here will learn from our experience. Thinking about that possibility may help my heart begin to heal from this. Right now I feel like I failed my best friend when he needed me the most. Thanks for 'listening.' AJ
Mary - 07 Feb 2004 19:27 GMT > Hi > My first time posting here, but I need to say something that might > prevent others from having the sad experience I had yesterday > regarding our wonderful cat, Merlin. AJ, I am so sorry this happened to you. On top of the loss of your Merlin, the experience at the vet must be unimaginably painful. I don't know why it happened as it did, I'm just so sorry it did.
Cathy Friedmann - 07 Feb 2004 19:28 GMT > Hi > My first time posting here, but I need to say something that might [quoted text clipped - 51 lines] > faced with having your cat euthanized, you will learn from our > experience. I'm sorry about what you went through w/Merlin. Otoh, I don't think this is a common scenario. I've have 2 cats euthanized so far, & both were calm experiences. And have been on this ng since '98, but very few (none that jump to mind, at any rate) horror stories about euthanasia.
My first cat who was euthanized was very feisty, even when incredibly ill, & knowing this, my vet gave her a pre-euthanasia injection for sedation in the her foreleg, before the fatal injection. Both injections went fine.
My second cat who was euthanized - she received just the fatal injection, & it was over with within a few seconds.
Cathy
-- "Staccato signals of constant information..." ("The Boy in the Bubble") Paul Simon
I suggest that you impress upon your vet that you want
> your cat pre-sedated in some manner to avoid having his/her last > moments spent in fear and pain. I also wish so much that I had had [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > Thanks for 'listening.' > AJ MacCandace - 07 Feb 2004 19:38 GMT << Thinking about that possibility may help my heart begin to heal from this. Right now I feel like I failed my best friend when he needed me the most. Thanks for 'listening.' AJ >>
I'm very sorry, AJ. I've had a few of my cats euthanized and it almost always is swift and peaceful. However, I did have one where it was not that way and she yowled and fought. Her yowling was only for about a minute and it was awful but she was a cat who always reacted very badly at the vet and the vet had said there might be a problem so she did it "differently" than she normally would have. It still upset poor Miles but it was nothing like your experience. I'm very sorry.
Candace (take the litter out before replying by e-mail)
See my cats: http://photos.yahoo.com/maccandace
"One does not meet oneself until one catches the reflection from an eye other than human." (Loren Eisely)
Meghan Noecker - 08 Feb 2004 08:12 GMT I have been fortunate that the vet has done well each time we took a pet in. The only one that died badly was the one who died in the middle of the night at home. He is the reason I will never second guess my decisions on the others.
But, one thing I wanted to add. We have always had one person go in and pay for the service. Then, when it is our turn, they come out to the car. This gives us some privacy as well as being able to hold the dog or cat in our lap, and they do not have to smell the vet smells or hear other animals. It is more peaceful for them.
Meghan & the Zoo Crew Equine and Pet Photography http://www.zoocrewphoto.com
Ginger-lyn Summer - 07 Feb 2004 20:04 GMT <snip>
>Thinking about that possibility may help my heart begin to heal from >this. Right now I feel like I failed my best friend when he needed me >the most. >Thanks for 'listening.' >AJ AJ, I am so very sorry for you and your Merlin that you had to go through this experience. Please try not to feel like you failed your baby; you were only doing the best you could, and there was no way you could have known that the experience would be so traumatic. And I firmly believe that, on the other side, they do not blame us.
Most of these experiences go the way you had hoped Merlin's would. Sadly, occasionally, they don't. I have had only one difficult experience (though not as bad as yours), so I do know it happens and do understand how you must feel right now. Please remember that you gave Merlin many years of love, and that is what will be remembered, always.
Blessings,
Ginger-lyn
Sherry - 07 Feb 2004 23:23 GMT >Thinking about that possibility may help my heart begin to heal from >this. Right now I feel like I failed my best friend when he needed me >the most. >Thanks for 'listening.' >AJ Good Lord... I am so sorry for what you've been through. Don't beat yourself up over it. You did what you thought was best, and that's all we can do. The important thing is that you were with Merlin, and he knows that. Sherry
Kelly - 07 Feb 2004 23:46 GMT <sad story snipped
> Thanks for 'listening.' > AJ AJ, I can sympathize with you and your experience. When I had my cat put to sleep it hurt him when they put the needle in and he cried out. Fortunately, the doctor hit the vein so there was no further struggling, but the way he cried out will haunt me forever and I'll never forget it. I so wish that the time directly before his death could have been a happy one, and it makes me feel so sad when I think about it. Just know that your baby is now in a good place and all pain is gone.
So sorry for your loss, K.
Mary - 08 Feb 2004 01:49 GMT >I am posting this in the hope that if the time ever comes when you are >faced with having your cat euthanized, you will learn from our >experience. Euthanasia is not supposed to be this way at all. I was with my cat as he was allowed to go to sleep mercifully. They shaved his leg and already had an IV in when they brought him into the room wrapped in a colorful blanket. My husband and I sat and pet him, telling him how wonderful he was until he was purring and relaxed. They administered the shot and he was gone in two seconds. His heart had stopped almost instantly. He purred til the very end. I did tell the doctor ahead of time that I didn't want phenobarbital, I wanted the more expensive less painful injection. A shot of pheno to the abdomen will paralyze the animal but it will be alive for a bit. I personally feel you should write a letter to the owner of that hospital so someone can educate the vets so that horrible experience will never happen to anyone else again. What a horrible event for you, your family and your kitty. At least now he is finally at rest. My prayers are with you all.
Sunflower - 08 Feb 2004 02:59 GMT > Hi > My first time posting here, but I need to say something that might > prevent others from having the sad experience I had yesterday > regarding our wonderful cat, Merlin.
>Snip painful story AJ, what you went through was very traumatic and I'm sorry. You had the bad luck of being one of the few that expereience a problem with euthanasia. What sounds like happened is that your cat was dehydrated somewhat from his illness. Dehydrated animals are very hard to find veins on. Unfortunately, not enough education goes on in vet schools about exactly what to do in a problem situation involving euthanasia, and I'll bet this was the first time your vet has been confronted with it himself, despite having been in practice for a while. Or, maybe he was reluctant to go to the abdominal method immediately, because that sometimes causes the owners more stress than the cat. Either an intramuscular or interabdominal shot of a small portion of the euthanasia solution would have allowed your cat to become unconscious. (Cats have their eyes open when sedated, so don't fear that the animal wasn't "asleep" when he finally passed.) Then, as your animal was difficult to get a vein on, the vet should have explained to you than an intracardial stick now that the animal was sedated would be the quickest and most peaceful route for your animal to go. The direct shot to the heart is not something vets really enjoy doing, much less in front of a pet's owner, but it would have been a lot better than many attempts to find a vein. Again, your experience is atypical. But, that doesn't resolve your vet of the responsibility of communication with you and he should have talked with you and reassessed the situation after the second attempt to find a vein. As I said, euthanasia doesn't receive much coverage in vet school, and sometimes vets need additional training in their people skills and communication as well.
Do rest assured that your animal *was* asleep when the fatal dose was administered. He was probably dreaming of the good times with you.
Laura R. - 08 Feb 2004 07:27 GMT circa Sun, 08 Feb 2004 02:59:29 GMT, in rec.pets.cats.health+behav, Sunflower (sunflwrNOSPAM@midsouth.rr.com) said,
> Either an intramuscular or interabdominal shot of a small > portion of the euthanasia solution would have allowed your cat to become [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > not something vets really enjoy doing, much less in front of a pet's owner, > but it would have been a lot better than many attempts to find a vein. When I had Alex euthanized in August, the veterinarian and I had a detailed discussion beforehand, and I decided to go the intracardial route. I had explained that due to nearly two years of chemo, Alex's veins were thrombosed to the point of being very, very difficult to use for injections.
At that point, the vet told me that we could go one of two ways- in the first method, they'd euthanize Alex with an IV solution, but it would have required them to take him out of the room so that they could run a central line (jugular vein) in which to administer the solution. I had been with Alex before both when he'd had IV chemo administered and when he'd had central lines run, but I didn't want to insist upon them running a central line in my presence as this was actually my first time with these vets (I'd just moved to New York and the veterinarians I had taken the cats to when I'd just gotten here were in West Chelsea, both too far away for this and closed on Sundays). I also knew that Alex would be more comfortable without a central line, no matter how well the line was run, due to his long history with needles, and I didn't want him to be taken away from me for even a minute during his last hours.
With the intracardial euthanasia, Alex was first given a sedative that rendered him unconscious (with his eyes open, as the vet had warned me would occur). Once he was unconscious, a needle was inserted into his heart and his heart was injected with a drug to stop it from beating. The vet listened to his heart with a stethoscope the entire time, and while he did have a few minutes of fibrillation (basically random electrical impulses) and she did inject more of the drug into his heart to finally stop it, Alex went very, very peacefully. There was no sign whatsoever that he felt anything.
The intracardial method is at least conceptually difficult for both the owner and the veterinarian as it just seems so horrible to be injecting an animal in its heart like that, but I have to say that it was much less scary than I expected it to be when the vet outlined the procedure, and there was no struggle and no pain for Alex. He died as peacefully as I could have hoped for.
I feel for AJ in her ordeal; I hope I never have to experience anything like that. :-( I did want to detail my experience with intracardial euthanasia, however, for anybody who might have to face the decision in the future. If your cat has any kind of vein problems, whether they be due to dehydration, previous medical treatments, or just plain "difficult" veins, I'd recommend discussing it with your vet as an option.
Laura
AJ - 08 Feb 2004 14:16 GMT My heartfelt thanks to all of you who responded to my story with such kindness, compassion and empathy. You can't know how much it helps. I don't know exactly what led me to post to this group, but I am very thankful to have done so and I am so grateful to every person who has taken time to reach out to me. Thank you Sunflower, for the in depth explanation. I feel reassured that our little guy was unconscious at the very last. And with your information, I will be a little better prepared to face this if it is necessary again someday. And Kelly, Special thanks for telling me your experience. You truly know...and I share your pain too. And, yes, I have decided to write these vets a letter. I hope I can suggest to them how they could be so much kinder without just putting them on the defensive. It is going to be a hard letter to write but I think it will help with my healing whether it makes any difference with them or not. Depending on their response--or maybe regardless of it--we are also going to be looking for another vet for our remaining sweet kitty. Again, thanks to all of you. AJ
Wendy - 09 Feb 2004 12:36 GMT > Hi > My first time posting here, but I need to say something that might > prevent others from having the sad experience I had yesterday > regarding our wonderful cat, Merlin.
>Snip painful story AJ, what you went through was very traumatic and I'm sorry. You had the bad luck of being one of the few that expereience a problem with euthanasia. What sounds like happened is that your cat was dehydrated somewhat from his illness. Dehydrated animals are very hard to find veins on. Unfortunately, not enough education goes on in vet schools about exactly what to do in a problem situation involving euthanasia, and I'll bet this was the first time your vet has been confronted with it himself, despite having been in practice for a while. Or, maybe he was reluctant to go to the abdominal method immediately, because that sometimes causes the owners more stress than the cat. Either an intramuscular or interabdominal shot of a small portion of the euthanasia solution would have allowed your cat to become unconscious. (Cats have their eyes open when sedated, so don't fear that the animal wasn't "asleep" when he finally passed.) Then, as your animal was difficult to get a vein on, the vet should have explained to you than an intracardial stick now that the animal was sedated would be the quickest and most peaceful route for your animal to go. The direct shot to the heart is not something vets really enjoy doing, much less in front of a pet's owner, but it would have been a lot better than many attempts to find a vein. Again, your experience is atypical. But, that doesn't resolve your vet of the responsibility of communication with you and he should have talked with you and reassessed the situation after the second attempt to find a vein. As I said, euthanasia doesn't receive much coverage in vet school, and sometimes vets need additional training in their people skills and communication as well.
Do rest assured that your animal *was* asleep when the fatal dose was administered. He was probably dreaming of the good times with you.
I had a similar thought about difficulty finding a good vein.
Like others have already said, don't beat yourself up over this. You did what you thought was best. Sometimes they just don't go easily but I believe this to be the exception not the rule. My Ralf would have had it easier if I had never taken him to the vet at all. He was quietly near death when he got there. They had to start an IV which I'm sure wasn't easy as he was extremely dehydrated. When that kicked in he started having hallucinations and throwing himself around the cage. Then he started having breathing problems. When we finally put him down they didn't have a problem getting a vein as he already had that set up from the IV but he didn't go quietly. He cried. I don't know if he knew I was there with him or not. I just have to believe that wherever our beloved pets go they get a peek back to know that we were there for them at the end and were only doing the best we could.
W
zuzu22@webtv.net - 08 Feb 2004 08:12 GMT <snip>
> I suggest that you impress upon your vet > that you want your cat pre-sedated in [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > failed my best friend when he needed me > the most. You didn't fail your best friend. Sometimes these things happen and we have no control. Hindsight is always 20/20, but even then it's possible that what we think we shoukld have done wouldn't have made a difference either. I'm sorry you're in so much pain, but please don't feel guilty for a situation you could not control.
On December 1 I had my vet come to my house to euthanize my Sadie, who had been battling a serous illness for 9 months. I thought that since she had always been a sweet and mellow cat that things would go smoothly, but it was not to be. She had started to develop fluid on her chest and was starting to have trouble breathing. When they tried to put a catheter in she got stressed and made it impossible to get the catheter in. I tried to calm her, but her breathing trouble stressed her more and it became a vicious circle. The vet then gave her a sedative and it had an adverse reaction and just made things worse.
At this point we had to move fast so my last memory of my beautiful, lovely girl was not one of me looking into her eyes and saying goodbye while she drifted away, but instead one of me scruffing her tightly and keeping her from struggling long enough so that the vet could quickly find a vein and inject her. All I could do was apologize through my tears and hope it went quickly. It was not pleasant, but the circumstances were such that it was unavoidable. Sometimes this is just the way it goes and we don't get the peaceful ending we'd hoped for. I have lost 7 cats in the last few years and some of the euthanasias have been very calm and peaceful, and sometimes they have not. (Check the Google archive for "What Happened To Benjamin" to see my horror story.)
There are also times when we don't get to really say goodbye, either. Last week I brought my cat Natasha in for surgery to remove and biopsy a tumor I discovered in the back of her mouth. The vet called me while she was on the table and said it was really bad, so I told her to keep her under and I would be there right away.
When I got there she showed me what was going on and there were cancerous masses all the way down the back of her throat. There was nothing to be done and I had no choice but to euthanize. I would have loved for Natasha to see me and hear me one last time, but was it fair to wake her up from that just for my satisfaction? No, of course not, so I sat with her and talked to her and hoped that some small part of her would know I was there and hear me tell her how much I loved her. She slipped away peacefully, but it was still devastating because I so wanted her to know I was right there by her side until the very end no matter what, but I'll never know if she knew I was there.
Whether we have had good or bad experiences with euthanasia the facts are that as long as we choose to have cats in our lives, we will most times have to face this sort of decision again and again. I think most times things will go well, but there are always going to be other factors we have no control over and sometimes that means that it will not go the way we hope it will.
You can't beat yourself up over this. Yes, it's a tough memory to have to live with, but that memory is just a blip on the screen compared to the lifetime of *good* memories you have in your heart and mind, and those are what you must hold on to and cherish.
Megan
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andr0meda - 08 Feb 2004 13:42 GMT This is very beautiful, Megan. I don't want to think about the day it may be my lot, but your post should be read and memorized by all of us, for further use - to strengthen our spirits. Thank you. Yvonne
> <snip> > [quoted text clipped - 95 lines] > > - W.H. Murray MaryL - 08 Feb 2004 17:30 GMT > You can't beat yourself up over this. Yes, it's a tough memory to have > to live with, but that memory is just a blip on the screen compared to > the lifetime of *good* memories you have in your heart and mind, and > those are what you must hold on to and cherish. > > Megan Megan,
Your message is beautiful. You have put thoughts into words that will help a great many people. You have a true understanding of what it means to *care* for our cats and do what is best for them (no matter how painful it may be for us), and your love shows loud and clear in this message. Thank you for posting it.
MaryL
AJ - 08 Feb 2004 21:21 GMT Dear Megan, Your post contains so much wisdom and all of it has been hard won through experience, I can see. It also contains much truth, and I am taking it to heart. Reading it, (and all the other messages here), I can see that even with the most well meaning and compassionate vet (not mine), things are just going to go badly sometimes, and we just have to move on and not dwell on our regret and pain---instead, we have to remember all the love and good times. That is true for the loss of any loved one--not just the four-legged kind. At my age I should know this. I am going to try to put it into practice. I did also search out and read about your dear Benjamin and I cried the whole time I was reading it. I am so sorry that you and Benjamin experienced such an atrocity. But I also was inspired and drew strength from the very clear and strong letter that you wrote to the clinic that served you both so badly. You took back your power and used it for the good of people who came after you. Thank you for writing. AJ
MacCandace - 08 Feb 2004 22:09 GMT << She slipped away peacefully, but it was still devastating because I so wanted her to know I was right there by her side until the very end no matter what, but I'll never know if she knew I was there. >>
I'm very, very sorry, Megan. Natasha and Saide were truly lucky girls.
Candace (take the litter out before replying by e-mail)
See my cats: http://photos.yahoo.com/maccandace
"One does not meet oneself until one catches the reflection from an eye other than human." (Loren Eisely)
MaryL - 08 Feb 2004 17:39 GMT > Hi > > My husband and I took our beloved 18 year old Merlin to our vet [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > Thanks for 'listening.' > AJ AJ,
Please do not think that you failed. You didn't! Everything you did was in Merlin's best interests. Sometimes we can't have the blessing of a peaceful goodbye, but you should find solace in knowing that what you did prevented what could have been a long, painful death for your beloved Merlin. Please carefully read the message that Megan posted this morning. I just read it, and she has beautifully expressed the thoughts that many of us have had -- but she has found the words that escape most of us.
Merlin had a wonderful life with you, and you did everything you could for him when it was obvious that the time had come to let go. You could not have done more.
MaryL
-L. - 09 Feb 2004 06:49 GMT > Hi > My first time posting here, but I need to say something that might > prevent others from having the sad experience I had yesterday > regarding our wonderful cat, Merlin. Sorry for your experiences, AJ. What I can tell you from my experiences working as a vet tech is that many vets presedate kitties before administring the euthanasia solution. I'm sorry your vet didn't do this. Based on my experiences, what you went through is unusual. Please know you did the right thing. Your Merlin is in no pain now, and I'm sure he knows you loved him dearly.
Take care, -L.
kaeli - 09 Feb 2004 15:01 GMT > Hi > My first time posting here, but I need to say something that might > prevent others from having the sad experience I had yesterday > regarding our wonderful cat, Merlin. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I've had several cats euthanized, and none of them ever went through that. That must have been so very hard. Know that he is in a good place now with no more pain and that he knows you loved him. You didn't fail him - it's not like you knew this was going to happen. He knows you did what you thought was best. He's romping over at Rainbow Bridge, playing with the other kitties and waiting for you.
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Karen M. - 11 Feb 2004 04:06 GMT >>Hi >>My first time posting here, but I need to say something that might [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > He's romping over at Rainbow Bridge, playing with the other kitties and > waiting for you. I'm sorry too. Sorry to piggyback, but can't see original post. You did what you thought was best, and now Merlin is at peace and watching over you.
Karen
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